CARILOUIE   83,599
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It's a really sad night

Monday, June 22, 2009

Tonight my mom had to put my dog to sleep. He didn't eat all weekend and he wasn't coming downstairs to greet her anymore. I am really sad. He was such a good friend. I know he's in a better place now.
Off to bed.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


  I'm a new member of this group, and when I saw your post I had to answer. I've only put one pet to sleep, but even years later it still hurts. Please allow yourself to mourn, as pets are members of our families. Tell stories about him, and keep your memories, and remember to take care of yourself.

Warm regards from BeautifulLynda

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MUFFIY831 6/23/2009 8:33AM

    I'm so sorry to hear that. Hang in there, sweets.

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POOHBAH51 6/23/2009 2:51AM

    I am sorry about your loss. Pets can be like children. Let yourself mourn. Don't console yourself with food but talk to friends and blog about your dog.

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KAYAKID 6/23/2009 2:40AM

I am so sorry too hear that you lost the family dog!! Pets are certainly members of our families. as I typing our cat is trying to help me - they are so helpful...

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RACING4ME 6/23/2009 1:46AM

    I am so sorry hon
It is tough to lose a friend!! Do you have some wonderful pictures to remember him by?


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The Simple Life...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Since I haven't been able to go to the gym, I have had seemingly lots of free time. I've been reading some books about simplifying my life - they are very interesting. I LOVE getting rid of things. Things I no longer have use for and things that are just junk. Lately, though, I have been acquiring more things that I think I need for my new life. I bought an iPod for running, I bought some new workout clothes for the gym, and I have been buying clothing that actually fits. In all the hype of my new lifestyle, I tend to think I am on the brink of over-doing it. While new clothes are a necessity (not only to have something that fits, but to keep me encouraged to stick with my new lifestyle), ten new dresses are *not* a necessity. As I clean out my closet, I am reminded of how much I bought to make myself feel better for being fat. "well this fits, I guess I'll buy it." My new clothes need to have a different message - "I look really good in this dress and I worked really hard to be able to wear it." Each time I wear one of my new outfits I should be relishing in the experience that I can wear it.
I called my dad today for Father's Day. If you would have told me ten, even five years ago that I would be more like my dad than my mom, I would have laughed. When I was younger I used to get mad at him for not letting me have what I wanted all the time; my brother and I would clip coupons at the kitchen table to learn their value; he put hot sauce on eggs and it disgusted me. But today, I can't believe how much I'm like him. I am a coupon fiend on Sunday mornings, I don't buy much of anything (even clothes!) unless I have a coupon. I cut back on spending money on and charging lots of junk, and instead spend my saved cash on really nice things like vacations (China!), good wine, and soon a new computer. I LOVE hot sauce - I put Tapatio on just about anything, including eggs. It makes for one of my favorite breakfasts. I look up to my dad so much. The way he lives his life is the way I want to live mine.
Ok, enough sap. Today I bought some fresh tomatoes and made no-cook sauce for my pasta (tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, and basil - YUM) for lunch. Tonight I think it will be a large salad with some shrimp; ice cream with fruit for dessert. Tomorrow is going to be my first day back at the gym. I can't wait. I am going to take it easy - don't want my stitches to pop out!
The fiance was working today. :( He usually has off on Sundays, but he had to go in for Father's Day (he's a chef). Gave me some time to do schoolwork and reading. I even got a nap in today!
Happy Father's Day to all dads and to everyone with a dad.

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KAYAKID 6/21/2009 7:22PM

    Thanks for the blog! it was nice. I has been a hard day. I lost my dad in 2007 and we were good buddies. We played golf together for 40 years. It is nice that you have a good relationship with your dad. Get luck on your gym visit tomorrow just be careful. Have a great Week!!

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ANOTHER rainy day

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I am generally a pretty positive person, but this rain needs to go away! I think my fiance is feeling it more than I am... he's been moping around and being a little miserable. I don't know what to do to make him feel better. But he has been wonderful about helping me take care of my stitches. I have some right in the middle of my back, where there is absolutely no hope for me ever reaching them. He's been putting gauze on for me. He's so wonderful. I don't know what I'd do without him.
I saw a creepy snake in my garage yesterday. It was non-poisonous and it eats grubs and worms, but it was still creepy. It was a Northern Ringnecked Snake. It was actually kind of a beautiful snake, but it still gave me the creeps.
I am going to take today off from the gym again. Doc said I can get back into stuff tomorrow. I think tomorrow will be some easy treadmill walking, maybe an easy run depending on how I feel, and some upper body stuff. At this point, I think the medical tape hurts more than the stitches do.
Yesterday I bought a new planter for some herbs we are eventually going to get. Not being able to go to the gym has helped me get a whole lot of other stuff done. Almost all my CDs are transferred to iTunes, my spider plant is in the new pot I bought for it *months* ago, my too-big clothes are at Goodwill, and I've been able to sit down and read and do some crosswords.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE going to the gym (well, the feeling when I'm *done* at the gym, anyhow), but this time has really been good for me. I was honestly a little worried about gaining some weight back, but my fiance, always the prudent one, said "you're not going to get fat from a few days off." Puts it all in perspective... and it's true. I'm not sitting around eating giant bowls of Chinese food (mmmmm) just because I can't go to the gym. I'm still eating good food and drinking my water (although I could always improve in this area).
This morning I think we are going to buy some herbs for the new planter. Maybe get some sandals for him, some shorts for me...
Happy Saturday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DSCHONDOG 6/20/2009 8:59PM

    Taking those too big clothes to Goodwill makes the statement, "This weight loss is permanent." GOOD FOR YOU! emoticon

Loving those smaller sizes,

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ROGUE_1 6/20/2009 3:57PM

    Happy Saturday to you Little Miss Productive! You're getting so much done during your down time! I do hope the rain lets up soon and that the sun shines through. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.


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KAYAKID 6/20/2009 11:49AM

    Carrie, It sounds like you are doing good and enjoying your time away from the gym for a few days. When we get in the groove of working out almost everyday its hard when we don't get too. I kindof struggled this past week because I was trying to rest at the beginning of the week because of my race. My fitness minutes this week are the lowest in a very long time. My race gave me a lift - I do have a 7 mile run today - so back to the training! Have a great weekend.

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Stitches and time off

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Today was a pretty busy day. I'll start from the morning.
- Woke up and threw on an outfit. I don't think I'll EVER tire of throwing something on and having it look good.
- Ate a bagel and a banana. Filled up my water bottle for the drive. LOVE my Sigg. I wish it was bigger, but then it wouldn't fit in my cup holder. I may need to get a bigger one anyway and lay it on the seat since it closes very securely.
- Drove to the mall to meet my mom for lunch and exchange a shirt (for a smaller size!!!). We went to an Italian place. It was really really delicious - I did well. Side salad (the dressing was already on it, but the salad wasn't swimming in it. Don't think it was *too* horrible) and a fritatta (sp?). I ate half the fritatta; wasn't greasy, had some veggies in it, and protein from the egg. Yum. I ate a little less than half of a piece of bread; it just wasn't that good and I didn't want to eat calories that didn't taste good. Had some mocha gelato for dessert. I am a sucker for dessert, so I made sure that I had enough room. SOOOOO good. I enjoyed every single bite.
- Exchanged shirt. Bought a new dress with a coupon. SO cute for summer, if the sun ever decides to come out.
- My mom talked about wanting to lose weight (again). It is so hard for me to talk to her about it because she is not doing it the Spark way! She wants to lose two pounds a week (by simply not eating, instead of eating less and moving more) which is a lot to lose in a week! The most frustrating thing is that when we were at lunch, I saw her keep dipping her bread into the oil at the restaurant. I was reminded from a scene described by Jim Kalas in his book Flip the Switch; he writes of a time when he went out to eat with a woman who kept eating the bread and oil and wanted to lose weight. Finally he yelled out "STOP! Do you know you just ate over 600 calories in bread and oil???" I don't know that it's my place to yell that out in a restaurant. My challenge in all this is to help my mom the best that I can without coming off as a know-it-all, especially because I *don't* know it all. I wonder if she is as motivated to change her lifestyle when I'm not around. I would imagine it's a little frustrating for her; we used to wear the same size. Now she is up a couple sizes and I am wearing a few sizes smaller. Does she talk about losing weight when I'm not around as much as she does when I *am* around?
- Went to the dermatologist and had two moles removed - one from my back and one from my leg. I can't run for a few days according to my doctor, but I may decide to take the whole two weeks off from running anyway. I really don't want my stitches to come out. My doctor is so nice - she is so easy to talk to and I feel as if I can tell her any concern.

Not today, but worth writing anyway: I think I inspired a friend - she told me she wanted to start walking and that she was a little jealous that I was losing so much weight. We walked one time last week; she was going to call me to set up another 'date' but hasn't done so since then. I almost mentioned it tonight, but I think *she* has to be the one to initiate it. She has to want to change herself.
Last night I replenished my bras. I looked at a picture taken over the weekend and realized that my bras did not fit anymore. Bought a "bralet." Was exciting for me because I've never been able to fit into a "bralet." SOOOO comfy.
I think I'll have some decaf and sit on the couch. Tonight I fixed our printer, got some classwork done, and did a schedule for school. I think I deserve some time on the couch.
Happy Sparking!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATNBOOGERS 6/18/2009 3:28PM

    I hear you re bread in restaurants. I *FINALLY* feel like I've figured that one out--don't eat it just because it's there, especially if it's not tasty!

When I go out with my dh, I almost always split a dessert with him (but again, not unless it's something that sounds *really* good--ie, worth it). "Saving room for dessert" I think is actually a good strategy for not overeating.

I hear about weight loss from my mom, too. In her case, it's pretty necessary--she recently was diagnosed with high blood pressure, she's prediabetic, etc. I just try to be supportive when she espouses god ideas... she's been trying much harder with Curves and with the South Beach Diet. It's hard not to get frustrated, though. She's in a much different place.

I actually returned some clothes today, too (stuff that I had ordered a while back and had sitting around). It was a size issue for me, too. I'm back to the size I was before I had kids, but I'm not sure it has sunk in yet... I spent almost 10 years pregnant, post partum, breastfeeding, etc. It has been a little easier to *get rid of* things ("Clearly this does not fit anymore") than it has to acquire new things of the right size (in part because I often order over the internet). It's pretty darned important to wear the proper size, though... one looks better and thus feels better.

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SEPPIESUSAN 6/17/2009 9:07PM

    Bread and oil calories add up QUICKLY - I'm sure I've eaten well over 600 calories' worth without thinking about it, in my pre-SP life!

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KAYAKID 6/17/2009 8:54PM

    Carrie, what a nice low key blog! You are doing so good. I find the same with my friends, they want to change but they want a quick fix and that is not the way it is done. a pound week is good for most of us. anymore than that and it gets really hard. Good luck on your 2 weeks of rest - Walk bunches - keep up some kind of cardio if you can! Have a great day tomorrow - race day tomorrow getting nervous trying to plan my eating.


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My new lifestyle

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I am finally feeling like Spark is really my lifestyle. I am eating less and moving more; I'm conscious of portion sizes, I don't beat myself up for enjoying good food, and nothing is off-limits (food-wise). Going to the gym is natural for me now. I am ran three miles today on the treadmill and thought nothing of it. I was on vacation this past weekend and ran almost 7 miles. On vacation!
People are really noticing how different I look. High school classmates who I see on Facebook comment on my pictures that I post. It is such a good feeling. Tomorrow I have to exchange a shirt - I bought a medium, and it is too big. I never imagined that I would be able to wear a small or a single digit size. It is especially exciting because I never have. This is a whole new feeling for me, and I love it. It's so much better than stuffing my face full of fries. It's better than eating take-out three or four nights a week.
I LOVE going shopping now. I LOVE being able to go somewhere and throw on a pair of jeans or a dress and not worry about what is sticking out.
Off to make some soup and then head out for some new gym shorts.
Happy Tuesday!

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DSCHONDOG 6/17/2009 7:38PM

    Dearest Carrie,

I could have written this blog in October 2004 after I lost 35 pounds and for the first time since I was an adolescent, I wore a single digit size. You know, all the rewards (I call them blessings) of doing what I know I should do for my body came as a surprise to me. I went to the store to get some new clothes at about the 20 pound mark and I had to go 3 sizes smaller. I kept reaching for smaller and smaller sizes and I couldn't believe the rack I was pulling from!!!! I'm wearing a size 6 now and sometimes a 4. I could have never predicted this would happen. It was such a shock. As you know, I am a registered nurse and I knew, intellectually, what a good diet and exercise does to the body, but, again, when it actually happened to me I was shocked. My cholesterol went from 205 down to 150, my HDL went from 35 to 55 and my triglycerides from 110 to 60!

I could only do 2 situps in May 2004, now I do 130 once every week. I use 10 pound dumbbells for strength training and toning and hike, bike, kayak and treadmill well enough to lead a fitness group at my church. My life has been so transformed that I can hardly remember the old me. I know you will jump, run, leap and climb all over China (with ease). I went full steam ahead from sunup to sundown there. I didn't want to miss a thing! I think I wore out my 28-year-old companions. I would prowl around on my own for 2 hours in the morning before they would get up. emoticon

Everytime I think about overeating I say to myself, "Dawn, do you want that cake (or candy or extra roll or whatever) as your reward or do you want all the clothes you are looking at in the department store to fit when you try them on? When I juxtapose these two items, it is a no-brainer. I want to look good in my clothes and I want to have energy to live life to its fullest. I LOVED your blog. You are SO fortunate. You are half my age and have discovered what it took me almost my whole life to discover. Enjoy!

PS Thanks for adding me as a Spark Friend. I am adding you, too. I don't want to lose track of you. Happy Wednesday!

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EATNBOOGERS 6/17/2009 2:44PM

    Yea you! Very positive blog entry. :-)

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SEPPIESUSAN 6/17/2009 12:44PM

    I'm so glad I read this - I feel the same way, and I love the reminder of how far I have come and what an accomplishment it is.

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KAYAKID 6/16/2009 5:55PM

    Carrie, don't you just love that go to the gym and run 3 miles on the treadmill and it is no big deal. Let me tell you what happened yesterday. I got on the treadmill and some young guy got on the treadmill next to me. I was running a 2 mile before my fitness/diet support group class. my pace was about 10:54 - a pace that is easy now and he was going slower than me and he was breathing so hard and when I finished I was harly out of breathe. Wonderful feeling! for this 52 year old. Have a great week

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