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Junk Food - 2, Me - 0

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

I don't know what came over me today. A parent brought in a tray of cookies and I just couldn't help but eat WAY too many of them. It was a little ridiculous. I have to take out my braces to eat, and usually I think "it's not worth it to take them out" but this morning, apparently it was. I just couldn't stop eating them. Finally I had to say to myself "this is enough! You are better than this." But not before I ate a whole meal's worth of calories in mediocre cookies.
Then tonight. Ugh. I went to the store to buy some Tapatio and chocolate squares for my honey, and the chip aisle just called to me. I couldn't resist it. I bought the smaller bag of chips, and about 5 minutes ago, as I checked my Spark stuff, I practically inhaled the bag of chips. ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

Today was a pretty big failure for me, eating-wise. I don't know the last time I felt so out of control... I couldn't even take a minute to think before I put food in my mouth. My stomach is SO not happy right now and I'm disappointed that I did what I did.

But we hop back on the horse. So despite my total calorie overload today, I am going to list positives.

I drank a lot of water, including hot tea. It's really helping me get over my cold.
Didn't stop at the state store for wine. It's supposed to snow a lot here tonight, and that usually means a night of wine for me. But I *did* think about this - I knew I ate crazy cookies and I knew I was in for a bag of chips so I thought "good lord I don't need any MORE empty calories." For what *that's* worth.
I am getting back on track RIGHT NOW by making a bowl of oatmeal for dinner and drinking a very large glass of water as I type this.
After my dinner I am going to plan the rest of my week as best I can. A lack of planning this weekend into the beginning of this week has set me up for failure. As long as I work on planning, I can really get back on track.
When I went in to see my doctor yesterday, he said "holy cow you've lost a lot of weight." Wahoo!
I went to yoga tonight and it was good.

Off to put my hot cereal together... I'm thinking a diced apple, a little brown sugar and some cinnamon. And then off to plan for the week!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TORTUETOO 2/10/2010 10:15AM

    Ahh, we all have days like this, don't we? Keeps us real, I guess. I think the important part is that you were aware of it and that you're going forward with a plan. I think you're doing great - keep up the good work! emoticon

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HELLAVAHC 2/10/2010 6:34AM

    There must be something in the air- I felt like this, too! Guess we gotta suck it up and start fresh today.

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COOPSM 2/10/2010 4:30AM

    Carrie---you are doing great---even the Dr. said so...that was great huh?? Today is a news day!!!
What does the week look like??

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EATNBOOGERS 2/10/2010 12:13AM

    Hey, I had a day a bit like yours! (In my case, I was thoroughly cleaning out the fridge and freezer, and I found a few last tucked away Christmas cookies in the freezer... and unlike yours, they *were* good! I had them with tea! ;-) ... and I ate a bit too much cheese with dinner.) Ah well... there will be days like these. As long as the next day we return to normal....

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CFMOSS 2/9/2010 9:35PM

    I know I should not laugh -- but you are so real. Thanks for sharing not only the ups, successes and positives of your journey, but also the other episodes which bring frustration. You are doing a fabulous job. Keep up the good work and thanks again for your real life.

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DSCHONDOG 2/9/2010 9:05PM


These snowy days in the northeast are a bit tough. I'm glad you had your yoga class to go to, to deep breathe and recoup. Tomorrow is another day and you can redeem the time. The ball's in your court!

I'm with you,

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GOALIEGRANDMA3 2/9/2010 8:20PM

    Some days are like this. We all have had them, if we are truthful.

Just start anew right now, and do not swell on what went on before.

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    That was me last week, I guess we all go through that every once and a while.

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BOBBYD31 2/9/2010 7:49PM

    tomorrow is a new day. put cookies and chips are in the past. (mine was spice cake with lots of icing :(

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PINKCOCONUT 2/9/2010 7:35PM

    Well at least you're back on track now! You can't always be your perfect self! ;) And I'll have another glass of wine, just for you!

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FRESHSTART028 2/9/2010 7:33PM

    Your comment about yourself, "Today was a pretty big failure for me, eating-wise." I don't believe is true. Today you fell down, but did not fail, because you were able to still make decisions. No wine, only more empty calories, you went to yoga, and you planned out your week for better eating.

Remember it is not an "all or nothing" proposition. It is all things in moderation consideration.

Also there is no failure if you learn something about yourself, even if you have to learn the same lesson over and over again.

So be kind to yourself. What you think of yourself matters the most.



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SMILEE_EYES 2/9/2010 7:30PM

    It's can't be perfect at it all the time...somethings bound to happen sometime. The great thing is that you are picking yourself up again and not giving up!
I had a horrible eating day last Friday. I ate some fast food...and I never do. It wasn't just a was a crispy fried burrito with tater tots...ahhh!!! And to finish it off, I had a small bag of M&M's. What was I thinking? I have no clue. I never, ever eat like that. But, I think a lot had to do with it. I had been working for 15 hours straight, I didn't eat very much throughout the day and I was exhausted. So, next time....better planning on my part.
You're doing great! That is awesome that your doc was so surprised! It feels great when someone notices! emoticon

Enjoy your oatmeal!

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    Birthday cake and pizza going on here.

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Tired Tuesday

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Woke up yesterday to a nasty sore throat and my right nostril and eye running like faucets. Of course my *left* side was all stopped up. Bleh. Went to the doc to rule out strep throat (I am going to sing this weekend in NYC and I CAN NOT be sick. I paid a lot of $$$ and they don't give refunds!) and got some heavy duty decongestant and cough meds. I guess it's working because the faucet eye is just about gone.

Haven't worked out since Friday... did circuit training at the chiro on Friday (they have a tough new core routine), skipped the gym on Saturday because of snow, wasn't feeling good on Sunday, and was sick yesterday. I am determined to get to my yoga class tonight, but it's all going to depend on what this snow storm decides to do. The class is from 5:15-6:00 - I'm keeping an eye on the radar today.

Bought tickets for the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMA - we are going on Friday afternoon after rehearsal. I'm REALLY looking forward to the city... I love going into New York. I have a little money I'm taking along for some shopping. I *still* can't believe how much I love shopping! I don't spend a ton of money, but I can finally enjoy trying stuff on. Wahoo! There are two cute shirts at Anthropologie that I have my eyes on... there is a store close to the hotel in NYC so I might pop over on Thursday when I get to the city. I'm a little bummed that I can't run - won't be able to do a Central Park run, but we'll be doing a lot of walking. My favorite part of the city is being able to walk everywhere.

I have been craving brownies for DAYS and I finally decided to do something about it yesterday. Found a great recipe and adjusted the amounts for the two squares of chocolate that we had. Ended up being just what I needed - put the brownies in three little dishes to bake. One plain, one walnut, and one peanut butter. Honey and I ate all of them yesterday. Lucky for us, I didn't make a whole batch and they were not very thick. Didn't enter it into the nutrition tracker, but I have a feeling that they weren't *horribly* bad. Anyway, they were super delish and it took care of my brownie craving.

Happy Tuesday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATNBOOGERS 2/10/2010 12:14AM

    Hope you're feeling completely better soon! Your brownie solution was actually very *smart* too, y'know?

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ROGUE_1 2/9/2010 10:03PM

    Hope you feel better soon! Have you ever tried using smashed bananas or apple sauce in your brownie recipes? I just read an article today that suggested to use either of those 2 in place of half the amount of butter in the recipe and thought that was quite interesting.

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BOBBYD31 2/9/2010 2:18PM

    hope you feel better soon, you can always take a short jog so you can say you ran in central park

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GSDMIKE 2/9/2010 1:38PM

    Fingers crossed that the meds get the job done. Have a great trip.

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SOUTHGOINGZAX 2/9/2010 10:52AM

    I hope you feel better soon! Enjoy NY and those two cute shirts!

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PINKCOCONUT 2/9/2010 7:57AM

    Oh man! Let me know about the exhibit! I LOVE Tim Burton! And I agree, I've surprised myself at how I like shopping now that I can fit into stuff!

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TWINSMOMMY607 2/9/2010 7:42AM

    I'm sending you chicken soup thoughts!! Have fun in the city, it is one my favorite places to visit.

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HELLAVAHC 2/9/2010 6:47AM

    I like the idea of putting brownies into separate dishes- might have to try that for portion control!

I really hope you feel better soon- super-jealous that you are going to NY! I miss being able to do that!

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LEARNING2LUVME 2/9/2010 6:43AM

    I woke up yesterday feeling like I'm coming down with something. Hope you're feeling 100% by the weekend!! (I've never been to NYC and hope to go one day soon.)

The brownies sound good. How did you make them?

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    Take care of yourself. Consider a good hot steam bath...sweat it out.

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Oh yeah, it's Super Bowl Sunday...

Sunday, February 07, 2010

This football season was different for me than previous ones. I used to love parking myself on the couch on a Sunday to watch football. This season, I couldn't sit still long enough to enjoy more than one quarter at a time. Is it my new Sparky life? I always felt like I should be *doing* something - laundry, planning out my week's food, vacuuming...
I know it's important to take time to relax, and I do take time to relax, but it's more fulfilling because the relaxing time is more of a treat now. (That might not have made any sense, but it made sense in my head.)
So this morning I woke up and kind of forgot that it was Super Bowl Sunday. We aren't going to a party, we're not planning on staying awake until all hours of the night, but honey did joke that he was going to check out the Wal-Mart website to see how many bags of Doritos we should stock up on for tonight.

I posted an ad on Craigslist for a mattress set - free, as long as they came and picked it up. I got a lot of replies! One of them told me he'd come this morning; it turned into "maybe this morning" and then "I don't know when I'm going to get there." I replied to a different e-mail, one who left her phone number and didn't have grammatical errors.
I really like the idea of someone being able to use my old stuff so I don't have to throw it away, but I got just a little bit of a weird feeling from a few replies.
So anyway, the girl I called is coming by tonight to pick up the set. It's already downstairs, blocking one of the entrances to the kitchen, so I am really hoping that she actually comes to get it! At this point, I am just tired of looking at it.

Honey and I went grocery shopping today, stocked up on some good veg. We're having spaghetti squash with homemade marinara tonight and a good strip steak. Yum! He has been so amazingly supportive of me on this Spark Journey... he is constantly telling me how proud he is of me and how good I'm looking. We both never imagined that this is the kind of couple we'd be after almost six years together!

I'm off to get my cup of tea... My nose is a little stuffy today and I'm desperately trying to keep a bad sickness away for the weekend when I go sing in NYC. I've already paid to go and I can't get a refund... a few years ago I was supposed to go sing and I came down with the flu, so I'm going to be guzzling the tea this week.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROGUE_1 2/9/2010 10:00PM

    I love where you wrote:
"I know it's important to take time to relax, and I do take time to relax, but it's more fulfilling because the relaxing is more of a treat now"...

I feel the same way, and can absolutely relate to this. It appalls me to think about how lazy I was, and about the choices I made in the past. It's fantastic that you've come such a long way and I'm quite proud of you. It's also wonderful that your honey is so supportive of you! Is he pretty healthy and fit as well? It's so important to have a strong support system, and I'm positive he's enjoying all the fruits of your labor as much as you are! Do you guys work out together?

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RUNNINGWILD 2/8/2010 9:20PM

    Sending the "cold symptoms go away" vibe your way. Have fun in NYC.

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CFMOSS 2/8/2010 7:58AM

    Hope you had a good Super Bowl Sunday even without the couch potato focus. You continue to do a great job.

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    Stay well ... tea with honey and lemon.

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EATNBOOGERS 2/7/2010 7:01PM

    I'd say that my form of "relaxing" is often active... I love to go for a nice walk with the fam. But I know what you mean about football--I totally don't get it. I'd rather do than watch. (Okay, I do like a nice costume drama via Netflix...) ;-)

Glad your man is supportive. That is a positive sign for the long haul. It's been almost 25 years since I met my dh, and I can say that we've been through more than I think we ever could have imagined. Flexibility is key!

Get your rest and take care of yourself this week!

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Pretending it's a snowy day

Saturday, February 06, 2010

The snow storm that hit the east coast stopped short of the Poconos. We only got about 1 inch of snow last night. I was planning all week for what I would do while being snowed it, and since I'm not, I'm just pretending I am and getting some random stuff done.
Here's the Done List so far:

Posted an ad on Craigslist - we need to start getting rid of some of this extra furniture we have.
Put some CDs on iTunes - I have a big pile of CDs ready to go to my mom and brother to see if they want any.
Packed up some pictures - have to "depersonalize the house"
Balanced my checkbook and found out that I made a $160 error - in my favor! I have more money than I thought I did. Wahoo!
Finished and sent in my weekly grad class assignment

To-Do Yet:
Finish the CD transfer
Remove nail polish - new polish on toes
Vacuum the downstairs
Take a nap
Burn CDs for school musical
Practice Carmina (1 more week! Wahoo!)
Drink a lot more water

It's been a productive day so far. I just need to stop studying my to-do list and DO my to-do list.

Off to get some more stuff done...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GROOVYCHICK9 2/6/2010 6:54PM

    I am shoveling out from about 24 inches or so. Our total was double what they thought. I did get some stuff done but mostly just playing with my kids in the snow. Oh, and snow shoveling counts as cardio! That was a bonus. Good for you getting some stuff done.

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EATNBOOGERS 2/6/2010 5:54PM

    Good for you--you're getting things done, and chipping away at it! :-)

(What color on the toes? I've found a brand of polish that is supposedly very safe, and I'm lusting after a brown glittery shade...)

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CFMOSS 2/6/2010 4:11PM

    You're having a productive day - I shoveled our snow - only had about a foot but it was more than enough especially when i shovel the parking spaces in front of the house and the snow plow comes by and....grrrrrr...... any way enjoy your day.

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IRIE_KEY 2/6/2010 4:11PM

    You are very fortunate, but I love the idea of a snow day to get things done! Great way to tick off that TTD list.

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JOPAPGH 2/6/2010 3:56PM

    No pretending here! We got over 20 inches. Sure is quiet out. Off to run my snow mile...

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    We got 27inches and I am not sure the kids are ever going back to school. Nothing on my list got done because all I am doing is shoveling snow, enjoy your productivity.

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CASSIOEPIA 2/6/2010 3:17PM

    Great use of your *snow-day*!

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HELLAVAHC 2/6/2010 3:14PM

    Don't you just love a good to-do list? I like to make mine as detailed as possible so I REALLY feel accomplished checking tons of stuff off... Oh yeah, I have to get back to doing mine now, too. Oops!

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One of "those" women...

Friday, February 05, 2010

I LOVE my Pilates classes. There was a time when I used to look at women who took Pilates with that kind of look that was like "Oh, *those* kind of women do Pilates... ridiculous." "Those" kind of women were fit and happy. I was not one of "those" women.

But now, here I am taking Pilates classes, yoga classes... all of the classes that "those" women take. And you know what? I think am one of "those" kind of women. That woman who goes to the gym because she likes it - a lot. The woman who actually *enjoys* putting on workout clothes instead of a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants. The woman who looks in the mirror in the Pilates studio and thinks "wow, today I see a muscle" or, "my form is good tonight" instead of "wow, you can really see my gut in this shirt." I used to look at "those" women with a mix of jealousy and disdain. "Geez, look at her in that shirt... it's so small." "Must be nice to spend all day at the gym." I saw one of "those" women last night and thought "wow, her back muscles are amazing. She must work out really smart!"

I used to look at "those" women go into J.Crew and try on pants - they slipped on with no problem. I was lucky if I could buy a t-shirt there. "Oh, look at "those" women trying on that stuff. Pshaw." J. Crew is now one of my favorite places to shop and I'm working on a size 4 there. I'm one of "those" women who is not embarrassed to ask the sales person for my size in something.

So I guess that I am really one of "those" women now. I love the gym, and I don't remember EVER loving clothes shopping the way I do now.
I still get the feeling of "I wonder if everyone is looking at me - the fat girl in the room," but it's slowly getting to be less frequent.

And with that, this one of "those" women is going to the pool to get some laps in.

Happy Friday!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EATNBOOGERS 2/6/2010 12:37PM

    Good for you!

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ROGUE_1 2/5/2010 4:53PM

    What a positive, upbeat, fabulous blog! Your happiness really shines through, and I am absolutely 100% excited and thrilled that you are one of THOSE women :) And a size 4 to boot?! Woohoo, amazing!

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CFMOSS 2/5/2010 2:13PM

    Last night at body sculpting we had a funny conversation about ladies enjoying the presence of a tricep or bicep muscle and showing it off once and awhile. We're not too much into workout clothes - but oh is it nice that I can put them on now and look good:) Enjoy your day.

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GROOVYCHICK9 2/5/2010 12:21PM

    You rock on girl. You are one of those women. You always were. You just found her again.


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LILMISSRED79 2/5/2010 11:53AM


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CHANCE0719 2/5/2010 10:11AM

    What a great post! I love how your attitude changed so positively along with your body! emoticon

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MELNAEGELI 2/5/2010 10:02AM

    Now everyone is looking at you BECAUSE you are one of "those" women!


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CUBANJELLY 2/5/2010 8:41AM

    Lookin' in the mirror, seeing one of "those women"! LOL

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PINKCOCONUT 2/5/2010 7:44AM

    Yeah!!! It's funny what you notice now with a new perspective, eh? I stare at one of my spinning instructors incessantly because I'm in awe of her abs! She's super ripped! I would've hated her three years ago...

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HELLAVAHC 2/5/2010 7:00AM

    Love it! Your whole perspective is changing to a really positive one. I struggle with that thought a lot sometimes- do I belong in here among these skinny women? It helps to do what you talk about- looking at others in a positive light helps me look at myself that way, too.

Have a great Friday!

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LEARNING2LUVME 2/5/2010 6:19AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Awesome!! I can't wait to be one of "those" women!!!

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MITECU 2/5/2010 6:10AM

    emoticon on becoming one of "those" women.

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