Sunday, September 22, 2013
I started yesterday being nervous. A 5K really 3.1 mile? Not this girl!! OMG what if I am last? Worse...what if I can't finish?! These are the things going through my head. As always I was trying to psych myself out! Trying to come up with an excuse to NOT do this!!
Well, this morning I woke up early and found I was looking forward to it. I was tired, and it was COLD but I was really looking forward to it!
When I got down there just seeing all the people was a little intimidating, runners in their cute little running skirts, 1/2 marathoners warming up. BUT as I looked around I saw the other people too, people like me, people with handicaps, families, kids it was AMAZING!! Why was I scared? At this point I couldn't remember!
When they "sectioned" us off I didn't get in the 1st or 2nd group but I was confident enough to go in the 3rd group to start and I stuck it out pretty well!!
I did a little jogging here and there, I power walked the rest of the time. About half the way to the finish line a girl came up and thanked me (I had talked to her and her sister yesterday and at the beginning of the race) for keeping her motivated. "Thanks, I saw you pass me and I didn't want you to pass me so it made me go faster" she said Hmm, really? challenge on!! So her and I walked together for awhile then the finish line was in sight, I was so tired and she started jogging! The voice in my head said "oh, hell no!" and I started running (if you can call what I do running) I ended up finishing a few minutes before her and I felt GOOD! Really Good!!
When I was almost to the finish line I came close to crying! I felt so happy for me! I believe my time was right around 50 minutes (I didn't see and won't know til the post em tomorrow) but for a 1st 5k done by an 45 year old 238lb woman I will take it!! I am looking forward to more 5ks and maybe some day...a half marathon??
Monday, September 02, 2013
today I am grateful for being able to start over again. That I'm still healthy enough to get up and walk four and a half miles. To enjoy the fresh air and feel the wind in my face.at 238 pounds some people wouldn't be able to do this and I happy I am still able
I have about a hundred eight pounds to lose to reach my goal and today I am re committing myself to make it to goal happen.by exercising five to seven times a week, eating smaller portions and staying away from fast food and soda.
Thursday, July 04, 2013
If something works, why try to fix it?!
About 5 years ago I lost more than 100 lbs, how did I do it? I ate less, walked daily, and didn't drink soda, that's it nothing radical no major life shattering changes just those few things. Why did I stop? I am not sure, I think I felt I should be doing more maybe? Walking? really just walking? crazy, I should be running I should be training like I am going into the olympics right?!! Well, I have to go with WRONG! Walking worked for me! I was teased (lovingly) by my family about being a power walked, or a "professional" walker and it was FUN!
So with a lot of over thinking and not feeling like I was doing enough, I quit! Just quit, why bother? I still couldn't run, I am not a strong swimmer, I surely wasn't gonna win the olympics so I quit all together. I put on the weight I lost and said the hell with it all!
Over the last couple years I have been trying to get back into things, do this dvd try that work out plan blah blah blah. So today I got out and walked the same 4.5 miles I used to do every morning. Slapped the leashes on the dogs and just got out there. I did 17 minute miles and I liked it! The fresh air, the peace and quiet, walking along the lake front with just me and my thoughts and I LIKED it! Why wasn't this enough for me?? It just doesn't make any sense to me now!
So I got home and I did some things, 1st I emailed my husband and told him my plan and asked him to join me. Not necessarily on the walks but in finding a healthier way of living. 2nd I set my alarm of 4:45am the time I used to get up and get my walk in. I reset my spark ticker and weighed in.
I also decided I am working in 3 month intervals, I want to only weigh in every 3 months. I don't want to be obcessed with the numbers I want to work on my health! So at 3 months I want to be down 25 lbs and so on!
So here is to going about things the way they used to be and just believing in myself and NOT over thinking things!!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I have been doing a lot of reading, watching documentaries, and of course reading things on Spark, and I found one thing that has been missing when I was "on track" in the past is self love. Just being ok with myself as I am so I am less afraid to go forward.
I am sure I am far from the only person, but my "self"talk has been horrible! I would NEVER talk to people as bad as I do to myself. I use bad names and put myself down constantly.
So that is what I am really really going to work on, start with working on the inside and then I am sure it will start showing on the outside!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Today on Sparkcoach the topic was all or nothing attitude, and THAT is my life! I tend to go on these streaks where I am doing everything right losing weight, exercising and eating better and then I start making little mistakes and throw in the towel! This is one of the biggest problems on my journey!
I must learn how to be ok with my mistakes and not shun the whole program because of them!
I am starting over for about the 12,000th time but going into it a little smarter.
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