Monday, September 12, 2011
My self esteem used to be in the toilet. Even in high school when I had lots of friends and had a great time hanging out with them, I was the fat one, the one with the pimply face, the one wearing the baggy black clothing... ugh I try to forget about that. Never in a million years did I think I'd be confident enough to smile, wear my hair back, and even go out in public without makeup. But really, I never thought that I'd EVER feel attractive.
So I found Brad and he loved me but my self esteem was still very low. It was hard for me to imagine someone finding me attractive and loving me.
I found Spark and totally turned my life around. I am so different from the girl I used to be - I look at people now, smile more, and wear much better-fitting clothing (my mom actually found this funny the other weekend when we went shopping - she commented on how I used to wear such big baggy things and now I was wearing more fitted clothing and it looked good). My self esteem is (most days) pretty high... and today it totally skyrocketed.
- one of the kindergarten teachers told me how pretty I looked today. I love being called pretty.
- the kids at school commented on my nice nails (OPI Big Apple Red - I LOVE this color) and my dress (a cute purple shirt dress - fitted!). And I teach K-2 - they don't lie. They tell you if your hair looks funny and ask you "what is that?" as they point to a giant zit on your forehead.
- Brad called me from work to ask if I got the money for the contractor and said to me "is he there yet? I don't want you there alone with him for very long."
The last one is really what this blog is about. The contractor. Only a couple years ago, I would see someone who looked like the contractor and freeze up. No eye contact, no smiling, I probably wouldn't have even hired him because I was afraid that he was looking at how fat and nasty I was. But now? He came to the house over the summer to give an estimate, and there was no self-consciousness. I smiled, I made eye contact, and I did lots of giggling and flirting (I guess it was, I don't even remember how to flirt!). And I think this got us a pretty good deal on our siding. We got a nice cash discount and I felt like I could ask for things because I gave him a smile.
So anyway, it's not like in a million years anything would ever happen - I'd be a fool - but it was really nice to feel like Brad was worried about me and the contractor being alone! And ladies, this is one sexy contractor. Today he was working in his cutoff shorts and his muscle shirt, and I think I caught myself staring more than once at his biceps. Ha!
So shallow? Yeah, a little, but I think I saved us some cash because of my self esteem. So I guess getting healthy is good for lots of stuff. It felt so good to come home today and not have to worry about sucking it in just because the contractor was here. It felt good just to feel good in my own skin and not have to think I had to change anything to make myself presentable to anyone else.
I am totally worth it.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
I don't know if this is cheating or not, but I am counting today's cleaning and marathon cooking session as my cardio. I had cardio scheduled on my calendar... it looks like I'm going to have to schedule in some more rest days since I'm really working hard on my strength training days.
So I was in the kitchen all day today, making food for the week. I love having good food ready to go for dinner and lunch.
Even managed to sneak in a nap today!
Not much else to report...
Friday, September 09, 2011
I loooooooooove Fridays!
I love my job, I LOVE my kiddos, but I looooooooooove Fridays.
Last night was parent orientation - it's nice to see parents I know and it's nice to meet new parents. One of the moms told me that music is her daughter's favorite class (yay!) and I had a grandpa tell me that his grandson likes me a lot. K-2 is the best age group!!! I am so lucky to have the job I do.
I have a date tonight! (Don't worry, I'm not cheating on my hubby!) One of the girls at school was asking me about my gym, and she's going to join. I had a coupon for a friend to have their initiation fee waived, so we're going tonight after school so she can join without the fee! She is really good about getting to the gym after school, so I told her we are going to have to have regular after-school gym dates so I can get there when I don't go in the morning. It will be nice to have a gym buddy again!
Today was an amazing morning (and it's not even 7am!). I woke up before my alarm (but only by 10 minutes, so it was actually really nice!), I went down on the scale (which means my power-out-saltiness is going away), and my new shoes fit perfectly. And that's a good thing because they were final sale and non-returnable. Have to get those sandals in before it gets too cold!
How stinkin' cute are those?!?!?
Off to pack my lunch and have my breakfast! Have a super day!
Thursday, September 08, 2011
5:00 am is early. Almost ridiculously early. But 5:00 is the best time for me to get up - I can have my coffee and Spark before I go to the gym. I have plenty of time after the gym to get ready for school. And Lord knows I won't go to the gym after school, so I don't have any other choice but to get up at 5:00.
I love my morning time. It's so quiet and I like thinking that I'm one of the few people who are awake at this hour. Ok, maybe not as few as I think, but it sure does seem quieter in general at 5:00.
The thing about my school schedule that's tough, though, is that Brad comes home after I'm already in bed, and he is still in bed when I leave for school. Sometimes we go days without seeing each other awake. But we leave little notes for each other and we make it work.
Yesterday I didn't do my scheduled workout. I was so darn tired after school that I changed into my sweats, did a few things to get ready for today, and that was about it. I'm almost totally ok with it. I unfortunately underestimated the tiredness I'd feel at the end of the day...
- I noticed a more defined muscle in my leg yesterday!
- I've had lots of energy at school!
- I got a shipping refund on my shelf! (I bought a shelf based on the measurements, and the posted measurements didn't reflect the actual size. Weird. So I e-mailed the company and asked if they would refund the shipping fee because of this. And they did! Yahoo!)
- Drink all my water earlier than I did yesterday so I'm not guzzling water right before bed.
- Stay positive during Parent Orientation. It's going to be a long night, and I don't present anything to the parents, so it's kind of boring. But I'm going to keep a smile on my face. Besides, we're going out for sushi in between school and orientation! Yum!
Have a super day!
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
I am totally exhausted. These kiddos wear me out!
Today was good on the eating front. I had a good lunch, drank lots of water (I still have some to drink tonight, though) and got some errands done after school. But my scheduled cardio workout? I'm going to throw it away tonight. I am SOOOOO tired and I can't even bear the thought of doing anything other than getting my stuff ready for tomorrow.
And to make the annoyance even worse, I ordered a shelf from Target and the measurements of the shelf don't match the measurements from the website. So now I have to deal with returning it and trying to get my shipping back. Ugh.
Ok, off to try to figure out what I'm going to take for lunch tomorrow.
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