Thursday, April 03, 2014
The question to ponder today is what my craving looks like. The first time I went through "Made to Crave," I think it looked like a big comfy couch, something in which to curl up and forget about the world. But now, as I am consider other studies I'm doing, I'm thinking my craving looks more like me as a spoiled child.
Always looking to do something better...actually it's more like realizing I HAVE to change my behavior or there will be dire consequences...I began working on something that Pam Young (of the Sidetracked Sisters) developed some years ago about naming your inner brat. There is part of us that always wants our own way, and that part of us has to be trained not to be such a brat. This brat does NOT want to get organized or clean or do any of the things she should do. She only wants to do what's fun. So I think my craving looks like that spoiled version of me, who wants ice cream NOW, so I will have it NOW.
In addition to the training of my inner brat, I'm also in a church study group of "Experiencing God," where we are currently learning how when we hear what God wants to do through us, it requires us to adjust our lives to God's call. That is, to not give in to the brat inside us who doesn't want to change. I should say, the brat in ME who doesn't want to change.
Of course, it will get me nowhere to refuse to adjust to God. I will have no witness for others to see God working. So today, when I came home from church, I was a little hungry and thought maybe I would stop at Dairy Queen and get a Mini Flurry. After all, it's small, and I hadn't had any dessert today. I wrestled with myself, especially as I turned the corner and saw the Dairy Queen. But I did NOT stop! If God is going to work through me, I have to say to my inner brat, "No. We will not have ice cream right now. We can have it another time, but not now. It is important for you and I to be able to have self control. You may not like it right now, but you will appreciate it later."
Thank you, Lord, for today's victory, and for loving me AND my inner brat!
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
The song "Break Every Chain" has been in my head for days now, and I think I know why. God knows that I need Jesus' power to break my slavery to food. So, literally, one day at a time, I will call on the name of the Lord and walk in His victory to break every chain!
Monday, March 31, 2014
It's been a while since I've bee an active on SparkPeople. I have been entering fitness minutes, so it's not like I've been sluggish. But my eating habits! Arrrgh! I find myself thinking about food constantly, and giving in to the desire to eat. A lot. So much so that I'm slowly approaching the weight I was when I started on SparkPeople four and a half years ago.
On one hand, I am stronger physically because I am working out on a regular basis since I finally found an exercise buddy! But now I need a food buddy or something. I have started "Made to Crave" more than once, but never finished it. Since tomorrow is April 1st, perhaps that's a good time to start. And that's not an April Fool's joke!
Friday, January 03, 2014
Some time last year I posted a blog about eating "with abandon." When will I learn?
I got on the scale this morning and was not surprised to see that I had gained weight. My jeans don't fit as well as they used to, and I have resorted occasionally to wearing exercise clothes or my jeans with the stretchy waistband in the back.
Now, honestly, if I had been exercising, I probably would have at least maintained the weight I was at and my jeans wouldn't be so tight. But I haven't been exercising, (I've been so busy, you know!) and I've been eating whatever I want, when I want. So, no, I wasn't surprised to see that number on the scale this morning.
I know that I can do this. I just have to get past myself and my own selfish desires. I need to, as the song goes "Forget about myself, and concentrate on Him and worship Him" which would be the complete opposite of what I've been doing.
It's very interesting to me that the English word "abandon" sounds a little like how in English we might pronounce the Hebrew word "Abaddon." I don't have a self-pronouncing King James Bible at the house right now, so I can't check it, but if, as a speaker of east/Midwest American English, I would say "Uh BAD dun," which to me sounds a lot like the word "abandon." So, with that LENGTHY introduction, here is Revelation 9:11 in the King James Version:
"And they had a king over them, which is the angel of the bottomless pit, whose name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon, but in the Greek tongue hath his name Apollyon."
I find it fascinating that Abaddon was the angel of the "bottomless pit," which is exactly how I have been eating lately. It's kind of like I've been eating with Abaddon, which is a horrible thought! And further, the Greek Apollyon, Hebrew equivalent Abaddon, means to destroy or corrupt. And really, when I'm eating "with abandon," I really am destroying and corrupting my body, and my relationship with the Lord, because I am putting food before Him.
So, back to studying "Made to Crave," because in order to learn, I have to put this way of thinking into action.
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