Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Well, here I am again, trying to give Spark People another try. I thought the best way to start is give some back ground about myself. I am 26 years old and I live in Ohio. I've always been "chubby." Awkwardness does not even begin to describe my athletic skills, and I'm very self-conscious when attempting to exercise in front of other people. There have been times when taking a walk, "fat girl" has been directed towards me from a passing car. My self-esteem and self-imaged has suffered.
In 2009, at the age of 22, I graduated college weighing 215 pounds, my highest weight to date. My self-esteem continued to plummet after graduation, I did not receive any full time job offers and had to move home. I remember sitting at a friend's wedding that same year and thinking "my life has no point, it literally has no point." Depression had moved in and seemed set to stay the long haul. I was always on edge all the time and would disappear into my room for hours. My family no longer lived in the area that I grew up in and loneliness soon became my new friend as well. It did not help any that I was employed at a big box retailer and my department was returns. I was the punching bag for customers. There was an upside to working at the returns counter though. The position required a lot of lifting and walking and soon a lot of the weight begin to come off. I believe my lowest weight was 165 pounds. I was elated and I begin to make friends with my co-workers and loneliness was not staying in my house as often. I was feeling good!
In February 2013, I received a job offer working in an office for an oil and gas company. The job was full time (big box retailer was not), it had steady hours (big box retailer did not), and benefits. The job seemed perfect. With a steady schedule, I am able to spend the weekends with my love, Jon, and have the evenings free. I am making a tad bit more money and some of the credit card debt I had racked up since graduation is starting to come down. The downside to this job? I have put the weight back on. I am now 205.5 pounds. My hot body self-esteem went down the drain again. So here I am, trying, trying, trying! I'm not sure if I'm completely impressed with the food tracker or fitness tracker. I have some apps on my phone that I think work better, Spark People what do you think?