Sunday, September 21, 2014
For those of you that know me and have been following my life at all you will know just what a big breakthrough or transformation or revelation I had today about my attitude and Helene.
A brief background for those that don’t know my story Helene: She is my lead where I work and when I first started she was very nice. Later that first year I was asked to become a full time employee which meant switching to nights. Maybe that is where all her animosity towards me started because she probably felt other deserved full time before me, others who had been then a while before me. Fast forward to when I was able to move back to days. My first day back I noticed something that had to be cleaned and a manager praised me in front of her for noticing it. We have been butting heads ever since. Maybe she thought I wanted her job—I don’t know. She would criticized me all the time and accused me of doing things that I didn’t do.; All in front of other co-workers and sometimes guests. One time he got me so upset I thought I was having a heart attack and I went to the ER. Fast forward 7 years of this kind of behavior towards me. Accusing me to things I didn’t do, interrupting me or walking away when I was talking.
A month ago I was asking her to make some signs for me and she walked away. Later came up while I was talking to someone to tell them where I had put an item and told me not to be so bossy.
A little bit later I went to the bathroom in a stall that had no toilet paper. I heard someone come in and asked for help. I asked THREE times. Never any answer. I finely got up to change stalls, peeked around the corner and it was Helene. After I finished and washed my hands I was about to leave and decided – I would ask her why she is always so rude to me. She replied she didn’t have to help me in the bathroom or something of that sort.
I don’t know anyone who would not give toilet paper to someone. That is how hostile she is towards me.
Now to fast forward to my revelation today:
I am naturally a kind, happy, caring and helpful person. Since I started working at SDH I had begun to reflect people’s attitudes towards me back at them. It was self-preservation or something. If a person didn’t like me for some reason I would just try and stay out of their way. I wouldn’t be as happy towards them.
So I was lying in bed just thinking this afternoon and Thought about my reflecting. I know I would never reflect ‘toilet paper behavior’ on anyone.
Outcome: I decided not to reflect others feeling back at them!
I think I worked on this relaxing in bed. More like a meditation/self-discovery type of thing. When I woke up I felt happy! Like this burden that I had been carrying was gone.
I wanted to go to work and give Helene a hug and thank her. REALLY.
People are in your life for a reason. Sometimes it takes years to figure out why. In my case it was 13+ years. Helene was brought into my life to teach me, to teach me not to take things so personally (another story) and to not reflect back on others.
I pray everyone can figure out why people are in your life and use it to help themselves. It can take years (for me it was over a decade).
Once it comes you will feel lighter, happier and free.