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Snacky

Saturday, August 14, 2010

This blog is a little girly, so there's your warning.

Today is a really weird day. I don't feel sad, I am actually in a good mood, but I just don't feel like doing anything. I feel a little tired, I took a 2-hour nap, and then I watched a movie. I am headed back to the couch with an English muffin in a minute.

I just started the pill on Sunday. I had been on Depo-Provera (a shot) for years, but my doctor wanted me to switch. Depo-Provera has been shown to cause bone loss, and switching to the Pill will help me get some bone density back. So I don't know if this is the new medication that I'm getting used to or not... I'm guessing it could be; one of the side effects is slight nausea within the first week or two, and I am definitely feeling that... it's very slight, but it's definitely there.

Another weird thing about today is that I'm totally craving carbs. After my normal breakfast, my lunch consisted of chips and salsa, and I just had some more. I've really been upping my protein lately, and maybe I'm not getting enough carbs...?

All I know is that today is weird. This kind of laziness doesn't happen very often... I'm not concerned yet, it's only been today, after all, but I am definitely going to pay attention to my body and see if this turns into a pattern.

That's all, it's back to the couch.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOUTHGOINGZAX 8/16/2010 3:51PM

    I'm actually contemplating stopping the pill entirely - having been on it for most of my adult life, so who know what I might actually be like?

I did try the Nuvaring, and I loved the convenience of it - problem is, it made my hair fall out, and a lot of high-androgen index birth control can do that to you if you have a genetic predisposition for it - a lot of OB/GYNs won't tell you that because they don't really know, but there is a ton of stuff online about it. Anyway, b.c.p.s can definitely impact your metabolism and influence your cravings.

Awesome fitness minutes, too, by the way!

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COOPSM 8/15/2010 7:34PM

    Carrie---could be the pill...keep an eye on things...could just be the bod getting used to the hormones...

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BOBBYD31 8/14/2010 7:08PM

    LOL it is they guys commenting on you blog. hey we all have the carb days and we all have the lazy days so don't worry you'll be back at it soon.

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GOALIEGRANDMA3 8/14/2010 6:44PM

    I believe now and then our bodies just tell us something else is needed. As long as those "needs" don't become a habit again, I see nothing wrong with a day of babying yourself.

Be sure to let us know when you start to feel better. emoticon

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GSDMIKE 8/14/2010 6:36PM

    Kinda craving carbs too, so maybe it's just the sitting on the couch and watching movies. You wouldn't happen to be watching movies on Lifetime movie network would you. I'd love to have a good excuse to ask Sherry to change the channel...

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DREBENEZER 8/14/2010 6:33PM

    Nothing girly there...we all have those days...it's normal. We are not rabbits that can eat all our veggies all the time and we are not robots that can keep going day after day without a recharge. Enjoy your day off and relish it. Take two if you have to and come back strong...btw, have you looked into the "ring" - might be better if you are worried about the pill.

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Waiting...

Saturday, August 14, 2010

This morning, our group of neighbors was supposed to meet with a siding representative. This meeting was supposed to happen at 10:00. It's now 11:12, and still no meeting. I do *not* like waiting around. It gives me a bad feeling... The most annoying part is that I would much rather be sitting around in my sweatpants, but I don't want to go to the meeting looking like a schlep. Today is definitely a schlep around day... it's overcast, a little cool, and I have a food hangover from last night's ice cream.

I think today is also going to be a new goal-setting day. My fitness minutes are coming along nicely, but the calories burned number is not where I planned it to be. And this is ok with me; right now I'm going through a little workout phase where I am enjoying my yoga and pilates classes. Not the most calorie-burning workouts, but they feel really good. So I think I'm going to adjust my calorie setting today.

Bought a French press yesterday (FINALLY!) after hemming and haw-ing for a few months. I loved the whole experience of making my coffee today. I even got out the nice coffee cup with the saucer to enjoy it. I felt a little pampered.

Today I will:
Drink a ton of water
Adjust my calories burned to more accurately reflect the current reality
Clean up a little bit
Relax (there has been a relaxing trend lately... I think I'm trying to get in all the relaxing I can before school starts. And today is that kind of day.)
Plan next week's meals

Keeping my fingers crossed that the siding guy shows up soon... my sweatpants are calling!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATZZABELLA 8/14/2010 3:05PM

    You would still look good dressed as a schlep! How frustrating I hope that guy finally made it. Enjoy your weekend!

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CHEPRBYTHEDOZN 8/14/2010 1:12PM

    How utterly annoying!!! He'd better have a very good reason for keeping all of you waiting!! GGGRRRR....
Enjoy your weekend!

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It's Friday...

Friday, August 13, 2010

and that means tonight is New Weekly Goal Night. I am going to take some time this evening to look at my nutrition from this week and see how I'm doing. Overall, I feel pretty good about it. I think there are a few things I'll tweak, but I'm not going to do a huge overhaul of goals. I am determined to stick with my August plan for the entire month and see what happens.

Today:
Drink tons of water (I've been slacking a little bit).
Pick up some school supplies.
Work in my classroom a little bit if I can get in (they are waxing the floors at some point; I have to check to make sure I can get to my room).
Do a load of laundry.
Relax a bit.
Work on new goals for next week.

I'm thinking that today might be the day I get a French press. I've been thinking about it for a while. A few nights ago I had some tea made in a press, and it was AMAZING. There was so much more flavor in it than tea in a bag. Not to mention it was really fun to pour the tea from the press. I love my morning coffee, and this might make it a little more special for me. It's the little things...

It's time to get in gear. I have been sitting at the computer long enough. I *did* make it to the gym this morning - it's good for me to get it out of the way on Friday, since Fridays are my evening to relax and chill.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COOPSM 8/13/2010 12:32PM

    Have a great day Carrie---great job on getting to the gym...

I have often thought of getting a press..let us know if you get it and how you like it...

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SOUTHGOINGZAX 8/13/2010 11:12AM

    The right kind of beans in a french press - perfection.

Good for you on your goals and getting to the gym!

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PINKCOCONUT 8/13/2010 10:59AM

    Yeah! French press all the way! I've never had tea french pressed before but coffee is SO MUCH BETTER!!!

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Thursday

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I feel much better after yesterday's little vent. I didn't spend the day on the couch, and I made it out to the gym. I did a little shopping and made some good pizza for dinner. I think letting it all out sometimes makes me feel much better.

Worked my upper body like crazy at the gym. I was going to do a little TM run, but I just wasn't feeling it. Walked an incline instead and spent some extra time strength training.

You guys are the best - I never expected so much support, and I really appreciate it all. It is very comforting.

Off to watch So You Think You Can Dance - I need some relaxing time.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONECOOKIETWO 8/12/2010 10:10PM

    You ROCK, my friend!
You're my little inspiration.
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BOBBYD31 8/12/2010 8:59PM

    super duper, glad you vented and are feeling better.

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MIAMIA7 8/12/2010 8:33PM

    Glad you are feeling better today!

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It's getting really hard.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

My honey has been working A LOT (80-hours-a-week-or-more a lot). I have read wonderful suggestions of what to do with my time and I have followed many of these suggestions. They have really helped me keep busy and not think about my honey being gone so much.

But today has been the first day where I've been really really sad. I wake up anywhere from 6-8am, honey doesn't wake up until 10:00 or later because he works so late. So this has been my daily schedule for over a month now:
Wake up
Eat breakfast, Spark, dishes, cook, clean up
Honey wakes up, showers, gets ready for work.
I drive honey to work (it's the little bit of time we get to spend together).
Spend the afternoon doing stuff without my honey.
Pick up honey at night, go to bed soon thereafter.
Repeat daily.

It really sucks. I though that this summer was going to be wonderful because I wasn't taking any classes - we were going to spend lots of time together. But it really sucks. I am miserable, I am sad, I am actually kind of looking forward to school starting again so I have something to take my mind off this.
And the thing that sucks the most is that I can't do anything about it. I am very supportive of my honey and his job... sometimes I just want to go into the management office and scream that our relationship and home life is suffering because of his hours. But I wouldn't want him coming into my principal's office, so I sit back and wait and sigh.

I know that today I should have gone for a swim. But I just couldn't. I didn't want to leave the house and have to talk to anyone about my summer. So I stayed in and cleaned A LOT (I think it may have been enough cleaning to warrant entering it into the fitness tracker). I may go out later to get some stuff for school; I don't know that I want to sit around *all* night and mope... but it's hard. I've been trying so hard to put on a happy face and act like everything is ok, but it's getting to the point where it's not ok anymore. I just don't know what to do. I am the saddest I've been in a long time.

And lately, everything I've been doing to try to take my mind *off* being lonely has just made me think of my honey more. Go out with some friends to hear a friend play a gig - one friend just got engaged, so we talked about that all night. Sigh. Went to a wedding on Friday night - got to see the happy couple dancing together. Sigh. Meet with my trainer - she asks me when the wedding is. Sigh.

Luckily, though, I have been doing well with my nutrition. I have been staying within my goal ranges (although tonight I had two fajitas which may have put me over a little bit, but I'm not sweating it) and successfully avoiding the Depression Binge. And I've been doing pretty well with my fitness, although I'm not quite meeting the minute goals I set for myself. I'm not going to beat myself up for it, though.
Tomorrow I have a class at the gym, so I'm going a bit early to get in a workout (the class is a stretch class, so it will feel good after a hard strength training session).

I try really really hard to be positive through all this, but I just needed to vent a bit. I hate to complain to my honey, he knows how much it sucks too. It's funny - even though I really don't *know* many of my Spark friends, I feel like I can count on you all to make sure I don't eat myself into a brownie ice cream-induced coma.

And since I hate to end on a sucky note, here are some good things.

- Honey noticed my arms are getting smaller. He told me they felt really good.
- I have successfully avoided the cereal for two days.
- Wine consumption has been limited to one glass a night, and it feels good.
- The house has never been cleaner.

Off to fold some laundry and get a shopping list together... don't know that I really feel like heading out tonight, but tomorrow I just might.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMTO3BOYZ2000 8/12/2010 10:59PM

    I miss my hubby as well. I work during the day and he works second shift. So I go to work early in the morning, when I get home from work, he has already gone to work. When he gets home from work, I'm already asleep. It's sad, even though we live in the same house, we only usually get to see each other on the weekends. But it could be worse....he could be stationed overseas and not get to see each other for months on end.

So....stay positive and find things to do that you really like or try some new things.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/12/2010 9:00PM

    My fiance and I are in the same situation. Sometimes the only time I see him is when I drive him to work. I realized I was eating out of boredom and resentment. He explained to me that he needs to feel like he is providing for us and taking care of the family for him to feel good about himself and I get that. He is going to take an extra day off soon and I think it will be good for us. For years we have not had a single day off together and he works nights and I work days so I literally almost never see him. It is hard but you are working towards something together and your support probably makes it all possible. Focusing on your health is a great way to take control of the situation for yourself. Hugs, It will get better.

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CHEPRBYTHEDOZN 8/12/2010 4:26PM

    OMIGOSH! While reading your post I SO felt your sadness! The first SEVERAL years of our marriage hubby worked LONG hours(70-80)and they were midnight shift. Well, he'd wake at 4pm, leave at 5-6 pm and get home to go to sleep at 8-10 am. I was home with the older kids who were very very young at the time. Finally, after many yrs of prayer, he went to dayshift. Still had long hrs but at least he was home in the times the kids were awake too. I actually threatened the D word a few times b/c we NEVER saw him!(there would be 3 days in a row most weeks that the kids wouldn't lay eyes on him).
I remember the sadness and loneliness..gradually you'll get things to do(like school in the fall) and it won't seem so bleak. In the meantime, we're all here for you so cry and scream and let it out~we'll listen!

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MIAMIA7 8/12/2010 2:53PM

    Aw Carrie-that's so tough! And as Bobby said, I can relate. He worked so many hours and I was home with our oldest who was just 3. At least I had him to keep busy but I knew NO ONE! That was tough. I just made friends really fast. Hmmm, I actually remember joining a gym class and took Phillip with me. Hang in there. It doesn't necessarily get easier but you adjust and find things to fill the time. Eventually (for me it was years and 2 more kids) things change-whether it be career or a move-and you realize you made it through! Remember you can always vent here. That's what spark friends are for-support!
Anne

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MUFFIY831 8/12/2010 10:03AM

    I'm sorry this is so difficult. Like others, I hope that it will calm down and you can spend more time together. Take this time apart to focus on yourself, your goals, which I think you've been doing. Having a stronger you will make for a stronger team when you're finally able to spend more time together. Hang in there!

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COOPSM 8/12/2010 8:20AM

    Carrie---I am sorry this is so hard on you...I get it...it does suck...but it will get easier...when hubby and I first hooked up..he worked 4 hours away--so we be gone for dyas on end..then come home from a bunch..just to leave again....
It will get easier....keep that head up and hang in there!!!!
How far are you from Grove City???

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JILLIANPRNCSS 8/12/2010 7:07AM

    Does your honey know how you feel? I know that he can't do anything bur sometimes a good cry and vent helps clear it up so you can move on.

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TMAC10 8/12/2010 6:10AM

    I don't have much words in form of advice, although I know you've heard it all, but always feel like you can vent! I'm here as a listening here if you need anything!

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LAGREBE 8/12/2010 4:40AM

    As difficult as your situation is it sometimes helps to look at worse senarios. In your case it could be: Military wife and husband in a war zone... Hang in there! You are a lot stronger than you think!

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TORTUETOO 8/11/2010 11:56PM

    I know I've said this before but as someone who has been doing this for the past 9 years, I feel your pain and your loneliness. Stay strong sweetie. It never gets nicer per se but you do adjust and it does get easier. Big hugs. emoticon

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BOBBYD31 8/11/2010 10:45PM

    first of all step away from the brownie ice cream!!!!!! sorry you have to go thru this, it was similar to anne and i when we first got married. i took her 9 hours away from all friends and family and worked all the time. we got thru it and you will too, you have spark, your exercise routine, your friends and school soon use these to get out.
believe me this will make your relationship stronger because the little time you have with each other each week is special, just remember to treat it that way.

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ONECOOKIETWO 8/11/2010 9:48PM

    Hey, you have every right to feel sucky about the 80 hours/week you don't get to see him. How long is this schedule going to last? Relationships are built on being together to HAVE them!

This is so not fair to the both of yas. I hope it is temporary and that you and he will get to have a lot of quality time together soon, and onward into the future. If not... is that job of his really worth the sacrifice?

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PINKCOCONUT 8/11/2010 8:57PM

    I hear ya on the opposite hours with the honey. It totally sucks! But you're right, blogging it out is better than eating it! *big hugs* I hope things turn around soon and feel free to message me any time!

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CGREEN717 8/11/2010 7:40PM

    I can so relate to how your feeling. When my husband was a truck driver and gone for weeks on end it was so hard for me to want to do ANYTHING. I missed him so much it hurt. It literally felt like a part of me was dead.
So, as for what your going through, don't worry your not alone. Do you have any other friends that live close to you that suffer with the same problem??? If so, maybe you could start a little group of woman that support each other there???

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