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Just keep breathing...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

This big move my fiance and I are planning is a little overwhelming for me. I've taken all your wonderful advice and I've started to pack up some stuff, get some things fixed, and take little steps to making the summer *that* much easier. I can't do it alone, so of course I've asked honey to help with some tasks. Honey needs a little (well, a big) push to get things done. While I have been cleaning out my stuff and giving a lot to Goodwill and posting it on Freecycle (the mattress is gone! Wahoo!), honey has been content to appear to wait until the last minute to get things done.
We don't really fight; we have small disagreements, but nothing really escalates past us giving each other the silent treatment until we're ready to talk. One of the last of these episodes was something about him not getting the new sink put in and me not calling our realtor. I was supposed to call him to ask him "when do people come to the house after it's listed?" (The answer was "they could come the same day.") This means we have a lot to do before we list the house.
Honey and I don't use the words "I told you so," even when one of us does something stupid. I really appreciate this. But I REALLY feel like "I TOLD YOU SO." As in, "honey, you should start getting cleaned up for open houses." I am a little nervous about this experience turning into something that it shouldn't... I make tons of lists, honey *sometimes* does what I leave him to do. Today he was asked to take some stuff to Goodwill - I told him how much I need his help for this. I am only one person and I can only do so much. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Our realtor is really wonderful. I told him I was a little overwhelmed, and he reminded me that I can only do one thing at a time. He's a really great guy and I'm very thankful to have him on our side.

So small steps it is.
Today's goals:

Drink at least 4 Siggs of water (my body said THANK YOU!!! yesterday for me drinking so much water)
Go swimming after school (even though I have a lot to do with the house, I need to remember to take care of myself, too.)
Bring home two boxes from school and fill them with DVDs, videos, and other various items from bookshelves in the house.
Vacuum one room upstairs
Stick to the eating plan (which is "breakfast for dinner")

I think that's it for today. I don't want to overwhelm myself even more. If I get more done, great. But these are things I MUST get done today.

Yesterday's goals were all met. Snow didn't come, so I made it to my yoga class. It was totally relaxing and I felt really good after the class. Lesson learned: amidst all the craziness, don't forget to take care of ME.

Lunch is packed, swimming gear is ready to go... off to get a big glass of water.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOUTHGOINGZAX 2/17/2010 1:26PM

    Lots of good advice here - moving and selling a house is about as stressful as it gets...and men sometimes (not to generalize, but many men, anyway) don't "see" all the stuff that needs to get done - they can be fine with a certain amount of disorder, while women (again in general) tend to go over-anal about cleanliness and tidiness, because we *know* the women coming to look at our home will open our closets and look behind the toilets.

When I had to sell my house, my mom and I worked until 5 minutes before the first showing, cleaning and painting and organizing...the truth is, you will probably never feel 100% ready for that first showing, but you need to set a deadline for yourself and get the house as ready as it can be by that date. I rented a storage locker for things I didn't want to give away but didn't know what to do with - it was helpful to just be able to stash stuff.

Anyway, you guys will get through it - it just may not be your fiance's strong suit...have him do something like bake cookies or a fancy dessert for your open houses - everyone loves a house that smells like cookies!

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CAMROLA 2/17/2010 12:55PM

    Moving is stressful, but it's a great process to get rid of the old--and reminisce in the process--and welcome the new. I hope your move goes well and welcome you to New York, from Brooklyn!

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EATNBOOGERS 2/17/2010 11:43AM

    I have found (after many many years with my husband, some easier than others!) that learning to work through things like listing the house and moving are critical for the relationship. Not every couple has to follow the same pattern--there's not one recipe for getting through stressful times--but finding your groove for this stuff is just as important as the more fun day-to-day companionship and romance.

Good luck with prepping the house, listing it, selling it, and moving. It's all stressful, but it's also an adventure!

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GOALIEGRANDMA3 2/17/2010 11:16AM

    I must have missed a posting or two. Are you moving to New York?

It sounds like you have things under manageable control.

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    Maybe he is overwhelmed not knowing where to begin. Have him set a timer for 15 minutes and start packing and purging. 15 minutes is done....clean up and move on with the day.

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LALAFLOWERS 2/17/2010 9:46AM

    I agree with everything above... As I just sold my house (Afer 8 months on the market.. YEAH!) and I did do everything to get it ready myself (hubby took off on a 1 week vacation, just as the upstairs needed to be painted, and emptied, so we could have new carpet laid)... I did make daily trips to good will. As I filled up a box, bag or whatever with donations, I brought it straight out to the trunk of my car. Then, on a very regular basis (daily for a while) I would make good will a stop on my errands. Luckily, it's not far out of my way for everything that I was doing. I also kept an envelop in my purse to put the receipts into.. so that I knew where they were... all that stuff is deductible at the end of the year!!!!!

And lastly... has a checklist... but what I use daily from her.... set an alarm for 15 minutes. Do what ever you have to do for 15 minutes.. then do something else.. But.. while you work.. work hard!!! So.. sorting clothes... set up your boxes.. (trash, donate, move) and start your alarm... then keep moving fast for the 15 minutes... I actually got my heart rate up!!! Plus.. when the timer when off.. I usually had boxes ready to go, and put them all where they belonged, and moved on to the next task. Got lots done that way.

Have fun.. purge lots! and enjoy the memories from all the memento's you find!

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PINKCOCONUT 2/17/2010 7:46AM

    Great idea, just wee small steps at a time. Just remember how it's all going to be when all is said and done and you're living in your awesome new place in you extra awesome new country! ;)

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LOSINGITALL4ME 2/17/2010 7:31AM

    Moving is stressful. After my last move I said never again. You sound very organized. My husband was the same way. I got very frustrated with him at times. But it all worked out. Hang tough. That's great you're remembering to take care of yourself among everything else! emoticon

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    small steps is good advice. I sure do hope the move goes well for you guys.

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CFMOSS 2/17/2010 7:15AM

    You're doing great. Moving is stressful period. I think if you take one of those stress level tests - moving is in the top five. There are planners and procrastinators and there are those who want to take everything with them. My father-in-law when he finally moved into a retirement community had to rent a storage locker. When I saw what was in the storage locker I cringed (a phone circa 1950, etc) some people just can't give away or move on so needless to say my husband does not do well giving up things -- so good luck and breathe and keep taking care of you. Have a great day - I know you will.

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JILLIANPRNCSS 2/17/2010 7:10AM

    Look online for some moving lists. They are always helpful because you just can't think of everything. Remember to keep doing things for yourself.

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Back to the real world...

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My weekend was so wonderful and we have had some snow days...
I was beginning to forget what my "real world" life was! So back to work today.
One of the nicest things about my weekend away was that I had the chance to not think about work, about school, about anything other than my time in the city. I didn't have to be The Music Teacher or The Grad Student, I could just have a great time enjoying myself. Talk about "me time"!

This also means it's back to goal-setting time. Trying on spring clothes really renewed my spirit and my vision of getting into a size 4 for the summer.

So here's what will happen today:

Drink at least 4 Siggs of water
Stick to the eating plan (I think honey is making fish and potatoes for dinner - yum!)
Yoga after school; if snow during the day makes it so that I can't get to the gym, I will do a Spark People yoga or Pilates video.
Clean a room in the house - when I was gone over the weekend, the house virtually exploded. I love my honey, but he is *not* a house cleaner. I think I came home just in the nick of time.
Call our realtor re: meeting about house. I MUST get this done today; it's the step I've kind of been scared to take - it means that our big plans are really in motion!

So that's today. I'm off to get a big glass of water before I leave for work. Lunch is packed for today and yoga clothes are packed for tonight.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PINKCOCONUT 2/17/2010 7:44AM

    Great job! Today I have to get back on track myself, spent the last four days not caring about anything I ate and not getting any other exercise other than long walks around the city!

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HELLAVAHC 2/16/2010 7:53PM

    My BF is not a cleaner either- I have to keep on top of everything or else the house really will explode! Your plan sounds great. The real world isn't so bad, right?

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EATNBOOGERS 2/16/2010 11:53AM

    I was out of sync with goals last week, but it was because of all the sickies in my house. I'm getting back in the swing of things, too!

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GSDMIKE 2/16/2010 11:27AM

    Sounds like me last week. A week in Sedona really shook things up, but here I am a week later back comfortably in my routine. Have a great day.

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NANC304 2/16/2010 8:15AM

    Have a terrific day!

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SPCHTCH76 2/16/2010 7:33AM

    Way to be positive!!! Hope you have a great day!

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I sang in Carnegie Hall!

Monday, February 15, 2010

To a sold out audience! What an awesome experience. Choruses from all over the US and Canada sang Carmina Burana under the direction of Vance George who won a Grammy for his 1995 recording of the same work. How amazing.

Rehearsals were in a hall next to Lincoln Center, and dress rehearsal was on Sunday morning at Carnegie Hall. As we walked up to the Stage Door entrance (where all the performers go in),

I saw our poster outside. Wahoo!

The performance was great and we got a standing ovation. Carnegie Hall is just an amazing place to sing - so beautiful. And now when I see performances on PBS where really famous musicians are on stage, I can picture exactly where I was standing!

Other fun things I did:
Went to the Tim Burton exhibit at the Museum of Modern Art. I could have spent all day in that museum.

I only took pictures of two artworks... I realized that it was more fulfilling for me to really study the art instead of taking pictures. Besides, the pictures are better in art books. But for your enjoyment, here are the two pics I took.

And of course, I had lots of good food. Nowhere have I found better Matzo Ball Soup than in Manhattan. And the soup at the Stage Deli was just delish. It was also giant.

It was really really really cold, so I didn't dig my camera out for much more. I couldn't take picture *in* Carnegie Hall, anyway, which would have been the best place to take pics. However, I *did* manage to secure the archival DVD for the group with whom I sing. Yippee! I can't wait for that to come.

Did some shopping; bought two CUTE shirts. I LOVED shopping. It was so wonderful to be able to fit into clothes from some of the stores in the city.
LOVED feeling thin and fit in the city. When I got a muffin for breakfast, there was no feeling of "I bet they're thinking 'why is *she* getting that giant muffin?'." I ate everything with no guilt. And believe me, there was a LOT of "everything."

Took the early bus home today and spent some quality time with my honey. We went out for sushi tonight as our belated Valentine's Day. I got right back on track with eating right; drank extra water today, spend a good hour at the gym doing some strength training, and I had lots of fruit.

Honey made some hot chocolate for our dessert (YUM-O) but I think I may have *another* apple just to get my body back from my weekend full of pastrami and pizza.

It's time for the couch and an apple. Secretly hoping for a 2-hour delay tomorrow...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IPA-RAY 2/17/2010 10:05AM


Wow! I can't imagine singing in Carnegie Hall, not even the one in Pittsburgh.

But I have eaten at Stage Deli a few times. Always good.


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PINKCOCONUT 2/17/2010 7:43AM

    Only getting to your posts now! Congrats on Carnegie and sounds like a fabulous trip!!!

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LEARNING2LUVME 2/17/2010 7:16AM


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EATNBOOGERS 2/16/2010 11:52AM

    Good for you! Glad you had a good trip, and it's nice that you're back!

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TOBEARUNNER 2/16/2010 8:18AM

    I ate at Stage Deli on a school trip from Halifax, Nova Scotia in grade 9... that was 1987, and I loved it then! Glad to hear it's still good now! :)

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    I am sooooo envious! Glad you had a wonderful performance - and isn't the Stage Deli amazing?!?!???? :)

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COOPSM 2/16/2010 7:42AM

    What an experience!!!! SOunds like a great weekend.....what kind of shirts did you buy??

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    So glad you did so well. emoticon

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 2/16/2010 2:26AM

    Carnegie Hall! Wow, what an experience! That is someplace I would like to go. I love music and just being able to listen to someone who is singing there would be wonderful.
Jane on Guam emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ETTEZEUS 2/16/2010 12:05AM

    Wow! Thanks for sharing your fantastic time with us! Love when pictures go with it.

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ONECOOKIETWO 2/16/2010 12:02AM

    This is awesome! I loved reading this blog. What a marvelous trip you've had, and how lovely to share it with us. THANK YOU! And Carmina Burana - woo hoo! That is some opening chorus, isn't it! It must've lifted you and everyone else off their feet!
And lovely that you went to the art museum, you're a girl after my own heart, thank you for including all the pics.

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GOALIEGRANDMA3 2/15/2010 10:04PM

    WOW what an incredible experience you had. You have certainly made some memories to last a lifetime.


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    What a wonderful experience! Good for you...I can just hear your excitement and joy! Now, I, too, will think of you on the stage at Carnegie Hall when I see those PBS concerts! You should post a video blog of you singing. I would love to hear you singing!

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CFMOSS 2/15/2010 9:16PM

    Wonderful -- I know I shouldn't envy - but....the whole experience sounds wonderful. Now...back to the every day world.

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CASSIOEPIA 2/15/2010 9:00PM

    What an AWESOME experience! I'm so glad you got to enjoy it (Carnegie Hall), as well as all the other things. It sounds like a divine weekend!

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MUSIC66 2/15/2010 8:56PM

    awsome, i am in a choir and we did two performances of the brahams german requime with the brisbane syphony orchestra it was great our choir has also done the messiah in 2006 with toowoomba concert orchestra got a recording of both i sing first soprano .When i was in high school i was in a mass choir with orchestra and we preformed in front of prince charles and priness di and the then premier and primister of australia on the step of the sydney opera house , i also have sung with choir in side the sydney opera house.

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HELLAVAHC 2/15/2010 8:52PM

    CONGRATS! What a weekend! I want to hear more about the clothes shopping- I am jealous!

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LINDATWIN 2/15/2010 8:41PM

    That was just fantastic ! Good for you ! emoticon

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1THING 2/15/2010 8:38PM

    WOW!!!!! Too Awesome! Congratulations! I am proud of you.

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K-DIVA 2/15/2010 8:38PM


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Thinking like, no, *as* a thin person.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

These snowy days really get me thinking. (oh no!) Last night's weather people talked about "blizzard-like" conditions. There was nothing blizzard-*like* about it. It WAS a blizzard. So anyway, the weather people's use of the word "like" stuck with me this morning. I'm upstairs putting the last of my weekend clothes into my suitcase, and I thought "you know, I am done thinking *like* a thin person. I *am* a thin person."
At first, I thought "oh my gosh am I vain or what?" But *then* I thought about one of the most important lessons I've learned on Spark - be kind to yourself. Don't treat yourself differently than you would treat someone else. So I imagined that I was someone else getting ready to go on a weekend trip - if I saw someone *else* wearing small sizes and being confident enough to wear leggings out in public (Can you believe it???), I would think "wow, they look great in that." So then I took a look in the mirror and thought "wow, I really *do* look great in this."

So back to thinking *as* a thin person. One of the challenges for me right now is being able to walk into a room or a store and not think "everyone is staring at me - the fattest girl in the room." Thin people don't think that way! Thin people walk into a place with their head high and with their body showing confidence (I know from years of observing thin people).

This weekend is a perfect time for me to try this thinking as a thin person thing. I will be in NYC - where I don't know anyone and nobody will look at me strangely as I walk into a place this new "thin"way.

This might seem a bit shallow, but at some point, I need to let go of the old me and embrace this new me. I think that keeping this image of the old me sometimes holds me back from really doing great things with the new me.

Goal for this weekend - think AS a thin person.

emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLINGDAWN 2/12/2010 8:28AM

    Well - go there and have some fantastic days - and come back and tell all the rest of your " NYC training ground".

And have fun!

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CFMOSS 2/11/2010 5:19PM

    It is hard to change my mental self view - but it's worth it. Sometimes at body sculpting I still look in the mirror and don't recognize myself (and it's not just because I'm getting older) I really enjoyed going to a wedding in December wearing a little black dress which really showed off my arms and legs with red shoes -- oh yeah.

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GOALIEGRANDMA3 2/11/2010 12:31PM

    I know of what you speak. It took me a long time to not even feel I was in somebody's else's body after losing 50#. For a long time I felt it was just temporary, like so many times before Spark and ww.

But now I believe, like you have come to discover, I can think AS a thin person and that will help keep me this way.

Have a emoticon emoticon time in New York.

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LEARNING2LUVME 2/11/2010 12:17PM

    That's a great goal!!

I love how you looked at yourself as you would look at someone else wearing the same outfit. What a great thing to do!!!

Have a wonderful trip and an AMAZING time!

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SOUTHGOINGZAX 2/11/2010 10:43AM


I think it's wonderful that your perception of your self is changing - I think too often, people stay stuck with the mental image of themselves at their worst....because for whatever reason, it's easier to think of yourself in a negative way than a positive way.

I know that I am guilty of that.

I hope you have a great time in NY!

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JWENZEL723 2/11/2010 10:37AM

    not shallow at all!!! i think we could all take a lesson from you about how to be kind to ourselves.

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EATNBOOGERS 2/11/2010 10:29AM

    Enjoy yourself! Lot of truth in this blog entry.

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TIFFANIE150 2/11/2010 10:27AM

    Yeah. I agree.

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CARPENSM 2/11/2010 9:54AM

    I think this is a fantastic goal! I have that feeling sometimes where I think..."these people don't know me, they don't know that I've lost all that weight...they just think I've always looked like this." Its important to remember. Thanks for your encouraging words!! I'm gonna remember this next time I'm having one of those days where I'm treating myself worse than I would others.


And enjoy your trip to NYC, best place to shop for the thin you!!!!

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HELLAVAHC 2/11/2010 9:46AM

    It is a mental battle- not just physical. I bet you are rocking those leggings. I hope you have a wonderful time and enjoy every minute, you thin person, you!

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PINKCOCONUT 2/11/2010 9:44AM

    Oh my gosh do I know the feeling! I'm not exactly thin yet but I'm no longer the fattest person in the room and I STILL act like it! I think this is one aspect of losing weight most of us didn't think would happen! LOL

NYC this weekend is YOUR weekend to shine woman! You're going to look great, feel great, sing great and BE great!

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ETTEZEUS 2/11/2010 9:34AM

    Have a great time! Enjoy strutting around in those leggings.

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    Hope your singing in NY goes well. Hope you are feeling much better.

Think emoticon

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MAGPIE17 2/11/2010 9:30AM

    Have an awesome time in NYC being a thin person! Great job turning your thinking around! :)

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A Perfect Snowy Day

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Up until today, the snow storms have missed us. But today - woohoo snow! It's so calming to watch. I have a snow day, honey has a snow day...
I have moved on from yesterday's eating debacle and am back on track. breakfast was oats with vanilla soy milk, apples and cinnamon; lunch was shrimp cocktail and a vegetarian tostada (fresh corn tortillas, fresh avocado and tomato, some refried beans... YUM), and a little Greek yogurt with honey and banana for a sweet. I am stuffed! Yesterday is but a distant memory to me now. I have moved on from the cookies and chips and am ready to get some fresh fruits and veg back into my body. I think honey is going to make some kind of chicken soup tonight; I think I'm going to throw together a large delicious salad for an appetizer.

Just got back in from shoveling a little bit. I figured that shoveling a little bit now would make tomorrow much less daunting, especially since the heaviest snow is still falling. Was only out there for 20 minutes and SP's fitness tracker estimated that I torched about 120 calories. Wahoo! I may go out in a couple hours again, before it gets too dark, so I can burn some more calories.

Moved some furniture this morning, did some vacuuming, and joined the local Freecycle network. Grad paper is sent, I'm drinking lots of water, and I'm all packed for NYC this weekend. Honey is taking a nap (he was skiing this morning) so I'm going to throw in some laundry and maybe go through my purses and get some ready to go to Goodwill (or maybe post them on Freecycle!).

Off to do some laundry...

Have a Super Sparky Snowy Day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GSDMIKE 2/10/2010 9:51PM

    Haha, packed for the weekend already. You are either the most organized person I know, or the most eager. :-)

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CAMROLA 2/10/2010 7:30PM

    What a wonderful day. Have a great trip to my fabulous NYC. Hope the snow melts for you!

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GOALIEGRANDMA3 2/10/2010 6:21PM

    Snow days for a teacher are really a treat. I remember them fondly.

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    Wow you got lots done on your snow day! I would have just laid in bed all day.. We don't get snow days here :(

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GONE2014 2/10/2010 3:25PM

    Sounds like a productive day for you! We had lots of rain yesterday but at least we don't need to shovel it!!

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PINKCOCONUT 2/10/2010 3:22PM

    Woo! What a productive day you're having! We didn't get NEARLY as much as snow as you guys. No snow day for me! :(

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CFMOSS 2/10/2010 3:00PM

    Sounds like a wonderful day - the snow is peaceful as it falls until I have to shovel it again (bah humbug) but I truly have burned lots of calories. Enjoy the unexpected treat of a free unscheduled day with #1 honey.

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JOPAPGH 2/10/2010 2:51PM

    Kid's school called off for the fourth straight day tomorrow.

I have lots of snow I would be glad to send your way...

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