Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Every day is getting a little better.
Yesterday I subbed for a phys ed class - wasn't my favorite thing; the class sizes are HUGE - 25 kindergarten kiddos is NOT all that fun.
Today I was in second grade for the morning. I had a GREAT morning! They class was so nice, they were respectful, and I got to see some old colleagues. There was a student teacher in the class and she gave me some great compliments on my teaching. Yay!
So the weekend triathlon. Turns out that I am a pretty good swimmer - my 1/4 mile time was 8:48 with a small current - 148th overall out of over 400. The trick, now, is to improve my bike and run so I can be a little more competitive, if only with myself. I got to see my best friend from elementary school and spend some time with my mom. The weather was beautiful!
I signed up for a triathlon class at my gym. I had some training sessions gathering dust, so I transferred the payment to the class. I'm looking forward to getting faster in the water and having someone push me to do better. It's also helping me to focus on GOOD things instead of wallowing in no-job sadness.
I'm still on the fence about my insurance, though. I got cheap insurance for the hubs and me, but I'm considering getting COBRA and paying for what I had with my job. I just feel better knowing that I can go to the doctor when I need to and that I'm able to get the prescriptions I need. I'm really going to have to think about this...
Off to make some cornbread!
Friday, September 14, 2012
I don't know how it happens, but life usually seems to figure itself out. The last few weeks have been SO overwhelming, and I just didn't know how I was going to handle anything. I've been very lucky and haven't really ever had to deal with anything hard (as an adult, anyway).
But anyway, here's the good. I had been going around and around with what I was going to do with my life - I didn't know if I wanted to stay in education or move to something totally different. After lots and lots of reading and soul-searching, I know the answer. I am going to stay in education - I've invested so much time, energy, and money into studying education. And you know what? I love it. So I'm continuing my education path. I'm going to take three classes in the spring, and then hopefully an internship in the summer. I'll have my curriculum supervisory certificate by the fall. I feel very at peace with this decision. Up until now, I haven't been totally sold on any of my other ideas.
Something good out of this is that I think I can finally start subbing. I really didn't want to, partly because I was sad about my kids, but another thing was that i didn't want to go back to school without a plan. I want to be able to show people that I'm moving on and this setback isn't going to own me. I feel confident now that I've made the decision to go back to school. I think on Sunday night I'll take any sub job that I get - it's a decent way to supplement my unemployment.
Time to get packing - I have a triathlon tomorrow and my mom and I are driving down tonight. It's in Atlantic City, so it should be fun. Happy Friday!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
It just keeps coming! The last two weeks have been SO stressful. As if being unemployed isn't enough, about two weeks ago, hubby's knee started swelling up and about a week ago it got so bad that he couldn't walk on it. We went to the orthopedic surgeon and he took some blood tests and ordered an MRI. We had to wait a week for all the results - between being anxious about those and hubby's knee pain, I went the whole week without a good night's sleep, which made me miserable.
Yesterday we went back for the follow-up, and the news was actually better than we hoped. Turns out that hubs has Lyme disease and a sprained knee. NO surgery (Hallelujah!), and he's on antibiotics and in a knee brace for three weeks. I had no idea that it was stressing me out so badly until yesterday when I came home and took a 2+ hour nap. Last night was my first night sleeping all the way through in over a week.
My workouts have been sporadic, at best, even though every time I go I feel a gazillion times better. My sleep schedule has been a wreck. Luckily, my eating has remained pretty good, although I could be drinking more water. I have a triathlon this weekend for which I am underprepared (the story of my life) but it's kind of an "easy" one (ha!) with a ten-mile FLAT bike ride and a 5K on a boardwalk. And really, I'm more excited about getting away for the weekend so I'm not too concerned with my time. My entrance fee was only $50 (I had a coupon!) so I'm not even thinking about "wasted" money.
I think the worst part about having so much time off is that I have a ton of time to think. And that's not always a good thing. In the last week I have considered going back to school for physical therapy, getting a wellness degree, getting elementary ed. certified, working as a floral designer, entering a doctoral program... and now that I know hubs is going to be ok, I've decided to finish what I started and get my curriculum certification. The silver lining to my unemployment is that next semester I can be a full-time grad student. There are three classes I need before my internship, and they are all offered next semester. If I can bust out these classes, next school year I can be applying for curriculum jobs and have a whole new field open for me. When I think of it that way, it's actually pretty exciting.
I'm slowly coming to terms with the whole having-no-income thing. I'm on unemployment, so it's not *too* horrible, but it's a shock when all of a sudden I have to change my lifestyle, and not on my terms. I've been reading books on consumption, simple living, and consumerism (there is a really interesting book out there called Cheap) and it's been good for me. I've been crying less and less, and I'm almost ready to start subbing, although I don't know exactly what's going to happen when I see my "old" kids. I'll probably be a mess.
Today was the first day in about a month that I set my alarm to do a workout. Out of all the expenses I had, I really didn't want to cut the gym. So I have to get my money's worth AND I have to make sure I'm taking care of myself. One thing about going to the gym is that it's so helpful for me to deal with everything. It's an hour of focusing on ME - MY form, MY posture, MY goals. For one hour I don't have to think about paying the mortgage, about finding a job, about health insurance.
It's time to finish my coffee and head off to the pool. Today hubs and I are going to run some errands and I have some e-mails to send out about school. We are getting our house ready to rent out (we can move forward with this FINALLY because we know that hubs won't be laid up for months). And the sun is out and the coffee is good.
Monday, August 27, 2012
So today was a pretty good day. I did my swim (and I'm now absolutely exhausted!), I went to lunch with a couple girlfriends, and I had a wonderful salad for dinner. I got some books from the library about not working - I am finding that the more I get out of my little bubble, the better I am. I was worried about lunch today - I went with the phys ed teacher from my old school and a para who was also laid off. I was afraid I'd be a total emotional wreck, but it was actually really good for me to go. It helped to kind of see that the world is going to go on, and things will work out the way they are going to.
There is also cautiously exciting news - I think I may have found a compromise for renting our house. Hubs wanted to rent it out ourselves, but I thought we should hire someone to do it. It's expensive to hire someone to do that, so I asked our realtor if we found someone if we could use her services for the credit check and leasing forms, etc. She got back to me that there is a 50% discount if that happens. I think this might be the way we go. Cross your fingers that I can convince the hubs!
The other (cautiously!) exciting news is that i got an e-mail from a job I applied for - my application status has been changed to "under consideration." It is for an elementary music teacher position at a non-profit charter school in Philadelphia for low-income students. Keep your fingers crossed for an interview!
So today was a better day than most of my days have been lately. I didn't feel sad about my job situation, and I managed to sneak in a nap. Tomorrow I am going on a bike ride with my dad, and then to a chiropractor appointment in the evening. And I even drank all my water today!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
I am having a really rough time with this no-job thing. I think right now it's mostly due to all the "back-to-school" stuff that's happening right now. And today I filed my first unemployment claim. I've never had to really be super-careful with my money (although I usually have been) but now I have to watch where every penny goes. The change of lifestyle thing is a tough pill for me to swallow.
This weekend I finally got myself to the gym, though. I haven't been as diligent about my workouts, partly because my schedule has been a total nightmare. I've been going to bed super late, sleeping in, and basically sitting around like a lump. And while I *know* that doing a workout would do wonders for my mood, sometimes I just can't bring myself to get up off the couch. I'm hoping that as the beginning of the school year fades away I won't have to think about it so much.
Drinking all my water every day has been a bit of a struggle, but I actually felt compelled to fill up my bottle right before I typed this sentence. I suppose I need to get back to Sparking regularly so I can keep myself accountable. Sparking has actually helped me - rather than stress-eat, I just get stress-lazy. So despite the lack of working out, I haven't really gained any weight.
But it's not all depressing and sad... it just helps me to get it all out there. So here goes - the bright side.
My hubs has been SO amazing during this time. He's putting up with my mood swings, my whining, my laziness, my snapping... I love him.
My friends, near and far, have been so supportive. It really helps to know I'm not in this alone.
I had a really great summer. I went on a road trip and it was a much needed break from all this. I did two triathlons, and I'm gearing up to do a third in just a few weeks.
While I'm not training as much as I should be, I have my next triathlon in my mind and I'm not *totally* slacking off. I've been doing the running, doing the swimming... I just need to get back into a biking schedule. I'm meeting my dad for a bike ride later this week. It will be nice to be on the bike.
I dusted off the Photoshop book last night, got out the camera, and took some pictures. I have to keep reminding myself of something a good friend once told me - something like "if you lose your job, it will give you the opportunity to do something you never thought you could." And it's true - I have the opportunity to take more pictures, to do more artwork, and to do more traveling (even if it's just a short little trip to a nearby park). I have all the time in the world to train for events, and I have the chance to really focus on some personal goals.
It's a popcorn kind of night (no, Rookies, not *that* kind. the kind you eat. I am home alone right now.) - I love this time of year. The nights are cool enough to throw on a sweatshirt...
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