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BUTRFLY_FREEDOM's Recent Blog Entries

It's been a rough day

Friday, June 20, 2008

Today has been one for the books, I tell ya. It started out fine, but went downhill all the way. And it really doesn't have much to do with my diet or fitness. I guess you could say that work is just taking its toll on me. I just started this job a few weeks ago, so I'm still learning and still getting to know everyone. So far, I lean toward liking those who I have met. EXCEPT for my boss. Go figure huh? I swear, she is the absolute worst boss I'd ever had to deal with. If something goes wrong, she yells and screams and curses and once even threw something. She even sent a coworked out to buy her some beer (I can only hope she saved the beer for home because its STRICTLY forbidden). Today, she really ticked me off though. I was expressing concern to my team leader that I don't know if I'll be able to get my productivity up where it needs to be. See, I'm in data entry and we aim to input 54 "profiles" an hour. I'm roughly around 40 per hour. I'm not unduly concerned because I have my 90 day probation period to work on it, however, I asked my team leader what would happen if I didn't make it. She never gave me an answer, she kind of just skirted around answering with the boss walked in. She asked what we were talking about and the team lead told her. So the boss came over and asked me why I felt that I couldn't meet productivity. I told her that I know how to do the work, but that I simply can't type that fast (and I am NOT a slow typer, I can hold my own). Do you know what her response what? She said and I quote "So quit" ...... I was dumbfounded. Seriously, what professional would say that? Maybe I'm overreacting, I don't know. It just seems to me that if an employee comes to you with a concern about their abilties, the correct response would not be to tell them to quit. I just can't believe how unprofessional she is. Thankfully I kept my very short temper under wraps. I'm in no financial position to quit my job, no matter how much the boss pisses me off. However, I'm not dumb enough to stick around long. I'll be sending out my resume again. I can handle a rude boss, but I demand a professional one.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHILSPHATWIFE 6/20/2008 9:38AM

    your boss sounds like mine. well i have two actually two supervisors because i work for two different departments housed in the same office space. Once supervisor never comes out of her office and most days we don't even know if she's there or not but low and behold she's the one that writes our evalutaions. My other supervisor is a passive agressive old woman who likes to make her inability to function in her management position my problem. She retires next year thank god. So yeah I feel your pain..I can't quit either but yeah my resume is out there. crossing my fingers and praying for a better paying job.

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Yes, I know it's been a while

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Yeah, It really has been a while. I laxed with SP again. I know. And while I swear this time around will be different, I know there is the chance I cave again. However, I am more determined than last time, and that has to count for something.

I've been thinking about things. About why I have failed at all previous attempts to lose weight, get healthy, and to stick with spark. Laziness is all I've come up with. And Laziness is what I saw when I looked at my wedding pictures for the first time. I was married last month and in several of the pictures, I sincerely look like I am pregnant. While thats great for people who ARE pregnant, I'm not. So I have no real excuse to look this way. My job consists of sitting all day at a computer, so I can't change that. But I change what I do before work and after work. I have to start slow because I'm really out of shape. I have a loft apartment and simply going upstairs gets me winded. My first goal is to be able to go up those stairs and not get out of breath. Today, I completed the SP Video: 10 min Cardio Boot Camp or somthing like that. It's a 7 day Boot Camp and I plan to complete each and every day of it. I feel quite energized right now, so lets hope that keeps up.

Also part of my plan is my new spark team. It's called A Friend In Need. http://teams.sparkpeople.com/afriendinneed I created this group because I feel that having someone to lean on is essential to being able to overcome a mountain, and that's what weightloss is. A Mountain. Not impossible to overcome, but a lot of hard work. This team is to make friends with those who will help me overcome my mountain. And for those friends to help others do the same. If you're interested in the group, check out the url above or ask me for an invite. We all need someone to help keep us in line!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Hey girl! Just remember, this part is the hardest, admitting that you need and want to change. Sure there are other struggles but I think realizing where you are and what you need to do is the hardest.

You can totally do this! And I will do anything I can to help. Once Max is born I'm going to be using that fitness center at my apartment a lot. You're more than welcome to come work out with me and go for a swim. We can do this together!


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It's been a while

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

So yeah, it's been a while since I've graced sparkpeople with my presence. Effect: Weight Gain. Oy vey, what have I done!? The story? I just got lazy again. Laziness is my nemesis, forever trying to foil all of my weightloss plans. But no more. After several months of eating what and how much I wanted and subsequently gaining weight (I am now 10lbs OVER my original starting weight), I have decided that I just can't do this anymore. My confidence and selfworth are so much more precious to me than a few more minutes in front of the computer playing World of Warcraft. Go me!

Note: I've also moved again. I now live in an Apartment without a gym or a pool, but lots of places to walk. I'm also "considering" joining a gym, provided the price is within budget. That and my best friend will be moving in 2.4 miles down from me in august. My goal is to be able to jog that distance with ease by the time she moves in!

My weight today: 235
Pant Size: Ranges from 22 to 26

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUMBER2MARCH07 2/19/2008 1:00PM

    You can do it. I use to play a lot of MMORPGs I know what a fight it is to break away from your routines with them. Anything in moderation is okay , but make sure you have limits on yourself... no matter how many levels you gain, or how many dungeons you conquer it will not compare to how good you feel when you "level up" in real life. If you need anything....


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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 2/19/2008 11:08AM

    Hang in there. You can do it!

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Hungry Again

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Yep, I was hungry pretty must most of today. I had a small sandwich for breakfast (no mayo), Kenny brought home me home, what is usually a delicious tea from a local restaurant, however (knowing I'm watching my calories, he brings it home unsweetened). Which is good, I mean, I told him yesterday to help me keep an eye on myself, but my usually very tasty tea was less than appetizing. For lunch we go to subway. I get a footlong (half now, half for dinner at work) and opt for water instead of soda and yogurt instead of chips. I leave the mayo and the ranch dressing and only get mustard on my roastbeef on wheat sandwich. So far I'm doing good. Not hungry. But I go to work at 3pm and eat the other half of the sandwich around 5pm. By 8pm, my stomach is growling. I get off at 11pm expecting to go get a salad or something from some fast food restaurant but Kenny isn't there to pick me up. I call him a bazillion times with no answer. Finally someone at my job feels sorry for me and takes me home. I get here and I've worked up an appetite after arguing with Kenny and throwing the clock at him. He claims that not only did it not go off, but that neither the house phone OR his cell phone rang. Bull. I asked him if he expects me to believe that. Anyway by this time, I was so frustrated, and so sickly hungry that I told him I'd forgive him if he got me something to eat. By now the only place open (and close enough) is Checkers, which doesn't have ANYTHING remotely good for you. So, I tell him to get my usual, which he does. I here I am just finished my double cheese burger, and cheese fries and sipping on yet another unsweetened tea. Over half a days worth of calories in one burger. It's sickening.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VMGALLEGOS13 9/23/2007 3:31PM

    I am sorry. I hope that it gets better and easier soon.

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Friday, September 21, 2007

I'm just so frustrated today. I mean, I actually eat breakfast, I bring enough food with me to work for lunch and dinner and I'm still hungry. I'm perfectly within in all my goals and I'm still hungry. I've thought of nothing but food today because my stomach is screaming at me. I even came home and ate a snack and I'm still hungry even as I type this blog. Gah! It's just so hard because I want to go into the kitchen, yank out that coffee cheesecake, and eat the whole thing because then I wouldn't feel hungry. But, don't worry, I'm leaving it alone.

Atleast I know I could never become anorexic... I like food too much. Sheesh.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VMGALLEGOS13 9/23/2007 3:05PM

    I hope that the feeling leaves, have you thought about upping your calorie intake it will drop your weight loss weekly but if you are hungry all the time then what is the point.

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