Tuesday, November 05, 2013
Sometimes the shadows of evil are within my own mind, internal forces, not external. I'm fighting back, and holding on to my desire to be healthy, though by the thinnest of threads some days. Looking forward to the day when this depression lifts.
Hanging on, and expect that when this depression finally subsides, it will be with less gain than I normall experience when going thru these troubled times in my mind. So far it's 8 lbs and I'm on the upswing and coming out of it. It used to be over 20 lb gain for one of these major episodes. Being self-aware of what's going on has been one of the best things I've managed to learn and it sure does help with seeing what's happening and being able to stop it.
I know I'm on the upswing because I'm starting to want; want to get moving, want to do better, want to start talking and being a participant instead of hiding from life.
Silence the mind, meditate, be kind to thyself. Healing happens in tiny steps, not all at once.
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.
-- KJV, 23rd Psalm