CHESSIEKITTY   5,094
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CHESSIEKITTY's Recent Blog Entries

In Case You Figured I'd Given Up

Thursday, August 01, 2013

I have not. Of course, I haven't be doing that great with my plan either.

Yes, my brother remains in the hospital with no answers available. So as a family, we are struggling. Since he was placed in our home, he became the center of our universe. Now the universe is skewed. My Mother and I take turns staying with him because his disability makes it difficult for the Dr's and nurses to understand.

I have gained but at least I have not returned to the weight I was when I first started. I realized the other day that I needed to get back on here. There is so much support and that's what I need desperately.

So YES! I'm still here. Can't promise to come back every day but am certainly going to do my very best to do so. Your support is tremendous and it's my own fault for staying away so long.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMONEKP 8/20/2013 10:34AM

    Stay strong

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MARIANNE9855 8/4/2013 11:35PM

    glad you touched base. I certainly missed you but will continue thinking about your brother and your family-what a difficult time for everyone- I hope the drs can finally figure it out and he can come back home. emoticon

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BEEJAY49 8/2/2013 5:23AM

    You have been missed! I'm so sorry that things are still the way they are and you are all in my prayers. Life happens and not always for the better. I'm glad you are back and know that you can get back on track. Love you! Hugs!

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FELINEBETTER 8/1/2013 2:33PM

    Wow! Quite a surprise indeed! I had thought you'd given up on Spark for good, but you are still on my friend list. I am very sorry to hear that your brother is still so ill, and that your whole family continues to struggle. I'm sending positive healing vibes your way.... emoticon

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TERMITEMOM 8/1/2013 8:20AM

    Yessss, you are back! This is wonderful. With all this stress and taking care of others, it is not surprising you have gained weight. But you are looking at it positively and this is what matters: not throwing in the towel! You will succeed, I know it. You and your brother are in my prayers.

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PLAYFULLKITTY 8/1/2013 7:03AM

    I am so sorry to hear about your brother and the struggles your family are enduring right now. And while you can get plenty of walking in at the hospital sometimes, there are other times, because you must stay by his side, that you cannot. And I'm sure eating healthy is a struggle every day...but it's not impossible...it can be done...i am saying a prayer and sending hugs your way :)

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NOTANINJA 8/1/2013 6:15AM

    emoticon Sending you thoughts and prayers.

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My Family Is Struggling (Updated)

Wednesday, May 08, 2013



I knew he wasn't feeling well yesterday. He didn't smile when I took him his blankie. He didn't want his bus (his favorite of all toys). He wasn't jabbering or singing (a very loud hummmmmmmm). He's so ill emoticon

He isn't healing. Actually, his incision area is healing but his insides are not. If anything, he is worse. A test performed on Monday evening showed distention in both the small and large intestines. I was wondering why the Dr. that came in was questioning us about his biological/familial background with cancer. That word has never even been mentioned or on our thought radar. So, of course, when I got home, I did what you shouldn't do unless you want to be frightened beyond reason. . .I googled it! A distention in the large intestine is rare and is indicative of many things but the most prominent reason is cancer.

.Oh. My. Freakin'. Goodness!

Okay, it is hopefully something else, like diverticulitis, or a twist there, or whatever. . .

BUT

PLEASE GOD...DON'T LET IT BE CANCER! Not for him. Give it to me. I'll take it. I'd take his place right now if it would only bring him good health and bring him home! He's been through so much in his young life! I know God has his reasons and we shouldn't question so I'm not. I just ask that He let me take my brother's place. Let him be well.

***Thank You God!*** It isn't cancer but there is a definite blockage in the large intestine. His surgery has been scheduled for Friday afternoon.
And THANK YOU to all who have commented and lifted prayers for him and for my entire family. They are greatly appreciated and definitely welcomed!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARIANNE9855 5/12/2013 1:41AM

    Its Saturday now, I hope the surgery went well and your brother is on his way to getting better and back home- prayers for him and you and your family. emoticon

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TKLBRIDGET 5/8/2013 5:45PM

    emoticon

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BEEJAY49 5/8/2013 4:08PM

    I see at the end that it's NOT cancer. THANK YOU GOD! :) What a wonderful thing prayer is. :) He will be in my prayers for his surgery and the family will too.

Dear Father, we bow in Your presence to praise and thank You for the blessing on your son. Please be with his doctor's during the surgery and give them the knowledge and skill they need to do Your work and bring this child back to health. Please also wrap Your loving arms around his family and bless them with peace and calmness and the strength to get through this. In the Name of Your Most Holy Son, Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

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JMC155 5/8/2013 1:48PM

    emoticon

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COFFEEMUG2009 5/8/2013 1:37PM

    emoticon

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ELIDET 5/8/2013 9:23AM

    emoticon My husband had stomach cancer and then a year later he had it in his vocal cord.

Even if it is cancer, it is treatable! So don't be scared. You need to be strong, because if it is cancer, you need to find the best cancer hospital so he can get the best treatment!

My husband had the late stages of cancer the first time (it runs in his family). He was on his death bed! And his mom took him to a hospital called City of Hope, which is a hospital and cancer research center.

He is alive and well, and it has been 5 years since! So be strong, cancer is not a death sentence!

Let's hope it is not cancer, but if it is, please know that there are many treatments that work! My husband is a twice survivor!

My thoughts are with you and your family!

Comment edited on: 5/8/2013 9:24:52 AM

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FELINEBETTER 5/8/2013 8:38AM

    This past year has been a rough one for you and your family. I'm so sorry to hear that your brother is still ailing. I'm sending positive healing thoughts your way.

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TERMITEMOM 5/8/2013 7:20AM

    I am so sorry you and your family are going through this anguish! I am praying along with you: Please God, don't let it be cancer! emoticon emoticon

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BLUENOSE63 5/8/2013 7:02AM

  I am praying for you!

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MTNMOM5 5/8/2013 6:47AM

    Hugs and Prayers for all

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Here's Why I'm Away

Thursday, May 02, 2013

I've received several e-mails and I just want to say emoticon I've been away and emoticon so very, very much for caring and for missing me!

Here is one reason for my absence:


My brother (who's handicapped) went into the hospital on April 12th and he's still there. My Mother is staying with him 24/7, even though I have repeatedly asked her to let me. She doesn't want my back to worsen so I am limited to going over to the hospital daily. That in and of itself is stressful and hard on a person too.

Rest assured, I will return. I need to. I have gained about 10lbs because I haven't been focused on the correct foods, actually the correct drinks...yep, you guessed it...Mt. Dew!

But, that is one reason for my absence. I'll blog about the other reasons and share how great my parent's 50th anniversary party went when he returns home and we all get back to some sense of normalcy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARIANNE9855 5/5/2013 9:02PM

    sorry you have had such a challenging time lately- what a strong support you are to your family and brother- hope you will be able to focus on yourself more soon! emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 5/5/2013 12:24AM

  welcome back!

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TERMITEMOM 5/3/2013 7:53PM

    Bless your heart for taking care of your brother!

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CINDYSDAY 5/2/2013 9:15PM

    emoticon

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THRIVE2DAY 5/2/2013 8:13PM

    I had surgery for diverticulosis a few years back and they opened me up like that. They used staples and I looked like a giant zipper! Your brother is in my prayers. It took me a couple of months to recover from major abdominal surgery; luckily I had someone too. God bless you. You're also in my prayers!

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BEEJAY49 5/2/2013 4:47PM

    I am praying for all of you. HUGS!

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FELINEBETTER 5/2/2013 4:01PM

    Take care and hang in there, Sham!

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CREEKLADY1 5/2/2013 3:52PM

  Hope your brother is feeling better and you and your family are in our prayers.

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Making A Return

Sunday, April 07, 2013


Yeah, I took a break.
I was so obsessed with NUMBERS.

From calorie counting and measurements to what my scale shows, I let those blasted numbers rule how I felt about myself.

Don't misunderstand.
I'm not "all-of-a-sudden" cured from weighing and measuring and counting.
I have decided that my identity cannot be measured by those numbers.


During my self-imposed sabbatical, I didn't go crazy, consuming huge amounts of food. Instead, I used what I've learned from when I started on Spark, and have actually lost a little. Perhaps I didn't lose as much as I "should" have since it has been close to a month of being away. But, I'm content with a 5lb weight loss. It's certainly not a weight gain. Yet,


And, I think I may, finally, perhaps, possibly be starting to believe what my boyfriend has been trying to tell me since we first met and became friends over 10 years ago, that


Granted, there will be men AND women who will completely disagree with his assessment. Yet, I may not believe they are all that great looking, outward or inward. You may think Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are simply gorgeous. I disagree.

But, close your eyes. . .now what do you see?
Nothing. You must base the beauty of that person you are interacting with solely on their personality, their beliefs, their morals, and their values.

Yes, I've lost weight. And yes, that has helped my spirits. But as my guy has asked me, "Do you feel better?" My answer is yes. He continues with, "Will you feel better if you lost more?" My answer continues to be yes. His response? I love you, regardless. I love your body. I love your mind. I love everything that is you.

For what more can a gal ask?
And, you know what?
I love him for loving me as I am.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMONEKP 4/15/2013 8:57AM

    emoticon emoticon welcome back!

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TKLBRIDGET 4/8/2013 2:09PM

    emoticon welcome back!

Sometimes I feel like I am a bit obsessed about the number on the scale too. It should be more important how I feel in my own skin. If I am comfortable, healthy and satisfied with my progress, then those should be the measurements that count. Glad you're back blogging again!

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FELINEBETTER 4/8/2013 10:29AM

    Welcome Back! Now the task at hand is to love you as you are!

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BEEJAY49 4/8/2013 4:38AM

    I'm so glad you're back and feeling better about yourself. You are so worth it as we all are! It doesn't matter what the scale says, it's what we say and think about ourselves and how the people closest to us feel about us. I'm glad you're back on track now. I missed you! HUGS!

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MAGA99 4/7/2013 11:47PM

    emoticon

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TERMITEMOM 4/7/2013 9:41PM

    Great! Feel good about yourself! You are so worth it!

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ILOVEMALI 4/7/2013 5:24PM

  How happy you must be!

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THRIVE2DAY 4/7/2013 12:23PM

    Nice blog.

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MARIANNE9855 4/7/2013 10:11AM

    so glad you are back! and you are absolutely right on all of your statements- and you are a beautiful woman- I would give anything for your hair. But you are also kind, generous, thoughtful etc and a great blog to read!

I admit I love the scale to move but I continue to make my long list of NSVs that get longer all the time and they are the things I wanted to get healthy for. So to me I am a success regardless of what the rest of the world thinks about my outside! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JMC155 4/7/2013 9:05AM

    emoticon back. I have missed your blogs. He is right you know (at the risk of getting stoned for saying a man is right) if we feel better that is what counts. I had my trainer ask me the same questions this week. Because not a single number changed in 3 months. I finally agreed that if I feel better that is what is important. emoticon emoticon and remember your are emoticon

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Why Crisis Mode?

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Update posted at the end...

I know I haven't been changing my status or blogging. But, life's mean streak decided to come crashing down. My brother is still causing great stress in both my parent's life and mine. And I thought that was bad enough. Then, on top of that, my back goes out and has stayed "out" regardless of rest, movement, medication, no medication, nothing makes a difference.
And then there's this:

This is Bitty Girl, or I also call her PeePee. There's no reason for the nickname, I just started calling her that. She is my, somewhere between, 13-15 year old kitty. I had noticed that she was hiding herself but didn't give it much thought until she hid under my bed for an entire day. I pulled her out and put her on my bed. And there she has stayed.

She hasn't eaten.
She hasn't drank.
She peed on my bed in a couple places and I could care less. The last time it was bloody.
She is dying.

Those of you who have read some of my blogs know that I do not have two-legged children so my babies are of the four-legged purring kind.
And therefore, my heart has exploded with pain. I have cried on and off, and even as I'm writing this, for the past two days. I laid beside her crossways my bed for the past two nights; staying awake to remove the dried, crusted snot from her nose so she can breathe.
I would like to believe she understands when I tell her that she doesn't have to struggle anymore to go ahead and let go, that she is a beautiful kitty, and I love her. Even if she doesn't understand, it's true so why not tell her?

Granted, there will be some who think I've lost it to be so broken up over "a cat." Well, you don't really want to know what I have to say to you.

Before I realized she was dying, I was struggling because I couldn't exercise because of the back pain. Now, I wish that was the only pain with which I am dealing.

I'll hopefully be back soon, blogging with my usual picturesque humor.
But for now, my heart is breaking, my back hurts, and my face is swollen from tears.
And that, my dear Sparkler friends, is why I'm in crisis mode.

An update: She began suffering on Thursday around 1AM so when I could I called the vet and took her in to be euthanized. My best friend took me and cried with me. But, now Bitty is no longer suffering and is playing at The Rainbow Bridge waiting for me to join her and all my other four-legged babies! Thank you all for your words of encouragement and support.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVEMALI 4/5/2013 1:12PM

  I am so sorry.

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SNUZSUZ 3/16/2013 8:22AM

    I'm so sorry!

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CINDYSDAY 3/15/2013 4:51PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ITISABOUTME 3/14/2013 10:28PM

    So sorry for your loss. Our pets are very important to us and very much a part of the family. Take care and hope your heart heals quickly!! emoticon

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MARIANNE9855 3/14/2013 1:59AM

    So sorry about your kitty-they really are our best friends in a way that humans never are- hopefully she will have peace soon.
It seems like you have had more than your share of trials and hard times recently- I so hope things get better.
Remember we are all here for you

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LILLIPUTIANNA 3/13/2013 7:36PM

    Oh! You poor thing! My husband and I recently had to put down our 12 year old basset hound. So, I understand completely! I hope your kitty passes soon, and easily. Be there for her. Comfort her. I'm sure she knows you love her.

Be well.

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Comment edited on: 3/13/2013 7:37:22 PM

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BABYBLUESMOMMA 3/13/2013 4:05PM

    There's no such thing as "only a cat"
I have a fur baby in addition to my human one. My other 13 year old fur baby died 3 years ago. Similar situation, she was laying in the middle of the floor in the way like always, so I went to nudge her with my foot. Instead of getting up and walking away, she just let me push her. By the next day she couldn't/wouldn't get up. We had scheduled an appt to have her euthanized the following day, but she passed during the night. Losing a pet can be very devastating and you are in my thoughts.

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BEEJAY49 3/13/2013 3:56PM

    My heart truly goes out to you. I too had the 4 legged babies all my life and it was very painful when they went to the rainbow bridge. I hurt for you also. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the little one. God Bless and Hugs!

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TERMITEMOM 3/13/2013 3:20PM

    Don't let anybody tell you that pets do not matter. They do, nad they become a part of who you are. I am very sorry for you. Are you familiar with the Rainbow Bridge poem?

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ARCHIMEDESII 3/13/2013 2:54PM

    Pets are part of the family. I know I cried when my cat had to be put down. the poor thing was suffering from kidney failure. We all new it was time. It was a sad moment for everyone.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Peepee.

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TKLBRIDGET 3/13/2013 1:49PM

    I am so sorry about your kitty. My cat booboo kitty died 5 years ago (she was 16) and I still think about her often. She was my roadcat and went everywhere with me. Hopefully your kitty is not in a lot of pain and will pass peacefully.
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SIMONEKP 3/13/2013 12:37PM

    emoticon

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SOTIREDOFTHIS 3/13/2013 12:29PM

  I am weeping as I write this. I feel your pain. I am a cat lover and owner and do have a two legged baby. The animals are a part of our family. Obviously their ailing pales in comparison to that of which I would feel if my son was sick. But, my family and I would still be crushed if anything were to happen to the four legged ones.

I had 2 cats before I had my son. I had them a long time and they both ended up having to be put to sleep, we spent thousands of $$ trying to help them and keep them alive, but they both had cancer. In the end the humane thing for us was to have them put to sleep, it was a very difficult decision. When we had one of the cats, that preferred my husband, put to sleep, my husband actually shed tears.......I had never seen him cry until then. So, even though they are animals, they indeed become part of your family.

I am so sorry for All of your pain....I truly hope that something wonderful is awaiting you around the next corner. You deserve a break!

Hugs to you.....

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DIET_FRIEND 3/13/2013 12:03PM

    I'm so sorry that you are suffering and that you will be losing a good companion that you've had for a long time. emoticon

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NEEDBU66 3/13/2013 11:53AM

    My heart goes out to you for the illness of your sweet little kittie. It is a terrible thing to lose our pets and the pain is just as great as if it was one of your two-legged kids.
This poem came to mind so I'm copying and pasting it for you:
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...
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KIMBERLY19732 3/13/2013 11:47AM

    emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 3/13/2013 11:46AM

  Hope your cat doesn't have to suffer too much.

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