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Why Fear is a BAD Reason to Not Do Something

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

This past week I did something that I've been literally wanting to do for years: pierce my nose. With one of those itty bitty little studs that almost looks like a speck of glitter.

It was a spur of the moment decision and I'm very happy I finally did it.

But it got me thinking about WHY I hadn't already done it. My list looked something like this:

*I'm too old (I'm 28, but felt that piercings are more for teens and early 20 somethings

*What if people hate it? (My ex said they were ugly)

*My job (not allowed at work)

*What if I hate it? (that would suck)

And so on. But these are horrible reasons to not do something! They are all based out of fear. And it's no bueno to give in to fear.

I mean, really? Who cares how old I am? Who cares if someone else doesn't like what I do with MY body? If I hate it, I can take it out! The job was the only semi-legit reason on the list (which I no longer have to worry about).

So I said to heck with it. I'm doing it. And, as you can see, I did. And I love it, btw.

But then I started thinking... these excuses are NO DIFFERENT than the ones we tell ourselves about exercising and eating right. They may look a bit different, but they're the same.

*I'm too old. I'm too heavy. I'm too this. I'm too that. For the record --- NO, YOU'RE NOT.

*What if people laugh at me? What if people think I look dumb? What if people don't accept what I'm doing? FORGET about "PEOPLE". You aren't a business, these people can't buy *stock* in you. They don't get a say!

*My job. I don't have time. I'm too busy. NO YOU AREN'T. Working out and eating right, simply isn't a priority. We MAKE TIME for the things that are IMPORTANT to us!

*What if I hate exercising? What if I hate this food? What if it bores me? Then do/eat something else! Experiment. Learn. Getting something wrong means you're learning what doesn't work -- which is JUST AS IMPORTANT as knowing what does work!

Fear limits, paralyzes, slows, detracts.

Jumping takes you places. Doing opens doors. Flying sets you free.

Don't want to walk? Then dance!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALISWALKER 9/17/2012 7:30PM

    Good for you!

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WE_PA_FIT 9/10/2012 10:44AM

    awesome reminder!!! thanks!!

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BOGUSANNIE 9/9/2012 12:09AM

    Well done!!! I am soooo guilty of not doing things out of fear...that being said, I have learned to let lots of that go...it's old age I think!!! emoticon

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KATD13 9/8/2012 9:39PM

    Yes! Love that positive attitude.
You can conquer the world with an outlook like that!


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STLRFNS 9/6/2012 10:38PM

    Nice! And you are right - fear shouldn't stop you from being happy!

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CANDOK1260 9/6/2012 2:16PM

    emoticon for this emoticon blog

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TAMPATINK67 9/6/2012 12:56AM

    You gotta be you....

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LINDAK25 9/5/2012 10:30PM

    Your "glitter" look great!

I love this:
"Fear limits, paralyzes, slows, detracts.

Jumping takes you places. Doing opens doors. Flying sets you free.

Don't want to walk? Then dance!"

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_JODI404 9/5/2012 10:11PM

    I emoticon this blog!!

esp: FORGET about "PEOPLE" ~ SO true!

You GO girl! I hope you are loving your new piercing! emoticon

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IYA_EKUNDAYO 9/5/2012 7:23PM

    You go GIRL!
Good for you.
Stand tall, be proud!

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SUGARSMOM2 9/5/2012 3:02PM

  beat your fear what is the worst thing that could happen . you are making great process . good job . emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENGOJENGO 9/5/2012 11:37AM

  I love it! I have been wanting to do that for ages. Maybe I should....of course, going through my head is "I should wait till I lose this weight." Which is of course what your post is saying we should not think! LOL

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MILADY_LCF 9/5/2012 11:30AM

On over coming your fear and getting some new bling!

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What I've been up to

Friday, August 31, 2012

I'm still not quite back in the swing of things like I need to be, but I will. I have no doubt about that!

And while this is certainly not an excuse in anyway, I wanted to share with you what I've been working on in my Spark absence.

I decided that I want to motivate people. Not just on here. I want to help others realize that it's ok to be yourself and be proud of it - not ashamed because you aren't at "goal" yet.

I want to help others realize that we are all unique and what works for one (or doesn't) may be completely different for another. And that we should never judge someone just because they are different than us.

So, I created a website - a blog. And I want to share it with you all, because all of you helped make this possible... even if you don't think so. I just want to say thank you for giving me the confidence to do something I've always wanted to do.

I love you, Sparkers!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IYA_EKUNDAYO 9/18/2012 4:15PM

    Great Blog, congratulations for doing this.
I subscribed to it.

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5KPRINCESS 9/9/2012 10:57PM

    Congratulations on finding your niche! I will definitely be reading your blog :) Thank you for taking the time to inspire others...it only takes one person to change the lives of many!

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GRATEFUL_BEING 8/31/2012 10:06PM

  emoticon I love your writing style! I look forward to reading your work.

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LINDAK25 8/31/2012 9:22PM

    Whoa! That blog is incredible! Absolutely beautiful! I like the way you write, clear, concise and to the point.

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BOGUSANNIE 8/31/2012 4:28PM

    Wonderful!!! emoticon

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MELLIE1030 8/31/2012 4:11PM


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AMANDEES76 8/31/2012 4:03PM

    Wow, I would say that paying it forward is definitely something to be proud of and if you can even help one person love who they are that is great. Congrats on your blog, I will be checking it out.

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MLDELANGEL 8/31/2012 4:01PM

    I'm really glad you decided to do this, specially if you've always wanted to. I've missed you on SparkPeople, but I have not been on much myself. I'll be sure to check out your blog :)

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What I learned from inattention (and what it cost me)

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I disappeared, as one sparkfriend kindly pointed out to me today.

And I thank her for it.

I'm not sure exactly when I stopped logging in, and there isn't a specific reason why.

I wasn't bored. I wasn't overwhelmed. I wasn't burnt-out. I wasn't hiding.

What I WAS doing, was paying so little attention to what I was doing that I ended up doing nothing.

A month and a half ago, I was regularly tracking my water intake, regularly exercising first thing in the morning, and regularly checking/posting on SP. Of course, I didn't realize anything in the moment, but looking back this is what I've learned:

That I CAN NOT *TRUST* that I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing based on FEELING like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

What does this mean?

I got comfortable. I was doing things so well, so easy, that I got comfortable. And I stopped paying attention. And that once I stopped paying attention I slowly stopped doing things.

8 cups of water was soon 6, and soon 4.

5 days of exercise became 3, and yes, as of the last two weeks, it's been NONE.

Not logging in one day, soon became everyday.

I learned, that I have to pay attention to every thing I do, every single day. Yes, I'm a huge believer in trusting yourself, but you can't just trust that you'll do things exactly right without paying attention. Especially when it's trusting in such a new habit. Autopilot just isn't gonna cut it.

Now what did it cost me?

It cost me all of the progress I made in the prior month, gaining back all 4lbs I'd lost.

I'm more tired than I had been, lacking energy to do much of anything.

It cost me time. Now I have to start over again.

So, moral of this story?

Pay attention. Don't rely on autopilot. Or you'll be starting over eventually, too.

But this hasn't shaken my confidence. In fact, It's boosted it. I now have a much firmer grasp of what I'm doing right, and what I'm doing wrong. I know what I have to do. And that's a good place to be in.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOGUSANNIE 8/26/2012 7:11PM

    GREAT BLOG!!!!! welcome back!!!

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MBLIFE24 8/24/2012 9:29PM

    Glad you're back. :) I can identify. Whenever I do not hold myself accountable in some form or fashion, I tend to halt my progress.

I know I have repeated this a lot, but I love what I heard awhile back....it's not failure it's feedback. Now you know more about yourself, and that is empowering. :)

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LINDAK25 8/22/2012 4:41PM

    Good to see you again!

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LOLAINSC 8/22/2012 2:52PM

    Glad you are back. Every time I quit logging into SP, it was the start of a downhill slide. Auto-pilot just won't tell you when you are slipping.

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NO_SNOW_BODY 8/22/2012 10:53AM

    I can relate, I stopped tracking for a while, it was because of depression and frustration, but I suffered greatly, I gained back two years of weight loss, that sucks. But an awakening within me brought me back to reality. May you be blessed with the ability to rocket back where you were and SPARKle and shine.

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50SGRANNY 8/22/2012 10:01AM

    I can relate, as that's exactly how I disappeared the last time I disappeared. It's so easy to just stop paying attention that we can drift away before we even know what's happening. The good thing is that we are always welcome back, and we can just pick right up where we left off and, hopefully, stay on track this time.

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KATHRYN1955 8/22/2012 8:22AM

    I am glad I read this today, as I could feel myself starting to slip away again....it is such an insidious thing as it happens so gradually and before you know it, you are up 5 pounds and feeling like a slug. It isn't just lifestyle stuff, it can happen with keeping the gardens weeded, watered etc, or maintaining friendships or with housework.
Glad you are back and a very good lesson for all of us.
Here's to paying attention and staying in the present moment.

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KANOE10 8/22/2012 7:57AM

    Great blog. You are right..staying focused is a daily effort. When you don't actively focus, you can let things slip.

Welcome back and you are on the way to health.


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GRATEFUL_BEING 8/22/2012 1:38AM

  This happened to me too. Its expected I suppose just and other part of the journey. We have to be fully present in the moment. Auto pilot doesn't cut it. We recognize our mistakes and learn from them and continue on with the journey. Congrats to you for dusting yourself off and getting back to it. I'm proud of you!

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MLDELANGEL 8/21/2012 11:44PM

    Welcome back!!!!

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BLUE42DOWN 8/21/2012 11:34PM

    emoticon back!

Such a great lesson learned - that what you were doing when you were paying attention was the right things to be doing!

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CASSIOEPIA 8/21/2012 10:39PM

    Welcome back!

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KATEINMICHIGAN 8/21/2012 10:09PM

    Yuuuuup. I hear ya.

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The Disturbing Realities of the Food Industry

Saturday, July 14, 2012

I've always been interested in reading about food- how it's made, where it comes from, what happens to it before it hits the grocery stores, etc. And the more I read about food and the way our society is (not just with food, but with health in general), the more alarmed I get.

Compare YOUR childhood to that of today's children and you begin to get a picture of what I'm talking about.

Tag vs MarioKart

Campouts vs sugar-filled indoor sleepovers

walking to school vs never being allowed outside alone

Regardless of how valid an action (or lack of action) might be, it's still contributing to this horrible obesity epidemic that the world is in.

So, I was quite please to find something online a few weeks ago.

Did you know that Yale University (and many others including MIT and Stanford) offers free online versions of actual classes taught on campus?

Ok, so you can't get credit for them, turn in work, speak to the professors, or anything like that... but if you're a knowledge hog like me (or want to experience multiple random topics free of charge and free of committment) then these courses are JACKPOT!

I haven't looked into all of the schools, but the Yale course I'm following is pretty simple. You buy the books (or get them at the library for free like I did), watch the videos and follow along, doing assignments if you wish. The videos are simply recordings of the actual professor, teaching a class of actual students.

So anyway, onto the absolutely wonderful thing I found - a class on the food industry and obesity.

It's PSYC 123: The Psychology, Biology and Politics of Food
Here's the Open Yale Course link if you're interested. oyc.yale.edu/psychology/psyc-123#ove

To view other course offerings, click "Courses" in the top left corner and it will show you all the free course offerings.

Anyway, I've just begun. I watched one class and am most of the way through chapter 1 of one of the books Food Fight: The Inside Story of the Food Industry, America's Obesity Crisis, and What We Can Do About It by Kelly D Brownell (The other book is called In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan).

What have I learned so far?

* One fourth of all vegetables consumed in the US are french fries.

* Obesity now contributes more to chronic illness and health care costs than does smoking.

*Ronald McDonald is the second most recognized figure in the world, topped only by Santa Claus.

That is exceedingly alarming to me! And I'm not even done with the first chapter yet!

Another thing really bugs me.

People often quote statistics regarding how often people regain weight, regardless of how much they lost.

X percent of people regain all the weight they lost or more.

Who cares? I mean really? Think about it.

All that statement tells me is "It's a waste of time. Don't bother."

What we really should be focusing on is:

x percent of those who adopt and stick to a healthy lifestyle succeed.x percent of those who do not, don't.

When I hear that first statistic, what I want to ask is:

"Were they 'dieting' and quit when they reached their goal weight?"
"Did they focus only on pounds/inches/fat/calories and ignore the reasons they got overweight to begin with?"
"Were they eating real food (not packaged diet food) and living an active life (not just exercising for an hour 3x a week and not moving the rest of the time)?"

I don't care HOW MANY people fail at losing weight - I care WHY.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RISA87 7/29/2012 9:24AM

    Thanks for the info!

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KATD13 7/29/2012 1:02AM

    Loved this blog! There are plenty of horrible, nasty things going on in the food industry. You might not ever be able to eat, if you knew what was happening.

I will have to check out those online courses. They sound really interesting.

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SHARON10002 7/16/2012 5:27PM

    emoticonblog, and good point!

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5KPRINCESS 7/15/2012 6:29PM

    WOW!!! I loved your blog! I am an "info sponge/self-proclaimed nerd" myself...I wouldn't mind checking out the books/class. We rarely eat out for the simple fact that I control what goes into my food if I prepare it myself. If we do go out, it is never fast food and I do my online reseach before we venture out. Thank you so much for the information :) GO WAVE RUNNERS!!!

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HEALTHYGRAMMY49 7/15/2012 4:04PM


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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 7/14/2012 11:12PM

    Thank you so much for the fantastic blog and the link! I love those books and have read them. Applying the lessons to real life is more of a challenge, but the books make a lot of sense and have changed my daily choices.

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LDRICHEL 7/14/2012 7:51PM

    I highly recommend the book, "The End of Overeating". It will open your eyes to the food industry like you wouldn't believe. Warning: you'll never see things the same again when you go out to a restaurant.

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GRATEFUL_BEING 7/14/2012 4:32PM

  Well said!! Thank you for the info on the course. It sounds great!

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CANDOK1260 7/14/2012 4:31PM

    great blog thanks for the link. i always wonder if you loss weight and then regain it back would you have gain more weight if you hVN;T LOSS IT IN THE FIRST PLAST. JUST WONDERING

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BOGUSANNIE 7/14/2012 4:27PM

    great blog....thanks for the link

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The Fog Has Lifted

Friday, July 13, 2012

So after I posted my last blog, I decided "wth, might as well get up and move now."

And I did.

I found a cardio video on Netflix and managed 13 whole minutes of it. It felt good to move, but I was huffing much harder than I should be and just felt that 13 minutes was plenty lol.

Then I resumed my PuP schedule.

It was hard.

REAL hard.

After waiting over a week between sets, I lost progress that I had made. Note to self: Do not do THAT again.

Wednesday I went a little more calm, doing 35 minutes of Pilates and swimming for an hour. Oh that felt gooooooood!

Thursday was my "active rest day" as part of the Rock It! Done Girls challenge. I went to the pool with the kids. No major cardio, but I did do some gentle underwater stretching, and toning moves.

And yesterday we again went to the pool... for over 2 hours (although one and a half of those hours was spent sunning in a chair and reading this fabulous book I found at the library. More on that below).

And today I did a bit of Zumba. And by a bit I mean a cruel 14 minutes and 44 seconds.

Don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I adore Zumba. I heart it. It's fun, it's energetic, and it's full of spicy Latinness. (IMO, if it's not Latin music, it's NOT Zumba, but that's a whole different post lol).


I suck at it.

At least now, I do.

See it wasn't always like that. Several years ago when I discovered Zumba while attending a gym, I could do it. I couldn't do everything, and it took me a couple tries, and I huffed and puffed like nobodies business..... but I could do it. I found that I could, many times, intuitively guess what they were going to do next and my feet just did it. Course I sure didn't LOOK like the instructor, my moves didn't have much latin feel to them lol.

But now....

It's rough! But I figured out the secret, I did! It's trusting your body to do what you tell it to do. See, I don't trust my foot. Haven't trusted it since I started walking again. I am constantly aware of what it's doing, where it's stepping, what it's stepping on, what could possibly interfere... I am terrified of twisting/spraining/breaking it again.

Positively terrified.

Which doesn't combine well with Zumba. (oh and this was the first time I've tried Zumba since way before the accident). Unless your trained in dance (and probably even then) you have to stop thinking and just do it. Trust your body.

So, now I know what I have to work on. Trusting my foot... and keeping it healthy so that I CAN trust it. Easy peasy right?? lol

And as for that book I mentioned, it's called Perfect Weight by Deepak Chopra.

It's not your typical weight loss book... infact, you can hardly even call it a weight loss book. It's more of a mind/body balance book, where if you achieve that balance, your weight naturally aligns to what it should be for YOU (as opposed to generalized BMI scales, your neighbor, or a fitness mag).

For those dedicated to traditional Western medicince, this book might feel a bit "out there" .... but it's essentially describing what I have always felt (without being able to put words to it) that this journey should be like.

I loathe counting calories and I feel that it's unnatural. I have always felt that if you eat good, fresh food until your full and not stuffed and get your butt up and sweat several times a week, you don't need to count calories.

Stay away from the boxed, chemical, lab created crap and you don't need to count calories. I've always felt this way. But it's not always that easy with lives the way they are these days. I mean, what % of people are going to go home on their hour lunch and cook a fresh meal? from scratch. I'd wager "not many".

But regardless, I am completely in love with this book (I've always loved stuff by Chopra) and I have a distinctly annoying cramp in my left hand from all the notes I've taken since this is a library book. ( yes, I'm old school... I love the feel of writing with a pencil.)

Anyway, so that's what I've been up to lately. Hope everyone is enjoying their Friday the 13th!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DHUNTER49 7/20/2012 12:39PM

    you are so going to get there....trusting in your body...i know you can do it!

I actually teach zumba 6 times a week and I also love love love it! I think you are absolutely onto something when you say you just have to go with it. The minute you over think it is when all goes awry!

all the best with your journey emoticon

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GRATEFUL_BEING 7/14/2012 4:05PM

  So happy to see your better! That book sounds great. I'm getting anxious about our book club reading," Savor". I hoping we can resume that soon.

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5KPRINCESS 7/14/2012 9:46AM

    Glad to see you're up and around again, Kim! I just started the whole Zumba thing, too...I really like it! Although I started it on my Wii, I am eventually going to join the classes at the gym. Gotta start somewhere, right??? I really liked your post...you have such a great attitude :) Keep doing what you're doing and you WILL succeed! Go Wave Runners!!!

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DSJB9999 7/14/2012 1:55AM

    I love zumba too! Okay so I can't do all the moves but you just have to smile!

I will try to get that book too or anything by Chopra, sounds useful.

I am trying to be more positive and keep moving while trying to be kind to myself. My fog has lifted too.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/14/2012 1:55:55 AM

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LINDAK25 7/13/2012 9:58PM

    Good to see you're feeling better! Zumba looks like fun, but I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time. It takes me a long time to catch on to dance routines. I figure I'll keep on tracking what I eat. Once I get to a weight my body is happy with then on work on mind/body balance.

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BLUEFAIRYTALE 7/13/2012 3:37PM

  Glad you are up and moving as well, I know it's tough when you haven't been feeling well, but you did it, worked hard and had an active rest day. I'm having mine today and I'm going swimming too. That book looks like a good one! I agree with the body/mind/balance thing. Have great Friday emoticon emoticon

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CELIAMINER 7/13/2012 2:27PM

    Glad you are up and moving, but please be gentle with yourself. If you need to baby yourself for awhile, then do it. Thinking of you!

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BOGUSANNIE 7/13/2012 2:10PM

    I will have to check that book out. looks interesting.

I am terrified of Zumba!! I think all you Zumba peeps are awesome!

I broke my ankle 4 years ago and I still don't trust it...so I know what you mean...

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