Friday, June 26, 2009
Well it's raining. Again. Although it kinda stinks, it's a good excuse to stay in the house and get stuff done. My new computer is all set up, I've been de-cluttering everywhere, and I have been cooking real food!
Yesterday I went down to visit my mom and brother. It was the first time I was at the house since my dog died. Thought I'd be okay, but I lost it when I saw his food dish, empty and clean, in the kitchen. Of all the things to upset me... So I worked on a Mickey scrapbook. I never scrapbooked in my life. It was actually really good for me to get some closure. There was a lot of crying and a lot of laughing, too.
My stitches come out on Wednesday. HALLELUJAH. I am SO tired of them. I tried running today, but my stitches started to hurt a little bit. I got a call from my doctor about the mole biopsy - there were some "funny" cells in one of the moles. She said it's really nothing to worry about, but in September the doctor is going to remove some more just to get it taken care of. I was really upset when I heard, but I think I'm ok now. The mole was there for quite a while and nothing weird was going on with my body. I had it removed because my doctor did a full body scan and thought it should go. So I'm not going to worry about it; it is what it is. It's weird because I just read an article about how many people who find "funny" cells go through treatment un-necessarily. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that I am getting this taken care of, but I don't think I can let myself freak out because of what the doctor found. However, this did prompt me to buy a large sun hat.
Because I have to go back to the doctor in September and take another two weeks off from running, I decided that I am not going to train for a half marathon this fall. There are lots of other shorter races that I am going to enter, and I am going to continue running for fun. I'm not to the competitive point (yet?), and the shorter races will be good for me.
I also re-calculated my cardio minutes for the week, which re-did my nutrition information. Even with not getting nearly as much gym time with my stitches as I'm used to, I still managed to lose about half a pound. But I am going to wait until the very end of the month to record my weight.
Off to watch some Oprah.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My dog died on Monday night. He was really sick and my mom had to put him to sleep. I don't know the last time I cried so much, even when my human family members passed away. I guess it's because a human can let you know exactly what they are feeling, where you have to really pay attention to the dog's tail and ears and body language to know if they are in pain.
Mickey was a really lucky dog... mom and I picked him up from a farm twelve springs ago. He looked so cute. Neither of us planned to get a dog; we didn't even have a water dish or leash for him! He came home with us and quickly fit in with the family. Mickey was (is) very loved. He had his share of problems - ear infections, a torn dog ACL, glaucoma, diabetes, a lump (we never did know for sure if it was cancer or not), and total blindness. But still, Mickey wagged his tail. My mom did everything for this dog. When other people told my mom that she should just put him to sleep - it cost too much to take care of him, my mom knew that she had to take care of family. He even went to the dog optometrist for a few months to keep his glaucoma in check. He had eye drops three times a day... he did not like it at all and had to get a muzzle on.
I never scrapbooked before, but I thought I'd start tonight. I bought some supplies at AC Moore. I thought what better way to remember Mickey than to give him his own book. It is going to be really hard going to my mom's house to visit; no more Mickster running down the stairs, no more dog sitting with us out at the hot tub, no more naps together on the couch.
Mickey used to get his own hamburger at the Wendy's drive-thru and his own ice cream cone for dessert. He had his special spot on the bed, and even had a fancy food dish for when he wasn't allowed to eat from the one on the floor. He got the best Christmas presents, and he always opened them himself.
I am going to miss my dog. A lot. I could deal with it by eating a ton, but I did that on Monday night. I don't think he'd appreciate it if he knew I was coping by gaining weight. Off to start my scrapbook.. Mickey sure has a lot of pictures!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Tonight my mom had to put my dog to sleep. He didn't eat all weekend and he wasn't coming downstairs to greet her anymore. I am really sad. He was such a good friend. I know he's in a better place now.
Off to bed.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Since I haven't been able to go to the gym, I have had seemingly lots of free time. I've been reading some books about simplifying my life - they are very interesting. I LOVE getting rid of things. Things I no longer have use for and things that are just junk. Lately, though, I have been acquiring more things that I think I need for my new life. I bought an iPod for running, I bought some new workout clothes for the gym, and I have been buying clothing that actually fits. In all the hype of my new lifestyle, I tend to think I am on the brink of over-doing it. While new clothes are a necessity (not only to have something that fits, but to keep me encouraged to stick with my new lifestyle), ten new dresses are *not* a necessity. As I clean out my closet, I am reminded of how much I bought to make myself feel better for being fat. "well this fits, I guess I'll buy it." My new clothes need to have a different message - "I look really good in this dress and I worked really hard to be able to wear it." Each time I wear one of my new outfits I should be relishing in the experience that I can wear it.
I called my dad today for Father's Day. If you would have told me ten, even five years ago that I would be more like my dad than my mom, I would have laughed. When I was younger I used to get mad at him for not letting me have what I wanted all the time; my brother and I would clip coupons at the kitchen table to learn their value; he put hot sauce on eggs and it disgusted me. But today, I can't believe how much I'm like him. I am a coupon fiend on Sunday mornings, I don't buy much of anything (even clothes!) unless I have a coupon. I cut back on spending money on and charging lots of junk, and instead spend my saved cash on really nice things like vacations (China!), good wine, and soon a new computer. I LOVE hot sauce - I put Tapatio on just about anything, including eggs. It makes for one of my favorite breakfasts. I look up to my dad so much. The way he lives his life is the way I want to live mine.
Ok, enough sap. Today I bought some fresh tomatoes and made no-cook sauce for my pasta (tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, and basil - YUM) for lunch. Tonight I think it will be a large salad with some shrimp; ice cream with fruit for dessert. Tomorrow is going to be my first day back at the gym. I can't wait. I am going to take it easy - don't want my stitches to pop out!
The fiance was working today. :( He usually has off on Sundays, but he had to go in for Father's Day (he's a chef). Gave me some time to do schoolwork and reading. I even got a nap in today!
Happy Father's Day to all dads and to everyone with a dad.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
I am generally a pretty positive person, but this rain needs to go away! I think my fiance is feeling it more than I am... he's been moping around and being a little miserable. I don't know what to do to make him feel better. But he has been wonderful about helping me take care of my stitches. I have some right in the middle of my back, where there is absolutely no hope for me ever reaching them. He's been putting gauze on for me. He's so wonderful. I don't know what I'd do without him.
I saw a creepy snake in my garage yesterday. It was non-poisonous and it eats grubs and worms, but it was still creepy. It was a Northern Ringnecked Snake. It was actually kind of a beautiful snake, but it still gave me the creeps.
I am going to take today off from the gym again. Doc said I can get back into stuff tomorrow. I think tomorrow will be some easy treadmill walking, maybe an easy run depending on how I feel, and some upper body stuff. At this point, I think the medical tape hurts more than the stitches do.
Yesterday I bought a new planter for some herbs we are eventually going to get. Not being able to go to the gym has helped me get a whole lot of other stuff done. Almost all my CDs are transferred to iTunes, my spider plant is in the new pot I bought for it *months* ago, my too-big clothes are at Goodwill, and I've been able to sit down and read and do some crosswords.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE going to the gym (well, the feeling when I'm *done* at the gym, anyhow), but this time has really been good for me. I was honestly a little worried about gaining some weight back, but my fiance, always the prudent one, said "you're not going to get fat from a few days off." Puts it all in perspective... and it's true. I'm not sitting around eating giant bowls of Chinese food (mmmmm) just because I can't go to the gym. I'm still eating good food and drinking my water (although I could always improve in this area).
This morning I think we are going to buy some herbs for the new planter. Maybe get some sandals for him, some shorts for me...
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