CAROL3SAN   49,623
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CAROL3SAN's Recent Blog Entries

Feeling defeated

Monday, August 18, 2014

I haven't written in a long while. Perhaps that would be some kind of an indication of exactly how defeated I've been. Most days I've only been half trying to meet my goals. Starting out strong in the mornings, and then falling flat by the evening time. All I know that I feel like a complete dope sometimes because I know what needs to be done, and how to do it...what I don't know , or have questions about, I at least know how to get the resources to handle it. So why am I still a failure?

Actually this is only a rhetorical question because I think I know the answer. Fear and anxiety. Fear of having to be uncomfortable internally with eating less, and giving up the floury, sugary foods that I've eaten almost forever. I have to move beyond it. Also there is my diabetes problem. My blood sugar drops too low if I don't eat enough carbs. Sometimes I miscalculate just how much carbs I will need for the day...because of this, I will often become very ill with my blood sugar dropping too low.

Today I am starting out strong once again. I pray that I will be able to hold on everyday for at least one month. One month isn't too usually goes by very fast. But I'm not expecting it to go by very fast this time because of the nature of my situation. The fear and anxiety makes it to go by too slowly also. Perhaps writing here everyday emoticon or as often as I can, will give me hope and encouragement to get through the month....I'll try it. After all, I've tried everything else.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGAR0814 8/18/2014 11:41PM

    I'm diabetic as well (Type 1) so I totally understand the lows you speak about. You need to relearn how much carbs are in a food item. That's what I have to do. Look on packages/labels & then give your insulin accordingly. You can do this! Sometimes I overestimate which causes a low & then I have to treat the low with sugary items or carbs which defeats the purpose of dieting. It's hard, but it's doable! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARMEL_466 8/18/2014 5:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BARBARAROSE54 8/18/2014 12:37PM


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WORKNPROGRESS49 8/18/2014 10:26AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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It's That Time of Year Again

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Hello Sparkers. Don't want to take much of your time today. I just want to remind everyone that this is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The reason I take breast cancer awareness month so seriously is because I have seen first hand the damage that this disease can cause. I have family that has been affected with this disease. Currently, I have a dear aunt (who happens to be only one year older than myself) who is home recuperating from a double mastectomy she had only 2 weeks ago. Also, my youngest sister had a cancerous lump removed from her breast a few years ago. I had a first cousin who was one of my best friends died as a result of breast cancer. Her death came about after she had already gotten both breast removed.

As most of us are already aware of, breast cancer could be deadly, but it also could be properly treated if it is caught in time. So this month, please help support breast cancer awareness. Sign up to take part in the walks, or make a monetary donation, or do some other form of service for this worthy cause.

You can learn more about breast cancer by going to the American Cancer Society, or by going here:

Thank you for visiting, and I hope all of you are having a good and safe day in the journey.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHOCSUNDAE 10/3/2013 11:22AM


Thanks for sharing Carol

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BARBARAROSE54 10/3/2013 9:11AM

    emoticon yes, it has also effected my family

thanks for reminder

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IOWAGRAMMA 10/2/2013 8:29PM

    Nice reminder, Carolyn! Thank you!! emoticon

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ATHLETELORI 10/2/2013 6:09PM

    Thank you for posting this Carolyn.

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CARMEL_466 10/2/2013 4:07PM

    Thanks Carol. I usually decorate my page for the first two weeks in October for breast cancer awareness month but got ahead of myself this year. I will keep the awareness ribbon throughout the month. I also had an aunt who died of breast cancer and this is a worthy cause. Thanks for the reminder.

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I Am Your Disease

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Happy Thursday sparkers. Hope all of you are having a great day despite the various challenges many of us may be experiencing right now. I want to share with you this helpful email I received from a support group I belong to. I read this sometime ago but I didn't save it, and over time it was forgotten. I hope in some way you will receive some benefit from this, as I find it to be very helpful.

I am your disease. Give in to me and eat that extra food. I love it when
you slip, because I can feel you coming under my power. Once I have you,
you are powerless; you cannot resist me. And if you choose me over your
God, I have the power to block off contact with your H.P.

I am proud of how cunning and subtle I am. I don't stand in front of you
brazenly offering food. No, I lie in wait within you, perfectly willing to
take a back seat to your steps, your tools and your OA meetings, if that's
what you want.

Usually, when you are feeling down, you have had enough of me and you are
apt to turn once again to your God. But when you're feeling good, I'm ready
for action, because you will let down your guard.

You are foolish to think that at any given time I am not a strong
influence within you. When you choose me, I become more powerful. You think time gives you immunity, but it doesn't. You assume that, because you've had me under control for a while, I'm beaten. But I'm not. I'm still here,
watching for an opportunity to begin my destruction.

The only time my power is useless is when you turn me over to your Higher
Power. That seems to be the only thing that can save you from me anytime,

I love it when you don't recognize my power, because it means you will
fall into my trap sooner of later. Go ahead, have some extra snacks, eat too
much at meals, take back all the foods you can't handle. You say the
desire has gone? Don't be so smug.

I'll never leave you. So, if you intend to save yourself and your
precious abstinence, you're just going to have to keep on handing me over to

This one is what can be...
I am your friend. I hold out my hand and bring you faith.
I award you serenity and self-esteem.
I bestow upon you peace and acceptance.
I wrap you in love and tender the shield of knowledge.
I volunteer humility and shower you with confidence.
I bequeath spiritual growth, emotional advancement and physical revival.
I am your friend; I will lead you out of the darkness into the light.
I will carry you when you are weak and escort you through honesty.
I will provide tools for the battles and binding for your wounds.
I am your friend. I will teach you abstinence and release you from burden.
I will initiate forgiveness and I will foster willingness.
I will nurture ambition and claim back your life.
I am your friend.
My name is "Recovery."
emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATHLETELORI 9/26/2013 3:35PM

    Very inspiring. Thank you Carolyn.

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BARBARAROSE54 9/26/2013 8:15AM


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CARMEL_466 9/26/2013 7:19AM

    Powerful message Carol. I'm a binge eater and Compulsive over-eater and I'm so glad you posted this blog today. It confirms what I have learned and will continue to use daily. God is truly leading me out of the day at a time. I am so grateful for my daily reprieves. emoticon

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I lost one pound during the holidays

Monday, January 07, 2013

During the weeks of holiday partying I somehow managed to lose one pound.
So what's one pound you may ask, especially when I have 100 pounds to lose?
I say I'll take that one pound weight loss, and wedge a bet on a two pound weight loss at my next TOPS weigh in this coming Thursday evening.

My challenge for the month of January is to lose 10 pounds.
Actually for the year of 2013 my challenge is to lose 10 pounds each month.
That will give me an extra two months to make sure I meet my goal weight.
Do I have it within me to meet this challenge?
You bet I do!!!
That's why I'm going public, so I can be accountable.
No pressure here...just enjoying my weight loss journey with fellow sparkers, and having a little challenge fun.
I'll check in again this Friday to let you know how my week went.
Hoping all of you will have a great week too. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MZLADY77 2/27/2013 10:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Dont give up.... emoticon emoticon

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PATTIE441 2/25/2013 6:04AM

    You are awesome! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GORIANA 1/8/2013 1:28PM

    Wow, that is an awesome goal and an great attitude. Good luck.

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CINDYSDAY 1/7/2013 8:47PM


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BARBARAROSE54 1/7/2013 1:27PM


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CARMEL_466 1/7/2013 6:47AM

    emoticon That's absolutely awesome. To continue losing weight through the holidays shows your determination. Your body is loving what you are doing for it and is rewarding you. You are an inspiration. emoticon Great goals for 2013! emoticon

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Happy New Year!

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Well another new year is upon us and I'm still getting nowhere on my weight loss journey. My doctor gave me the bad news last week when I went for a stress test....I need to lose 100 pounds!! emoticon I'ts hard to swallow that I was close to 40 pounds within my weight range and blew it. emoticon...well I'm not going to cry over spilled milk. I will roll up my sleves and (using the old metaphore) ' hit the ground running'. I'm in a couple of challenges to help make me more accountable, plus I will be sharing my progress with all of you as time passes.
I wish all of you a prosperous new year, and much success in reaching your goals.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALNUT5612 1/3/2013 6:57PM

    The Big Book tells us "We can never rest on our laurels"! I lost and gained back too!!
What did we learn??

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MAYBER 1/2/2013 9:11PM


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CARMEL_466 1/2/2013 6:33PM

    Happy New Year Carol. Love your attitude!!!!! You will do just fine and please know I am with you every step of the way. emoticon

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MOM4407 1/2/2013 6:23PM

    One day at a time.
In Dear Abby she said do not look at the long goal. Just say to yourself I can do this today. Just for today I will eat healthy.

You can do it.
Your TOPS Friend

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GORIANA 1/2/2013 3:51PM

    I didn't lose any weight in 2011 and found a way to rally in 2012. I know 2013 will be great for both of us because we are focused. emoticon

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EDITOR 1/2/2013 1:21PM

    You are on the right track again, and that is what matters! Happy 2013!

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BARBARAROSE54 1/2/2013 12:49PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHUM48 1/2/2013 12:27PM

    Isn't that a familiar story, how many of us can say amen to that! AMEN! I challenge you this, make 2013 the year of achievement! I'm there with you! Happy New Year!

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