Friday, November 21, 2014
The Holiday season is upon us, and I am excited for it this year. Blake is really starting to understand things this year and is having a great time talking about the fun stuff he is doing.
It has been so cold in Idaho these last couple of weeks. Lots of snow, ice and freezing temps has made for some fun snow days for us. I am sick of the cold already but Blake is not. So last weekend we bought boots, gloves, snow pants and a jacket and had the best time playing in the snow.
And of course cold, snow, ice, wind makes it so I don't want to get up and exercise, or go out at all. I am not exercising, but am eating better. There for a while I got into the Halloween candy and could. not. stop. It was diving head first into the candy bucket and not taking a breath of air for hours at a time. Then I would be sitting there with candy wrappers all around me wondering "What Happened." Not anymore, I am stopping that! I have stopped that. My grocery store runs have been fresh, and mostly fruits and veggies lately and I have felt the difference. I always feel so much better when I am eating right... more energy, sleep better, and just a better sense of wellness. If only I could bottle that up, and drink it when my willpower and motivation stops.
So to keep myself focused on the Holiday season with treats galore, parties, and events it seems like all month long I am making a plan to keep on track. I am not looking to lose anything through this time, but do want to maintain my 20 lb loss that I struggled for this past year. My main objective is to stay within 3 lbs of my 20 lbs gone. To do that I am going to have to:
Start a list, there are many days that I don't have anything planned. Those days need to be healthy eating, exercise, and drinking water. Make a plan...
I am not going to deprive myself of anything especially on the days that revolve around food. Thanksgiving, Christmas, the Holiday Party, Christmas Eve... nope I am going to embrace all the joy and treats that come with it and NOT FEEL GUILTY. Enjoying myself, taking the time for myself, and pampering me a little bit is priority this year.
I am doing most of the cooking through this special time and I will have a variety of healthy foods to choose from, plus dessert and some rich tasty traditional dishes. The holiday's don't have to be all or nothing. I think if I practice moderation, write out a plan of days that don't have activities and try to get out a couple times a week for exercise, then I win.
I have been cleaning, organizing, cleaning, organizing and doing it again with both my house and office. I will continue to keep that trend going as throwing things out and bringing in fresh and new is feeling really good right now. I still dread the thought of throwing things away, I freeze up when trying to make a decision. So I finally had to list out a few things to help me make a decision.
Do I use it!
Do I really need it.
Does it make me smile.
Does it make me sad. (Goes in the garbage!!)
What do I feel when I see, touch, smell, or hear the item.
If I still can't make a decision, but it somewhere where I can see it every day for 5 days. Mark a yes or no for each day. More yeses keep, more no's don't keep.
And now for what you have all been waiting for: SNOW PICS
I haven't been keeping up with my blog, but I am thankful every single day for every blessing that is sent my way. With my newfound positivity and gratitude daily I have the means to find something to be thankful for every single day. And in this season, I have too many reasons to list right now.
WINS: Staying within calorie counts for two days. Not gaining... that is a huge win.
This weekend, I am going to give Blake colored water to spray the snow with. This should be very interesting, hopefully I get some really fun colored snow tomorrow.
Have a fabulous weekend!!
Thursday, November 06, 2014
I will start the morning off with a funny Blake story. The other night we are talking, and I am trying to explain Thanksgiving, and what Thanksgiving is and how it works. This is not easy with a 2 year old. Why mommy, why do we eat turkey, why, why can't I dress up on Thanksgiving. Questions, questions... and then on to the next question....
So here is how our conversation went:
Blake: I am going to be batman for Halloween.
Me: Halloween is over, the next holiday is Thanksgiving, where we eat a big turkey, give thanks for all that we have and celebrate all the good in our life.
Blake: Oh.... can I still be batman.
Me: Sure. But then the next Holiday after Thanksgiving is Christmas.
Blake: OH Christmas
Me: And Santa Clause comes.... with presents.
Blake: OHHH Presents too??
Me: What do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas?
Blake: A SHEEP!
Me: What, do you even know what a sheep is?
Blake: Yah, it goes BAAA BAAA and it's white.
Me: (in my head) Sigh... not quite what I had in mind for Christmas.
This morning he is still talking about a sheep for Christmas. Yikes....
Onto my topic for today:
My mind goes in circles. Sometimes I am amazed at how we can self sabotage ourselves without even giving it a second thought. I am one of those people that think about a million thoughts per second, and can't always turn it off. I have been working on that, but somedays it just goes around and around. I have been struggling lately, and those struggles come from taking the easy way out. Not exercising, and my mind tells me it is okay, you can exercise tomorrow. Falling head first into the candy bucket for two weeks... you can eat healthy tomorrow. Well it seems when I get this way, tomorrow never comes, the candy dish stays full, and exercise is non existent. I am still working/processing this through to get back my motivation and lose those last 10 lbs that I want to lose by Christmas. I keep thinking jeesh something is wrong with me. Why can't I just stop eating the candy... start drinking water.
As I process this through my mind, it is one of those things that I have to start over again and with baby steps. I haven't run in 5 weeks or so, so yeah I am probably not going to go out and hit a marathon tomorrow. But I can do the little things, that add up to the big things that bring back my motivation, and that is how my mind goes in circles.
So for today, and my challenge I listed the other day:
For three days challenge yourself to do one tiny thing. Make it something that you will feel silly at failing at. Today my challenge is going to be drinking one water bottle. Yep that is it... if it turns into more YAY win for me. I mean really, what excuse can I come up with to not drink one bottle of water. It is silly to even think of an excuse as to why I can't.
Sticking with the Season of Gratitude:
Day 1: So thankful for having a positive attitude when things aren't going my way.
Day 2: Thankful for a day to clean house, and spend with my son.
Day 3: Grateful, and thankful for having a job, to go to every day.
Day 4: Thankful that I am able to share my love for another little boy who needs some mommy love right now.
Day 5: Thankful for Netflix and Netflix Kids. Having a movie on saved my sanity tonight.
Day 6: Thankful for new opportunities and changes in my work world.
My WINS for yesterday: Drank 4 water bottles of water. Got out for a 2 mile run.
Have a fantastic day!!
Tuesday, November 04, 2014
I survived the Halloween festivities. Oh my what an interesting, but fun evening I had. My little guy WOULD NOT wear his costume at all. So as a last minute attempt to get him to dress up, I stuck on his boots, his cowboy hat, and grabbed his toy gun. He made a pretty good cowboy, and he loved the trick or treating and people watching. We tried something new this year and we had great fun. So much to look at, he was just all over the place. Then we picked up the neighbor baby to do some trick or treating in Blake's grandma's neighborhood. We got to grandma's house, and John knocked on the door first. Blake had a meltdown, and then told me, I stay with grandma. And he wouldn't finish trick or treating. How funny is that? So I took John and we went and got some trick or treating in for him.
Disappointed yet once again that my trip to Hailey was cancelled. She called me up and told me that I could come, but Blake wasn't invited. So of course, I didn't go. As it had been planned with Blake involved from the beginning I found it a bit strange. And won't set myself up for disappointment anymore. And that is what I want to talk about today: Disappointment.
I find that with dieting, or much of anything really, I can set myself up to be very disappointed and beat myself up over it. I didn't eat right, I didn't drink my water, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't and all of that can lead to disappointment again and again and then depression. So I think we need to take what we can and look at it from another perspective. Instead of being disappointed think of what you could possibly gain from it. In the case with my girlfriend, since I saved money by not going to Hailey I was able to buy a shelf that I wanted. My husband hung it up for me and I get to see it every day. In the case of disappointing yourself over and over again, pick something that you won't disappoint yourself with. Drink one glass of water, get out and take that walk. The little things add up!!
So my challenge to all of you is to pick one thing each day for the next 3 days and just do it. Drink one glass of water, go for a five minute walk, just do one thing. See if it gets you out of the mindset.
Here is what you have all been waiting for:
Not very good pictures at all, and he wasn't being very cooperative.
It is the Season of gratitude attitude so I am going to try really hard to keep up with my blog and get my gratitude in. Even if I am not blogging know that I am still finding a reason to be grateful everyday.
Gratitude: Thankful for all of the little things that add up to such big things in my life.
I have to run now, but I will continue this tomorrow....
Until then have a fantastic evening.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
We had such a fun night. We carved a pumpkin, (still have 3 to go) but for Blake's first pumpkin he had a great time. And it turned out pretty good. He is ready to do the second one, but wouldn't touch the "guts." So funny, he grabbed my camera and started taking pictures of me doing the pumpkin instead of him. So there is one picture of me, taken by my 2.5 year old.
Motivation is still lacking, but I am just going to have to buckle down and do it. Start small again, not starting over but getting back to basics. That is what I need right now, just the basics and not overwhelm myself with trying to do everything. When I got sick with strep throat, I was trying to do everything and everything wasn't getting as much attention as focusing on one or two things. Yep baby steps.
I try to keep this blog really positive, and upbeat, but I also have to share when I am feeling down or not like I am doing well enough. And right now I am in that slump of not doing well because I have an inner brat that just doesn't wanna!
Today is my flu shot at 3 and at 1 I get to go do some fun office furniture shopping. I am really excited about that. I can't wait to get that office up and running and functional. My boss told me yesterday that I need to learn command presence. Going to have to look that one up.
So here is what you are waiting for: Pumpkin Carving Pics!
Blake carving his first pumpkin.
Gratitude: Again very much grateful to have my boy be able to give me kisses at night, and say I love you mommy.
Grateful for having groceries, and being able to go to the pumpkin patch again.
Not doing well with my WINS, but going to set a couple of goals and take baby steps.
P.S. I am not sure why my pictures always come out sideways. Sorry about that!!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Ah the joys of motherhood. One of the most rewarding, but yet frustrating jobs out there. There are no rules. There are no deadlines. There isn't anything to tell you how to do it. In a real job, there are standard operating procedures, manuals to trouble shoot and and documents and documents of step by step instructions. But being a mom is trial and error and when one thing finally works, then it doesn't any more. There is no SOP manual. Because when you try one thing, it works for a minute. Then there is my child that I cannot parent by following any advice column.
But then I am rewarded with goodnight mommy, I love you. Or no you don't sleep in daddy's bed, you sleep in my bed. Or mommy, I need a knife. I NEED to cut up those pumpkins. Uhmmmm no, you don't need a knife, and we will cut the pumpkins tomorrow. Why mommy. What happened mommy. MOM where is my Thomas the Train. No, not that Thomas, the OTHER ONE. (Really, you have 4,000 Thomas the trains).
I can't imagine not growing up with him. He will be three in January, and we are having such a wonderful time. There are moments where I wonder what in the world happened, what was I thinking. But overall being a mommy is the best thing in the world and those little precious people grow up all to fast. I can't imagine missing the next three years of his life. Which is exactly what is happening to a friend of mine. She is going to miss the next three years of her little boy growing up. Her little boy is three. I can't imagine not seeing him until he starts the first grade. So many milestones and so many things missed out on. So after hearing the bad news, which I had prayed and prayed for her, I have decided I need to be a better mom.
I need to stop being impatient with his stories. I need to stop being impatient with him at bedtime. I need to slow down and make sure he knows that his mommy loves him. Even when he gets into trouble. Which he does a lot.
For whatever reason, I was chosen to take care of and love this precious life that we created. And that means not taking him for granted. That means keeping him safe, and molding him into a kind, strong man. The kind of man I would want to be around, and have people say what a nice young man you have raised. That is my ultimate goal.
I for one am going home to hold my little one a little tighter tonight, and give him an extra kiss or two. We are going to carve the pumpkins, and maybe let him help. At least with a spoon. There is no guarantees, and I am not going to miss out on those moments. I have the choice to be there for him.
This has nothing to do with weight loss. It was just some random thoughts and circumstances that happened in the last couple of days.
My weight loss motivation is non exisitant right now. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to track, drink my water, exercise, or eat healthy. I am not sure where my motivation went but when I hit the 20 lb lost I have kind of lost the momentum. I hope it comes back soon as this is not good for me. But sometimes a little break isn't so bad either.
Gratitude: Grateful for my son and all of his antics, good and bad. Thankful that I am around to see it.
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