Monday, August 18, 2014
Weigh in 173.4 (+.6) The more excuses I make (I don't have time to exercise, I'm stressed, I'm moving, I have shin splints, etc.), the more my results decrease. Well, at least I still fit into the smallest size in my closet. I'm sure working out would help with the stress, but I feel so crunched for time, and besides I'm resting my shin splints. Elliptical or spin bike would be ok, but boring.
I'm closing on the house tomorrow (Tues), and moving on Sat.
I got a disturbing call yesterday. A relative (someone who hurt me in the past) is doing a 12-step, and called to make amends. This is someone who cut off contact with me, even though I reached out several years ago. She was telling me now how strong I am, and she's so sorry, and all these emotions bubbled up out some dark place in me. I told her I don't need her validation, I don't trust her, I don't need her, and I think she's insincere. She couldn't even remember the names of my children. Do your homework before you call to make amends.
I don't want to hold a grudge. Because that's like giving free rental space in my head. So I compartmentalize. Imagine I escort her into a lovely waiting room, point out the water cooler, the coffee urn, a pile of magazines, and ask her to wait here, I'm busy right now, I'll be with her when I'm ready.
Because this phone call triggered some eating when I wasn't hungry. I was falling back to old habits. When I realized the irony of someone else's addition triggering my own addiction (to food), I could get a handle on it.