CECE0330   32,770
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Day 6...feeling like 60 since my beloved chocolate

Tuesday, January 07, 2014


Oh man. I'm sitting here wondering WHY WHY WHY do I have to do this to myself???? Can't I surely just sneak a little chocolate, a cube of cheese? Some wine???? I mean, I know why: I was completely OUT OF CONTROL ON THE FOOD FRONT. Witness New Year's Brunch:

If I close my eyes, I can taste the warm sugary goodness of those cinnamon rolls....and in the crock pot? Heaven, it was heaven I tell you: eggs, evaporated milk, feta cheese, artichoke hearts, black olives, roasted red peppers sprinkled with fresh basil. Sigh..............You can't even see the hashbrowns here we also fried up.

I will say i AM feeling pretty good on the body front, despite the hole in my stomach where the cheese and chocolate used to go that refuses to be filled with stupid stinky chicken or turkey. And you know what, I don't care what people say, a freaking VEGETABLE is NEVER going to trigger my pleasure sensors. I'm eating right now simply to keep moving, and it kinda sucks. lol.

I do know that once this 17 days has passed, I will be elated to get back to some quinoa, and BEEF. GIMMEE BEEF!!!!!

In other news (a.k.a. "what more motivation do I really need?!??!?!") I am turning 40 in 20 days. emoticon emoticon emoticon

I *think* I have come to terms with it ( emoticon ) and will most likely NOT spend the day crying under the covers, but hello. 20 more days to keep at this so I can feel as physically SOUND as possible when this milestone hits.
(The number itself doesn't freak me out, just how flipping FAST the past decade went. If I didn't have calendars to tell me otherwise, I'd say I was maybe 34? 35? still)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I like veggies but agree that they are not something to drool over. I like the smell on onions cooking but it pales in comparison to a steak on the grill. I get sick of chicken pretty quick. LOL.

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FITGIRL15 1/7/2014 6:14PM

    When you are OLD... you will KNOW you are OLD! Trust me, th body has a way to hurl us into reality from time to time and remind us just how fragile we are!

Take good care of yourself for the next 20 days... and then for the REST of your life!!! Life is a LONG JOURNEY not a GOAL. So have fun and make it memorable!

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On Day 5 of 17 Day Diet

Monday, January 06, 2014

And I fell off the face of the earth AGAIN. The end of 2013 totally and completely kicked my behind for sooo many reasons, and I let myself get caught up in some pretty horrific emotional eating, on top of holiday eating. The result was not good at all. By New Year's Eve, I felt (um, and looked) about 4 months pregnant. Granted, I had gone on a huge grain/sugar binge the prior weekend, so what did I expect, really??

Anyway, decided actually mid-gluttonous phase that a detox was in high order, so I began the 17 Day Diet on January 2. It's incredibly boring, but doable. I've been a little cranky on account of quitting sugar & grains cold turkey, but just 5 days in I feel sooooo much better. The bloating is GONE, and my knees are pain free (as if I needed YET MORE CONVINCING that gluten is my kryptonite).

I still do not weigh myself, and honestly am just going 100% based on how I'm feeling, and how my clothes are fitting. It was just time to pull my act together (yet again). Getting in front of people and expecting them to pay me to teach a physical fitness class....well, I owe it to them to walk the walk.

Also, not gonna lie, going on our big Bahamas vacation in 63 days, so um, I'd like to FIT into my bikini because I don't have the time, energy, patience or money to go through the whole swimsuit-finding debacle yet again. If I can't knock a little weight off, I'll have no choice but to go topless! ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I can so relate. I feel so much better on plan and am not sure why I don't stay on it. Gluten makes me ill.

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MOTHEPRO 1/6/2014 3:57PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SARALEE11 1/6/2014 3:07PM

    SO glad you made it through those first few difficult days! I did, as well, and I finally have control over my cravings!

You will feel great, come bikini time!!

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FITGIRL15 1/6/2014 12:07PM

    Topless????!!! HAHAHA! emoticon If that was on the line, I'd be VERY motivated to shed a few LBS! LOL

So glad you are back, and that the new plan is working for you (as it has so many times before! :)

63 days... 2 months and a bit! You can definitely do some serious revamping to your physique in that time! You got this!

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DRLMAZ 1/6/2014 12:04PM

  Hang in there

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Dropped off the face of the earth, but back now

Monday, December 02, 2013

Good grief. Been gone since August this time around. I wish I could say that after all this time, and weight lost, I don't NEED Spark People, but uh, that is not the case at all.

Went on my Caribbean vacation, and it was sooooooo wonderful. Had a great time lounging, hanging with my BFF, and seeing the ocean for the first time.

Then I came home and dealt with a whole sh!tstorm of stress at work, in zumba, and at home. And now I'm sitting here feeling really annoyed with myself for letting myself go the past 3 months!!!! Been eating gluten like there's no tomorrow, and paying for it BIG TIME with aching joints. Haven't run since August. In fact, my husband washed my car when I was on vaca, and didn't know to remove my 13.1 magnet, so it got washed off, and honestly I feel that is just reward for my lack of consistency. Ugh.

But onward. I have no idea what my weight is; though I do see that prior to my vacation I was back up to 157. Riiight. After this carb/sodium/sugar laden weekend I'd have to guess I'm back around 165. NOT COOL. Not cool at all.

Anywho, back to tracking today, and ABSOLUTELY NO GLUTEN until December 24, when I will allow myself a little cheating then STOP again December 26. Bahamas trip is in 98 days and it's gonna go by in a blink.

A few random Caribbean pics:

(seriously, I'm glad to be back because Spark will at least keep me from AVOIDING the fact I'm GAINING like there's no tomorrow! I can tell my clothes fit worse, and I'm not digging that at all)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME-4-TINA 12/9/2013 6:53PM

    the days I don't track my food, I tend to over do it. So, I guess I need to be on here every day. I think it helps all of us stay accountable. Glad your back!

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BOTTLEDIGGER 12/9/2013 7:41AM

    I am back on Spark, too...not even sure why I left and boy, am I up...ten pounds from my heaviest weight ever...makes me sick...I can not get into hardly any of my clothes...up about 14 pounds from when I "quit" on SP...I had been stalled out at 221ish for a long, long time then around June..wham...put on 10 or so pounds and they have STUCK...looks like you had a fun trip...thanks for sharing..I will quit whining!!! Have a good week...you can do this! I can do this!

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JIBBIE49 12/5/2013 11:11AM

    I've been here for over six years and if I didn't stay at it, I'd be about 314#.

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    Sooooooooooooooooo glad to see you!!! I miss you when you aren't around. I don't have many people I can talk to about gluten. I have been cheating too and paying for it. When I talk to people here about avoiding gluten they act like I'm some sort of trendy kook. Thank God my doctor is not one of them and he decided he is sure I have celiac disease and not sensitivity and I need no gluten and less carbs as well so I'm not even supposed to have the frankenlowcarb foods.

Loved your pictures. They look so restful. I love the ocean.

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FITGIRL15 12/2/2013 5:42PM

    Glad you had a lovely vacation! You deserved it, Hun!!!

You can do this!

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KNH771 12/2/2013 5:25PM

    Glad to have you back!

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KENDRACARROLL 12/2/2013 4:49PM

    I've been here for almost 7 years and still enjoy the community immensely. I'm at goal and maintaining - SparkPeople absolutely gets the credit for this. My SparkFriends are wonderful.
Welcome back! Stick around...

Comment edited on: 12/2/2013 4:49:51 PM

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TLB1630 12/2/2013 4:07PM

    emoticon and glad you're back!! Most of us here have been away at some point or another...but glad you are back NOW!!! emoticon emoticon

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Two amazing (to me anyway) things

Monday, August 19, 2013

1. My Zumba mentor/BFF and I co-teach crazy early a.m. zumba to a FABULOUS group of ladies (about 15 of them). Mentor recently got Aqua Zumba licensed, and wanted to test out some choreo on the ladies, and just have a nice little get-together afterward, potluck & BYOB (one of the ladies has an in-ground pool). We did this Friday night, and while I'm not a fan of AZ myself, overall it was a blast, as we had a great time socializing after. It was a great bonding experience not only with students, but helped their bonds with EACH OTHER. So, I'm not ZA licensed, but BFF asked me to help her lead a song I had helped her choreo the night before. So, here I am, in swim shorts (clinging to me, nonetheless) sports bra, and tank, in front of all these ladies, not thinking ANYTHING of it. Maybe you can't relate, but there was not ONE SINGLE NEGATIVE DEROGATORY COMMENT about myself AT ALL; my brain was blissfully silent, and I just OWNED my body, and did the song.

2. Sitting around after, people were commenting about life in general; the balance of eating & working out in a crazy hectic week, and it saddened me how many of them made comments about not feeling good about themselves physically. Why is it so easy to beat ourselves up???? I think ALL of them are doing a fabulous job of being active despite the obstacles, and it helped drive the point home that I DO NOT WANT TO BE DOWN ON MYSELF EVER AGAIN. I'm telling you, this whole "body acceptance" thing that i have going on is sooooo foreign to me. I keep telling myself if this is the price to pay for hitting the big 4-0 next January, I will gladly accept it! Fair exchange, IMO.

And ladies, you will understand this part....all of this happened right before Aunt Flo; the time when I'm normally feeling so incredibly frustrated with my lack of perfection.

Hurrah! I'm not gonna run around wearing an "I'm awesome" tee shirt or anything anytime soon, but after spending 30 years criticizing my own appearance, I feel like celebrating! emoticon emoticon

Oh, and TEN MORE DAYS TIL THE CARIBBEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME-4-TINA 8/29/2013 4:32PM

    Well, you know how I feel on this subject. Remember my blog about trying to take a compliment? Well, there are times when I forget that I even wrote that. So, apparently, I am still struggling with it. Congrats on your self confidence. Maybe it will rub off on me.

Glad you enjoyed the AZ. Was it a good workout???

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FITGIRL15 8/21/2013 3:15PM

    Let me just remind you of something that has become obvious to me after speding more time with the Latina Zumba instructors... They are HARDER on themselves then we white girls are! It's bread into them, part of their culture (is what my friend Andrea tells me) ... even their mohers will say things like "You are going out in THAT???"
I was FLABBERGHASTED in the amount of self acceptance they have, it's always "I gotta be better, I gotta be better!"

SOmetimes we need to recognize that we are pretty damn awesome just the way we are, right now!
In our unique, special way!

(at Convention, I really wanted to get the shirt, "Different is the new normal" because ain't that the truth??? But it wasn't avaliable, so I got "I don't sweat, I glow" instead! LMAO)

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    It's nice that your confidence level is climbing because anyone who knows you realizes that you have a lot to be confident about. We need role models like you.

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JIBBIE49 8/20/2013 12:44AM

    Way to go

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LYNNEBO1 8/19/2013 5:19PM

    Sometimes that's just where conversation goes with women. Like we don't have permission to be fair and content with where we are. I'm trying to do that and honestly, it's a conversation stopper - not bragging, just saying, "right now, I'm happy where I am." It's also hard to be eating with some friends and they don't support if I choose not to eat or drink something. That is tough too.

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KABOOPER 8/19/2013 1:55PM

    I think you SHOULD get a T-shirt that says "I'm Awesome!" just for the fact that you are so comfortable in your own skin!!

Good for you.
I am still self conscious about everything I wear or do. I am lighter than I was, I feel better in my clothes, but still so easy to see those flaws. I hope I find the insight you have!

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KNYAGENYA 8/19/2013 1:02PM


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ZIRCADIA 8/19/2013 12:48PM

    WOOHOO! :) This is amazing. I'm so happy for you to have those moments.

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16 days til the Caribbean!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Yeah, the 30 day challenge train derailed and never quite got back on track.

I'm fine with that. I came to this realization that I just need to be OK with me NOW. I keep striving for "perfection" as I imagine it in my mind, but it's going to take true dedication and sacrifice to get to THAT high standard, which is something like this:

and that is just NOT going to happen. I simply don't want to give up my occasional drink, or chips & guacamole or eating things off the beaten path at social events. To me, it's just not worth it. Maybe I'll change that view someday.

What I do know is if I could stay a size 8-10 my whole life, I'm perfectly A-OK with that.

Also, you know, EVERYDAY PEOPLE (not fitness models, airbrushed celebs, etc) have imperfections that make us unique. Was with a friend recently who has what I consider to be a pretty darn close-to-perfect body. But you know what? She has cellulite on her legs. I saw another woman at the pool recently who had a good figure, but had pretty severe varicose veins running up & down her legs. We ALL have our own imperfections to find peace with, and I *think* I'm pretty close to being at peace with mine. (And THIS all being said 6 days before good ole Aunt Flow comes to town.....so I think I really mean it! emoticon I mean, if I can be OK with myself in this lovely PMS hormonal state, it MUST be for real!)

Today, I am healthy (well, not really, I am sicker than a dog with a stupid summer bug that jumped me this weekend) but I mean I'm HEALTHY; my numbers are good, my physical fitness level is great, life is good.

Life will be EVEN BETTER in 16 days! First time on a real beach, first time using a passport....soooooo excited! And I truly at this point don't care if my midsection is wobbly & stretch-marked in a two piece. This is me. I came a long, long way to get here.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I love you just the way you are, GF. You are beautiful. And I love your attitude. Life is about balance and you do it well.

Get well quick, GF. You have a date with the beach. LOL.

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FATTYBOY230 8/13/2013 1:59PM

    im headed for cancun in 16 days " All Inclusive" . Im not going off the deep end, Ill eat in moderation.... Ill party in moderation .... and im going to spend a lot of time Running or walking on the beach.... swimming till my chest hurts or Jaws gets me , what ever first. Ive been obese BMI 30 ...for 30 years Im done ...Im sick of it. Keep it in moderation... YEA im a little scared too. Lookin at a smorgas board unlimited food. Please ... just take a break from health.... never give up! Good luck! emoticon

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ZIRCADIA 8/13/2013 1:55PM

    Have you read this article? I saw it recently and was like... WORD! :D hehehe


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