CARILOUIE   83,599
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A lifetime of fat

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Last night I was talking with my fiance who has been so incredibly supportive of me on SparkPeople. He's been cooking wonderful healthy meals for me, and getting really excited about my running and other workouts. Our conversation somehow got onto the topic of my upcoming 5K, and we were joking about my time, and he said something along the lines of "Don't worry, I won't laugh when you cross the finish line." It was a joke and I *know* this; we had been joking around about my time and everything. But something about that comment just brought back these horrible memories of when I was younger. I was never *fat* fat, but I was overweight enough that I couldn't run as fast as everyone else, I couldn't wear the hand-me-downs that everyone else could, I wasn't playing sports in high school, etc etc. Last night really made me realize how much being overweight was kind of a part of me. Before I started really changing my lifestyle, all those feelings kind of got pushed back.
I remember (very clearly) dieting when I was in middle school, feeling horrible when I went shopping with my friend (in 2nd grade!) and a 7th comment from someone who is now a very good friend of mine - something about "at least I don't have a roll." Now that my lifestyle is SO different than it was, I really have thought about some of those comments and experiences. Being overweight was a horrible experience for me.

But on a happy note, I ran last night. I did a treadmill 5K! I ran 1 mile, and thought "Well I'll just keep going." So I ran 2 miles, and then I thought "Well I might as well go for the 5K." And I did it. I am so excited that I can actually run. One of the girls at school said I was "wasting away to nothing," which I think is not really the best choice of words, but oh well. I'll take it over "you are really growing into something big!" Tonight will be a swimming night at the gym, I think. My tootsies need some time off from running. The PTA is providing lunch for the teachers today for Appreciation Week at school, but I am going to take a lunch anyway. I'll check out the spread and decide whether or not I need to eat *my* lunch or if I can manage to find something from the PTA.
It's about that time to head off to school. Have a Sparky Day!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOSEPHINE1231 5/5/2009 10:09PM

    Be proud. YOu have done wonderful. Interesting, I just posted on my team on a book I was reading, and shared some personal memories of me and being young. I wasn't exactly "fat", but I sure wasn't as thin as the rest of my classmates. I remember that when I was 16 my mother went to the doctor and got diet pills for herself and then gave them to me. I got my weight down to 126 pounds. Fifty years later, and I remember that number. I married Kenny, had a two babies one year apart, and never have seen that number again.

So good for you, do make the healthy changes at a young age.


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EATNBOOGERS 5/5/2009 12:28PM

    Big hugs.... that sounds awful (the comments and experiences growing up).

One thing I like about running is the "Wow, I can't believe I actually *ran* x distance!"

All your swimming reminds me that I really need to get off my butt and start working that into my routine.

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_CORTNIE 5/5/2009 9:54AM

    My life has been fatty, as well. I don't remember myself ever being 'thin'. Thin for me is a size 12, and I'm happy with that to be honest. I can't WAIT to be that again and be out of these 26s. But when I was that, I wasn't eating anything ever. Take the comments in the most positive light. Waste away girl, you just waste away! I can't wait to waste away to nothing! emoticon

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RUBYSNANA 5/5/2009 8:39AM

    I am sorry that you were hurt old memories. It is not always easy to let go of our old "body images" and past hurtful remarks, but somehow we need to learn to do just that. We have to remind ourselves that who we are now, on this day, at this time is what is important. We have to leave behind the past because we can't change that, and we need to recognize our new selves-happy, healthy, and active role models for those around us. Keep up the great work! emoticon

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Hooray for May!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

So I ran the entire distance of a 5K this morning with my running group. Unfortunately, I didn't have a watch on so I didn't know what my time was. This week's plan is to get a sport watch/ heart rate monitor so I can start working towards some running goals. When I got back to the starting point after the whole distance, I was just amazed that i actually did it. Today is a strong-feeling day.
My fiance's parents are coming to visit tomorrow so I have been cleaning like crazy. Thought it would be a good time to get some spring cleaning done. I got a good workout doing it, since I moved a chair upstairs and switched beds in two rooms.
I am signing up for two more 5Ks at the end of the month. My brother is going to run in one with me, and I think a friend from school is running in the other one. I *still* can't believe how much I enjoy this running thing.
Happy Saturday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATNBOOGERS 5/2/2009 4:58PM

    I'm back to my old habit of using my analog watch to time myself (since I returned the HRM). I think a cheap digital watch would probably do the trick for me (I'm not into the last second and *laps*, just overall splits and progress). I have to say, though, that paying attention to the time *does* help push toward moving faster. I also like doing intervals.... I pick up the pace for a minute (or 1:15 or the killer 1:30--I can't even contemplate 2 minute intervals at this point) and then slow to a slow jog when it's over (I think I'd walk after the 2 minute ones). I think for these you're supposed to be aiming for 70% or 80% or something like that of your *maximum* effort (max effort = sprinting, I'd say), but basically I just try to run as fast as I can keep up for a minute (or a minute and a half). ;-)

I'm feeling kind of weak today. I was weeding, and my hands can barely move now. And I couldn't help my husband get the aerator back into the back of our Forester, so we had to get a neighbor to help (it was SO heavy).

I love running, too. I realize that I'm not a fast runner, but you're right--there's something about it that makes *me* feel strong, too. :-)

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Attack of the Jax

Thursday, April 30, 2009

So I went grocery shopping tonight and I am usually very very good at resisting the snack aisle. But tonight for some reason I was really craving a salty snack with absolutely NO nutritional value. So I went for the cheese curls. I got home and could not control myself. I ended up eating about 1/2 the bag. ARGH. I wasn't going to enter it into the nutrition tracker, but I did anyway. Ends up that I stayed within my range of stuff today, but I still feel like crap. I don't know what got into me (other than 1/2 a bag of Jax). So I promptly went to the gym and ran a mile, did a lot of upper body and core stuff, and biked hard for 15 minutes. Damn Jax.
I have been at a weight-loss plateau for a few weeks now. I am getting a little frustrated. Why is it so much easier to tell *other* people that a plateau is normal, but when it comes to telling myself it is just so hard to believe it? I am able to run longer and lift more, so I know that I am still progressing... these numbers are just so defining even though I know that the scale number is not the end-all. Maybe I will try a little experiment that I read about in E.B.'s blog... maybe I'll wait until the end of the month to weigh-in and see what happens. Tomorrow *is* the 1st, so it may be a good time to make a goal for the month and see what happens.
Off to fold some laundry and hop in the shower before bed.
Happy last day of April!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATNBOOGERS 4/30/2009 10:55PM

    Well... half the bag ain't the whole bag. ;-P

The thing that I have found about situations like these is that post-SP, the crappy snax just don't taste as good as they did pre-SP. (Darn you, Spark People! Though they probably didn't taste that great before, either.)

The thing about the plateau--you *have* to keep going on the exercise, eating right, etc. You *will* have a breakthrough, but you definitely won't get a breakthrough if you throw in the towel.

I'm planning on posting my goals for May tomorrow. I'll probably sneak on the scale mid-month at some point, but I'm hoping that biting off a month instead of a week (too short) or the whole darned year will help me focus *and* make it more manageable.

Remember, you're the Queen of the Pants! (And skirts!) You're making great progress! You're running--and you're making *super* progress there. Have you thought about a non-scale goal? Maybe something to do with pants, or a 5K, or some other fitness goal?

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It's HOT!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I haven't moved a whole lot since I got home from work. The couch has been my friend this afternoon. Later tonight I have a performance with the high school show choir and I think I'll go to the gym after that for a short run and a lower body workout. I have been neglecting my lower body weight training, even though I have been doing a lot of running.
The last two days have been great for my water intake. The 8 glasses of water a day steak has been a good one for me to re-visit.
There is a wasp's nest right outside my front door. I'm glad I found it, though, because there have been a number of wasps in my house the last few days. Ugh.
I didn't want to pack another salad for tomorrow, but I got two nice compliments at lunch today. One girl actually said I looked "fit." It was so nice, since I have been "unfit" for my whole life until now. That compliment is why I'll go to the gym tonight and do a mile.
Off to get ready!
Have a Sparky evening.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATNBOOGERS 4/28/2009 8:18PM

    Zax's comments are making me giggle. I resemble that remark. ;-)

I can only make it past 8 glasses by making (dilute) herbal tea (1 teabag in ~30-32 oz).

I'm impressed with all the musical/show choir/teacher-related stuff you do. I'm sure it takes a *lot* of time and energy. Good for you for hitting the gym!

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SOUTHGOINGZAX 4/28/2009 6:55PM

    Yeah...that darn lower body. Me from the ribcage up - AWESOME. The lower portion - not so much. Seriously, how can I have such cut, muscle-y arms and love handles at the same time?

Good for you for the water intake - I can *NEVER* make it to 8 glasses. Ever.

Enjoy your gym time - Run, run like the wind!

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My dogs are barking!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Today we went to Philadelphia to walk around. It was HOT. And we walked ALL afternoon. It was wonderful. Stopped in Chinatown for some wonton soup and it was delicious. It made me really want to move to the city; all that walking and all those fun places. Sigh.
Got ALL my water in today. It so happened that I drank some soda today. The soda that I drank caused my calories to go over my limit by the exact number of calories in the soda. Weird, huh? If I would have had water instead of the soda, I would have stayed in my calorie range. And that was even with duck in my soup for lunch and a grilled chicken sandwich and french fries for dinner! Ugh, soda.
I am SO tired. I'll sleep really well tonight.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATNBOOGERS 4/27/2009 5:22PM

    I love walking, especially in a different place.

Soda is a just a little bit evil, because it hide a *lot* of calories, but it doesn't fill you up.

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