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Whole 30, Day 0!

Saturday, May 31, 2014

So after watching the scale slowly creep UP in the 8 months since Jo was born, I've finally decided enough is enough.

I've started getting more exercise, averaging 4 days per week -- really, not bad for a full-time working mom!

Now it's time to tackle FOOD. I'm doing another Whole30 for the month of June. The timing is right -- work is very low stress right now because I'm not teaching. Miles no longer works nights because he's in school. I'll finish the day before my family comes to visit. I have no excuses left!

So we've stocked up -- we did a huge Costco run and now have tons of meat, steelhead trout, shrimp, canned salmon and tuna, eggs, almond milk, all-natural almond butter, and olive oil. We have an incredibly bountiful organic CSA share that keeps us VERY well stocked in veggies. All I have to do is keep my will-power!

I do think this will be a lot harder this time around. I'm not as fit, and I haven't been eating anything close to Paleo in nearly a year and a half. My sugar cravings are OUT OF CONTROL. My metabolism is totally out of whack. I'm going to have one really crappy, tired week soon. But I know I'll make it, and it's going to be worth it.

I've got what it takes to make this Whole 30 rock!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EGRAMMY 6/7/2014 7:56AM

    Good for you. Our Feminist team cheers you on
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I am doing a costco run tomorrow to pick up cakes for a club. But I'll remember your list and get me some of those.

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MOLLI15 6/1/2014 7:55PM

    You can do it! I'm excited to hear updates!

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FITMARY 5/31/2014 7:14PM

    Good for you! 4 days a week is good for anyone. For a working mom, it's prize-worthy!
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Returning, maybe? (Also, a few baby pics!)

Friday, April 18, 2014

I honestly don't think I've been away from my blog for this long before. There's no way to do an update and no reason to.

Life is amazing. I love my daughter, I love my husby, I love my job, I love my activist work, I love my home.

My body....... not so much.

I returned to good habits several times. I'd get into a habit of exercising at least 10 min. a day for a week... and then something crappy would happen. First, Jo got really sick, so all my energy went into looking after her and helping her sleep. Then, I got what Jo had and it turned into a major sinus infection that lasted two weeks. That was in January. In February, I got back into the habit for a week, and then Miles and I got food poisoning; a week later, we went to visit Miles' family. So I fell out of the habit again. I got back into the habit a couple weeks later, really focusing on my abs because I was getting a backache. Week and a half later, I herniated a disc in my back.

That was a month ago. I'm only now able to walk and sit pain-free. I was going to do physical therapy, but I guess my insurance company said no because my doctor's office never called me with a referral.

It's been really hard.

Whenever someone says "breastfeeding is great, and you lose the weight faster," I want to hurt them slowly. Breastfeeding was the worst (while some women talk about pumping 12 oz. at a time, I was lucky to get 5.), and I was one of those anomalies who doesn't lose any weight from nursing. Nope, it just made me hungry and thirsty and in a lot of pain. So I finally stopped in late February, at which point my period came back and I did start to lose a little of the baby weight. But then the slipped disc happened, and I am back where I started.

Literally. I'm 15lbs shy of my highest ever weight (207), and 5 lbs higher than I was when I joined Spark People back in 2008. (Or was it 9? Whatever).

It's depressing, yeah. More depressing is how weak my core is, and how walking at 3mph is as tiring as running 5.5mph used to be. Because that's what happens when you can't exercise for so long.

I know that my body can and will bounce back, eventually. "Bounce" is probably the wrong word -- "inch its way back" is probably more appropriate. Because this is going to take a long time. Miles works at 2:30am (until May 12) so I am alone with Jo every morning, so exercise is hard to fit in. But I can do my best to eat better. I'm already working on being MINDFUL of when and what I eat, and knowing when I'm really hungry vs. bored. I'm ready to recommit to walking regularly, working my way up to aerobics and running, and doing lots of planks (because I'm afraid to do any other ab work cuz of my back) to help my core.

The #1 thing I know that will work, but I can't get myself to commit to, is Paleo. I KNOW I function better on a Paleo diet. I KNOW this. I know a Whole 30 would be an amazing jump-start for me and would boost my confidence while jump-starting this change. But the fact is, I don't have TIME to cook and eat Paleo all the time. I'm still really struggling to find time to cook a proper meal after work -- I rely on the crock pot, frozen staples like tortellini, and quick fixes like tacos. A Whole 30/ Paleo diet takes a LOT of energy and time to do right.

So I have to figure out the diet thing. I'll get there eventually. To start, I just need to make some time to track what I eat. That's the beginning.

Just ten minutes a day. That's all it takes to start a habit.

I can do that, right?

(Oh, and I know you really want to see this -- my lil' sweetie! She's 6 1/2 month now and the. best. She is literally the best and I love her more than anything)

^ Her daycare had a little "picnic" for the little babies!


^ Tummy time is no longer a problem. Jo LOVES rolling around and she's already trying to crawl.



^ Her new fave toy -- a Jumparoo! It was her 1/2 birthday gift.

Isn't she just gorgeous? emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUDRFLY31 5/19/2014 10:24PM

    I like GermanPickle's response because she is so right! I didn't lose during Nursing at all. 3 kids, 2 years of nursing a piece makes 6 years of nursing with nothing to show for the 6 years of "losing from nursing". I was 50 pounds heavier after my 3rd child then I was before I got pregnant the first time. But what I do have to show for it is 3 beautiful, healthy children. I finally came to the realization that eating off their plates because they didn't finish it all was not a good idea. I started to do something about it, but it took me 10 years! Be patient with yourself, and I love your idea of small steps. Honest, they will add up! Just like Jo will experience soon. She will be taking small tentative steps at first, she will fall often, get back up and try again. Then before you know it, she will be running around the house. Watch her and mimic her, but instead of walking, start with changing one bad habit, then get brave and change another. Etc...
Good luck and much congratulations on a beautiful baby.

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 4/29/2014 10:16AM

    Thanks for a great blog. Breastfeeding did not help me to lose weight at all. In spite of all of the lush La Leche promises that you could just top everything you ate with tons of butter and cream, a glance at a piece of spinach would add a pound for me!

Jo is really beautiful! Enjoy every minute!

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JODROX 4/19/2014 10:55PM

    She is gorgeous! And you are going to figure out a way to make it all work. It's a lot to juggle - being a mom and working outside the home. Start with proper nutrition and small amount of exercise.

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GERMANPICKLE 4/19/2014 1:22AM

  She is beautiful!

You wrote "and I was one of those anomalies who doesn't lose any weight from nursing." which is NOT true. Actually at least half of us who nurse don't just drop the weight without focusing on calories as well. Our bodies are designed to make us hungry - really hungry - while nursing so that we can make sure that both the baby and ourselves stay relatively healthy. I am one of those people as well and it is frustrating to know I'm feeding another human and not losing the weight automatically. I'm part of my nursing circle and more than 2/3 of us don't see the weight just melt off and we are on our second to fifth child respectively. :)
(also, I nursed my first for almost 2 years and I NEVER dropped the weight from just nursing)

It does take a LOT of effort to start a specific eating plan, especially when they are focused on specific types of food/drink. However, small changes can make a big impact. :)

To be honest, there was no way that I could focus on more than settling into being a mom and then a working mom in the first year of my first baby's life. Then we moved and I could be a working mom who was settling up house but not too much more. Funny enough, now, with the second child, it is so much easier for me to find time to cook and exercise regularly. Because I'm ALREADY a mom; I've got this. Now I have the energy and the space to look at being me again.

I feel like our society act like becoming a mom is something to just "bounce" back from. And it isn't. Being a mom is a fundamental shift of person, of responsibility, of life set-up for the rest of our lives. For women it's a mental, physical, and emotional change that alters us from the ground up and in all aspects of our lives.

All of that to say, give yourself space. Breathe. You are keeping a human alive. You are learning new skills all the time. New ways of thinking. Be kind to yourself.

Comment edited on: 4/19/2014 1:23:08 AM

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MAESTROSHASHA 4/18/2014 9:55PM

    Welcome back :)

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RAPUNZEL53 4/18/2014 9:21PM

  She is gorgeous! Thanks for sharing the pictures. Good Luck on your journey to life long good health!

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MIMIDOT 4/18/2014 9:08PM

    Just look at that beautiful little girls of yours! That's reason enough for you to get back to taking care of yourself. Take it easy. One day at a time. YOU CAN DO IT!

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MOTTAMAMALOU 4/18/2014 8:57PM

    She is gorgeous and looks like she's a happy baby.

Give yourself a break and take your time. Things will fall into place for you.

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Thankful for my little family

Thursday, November 28, 2013


How can I not be grateful for such adorable people??

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GERMANPICKLE 2/6/2014 8:43AM

  How precious. My little one was also born in September. Aren't they precious?!

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SLIM153 12/1/2013 12:43PM

    It is so fun to 'talk' with little people;)
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DUSTYPRAIRIE 11/30/2013 2:32AM

    emoticon

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STR458 11/29/2013 6:06PM

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Six weeks of mamahood

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Six weeks ago, my baby finally decided it was time to join the outside world, and my life has (duh) been turned upside down. If ANYONE reading this is a single parent, let me take this moment to say that you are officially one strong, kick-ass person -- because I cannot imagine doing this alone. And the thing is... I've had it relatively easy!

The homebirth went really well. My midwife and I did end up deciding to use some natural induction methods -- herbs for two days and then, unfortunately, a dose of castor oil. Let me tell you... if I'm offered a choice between castor oil or pitocin next time, I will take the pitocin. That's how awful the castor oil made me feel. But it also did the trick! I was having some mild contractions (7 minutes apart, very easy to handle) the morning I took the castor oil. After the castor oil, my body quickly ramped into high gear with contractions 2 minutes apart and a minute long -- for FIVE HOURS. Normally, contractions like that mean that it's transition time and you're about to push. Not me. I labored like that from 2 cm to 5 cm, which took 5 hours. But then I guess my body and the baby decided that enough was enough, because an hour and a half later I was at 10cm, my water broke in the most dramatic way possible (my midwife had been, at that moment, looking for more herbs to help speed labor because she thought it was taking a while. Nope), and I was ready to push! Now, I have to say this: I thought the contractions were bad before pushing, but HOLY SHIIIIT. Pushing my baby out basically required me to ignore my will to live. But I did do it, and you know what?

I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'm not saying I'm ready for another kid. But if/when that time comes, I am absolutely doing another homebirth. It was such a positive, empowering, terrifying-but-sooooo-worthwhile experience, and I can't begin to describe how glad I am to have made that choice.

Josephine Linda was born at 9:54 pm on October 3rd, weighing 7lbs, 7oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches. She was also born perfect.



I recovered from the labor really well, too, although the first two weeks were incredibly difficult for me. Physically, I was doing great -- I chalk that up to my uncomplicated labor, staying active and well-nourished all during the pregnancy, and having a lot of help from my hubby and mom-in-law. But emotionally, I was a mess. The post-partum depression was overwhelming. I cried every single day (some days, up to 4 or 5 times) for 10 days straight, skipped a day, then cried another 5 days in a row. I thought I'd never be happy or well-rested again.

But you know... it all seemed to click into place after that. I figured out how to get stuff done around the house with Jo around; I get out of the house for a walk or me-time or errand almost every day (basically, unless the weather sucks); I have friends over and my family has visited. I'm figuring out what being a mom looks like for me. And I like it!! Jo is starting to smile, enjoy cuddles, and hit some milestones like following objects with her gaze. She's a great sleeper, usually. She sleeps for 3-5 hours at a time, which is AWESOME. I actually average 7 hours+ per night. She's pretty advanced on that front.

It's SO COOL to watch this little girl grow before my eyes! I cannot believe how much I love her.

My baby is the best baby ever. Sorry not sorry! And even if you don't believe me, you have to agree: she is super cute and beautiful (and seriously, THE BEST BABY).

I can't believe I MADE this!

Miles and Jo, Day 1:


Tickle time, 1 Week Old:


Getting dressed for our first shopping trip, 2 weeks old (and stricken with Baby Acne):


Happy Halloween -- 4 Weeks old:


Taking a scrapbook-worthy 1 Month "Birthday" Picture:


And just this morning, after 4 hours of fussing and keeping me awake (from 3 to 7). She's lucky she's so dang cute!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GERMANPICKLE 2/6/2014 8:45AM

  I had post-partum with my first as well and it was rough. It took me about 10 months to get back to feeling like myself. I'm glad that you are moving forward through your mothering experience.
All the best!

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INTHELOOP 1/13/2014 9:35PM

    Congratulations!! I love being a mom and I can tell you feel the same way. Adorable little family!! Best Wishes for all of you!
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ARUNNINGKAT 11/19/2013 6:28PM

    I missed this blog when you first posted it (think I was out of town and just using my phone app for Spark) but I loved reading all about your home delivery and your beautiful baby girl! My mom had several babies at home and she never considered anything else.

Your little girl is just so stink'n cute! Enjoy every minute with her!

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JODROX 11/15/2013 8:51AM

    She is beautiful, and you have adapted to motherhood beautifully. I'm so happy for you!

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ZESTFUL60 11/14/2013 3:34PM

  Oh those are the most fun days enjoying babies and at times I miss baby days in my house (1 is married but no kids yet, another was married but getting a divorce, and my other two are teenagers) still nothing like holding and loving a baby. Enjoy them emoticon

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So close

Friday, August 23, 2013

This may very well be my last blog entry for a while. Granted, I'm not a very consistent blogger at all any more, but this time I'll have an excuse!! With just 4 weeks and 5 days until my due date, I think it's safe to say that I'm about to not have any free time.

Being pregnant is no longer "the bomb" as I said three months ago. Oh sure, I love knowing that I have a freakin' baby inside me because that's hella cool... but I'm also looking forward to being able to get out of chairs without grunting, sleeping on my back again (actually, make that sleeping through the night again), going for more than 2 hours without peeing, not needing antacids 4+ days per week, being able to go for a walk without sciatic nerve pain, and not lugging around 35 extra pounds of belly.

You know what makes this super crazy though?

I have been having an incredibly easy, healthy pregnancy. At 8 months pregnant, I can safely say that I fully understand and appreciate the power of fitness and nutrition. This pregnancy has been so straightforward because I have been taking care of myself -- exercising, eating lots of nutritious food, keeping my stress levels normal, and taking pro-active steps to ensure the pregnancy goes well. I honestly can't imagine how women who never learned to eat right, don't exercise, and receive impersonal medical care actually manage to get through pregnancy and birth without being in total misery. Carrying this belly around and growing a whole human is tiring enough as it is... I'm so glad I laid the foundation for a healthy experience years ago.

With about a month to go, Miles and I are really trying to make the most of our last days together as just a couple. We've been socializing more, spending a lot of quality time together, taking little day trips, etc. My birthday is next weekend, so we're spending a few days at a B&B in Gatlinburg (in the Smokies) to celebrate and unwind. I know that once Josephine arrives, we're going to be shut-ins for a while -- so we're not only trying to get our thrills now, but we're also trying to reinforce how much we love to be together in our home. It seems like the best way to prepare for such a major shift.

In terms of the practical things we need, we're really all set for the baby. We got several good baby reference books, my homebirth kit is ready to go, the nursery is complete, the clothes are washed and organized. All that's left to do is get the cloth diapers and a hamper, and do one last gigantic Costco run (we want to stock up our chest freezer with no-tought-required meals).

We're as close to ready as I think we can get... which means that I'm going crazy!!! I switch between "Hurry up and get here already!" and "Please, by all means, take your time!" on a daily basis. I want to be excited that I'm so close to being full term, and yet prepare myself for the very likely possibility that I Jo will be "overdue." I'm intimidated by the idea of facing labor pains, but thrilled by the opportunity to birth my daughter while surrounded by loved ones and supportive professionals, without unnecessary interventions, in a comfortable home setting. I'm often frustrated by my size (and the baby's size!), but I love feeling my baby move around and get the hiccups. I just can't believe how soon she's going to be here -- and yet, I can't believe how much longer I have to wait!!

What's great about this is that I know it's all normal, and it's all healthy. And I'm healthy because five years ago, I decided that I was going to be healthy once and for all, and I stuck to that. And now it's not just for my sake. It's for hers, too.



I'll post again when it's time to lose the baby weight, y'all. But first, I have to finish making the baby.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EGRAMMY 8/24/2013 9:29PM

    emoticon Our team will miss your blogs but we are so excited for you. Do let us know now and then how things are going. emoticon

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JODROX 8/23/2013 10:37PM

    Super excited for you!!

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LIZSPRINGSTEEN 8/23/2013 9:19PM

    God bless you in this journey! My baby is already 2! And my other children are already 8 and 10! But I remember giving birth to my firstborn like it was yesterday! You're in for some amazing times!

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EMMACORY 8/23/2013 9:03PM

    What an exciting time for you and DH! My Mom's middle name was Josephine. She is in heaven now but I'll ask her to watch over you when it is time for little No to arrive. Blessings! emoticon

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