Saturday, August 22, 2009
I have a lot of clothes that are too big for me. They are in a range of about two sizes and they are accumulated from over 5 years of working in clothing retail. That's a lot of clothing! In the past I have lost 10 pounds here and there, but I always gained it back. It's a good thing I kept all those clothes.
But this time is different. It feels different. The way I eat and the way I move now... I can never go back to how it used to be. I *can't* keep those old clothes. There are too many stories and memories attached to those clothes... Pants from when I lost 5 pounds and thought I deserved a treat, skirts from when i couldn't fit into any pants, shirts I bought just because they fit, not because I liked them, but because I could actually close them... there are so many things I remember about those clothes. They have been sitting in my closet, waiting to go away. I haven't gotten around to take them away, but this weekend is ending all that. On Monday I am going to visit my family for my brother's birthday, and I'm taking all the clothes to my mom. All 6 shopping bags full.
When I first started finding that clothes were too big, like REALLY too big, I was a little sad. I spent a lot of money on clothes, and there were a few things that I really liked. I actually tried some on last night and thought "maybe I was being too harsh... maybe I can still wear them." No such luck. And I don't *want* to fit into them again. Today I had a skirt on just for fun; it used to be tight around my waist, and today it was falling off my hips. With a pair of shorts on underneath. That was a sign telling me that it is time to give my clothes away. I am DONE being that girl who wore those clothes. I am ready to wear clothes that reflect the new me - confident and feeling good. (I bought a new pair of black pants, and I tried them on with a white button-down - tucked in! I almost cried because I LOVED how I looked.)
It has been almost eight whole months since I joined SparkPeople. In that time I have accomplished more than I ever thought I would. I can run 6 miles non-stop and have run numerous 5Ks. I am into single digit size pants - something I used to dream about when I worked in clothing retail. There are muscles (real muscles!) on my body that I can see. I have inspired others to eat healthier and move more. I don't have to hide behind anything anymore - I chopped off my hair and I LOVE it. I can wear shorts! I discovered that I will eat a good bowl of homemade soup over Chicken McNuggets any day. I learned that a half-pint of Ben and Jerry's *won't* kill me... as long as I keep it to once or twice a month. If I deprive myself of these cravings, it's worse for me in the long run.
My fiance is a chef, and one of the lessons I've learned from him is that knowing how things work together is better than following a recipe. It lets me throw things together and experiment to find out exactly what works and what *I* like, which may be more beans and less onion, or a little more cayenne than what the recipe calls for. It's like SparkPeople. I've learned so much about how my body works and how exercise and nutrition work together to make a healthier me. A little more swimming and a little less dairy may work for me, but not for someone else. Maybe you need *more* dairy and more elliptical. It's not following a generic "recipe" for weight loss that probably won't work for everyone, but knowing how my body works and reacts so that I can do what *I* need to do to live a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle.
And with that, I know that my body likes a little glass of bubbly before dinner, so cheers to SparkPeople and to all of you on this wonderful journey of living our best lives.
Friday, August 21, 2009
is apparently going to the state store after a workout. I swam tonight and then went to get some wine for dinner, and I got carded. I'm going to be 30 in about a month, and they carded me! Wahoo! I was wearing my gym clothes, wet from the pool, and I probably looked terrible. But it was nice anyway.
So tonight was a bit of a cheat night for me... I had wine and cookie dough ice cream (I was craving it like mad!) but now my craving is taken care of for a while.
Swam for 40 minutes tonight - hard work!
Tomorrow I am going to try a Pilates class at my gym - I think I need to do something more for my core. It will be nice to add something different to my fitness routine.
Made scallops and linguine for dinner tonight - YUM. I needed to get my protein in, so I decided to use the scallops I had in the freezer. Very tasty indeed.
This week I have gone a little crazy with the carbs - I think it's because I haven't been getting enough protein. I added some black beans to my salad tonight and some scallops to my pasta. Getting enough protein has always been a challenge for me. I am going to work on that! Since school starts next week, I have to get a system into place where I can eat healthy meals that are easy to throw together. The routine of school is actually good for me... I know exactly when I have to go to the gym, when I have to eat dinner, and when I need to go to bed. No more staying up late (wahoo!). I love going to bed early and getting up early.
It's time for a big glass of water, a hot bath, and sleep.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Went to running club tonight. It was hot. REALLY hot. And humid. It felt like I was running through soup. Boy was I glad when we were finished! Short 3.5 mile run tonight - never thought I'd be saying that 3.5 miles is "short!" Really shows how far I've come.
So this week and last week I've really been doing a lot of cardio. Which is good. But, I think I am going to take an easy weekend. I need to rest my knee a bit; swimming will be good for me. I think it will also be a good chance for me to recharge a bit before school starts. The start of school just kind of snuck up on me this year! Can't believe next Wednesday is the first day back for teachers already. Lesson plan thoughts need to start getting in my head.
I've been reading blogs and articles lately about how what we do with our bodies is our own choice, the consequences and/or rewards are because of our choices. I've been thinking twice about stopping for that ice cream on the way home, sleeping in instead of going to the gym "just this once," or putting that extra cheese on my baked potato. It's nobody's fault but mine (Led Zeppelin, anyone?) if I go over in fat for the day because of the extra cheese. On the positive side, though, it's also *my* doing when I can more easily swim or when i can push myself through that last half mile when all I want to do is fall over.
Football is on, so I have to go put on some decaf and get comfortable on the couch. I forgot how much I enjoy football season!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I have been patiently waiting since the beginning of July so I could officially enter that 25th pound lost. I've been .4 pounds away since July 3rd. Tonight I weighed myself and WAHOO it's a full 25 pounds since I started Sparking! What a great feeling. Even though it's less than 1/2 a pound, it's better than nothing, and it's certainly better than gaining. It's also just the little bump I needed to reassure me that I'm progressing toward my goals. (I know that weight is not the most important thing, but it's so much easier to tell that to other people than to keep it in mind for myself!)
Tonight I went to the pool and did 1/2 an hour of easy laps. It was a good time for me to do some thinking and burn some calories. My knee has been bothering me, too, so it was a good chance to rest it from running. Running club is tomorrow night, so I'm going to really pay attention to my knee and see if it feels any better. I may have to take few days off from running so it can get better. (My penguin running buddy is going to be on vacation next week anyway, and I'm a little nervous about going without him. I'm afraid that I will be holding someone back! It would be a perfect time to rest my knee while he's away. We'll see.)
This morning we had bacon and blueberry pancakes. Yum! But SO not healthy. I did, however, compensate the rest of the day and ate kind of light. Tonight I made some Mexican-style soup with some things we had in the fridge. It was SO good. A little hot for soup, but it's so low-calorie and delicious that I didn't really mind standing over the hot stove. And now I have lunch for tomorrow.
This part might be a little long, but I have to put it out here.
My mom started Jenny Craig. For about the 100th time. I wish I could support it more, but I think that eating all those salty boxed foods are just not good for her. She called me tonight to tell me she lost 11 pounds so far. I congratulated her on the loss, and I brought up something about making sure she can do what she's doing for the rest of her life. It's a pattern I've seen a lot over the years while growing up; she goes on some "quick fix" diet and loses 20 pounds or so, and then soon it creeps back up. The Jenny Craig food would come back into the house, or the Weight Watchers material would show up on the counter, and then the cycle would start all over again. I've tried the Grapefruit Diet, the Soup Diet, and a million other diets with her. So I guess the point of this may be that i wish I could be happier for her, but I have seen this cycle so many times that I can't tell if this is going to stick or not. Does that make me a bad daughter?
Well, off to think and have a little sweet and decaf.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Well it was bound to happen... the enthusiasm I had when I started Sparking in January has returned. I set new goals for myself, and I've been meeting those goals! One of the big differences, however, is that I'm not so concerned about my weight. The fitness and nutrition goals are more important to me.
My running has improved, my arms are finally getting smaller, and my energy is up again.
Tonight was a "short" 4.6 mile run. It was hot and humid, but I did it. And I actually felt good! My breathing felt even and my pace felt a little quicker and smoother than it did 2 or 3 weeks ago. I'm actually looking forward to my 5K at the end of the month!
I took some time this weekend to re-assess my commitment to living more simply. I feel like I was getting caught up in buying new things to fit my new body that I lost sight of what is truly important to me. Today I thought that instead of buying another running shirt, I would buy a new pair of running shoes (which i *really* need more than another shirt). I'll just have to do laundry more often - not the end of the world. It's really amazing to me how much less "stuff" I need now that I have more self-confidence. All the stuff was just hiding how I felt about myself. I'm now proud of ME and not the junk I have.
This is getting a little deep. Time to retire to the couch with some ice for my knee, a glass of water, and some blueberries in milk.
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