Friday, August 29, 2014
I have lost 40 pounds so far. I am so proud of what I have accomplished. I have more energy, my clothes look better, I am more confident, and I went down two whole sizes in my work uniform.
But my arms are still flabby.
If you have read any of my past blogs, you know that my arms are the thing I am most insecure about. I still find myself not being able to wear certain shirts because my arms don't fit in them, and I won't wear a tank top because of how bad they look.
However, I recently decided that sometime within the next year, I will take the proper steps toward getting brachioplasty, in other words, an arm lift.
They will basically just chop off all the droopy stuff. Thats all I want. I want to be able to wear tank tops without being embarrassed. Think how many more great clothes I will be able to wear!
I know it will be expensive, but it is something I'm willing to go into some debt for. There may be some scarring, but the scars will be so much more worth it. Plus, I want some tattoos on my arms anyways, who will even see the scars?
I am so excited to have made this decision. Hopefully I will find myself in a place to be able to go through with it.
BTW- Had a great past few days. Slowly but surely getting more weight off. Just a pound away from being at the halfway mark!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
I'm feeling very positive the past few days.
I cut out weigh-ins for the time being. I have no need to weigh myself right now, I am doing fine, gaining momentum, feeling like things are getting better.
My motivation is up, I keep what I am eating in the back of my thoughts through the day. I'm a little worried about tomorrow because I'm going over a friend's house to visit. She is pregnant and bound to have lots of snacks. I guess this will be a test for will power.
Goodnight for now Sparkers
Monday, August 11, 2014
I've decided, due to inconsistent numbers and lack of a working scale, I am going to forgo weighing myself for a bit. I have been pretty much back on track for the past two weeks (except for a cheat weekend) but have yet to lose anything again.
I'm hoping stepping off the scale and avoiding the number will make for a better reaction next time I have a chance to weigh myself properly.
In the meantime, walk tonight, I'm within my calorie range for the day and feeling somewhat positive.
Wednesday, August 06, 2014
I LOVE my days off. I can do whatever I want. I always include a workout somewhere in the day. Today, I have a few errands to run at the craft stores, but once I'm done with that I'm going to go for a walk at the nearby park. After that, who knows, maybe I'll take a trip on the elliptical. Its anything goes.
My mom asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with her later, which always means a fatty, American restaurant like Smokey Bones or Long Horn. Lets see what happens. Might have to do a little entree research!
Monday, August 04, 2014
If there is anyone out there who consistently reads this blog, you will know that I am having issues with an ex.
Specifically, I am having trouble letting go of what happened.
I consider it a successful day if it takes me more than 10 minutes to think about it on the way home from work. It always creeps its way back into my mind.
I have to see him in September for a hearing about when he broke his foot. It is going to kill me inside to be there with him.
I don't know how I should act, if I should say anything to him. I don't know if he will even acknowledge me.
What if he doesn't, my scarred heart will shatter again. What if he does, it will be too painful to talk to someone I was so in love with.
I still cry myself to sleep sometimes, and for the most part I shed a tear over it everyday.
I just want to be able to leave it behind me, but it catches up to me all the time.
Right now, I am sad. I wish I wasn't, but I am.
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