Sunday, September 28, 2014
It has been a rough few months...My mother passed away two months ago, she was over weight and smoked too much. She liked to go out to dinner and have a few cocktails a couple times a week. Her health issues were many but it still came as a surprise. I will never forget the phone call, it was my mom's boss "Cherie, it is Chrissy your mom didn't come to work today"
The thing about my mom, she never missed work, even when she was sick she would still go in. She was a very dependable hard working woman.
I tried her number several time and then I tried my husbands (he works 3rd shift so he was home) unfortunately neither one answered. My heart was in my throat and frozen. Then the next thing was hearing one of my co workers " Cherie, you have to go home" see my mom and I bought a duplex together in 1999 at the time I wasn't married and she wanted my kids to grow up in a home and not an apartment.
I rushed home, wanting to get there and another part of me just wanted to drive anywhere but home. As I pulled up in front, I had and idea what I was going to find. I should have gone and gotten my husband but instead I just bolted up the stairs. I saw her morning paper sitting there and then I knew. She was still in bed and looked quite peaceful. My cat was sleeping next to her as if to keep her company. I went to try to wake her up but she was already cold. Then came police, parametics, and finally the mortician to take her away. It was such a hard thing to deal with.
Then came the funeral and all the people who attended, that was odd so many people I haven't seen in so long and wanted to be happy to see and then just remembering why they were there.
I miss my mom, she was such a huge part of my every day, She was an awesome lady but I don't want to be like her. I quit smoking back in 1999 but my bad eating habits have continued and I am back up to 243lbs and that is a very dangerous weight for my 5'3" frame.
I don't want to have trouble breathing, or have clogged arteries. I want to be able to spend quality time playing with my grandchildren when I have them, not just have someone put them on my lap.
So I am saying good bye to the bad habits mom and I shared and am moving forward with my life. Making diet and exercise a normal part of my life so I don't always feel uncomfortable and out of breath.
Thursday, April 03, 2014
Well guess it looks like I am starting over again...well it has been almost 2 weeks.
I was back up to 245 and decided to get back on board. It seems like I have a whole host of aches and pains and I am sure most of it is due to my weight. I don't like feeling blah all the time. Lazy really isn't a good feeling at all!
Bob and I have been walking the dogs every night either before or after dinner, he keeps hinting he would like to do it in the morning to but so far he hasn't been that motivated!
As for me, I have also been doing my walk away the pounds dvds and weight training 2-3 times a week. I need to get that down to a more regular schedule.
This week I cooked to SparkRecipes and they were yummy!! I am still having my ups and downs but isn't that how life goes?
Life is a journey and it is meant to be enjoyed! I am looking forward to a more active summer so I am getting going!
Wednesday, January 01, 2014
Yes, I know that EVERYBODY tries to do this come January 1st but I am hoping to stay on track. I am really am worried about my health. So things as of today here are some of the things that are actually currently bothering me.
*I get tired way to easy
*I don't sleep well
*I get rashes where skin rubs
*my moods have been down
*very low self esteem
*more headaches than normal
*i can't kneel
So I want to start all over yet again the Spark way, small steps to get to a bigger goal! In 2009 I lost over 100 lbs and felt wonderful, life wasn't perfect but it was better! I know I can do it again!!
Sunday, September 22, 2013
I started yesterday being nervous. A 5K really 3.1 mile? Not this girl!! OMG what if I am last? Worse...what if I can't finish?! These are the things going through my head. As always I was trying to psych myself out! Trying to come up with an excuse to NOT do this!!
Well, this morning I woke up early and found I was looking forward to it. I was tired, and it was COLD but I was really looking forward to it!
When I got down there just seeing all the people was a little intimidating, runners in their cute little running skirts, 1/2 marathoners warming up. BUT as I looked around I saw the other people too, people like me, people with handicaps, families, kids it was AMAZING!! Why was I scared? At this point I couldn't remember!
When they "sectioned" us off I didn't get in the 1st or 2nd group but I was confident enough to go in the 3rd group to start and I stuck it out pretty well!!
I did a little jogging here and there, I power walked the rest of the time. About half the way to the finish line a girl came up and thanked me (I had talked to her and her sister yesterday and at the beginning of the race) for keeping her motivated. "Thanks, I saw you pass me and I didn't want you to pass me so it made me go faster" she said Hmm, really? challenge on!! So her and I walked together for awhile then the finish line was in sight, I was so tired and she started jogging! The voice in my head said "oh, hell no!" and I started running (if you can call what I do running) I ended up finishing a few minutes before her and I felt GOOD! Really Good!!
When I was almost to the finish line I came close to crying! I felt so happy for me! I believe my time was right around 50 minutes (I didn't see and won't know til the post em tomorrow) but for a 1st 5k done by an 45 year old 238lb woman I will take it!! I am looking forward to more 5ks and maybe some day...a half marathon??
Monday, September 02, 2013
today I am grateful for being able to start over again. That I'm still healthy enough to get up and walk four and a half miles. To enjoy the fresh air and feel the wind in my face.at 238 pounds some people wouldn't be able to do this and I happy I am still able
I have about a hundred eight pounds to lose to reach my goal and today I am re committing myself to make it to goal happen.by exercising five to seven times a week, eating smaller portions and staying away from fast food and soda.
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