Tuesday, May 20, 2014
I've pretty much been just going along and not really putting forth much effort. That phase is ending and now I'm ready to get moving again.
My hiatus netted me about 1.5 lbs. Ok, that's better than expected, I was really, really dreading the reality check this morning (aka the scale). I could stew about time wasted, but we won't go there. I'm grabing this momentum and going with it.
I'm even drinking more water, something I've struggled with my entire life. So far so good.
See ya tomorrow!
Friday, May 16, 2014
I've got the feeling that I'm living someone elses life. It's weird and hard to explain, but the gist is that things in my life are not to my liking.
My house is messy, that's so unlike me.
I'm eating foods that I didn't normally eat, but now do. (fried, sauce/cheese covered, etc).
I don't do things that give me enjoyment, but instead sit around and do nothing.
There are more things, but I won't get into it all. Bottom line is that my current situation does not feel right. It feels off, kind of odd and ill fitting at the moment.
Not sure what to do about it, if anything. I COULD clean the house I suppose, but that's a futile effort since nobody else seems to notice the mess, nor are they bothered by it, plus we have more stuff than we have house, so it's just moving things from point A to point B and back again. I've spent huge amounts of time cleaning and cleaning and only have a messy house to show for it. Not interested in putting forth the effort any longer. This attitude is distressing since I do enjoy a clean home. After a while you realize that you can't have what you want, so you give up.
I know I was depressed, and still can be at times. Mostly I'm not depressed anymore. Nor am I as anxious as I had been. Still it feels like I'm walking around in someone elses life. Told you this was a weird blog!
~The ramblings of a slightly warped mind :)
Monday, April 21, 2014
This week I will focus on:
getting the sugar back out of my diet, it's creaping back in because I'm not paying close attention.
drinking good for me liquids and no more diet sodas, which have also found their way back into my life. Kicking those out again too. I've had more in the past 2 weeks than I've had probably in the last 6 months or more. No More.
planning for a weekend away from home and will make conscious decisions not to indulge in everything that comes my way. I'm SURE most restaurants offer salads and healthier entrees. I will make every effort to stay on the good side of nutrition.
Wednesday, April 02, 2014
Here's the dilema: Boss/company want me to switch positions.
They are one of the company's good customers. PMA-266
I'm very well suited to do the job.
They are offering me $$ to change
1 customer, not 40 (aka, easier job)
Long term project with program that has many, many years left.
Higher visibility with customers (if they like what they see, they show it)
Get my Condensed Work Schedule back (off every other Friday)
No 2.20 daily bride toll.
offered to send me to training.
They are sending my software out to a company in California to have the front end re-worked. When it comes back, I will take it over. If the new company screws up, guess who will be the point person to lay the blame......Me.
Cons (why I should stay here)
I've done a lot here and have lots of ideas/plans in the works.
I'm a developer, not a data manager. Not that I can't manage their data, but do I want to? I'd develop solutions as necessary.
Currently supporting 40 customers who love me.
I'm doing development work.
my contract is old, software is old. (end of lifecycle), but will eventually change area of focus, am needed/wanted here. Am assured that if my contract ends, the prime contractor wants me to stay and will hire me on (which makes me the new kid on the block, switching companies is a lot more involved than just switching positions)
Traffic to that location stinks.
Humph. can I turn down the extra $? It's tempting to take it. I never thought I'd be in a position where I would turn down a sweet deal because I like where I'm at LOL.
Made a decision, looks like I have a new job :)
My coworker finally kicked me straight. He said If this isn't the right move, doing a job that used to take 5 people isn't a wise career choice either (my current position). Doh! There's the answer.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
I was really wanting some chocolate. I'm thinking, maybe a piece of SF would be ok. I got a bag of the SF pralines from walmart with the plan to eat one, just one. I'm at 4 now.
I'm not there yet. Can't be trusted to have just one, because after 1, I get to thinking how good they taste, (even though SF is not all that). Once the taste is in my mouth, the OCD kicks in and I want more, until I drive myself batty thinking about it and just toss it all in the garbage. I'll drop the rest of these in the dumpster on my way out.
Some day I'll be able to have a piece and not put myself thru this. Just not today.
This cutting sugar from your diet is not that easy, especially when you have 32 sweet teeth, not just one sweet tooth.
Ok, back to the no sugar plan. That was working.
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