Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas was really nice. Spent the Eve with my mom, my brother and my aunt and uncle. Had too much brie and too much wine, but we had a really nice night. Santa brought me a new stock pot! Wahoo! Christmas Day was spent at my fiance's parents' house with their family. We had a really nice time. Again, too much brie and wine, but a nice day. We had brunch - *after* a "small" breakfast of pancakes and sausage and rum cake at my dad's. HOLY MOLY. So there were two days of just absolutely ridiculous eating, with absolutely NO self-control. But I had a really nice time.
I am slowly easing back into my normal lifestyle - after taking another day off from the gym yesterday, I went this morning and had a great workout. Ate a bit too much today, but not nearly as bad as the last few days. I think I discovered what used to happen to me - I thought that since I already ate like a total hog and didn't work out, it wasn't worth it to try to get back into a routine. One day turned into two, two into three and four, into a week... well, you get the picture. My Holiday Eating Season lasted WAY past Christmas and New Years!
But not this year. This year, I am armed with Spark Friends and Spark Knowledge. I know that three days of eating like a pig will not make me gain 30 pounds back. I know that picking myself up and heading out to the gym, drinking all my water, and tossing food into the trash will get me back on track. In fact, I am ready to throw some food away tomorrow - we stocked up on fresh fruit and other good foods today - no real need to have tons of cheese and creamed chipped beef on hand. However, I *did* discover that marscarpone (sp) cheese and cherry jelly on a Hob Nob is a DELICIOUS snack. I might keep the marscarpone around for a while yet.
- drink at least 8 glasses of water
- go swimming
- put away Christmas decorations
- cross some phone calls off my to-do list
Thursday, December 24, 2009
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Spark gave to me:
Twelve months of tracking
Eleven thousand fitness minutes
Ten (times three!) pounds lost
Nine glasses of water a day
Eight 5Ks run
Seven days a week of goal-meeting
Six trophies for points
Five log-in points!
Four support teams
Three healthy meals a day
Two treats a week
And a healthy and happy new me!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my wonderful Spark Buddies! Couldn't have done it without you!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I've been sick and hurting and lazy, so I haven't been a gym regular in about two weeks. Eek! Yesterday I felt good to go - I woke up early, got a great workout in, and then thought to myself "I really should weigh myself." Ugh. Two weeks of hardly any gym? Christmas cookies? Sickness? Got on the scale and... I nearly fell off! I actually was down at my previous low! I didn't gain any weight. huh. So that was a nice start to the week.
I can see how lots of people (myself included) put off the gym this time of year. Cookies to bake, presents to wrap, cleaning to do... it was so easy for me to say "One day of skipping the gym won't hurt." But soon it turned into a week... and then I was sick, so it turned into *another* week... If I wouldn't have sucked it up yesterday, I KNOW that it would have turned into "well I can just hold off until the new year. Then I'll get back into it." I nipped that right in the bud!
Two more days of school until break... I am looking forward to the holiday craziness to be over and the relaxing to begin. Can't wait to take some time for myself and get some important stuff done.
Thank you to everyone for being so supportive in my last blog about moving - it's a risk and I'm a little anxious about it, but I think we are making the right decision. We're starting to look at jobs and apartments in Vancouver; we are really excited! It's going to be such an adventure! I never knew I had this desire for all this change - I really think that by using Spark I discovered a lot about my true self.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I've certainly been getting my share of thinking these last few days!
When I was younger, I always felt as if I was more like my mom than my dad. I was happy with this - she spent her money when she wanted to, she was very close to her family, and she knew a ton of people wherever we went. My dad? "No way," I thought. He cut coupons, wanted to save his money, and while he talked to his family, they lived in different areas of the country. As I grew up I was very happy. I liked being close to my family, I liked spending my money when I wanted to...
About three years ago my fiance and I moved a bit away from our families. Only about 60 miles, but it's farther away than I had ever been, even for college. I have really gotten a chance to think about what is important to me, without having family pressure. (I never realized that this pressure was there until I moved away.) I decided I really liked getting involved in causes I believed in, running, being fit, saving money, living simply... things that I never thought would ever be a part of me. Things that really are more like... my dad! Who'd have thunk?
Fast forward to this holiday season. I have really discovered myself... I am confident in who I've become, and I finally feel as if I have defined myself. I know exactly who I am. This me is not anything like I was in the past. I think this is difficult for my mom to take in, or maybe even for me to take in, too. I feel like I'm not as close to my mom anymore. Today she called to ask what I wanted for Christmas - my aunt and uncle were going shopping and they wanted to know - and when I told her I really didn't know, she sounded annoyed. It was just weird. She also asked how I was, and I told her I was sick. I took a sick day yesterday, and I woke up with a cough and some chest pain today so I took another sick day and went to the doctor and got some meds. When I told her this, she said "oh, really?" like she was reprimanding me for taking two sick days in a row. I felt like a little kid. Like I had to justify being sick.
How do I get over this? I know I don't need my mom's permission to do stuff, but I just feel like in some way I do.
My honey and I want to move to a city in the summer. We want a smaller place, we don't want to own a home right now, we want to be close to more culture and fun stuff, and we want to live a little "greener" by getting by on one car and a couple of bikes. We have been looking at Philadelphia, Toronto, Vancouver, and Portland. Philly is closest, by far, to my family. My mom is not so keen on the idea.
But I called my dad to tell him of our plans, and he is supportive. He thinks while we have the chance to do it, we should.
I don't know if this sounds horrible, but I feel like I am a little healthier when I am living my own life. I love my family and I wouldn't be who I am today without them, but I feel like I can live my life when I am not feeling like I have to live up to their ideas of what I *should* be doing with my life.
How do I keep from feeling like I need permission to do everything? I don't want to disappoint my mom but I need to live my life, even if it means moving kinda far away for a while.
Sigh... 'tis the season.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Today is a sick day. Last night I felt just awful, and today is not much better. I've been living on the couch and enjoying my Nyquil.
Sunday was brunch at my mom's house. My fiance and his parents were there; we had a really nice time. The drive down and back was not so good - a bit icy and dark. But since I drive slow anyway, we made it just fine. The visit made me think a lot - how I eat now is a lot LOT different than I used to eat. So of course, I noticed some habits at brunch. Made me not miss being younger.
- Had on my skinny jeans (because, dammit, I can finally *wear* skinny jeans!), and my mom and I were talking and she said something to the effect of "well you certainly can't go any tighter" with the tone of "you are just about spilling out of those" which is totally not true. The waist is a little loose, and the legs have plenty of room in them. I was instantly transported back to my younger days when my mom would say things like "You're a 14 trying to fit into a 4"; "Well it *almost* fits," and various other comments that made me feel like a whale. I was so sad inside. It's those kinds of comments that I had put out of my mind. When she said that, I couldn't help but think of them again.
- I have a serious problem with Jenny Craig. I think it's crazy that people pay that much money for pre-packaged food and a weekly weigh-in. My mom is one of those crazy people. She has lost weight with Jenny Craig (well who wouldn't, when you can only eat 1200 calories a day?), but on Sunday I saw a real reason why those programs don't work. They don't teach you anything other than how to open cans and boxes. We had Monkey Bread for brunch (a really gooey cinnamon bread - yum) and there was some left over. As I was getting ready to leave, I saw my mom just picking at the bread. All I could think was "OMG does she know how many calories she just ate?" I knew that because Spark taught me to really look at my food. Knowledge is power. Most diet programs don't have people eating real food, so as soon as they are presented with something other than the pre-packaged stuff, nobody knows how much they are really eating.
But anyway, there is some happy. Yesterday I went to the dentist to pick up my new braces and both the dentist and her assistant asked me if I lost weight. Wahoo! I haven't really, but it would seem that the extra strength training I'm doing is paying off in how I look. Yay!
I have some homemade chicken noodle soup tonight, courtesy of my honey. He made some for me last night when I felt crappy, and I have some leftover for tonight. I'm so looking forward to eating it. SO much better than a can!
back to the couch for some TV, nap, and water.
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