Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Last night I was talking with my fiance who has been so incredibly supportive of me on SparkPeople. He's been cooking wonderful healthy meals for me, and getting really excited about my running and other workouts. Our conversation somehow got onto the topic of my upcoming 5K, and we were joking about my time, and he said something along the lines of "Don't worry, I won't laugh when you cross the finish line." It was a joke and I *know* this; we had been joking around about my time and everything. But something about that comment just brought back these horrible memories of when I was younger. I was never *fat* fat, but I was overweight enough that I couldn't run as fast as everyone else, I couldn't wear the hand-me-downs that everyone else could, I wasn't playing sports in high school, etc etc. Last night really made me realize how much being overweight was kind of a part of me. Before I started really changing my lifestyle, all those feelings kind of got pushed back.
I remember (very clearly) dieting when I was in middle school, feeling horrible when I went shopping with my friend (in 2nd grade!) and a 7th comment from someone who is now a very good friend of mine - something about "at least I don't have a roll." Now that my lifestyle is SO different than it was, I really have thought about some of those comments and experiences. Being overweight was a horrible experience for me.
But on a happy note, I ran last night. I did a treadmill 5K! I ran 1 mile, and thought "Well I'll just keep going." So I ran 2 miles, and then I thought "Well I might as well go for the 5K." And I did it. I am so excited that I can actually run. One of the girls at school said I was "wasting away to nothing," which I think is not really the best choice of words, but oh well. I'll take it over "you are really growing into something big!" Tonight will be a swimming night at the gym, I think. My tootsies need some time off from running. The PTA is providing lunch for the teachers today for Appreciation Week at school, but I am going to take a lunch anyway. I'll check out the spread and decide whether or not I need to eat *my* lunch or if I can manage to find something from the PTA.
It's about that time to head off to school. Have a Sparky Day!