Friday, July 03, 2009
Tonight was the first time in over two weeks that I have been swimming. With the stitches in, I was not allowed to go in public water. Bleh. I had a nice little routine of going swimming on Friday night; kind of like a little break before a race on Saturday morning. I wasn't running either (the stitches in my leg pulled - ouch!) so I was kind of slacking in the fitness department. Tonight's swim was so wonderful. I remembered why it was such an important part of my lifestyle change - a really fun way to get cardio in and a way to kind of zone out and do some thinking. And I did some thinking tonight. Mostly about my goals and how my actions are or are not fitting into those goals.
Action Example from today: My dad and his wife came up for lunch today. I made tomato soup (it tasted like it should be really bad for you, but it was SO healthy) and had some bread. I entered the bread in the calorie tracker, and it was over 250 calories. Ugh! A perfectly healthy lunch sabotaged by bread. So what did I have for dinner? Tomato soup. And a piece of the bread. Not any smaller, the same 250+ calories.
But while I was swimming, I really thought about how I consciously made that choice to eat the bread. I could have chosen not to eat it. I need to get back in control. I don't really think I'm *that* out of control, but I feel like I am far off from where I was a month or so ago.
Tomorrow is a new day. There is a 4-mile run at a nearby park, and I think I'll do that. Even though I haven't been running and will probably have to walk a bit of it, at least it will get me out there and moving and back into a routine. There are some 5Ks coming up that sound really fun; I think I'll find some to sign up for so I have a goal to work toward.
I think it's time for some decaf and a good book... The calories I have left are few, so I'll have to settle for coffee instead of wine.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Here's what happened today.
I tracked all my food. I drank all my water. I went to the gym and had a great workout. I feel much better!!!
Just got back from the gym, took my shower, and now I'm going to eat a little something. It's like Europe in my house - we eat dinner pretty late around here.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
It's weird that this was the prompt for this week, because I was just thinking about this last night. Yesterday we went to the Philly Zoo and spent the afternoon and evening in Philadelphia. Very fun! BUT I did not think about what I ate AT ALL. I had lo mein for lunch, pizza for dinner, cake for dessert... you get the idea. Last night when I got home I was so upset for letting myself get out of control like that. I worked so hard to get where I am and I still have a way to go; eating like I did the last two days isn't going to help me get there. So yes, I am afraid of gaining it back. I got lazy about eating, and while I am still going to the gym regularly, it certainly isn't burning off the extra hundreds of calories I've been consuming. If I keep eating like I don't care, then I *will* gain it back.
So what am I going to do? I'm going to be vigilant about entering my calories - that's what helped me in the first place, and I am going to go back to it. I don't see it as failing, I see it as being smart about my choices and knowing what works for me. I see it as pro-active - I am nipping it in the bud before it gets out of control. Tackling an extra two pounds is easier than tackling an extra 10 pounds.
I'm going to re-assess my goals and maybe join some new Spark teams to help me reach those goals. It's early and I'm awake, so I'm going to hit the gym. I started Sparking on January 1st - today is like another New Year for me.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Well it's raining. Again. Although it kinda stinks, it's a good excuse to stay in the house and get stuff done. My new computer is all set up, I've been de-cluttering everywhere, and I have been cooking real food!
Yesterday I went down to visit my mom and brother. It was the first time I was at the house since my dog died. Thought I'd be okay, but I lost it when I saw his food dish, empty and clean, in the kitchen. Of all the things to upset me... So I worked on a Mickey scrapbook. I never scrapbooked in my life. It was actually really good for me to get some closure. There was a lot of crying and a lot of laughing, too.
My stitches come out on Wednesday. HALLELUJAH. I am SO tired of them. I tried running today, but my stitches started to hurt a little bit. I got a call from my doctor about the mole biopsy - there were some "funny" cells in one of the moles. She said it's really nothing to worry about, but in September the doctor is going to remove some more just to get it taken care of. I was really upset when I heard, but I think I'm ok now. The mole was there for quite a while and nothing weird was going on with my body. I had it removed because my doctor did a full body scan and thought it should go. So I'm not going to worry about it; it is what it is. It's weird because I just read an article about how many people who find "funny" cells go through treatment un-necessarily. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that I am getting this taken care of, but I don't think I can let myself freak out because of what the doctor found. However, this did prompt me to buy a large sun hat.
Because I have to go back to the doctor in September and take another two weeks off from running, I decided that I am not going to train for a half marathon this fall. There are lots of other shorter races that I am going to enter, and I am going to continue running for fun. I'm not to the competitive point (yet?), and the shorter races will be good for me.
I also re-calculated my cardio minutes for the week, which re-did my nutrition information. Even with not getting nearly as much gym time with my stitches as I'm used to, I still managed to lose about half a pound. But I am going to wait until the very end of the month to record my weight.
Off to watch some Oprah.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My dog died on Monday night. He was really sick and my mom had to put him to sleep. I don't know the last time I cried so much, even when my human family members passed away. I guess it's because a human can let you know exactly what they are feeling, where you have to really pay attention to the dog's tail and ears and body language to know if they are in pain.
Mickey was a really lucky dog... mom and I picked him up from a farm twelve springs ago. He looked so cute. Neither of us planned to get a dog; we didn't even have a water dish or leash for him! He came home with us and quickly fit in with the family. Mickey was (is) very loved. He had his share of problems - ear infections, a torn dog ACL, glaucoma, diabetes, a lump (we never did know for sure if it was cancer or not), and total blindness. But still, Mickey wagged his tail. My mom did everything for this dog. When other people told my mom that she should just put him to sleep - it cost too much to take care of him, my mom knew that she had to take care of family. He even went to the dog optometrist for a few months to keep his glaucoma in check. He had eye drops three times a day... he did not like it at all and had to get a muzzle on.
I never scrapbooked before, but I thought I'd start tonight. I bought some supplies at AC Moore. I thought what better way to remember Mickey than to give him his own book. It is going to be really hard going to my mom's house to visit; no more Mickster running down the stairs, no more dog sitting with us out at the hot tub, no more naps together on the couch.
Mickey used to get his own hamburger at the Wendy's drive-thru and his own ice cream cone for dessert. He had his special spot on the bed, and even had a fancy food dish for when he wasn't allowed to eat from the one on the floor. He got the best Christmas presents, and he always opened them himself.
I am going to miss my dog. A lot. I could deal with it by eating a ton, but I did that on Monday night. I don't think he'd appreciate it if he knew I was coping by gaining weight. Off to start my scrapbook.. Mickey sure has a lot of pictures!
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