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It's a Fat Day.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

So over the summer and the fall, I've put on about 5-10 pounds (depending on the day). It doesn't sound *so* bad, but it's just enough to make my pants uncomfortable, my self-esteem much lower, and my mood pretty crappy. Especially today. I put on a pair of pants that used to be almost too big, and they are no longer anywhere CLOSE to being too big. Ugh. 5-10 pounds?!?!? WTH

So anyway, I snapped at Brad this morning because I felt fat. I blamed it on the computer, but then I ended up telling him I felt fat. So the wonderful man that he is, he told me that he was going to take care of me and that he would make me dinner tonight instead of us going out to eat.

And I also feel bad because I didn't go to the gym yesterday, and I didn't go this morning. So I'm going after school today for a little run.

So here are some good things:

My sleep has been FANTASTIC.

Brad has been packing me really good, healthy lunches to take to school.

I am narrowing down my ideas for my future career path. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this, and I think I'd like to go further into early childhood education.

Off to an early faculty meeting... our superintendent is going to be there, so I want to make sure I'm early!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNERRACHEL 10/30/2011 12:58PM

    Yeah, I understand. Sorry to hear that.

It's a cycle. We don't feel good so we are crabby and then don't feel motivated to do things that would make us feel better.

When you're feeling low, do something good for yourself.

Don't beat yourself up for those 5-10 pounds. They'll be gone before you know it. Just focus on feeling good and doing kind things for yourself and taking care of yourself. Sounds like Brad is being very supportive. That's so great to have that kind of support!

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MARIAGRACE111 10/27/2011 1:30PM

    Boo for fat days.
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Hooray for an awesome hubby, great sleep, healthy lunches, and a clearer vision of your future!
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Those pounds will drop off soon enough. In the meantime, wear what you feel best in. If anything, those pants will be a good measurement tool. Make it a great day!

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CAMROLA 10/27/2011 11:59AM

    I'm in the same boat, and it IS frustrating, and it DOES affect how we see other things. What I love is that you acknowledge it, are taking steps to get back on track, and finding positives elsewhere, because it's ALL related. You ARE doing well and will get back on track and have great support system and so many positive things to look ahead to--I'd call that a PHAT day, given it's changed in tune already!

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JUDYFRANCE 10/27/2011 9:03AM

    I can relate. I've done the same thing since my hysterectomy last Feb. I've been ever-so-slowly watching the scale rise. Regardless of my eating habits and the fact that I go to the gym and do vigorous workouts almost every day. I'm so frustrated I can't even find the motivation to blog about it!

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LALAFLOWERS 10/27/2011 8:29AM

    You know that on most people 10lbs is a pants size... right? No wonder you're not feeling it.. when your clothes don't fit well, you don't feel you look good. So, you get down about it.. look for ways to cheer your self up, and when that backfires... you know the circle.

I'm glad you could be honest about why you snapped... that's a hard one to admit to. I know you'll get back on track, and do great. Snacks at school, and good meals will help you along the way back to fitting your clothes.

HUGS.

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CHEPRBYTHEDOZN 10/27/2011 7:26AM

    Poor Carrie!!! I TOTALLY hear you on the '5-10' lbs...My Wii said only 3.3 since the last time I was on...that was at the beginning of the school year.
So, don't be hard on yourself-you know what to do AND a huge bonus is that lovin' man of yours~that is soooo sweet of him!You are very blessed.
Have an awesome day,Carrie!!!

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This week...

Monday, October 24, 2011

I have a nice variety of workouts planned this week. Back to yoga and stretch class, and I'll keep going with the ST, running, and swimming. Yesterday morning honey and I drove out to a really neat place called Boulder Field (if you are northeast PA and haven't ever been there, I highly recommend it. It's amazing!). Boulder Field is, literally, a field of boulders. There is no grass in between the boulders... it's so fun to walk on! I got a great workout yesterday just from walking on all the rocks trying to keep my balance.

My eating is still improving. Honey has been cooking some amazing meals for me, and I don't feel the need to snack on huge snacks in between meals. I can always improve on the amount of water I'm drinking...

I decided to add a different kind of focus for this week... I'm going to not gossip the whole week. And the baby step is that I become aware of when I'm gossiping. I feel like I've been doing a lot of gossiping at school lately, and I don't really like it. I'll see how I feel after this week.

Off to the pool... have a super day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BE-THE-CHANGE 10/25/2011 8:26PM

    Good goal - I need to work on that at my job.

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PILLOWFOOL 10/25/2011 12:57AM

    hope your week is fantastic!

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COOPSM 10/24/2011 5:42PM

    Sounds like a great plan!!!! have a great week...

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CHEPRBYTHEDOZN 10/24/2011 9:56AM

    sounds like a great week ahead of you! not gossiping is always a work in progress for me.
as far as hubby making amazing meals: would he adopt me and my brood? he'd only have to 'double' the recipe by 5 or 6...that just reminds me that I have NO menu planned for this week. UGH!
the field of boulders sounds interesting~~~

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BILLALEX70 10/24/2011 6:11AM

    Have a great week!

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LOSINGITALL4ME 10/24/2011 6:10AM

    I love the new goal you added this week about not gossiping. I think that is so easy to fall into and impacts you negatively. You always inspire me to do better with your blogs. I appreciate you sharing your goals. Sounds like a great way to exercise by climbing those boulders. Have a great week!

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It's a wonderful thing!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I can't believe it's been almost a week since I've blogged! But it's for a good reason - hubby and I have been spending some amazing quality time together! I LOVE love love having him at home. It's been so wonderful for my diet, my fitness, and other reasons on which I shall not expound.

This morning we went up to the local state park and did a hike in the woods. Tomorrow we are going out to another state park for some more hiking. We had really delicious, healthy meals today. I am drinking more water at home. I'm eating less junk. I am happier! I'm not obsessing over school - I am able to leave school at school. I didn't even realize how much I was thinking about school at home until recently. It's so nice to have fun weekends back, and relaxing evenings.

This coming week is going to be great! I am back to yoga on Tuesday (hooray!) and I will get to the gym in the morning before school. I am able to wake up early so much more easily now that Brad and I are going to sleep at the same time. We went to bed super early last night (before 10:00!) and today we were both up before 7! It's so nice to have the same schedule. I am just glowing. :)

Off to have some homemade chocolate pudding and a glass of water.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PILLOWFOOL 10/25/2011 12:55AM

    yay for time with your hubby!

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CHEPRBYTHEDOZN 10/22/2011 10:53PM

    SWEET!!!! so glad you're doing so well.
Now, about that 'glowing'...... emoticon???? I have to insinuate and ask b/c I want to pass on the torch! My childbearing days are nearing the end(I kind of hope so, anyway) so I want to be sure that Rookie Runners are multiplying. LOL!!!
I LOVED reading this blog-

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BE-THE-CHANGE 10/22/2011 6:57PM

    emoticon

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swimswimswimswim

Monday, October 17, 2011

It's time for my morning swim. I think it's time for me to add on another day or two of working out each week. I also think it's time for me to hide the scale for a little bit. I know I know I know that weight doesn't just fall off when you start eating better, but I just can't accept that. I've been eating better for almost two weeks! Why haven't I lost any weight? Ha!

I can't say that my pants are fitting any better yet, but I can say that my sleeping has been SOOOOO much better. Regular exercise, better food, less stress - yesterday I got up at 5:30 without the alarm! On a Sunday?!?!?! Crazy. But I got lots done and it felt good.

I've been snacking less, and I even find myself more positive. I am happier, I am friendlier... and one positive is that I didn't have to buy all new pants just because of my little gain. I caught it in time! (Thank goodness school started - I think if I'd have gone another month wearing summer skirts and shorts I would have definitely needed to buy new pants - those summer skirts sure are stretchy!)

So today's plan:

- swim!
- school! And while I'm there, I'm going to drink lots of water.
- home!

That's about it.

On an unrelated note, I ran a race on Saturday and discovered something about myself. There were three of us running together; we decided to stick together during the race. I discovered that I just don't like running together during a race. During a training is only OK, but I would much rather have been by myself during the race. I don't know why - I love talking to these people, I just don't like it during a run. I guess I prefer to be alone with my thoughts. Plus, I think I would have listened to my body more and not have caused my IT Band so much pain. Lesson learned.

Off to the gym... Happy Monday!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNERRACHEL 10/22/2011 3:00PM

    Congrats on looking at all the positives! Everything sounds good! You're doing such an amazing job!

I know what you mean about enjoying running alone, with your thoughts. Next time you'll know what you like and what you don't!

All the best to you!

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LYNNANN43 10/17/2011 11:25AM

    I SOOOOOOOOOOOO wish I had somewhere to swim!!!!

And I agree with you. I really enjoy other on a training run, but not for races.

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CHELLES_BELLS 10/17/2011 9:47AM

    Sorry about your IT Band... those are the worst. But, I am seriously jealous of your swim time. I really need to get back in to the pool asap.

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CHEPRBYTHEDOZN 10/17/2011 8:18AM

    Have an Awesome day!!!!

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COOPSM 10/17/2011 7:16AM

    Carrie---Happy Monday to you!!! I need to get my weight under control...hoping that getting back to running will do it!!! Enjoy that swim!!!

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No more lies!!!

Friday, October 14, 2011

I keep telling myself some things that just aren't true. And those little lies are why I gained back about eight pounds and why I'm so uncomfortable in my pants.

- I run, so I can eat what I want. Truth is, I haven't run regularly since, oh, the spring. But yet I somehow convince myself that I run a lot, so I can eat that extra piece of cake.

- I eat very healthy! I *do* eat healthy (sometimes), but nothing close to "very" as of late. While Brad was working crazy hours and I was stressed out, I was going out to eat SO MUCH. And not eating good stuff, I didn't even care what it was. Chinese, fried chicken, pizza, pizza, pizza, large hoagies and chips... and this was becoming the norm for me.

- I am a gym rat! I used to be - I haven't started the next section of The New Rules... workout, and I don't even have a plan to do that.

- My pants are shrinking! Ha. This is just total BS.

So what am I going to do about this? I can't stand it. I'm really bummed out that I let this happen, and I'm really disappointed in myself. But that's not going to get rid of the flab. ACTION is going to get rid of the flab!

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The eating is already improving since Brad's been home. He has dinner ready for me so I don't have to stop somewhere on the way home. This is HUGE! Also, he's been packing me healthy lunches and snacks for school. Snacks at school are actually a huge problem for me. I make up excuse after excuse about why I should have a snack at school, when I'm hardly EVER hungry for a snack. Time to get back to mindful eating...

Working out (and eating) - This coming Tuesday is our last CSA pickup for the season. While I love to get the veggies, this year has been a little bit rough. I decided that I'd pick up the veggies on Tuesday instead of Friday. This didn't work out as well as I'd hoped - Tuesday night turned out to be the WORST night to pick up veggies! I missed my yoga class all summer, it took a night out of my schedule for doctor's appointments, and the veggies basically sat around all week until we could deal with them on the weekend. Next year it's back to a Friday pickup.
So my point is this. Now that the veggie thing is over, I can get back to Tuesday night yoga, and I'll use the time in between school and yoga to run. When I'm ready, I'd like to go back to the running club one day a week.

More working out - I just have to get my arse out of bed and go to the gym. I LOVE morning workouts. Swimming is a great "rest day" workout for me... it's low-impact, and I only have to go for 20 minutes if I want an easy little workout. I'd like to start adding swimming back into my schedule on my "off day."


So there you have it. Already this morning I've told myself "no, you don't need a graham cracker. You are going to Starbucks and wouldn't you like to actually *enjoy* a treat?" (Because I don't really want to *give up* anything, I am going to focus on eating mindfully and deciding if I really want something or not. And I really want a pumpkin spice latte.) I didn't snack yesterday - I was so busy that I didn't have time. Which made me realize that "huh, if you stay busy, you won't think you're hungry." Because really, I wasn't hungry. Sure, by the time I got home I was SOOOO hungry, but Brad had a meal ready for me so I didn't have to shove my face full of raisins, bread and hummus BEFORE dinner.

It's Friday!!!! Yahooooooooo!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BE-THE-CHANGE 10/15/2011 9:58AM

    emoticon

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BILLALEX70 10/15/2011 6:03AM

    I saw the funniest FB thing awhile back. It said "calories are evil creatures that come into your house at night and shrink your clothes!"

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PILLOWFOOL 10/15/2011 4:51AM

    oooooh, don't I know it! {hugs} we can do this!!!

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WATERMELLEN 10/14/2011 5:14PM

    Very familiar to me too: and I just have to face it, I can never exercise enough to eat whatever I want. Not possible.

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JOPAPGH 10/14/2011 1:59PM

    I hear you.

Even with lots of running, I've still gained.

After my marathon next weekend, it's time to focus on 10 unwanted pounds

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BOBBYD31 10/14/2011 1:46PM

    i did the same thing this year only to realize that i was not working out at all! i already had the 20 from giving up tobacco but added another 6, so yea i hear ya! my goal is to have all 26 gone by JASR, about 5lbs a month

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LYNNANN43 10/14/2011 12:10PM

    Climbing out of my lies to myself too. Sounds like we both need lots more mindfulness.

Best of luck with all of your goals and your 5K!!!!!

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GONE2014 10/14/2011 10:39AM

    October 1st I recommitted. Sounds like you are doing that now. It's not what you've done in the past it's how you move forward. I see you heading in the right direction!

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CHELLES_BELLS 10/14/2011 9:55AM

    Girl, I am in the SAME boat as you. All that you listed, those are the lies I've been telling myself on a regular basis since my half in August. I'm trying my best to slowly get in the groove with tracking and consistent workouts. I might even sign myself up for private swim lessons just so someone can yell at me. Right now, I cant be accountable for myself.

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JUDIL62 10/14/2011 9:03AM

    It's not fair how those bad habits can sneak back into your routine so easily. I find the same thing with me. Start fresh and don't dismantle all the hard work you have put into it. Seems like you are approaching it right, being mindful of what you eat.

We can do this! don't every give up. emoticon

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RUNNERRACHEL 10/14/2011 9:02AM

    Yeah, it's great that you reassessed your actions and put everything out in the open!

I used to do that. I worked out so I *get* to eat that...but whatever I was eating had so many more calories than what I actually burned. So that mentality is not beneficial.

I need healthy snacks to get me through the day. How nice that someone helps you with that and makes dinner! That must help a lot. Mindful eating is important as well.

All the best to you. You've taken an honest evaluation of what you're doing and what you need to do. Now, you'll be able to make it happen! emoticon

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CHEPRBYTHEDOZN 10/14/2011 8:25AM

    I just started climbing out of my pit of excuses,too! I slipped off the eating clean wagon. (remember that blog of mine that you printed out?) Well, I'm trying to get back into the groove. I haven't been able to run since the end of August so I keep saying, "when I can run again,I'lllose this flab." Well, I don't know when that will be so I've got to grab hold of myself! Eating is 80% of the problem anyway..
so-high 5 on getting back into things! Little steps in the right direction and you'll shed those 8 lbs. That's how much I'm shooting for ,too. I have no scale but when my jeans get too baggy, I know I'll be there. :)
Hope your weekend is AWESOME!

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HIKINGLEAH 10/14/2011 7:07AM

    I've been there. Telling myself - this is ok and that is ok. Justifying and making little lies that keep me stuck in old habits. I still do it with food. Exercise I've been pretty consistent with, but something about eating - when it is in front you or you are starving, it is easy to just say, "I worked out today, it's ok." And then get confused when you don't lose any weight.

Good luck getting back on track. emoticon

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