Thursday, December 05, 2013
"Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" Nehemiah 8:10b
A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
"...joy runs deeper than despair."
~ Corrie Ten Boom
We named our 6th daughter Joy! :-) There are things that make me happy, of course, like most. But there are only CERTAIN things that bring actual JOY! My husband and my children bring me the most joy of anything in this world. I count myself to be tremendously blessed that I have been able to experience a true, deep, and satisfying joy this side of heaven! :-)
May you ALL find Joy during this season, and all year long! :-)
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Ahhh...this is such a shameful kind of blog to write...but it was a question posed to me, so I'm going to try and answer it as honestly and openly as I possibly can.
So....the question is: why don't I exercise or not exercise enough?
*blink, blink* **crickets chirping**
As of late, my exercise has been few and far between. I'm lucky to pull it off a few times a week. When I do, it's SO half done. I am square in the middle of not one, not even two, but THREE weight loss challenges/competitions. Wouldn't you think I would be working my BUTT off?? Yeah, I would think so.........yet I am not.
I don't have a real "reason" for not working out. There isn't anything I think when I'm not going to exercise. I barely think of something when I AM going to exercise. What one of my major problems is my crappy ALL OR NOTHING attitude. I always feel like if I can't do it "right", "all the way", then I can't do it at all. That has gotten me in to serious trouble. In fact, it's gotten me to where I am today!
Other than rewiring my brain, I am just not sure what I need to do in order to "convince" myself that it is INDEED okay to do a quick workout in lieu of a FULL workout. Why in the world would I not just DO SOMETHING instead of doing NOTHING?! I don't understand myself!
So, once I get myself into a groove, then I will be the workout QUEEN - getting all of my workouts in on the days I schedule...until the day that I can't for one reason or another. Oh that slippery slope.....then I start to backslide, feel guilt over a missed workout...oh I'm sure by now you can see the pattern!
I was doing so well, and fell back into the "it'll all work out" pattern...even though I'm not WORKING OUT!!! UGH!!!
Of course, I have control over this - I will FIGHT this - and I will make it work in my favor!! I will get my groove back!
No excuses....just solutions!! From here on out!!! :-)
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
WELL - we are at week 4 in the BLC - and I am going to reflect a bit on what I've been doing, but also what I NEED to do differently moving into week 5.
Last week was actually one of my better weeks, as far as participation, and effort given. Although I'm not at "peak" effort, I have made an actual effort to take part in all challenges that are being issued. That's a big deal, considering how busy and overwhelmed I have been feeling the last 2 months.
I even went so far as to make a PLAN for what to do over the weekend. I ended up needing to travel 10 hours to go to a weekend long clinic, and then 10 more hours to get home. That is overwhelming to me in and of itself, especially considering the food aspect. Fortunately, I really sat down and thought it out - even figuring restaurants that I could eat at, and what I would order when I got there! I made sure I packed plenty of water, and had healthy snacks I packed so I had NO excuses to stop at gas stations to get something (read: ANYTHING!) to eat.
I also would have NEVER exercised - especially with how tired I was and given the fact that I was in the car for so long, and sitting in clinics for so long (although I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was a "hands on" clinic, so I didn't have to SIT all day! I was moving!), but I forced myself to do SOMETHING. Even if I didn't feel like it. I even "allowed" myself 10 minutes. JUST TO DO SOMETHING. It actually worked. I don't know if I could convince myself this would be "okay" for the long term (I've tried, and failed) but I am going to start.
One thing that's been helping is logging my steps. Some days I'm so horribly surprised at how LITTLE steps I am actually taking. It's been an eye opener. It's also encouraging me to move more!
I feel in my heart of hearts that I'm not "contributing" like I should - I want to be ACTIVE, and chat, and win all the awards (or at least be in the top 10) and, and, and.... That's all fine and good, but I also know that I allow myself too often to burn out. I am trying to rewire my brain to understand, I don't HAVE to do it ALL. I don't have to be the BEST. I just need to put forth the effort. Some days are better than others. And that is OK. SOME effort is better than NO effort! This is a super hard concept for me to wrap my brain around. I feel like I am making progress - that is a huge plus!!
So - for next week - what am I going to try and do differently? WELL - taking a page out of last week's book, I am going to PLAN. Food for me generally isn't an issue when I'm at home. I am good about making sure I have healthy snacks in the house, I generally eat well all three meals, and for the most part keep tempting goodies out of the house. (If I didn't have children to care for that makes all this possible, who KNOWS what it would be like!) My biggest hurdle is actually getting in my workouts. I KNOW how important this is for me in order to be successful with weight loss. It can't be hit and miss - I need to do it. Why wouldn't I plan for that??
When I don't have a plan, I waste time. If I know EXACTLY what I need to do, and I'll go a step further, SCHEDULE it, I get it done! No brainer, right? Well, I'd think so, but clearly this is an area I have been struggling with for quite some time now. BUT - for next week - I am going to really focus and THINK about my daily To Do list. I am going to put in some time to work out - I'm even going to specify WHAT I am going to do so I don't have to even think about that. I'm going to follow ALL that advice that you hear ALL the time about how to implement habits....and I'm going to practice it this week! It's my "experiment". Ha ha!
So - to summarize - last week went pretty darn good - I had a plan for food.
This week - I am continuing with my regular food planning. I will also make a daily plan to include specific exercises to do (time lines included) so that I can float through my day from activity to activity.
I should be able to make this a reality. I can make it a success - I just have to allow myself to trust the process instead of trying to FIX it myself! TRUST THE PROCESS!
Here's to a great week!!
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Is there a scarier feeling than apathy? I'm starting to think not. That's how this week has been going for me....
Let me start out by saying, we were challenged to NOT GAIN this week - and I met that goal! I lost .8 this week...which when you look back at the kind of week I had, is amazing in and of itself! So, I am not exactly on track to lose 6 pounds in three weeks - in two more weeks I still would like to lose 5.2. It might be possible, but I certainly won't count it the end of the world if I don't. I just know I am SO CLOSE to getting into the 210's that it really does tend to drive me to want to do it quickly for the FEEL of getting to that goal. But - numbers are numbers - and they play out in whatever way they will. I'm not stressing about it.
This week was another week I struggled with fitness. Every day was a struggle to get anything accomplished. (Except for Friday - we had Relay for Life, and I was able to get in 2 hours no problem! Not to mention all the time spent in the bouncy house...) My streaks are alive. Barely, but alive nonetheless!
Challenges - again - barely. I did them...but I'm hanging by a thread. It was difficult. But I managed to eek them out all week. On the plus side, I am glad that I am at the very least TRYING and accomplishing something....but I'm also frustrated with my lack of caring right now.
My biggest goal for the upcoming week is to keep PUSHING myself back into caring again. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting something - yet not caring about getting it. How weird does that sound?! I'm still focused to the point where I haven't tossed my eating out the window - I'm still on track with that. Even my water suffered the last couple of days. *sigh*
I am just going to pull up my big girl panties and DO WHAT I NEED TO DO, whether I like it or not!! I know that most of the time I can do something, and the feelings will come later. It's my mantra - I've been living it for years now - FAKE IT 'TILL I MAKE IT!!
I don't mean to be such a Debbie downer this week - I just don't feel so great about the week - despite my loss....despite still exercising somewhat....despite eating well...I'm just not feeling it. I am focusing my energy on that all week. I will make me want to want it again! Next week will be more optimistic! Promise!
Friday, June 28, 2013
Aaaaw - I am SO bummed! I don't know what happened, but I typed out a HUGE blog post on Wednesday night for this week's PAWSE and reflect....and it is GONE! It's not there! :-( I hope I can recapture some of what I originally put in there!!!! I'm gonna give it a try........
Well, this week we were challenged to lose 1/2% of our body weight. For me, that would mean a 1.1 pound loss. I didn't want to sound like I was making excuses, so I didn't say anything to the team....but I can't lose weight like that. I can look at a given week and say I'll lose 3 pounds based on everything being done right, and I will lose .2! It's not ever fair. I have grown accustomed to being happy that I just have a loss. I'm really okay with it! So I was NERVOUS to have an actual number in front of me to try and achieve. I am happy to say, I TOTALLY blew myself away, and lost 1.8 pounds!!! Following a 1 pound loss last week!! I was elated, and SO proud that I met the goal....NO - I EXCEEDED the goal!!! WOO HOO!!! Can I REALLY do this?!
Now I struggled with fitness this week. I was able to get in over 300, so I met my goal as far as that was concerned. But I went down over 100 minutes from last week! I am still, however, keeping up with both my SparkStreak, and the BLC Streak! Keep on keeping on!! I am fired up - and plan on adding to those numbers greatly, but more about that in a bit.
I again participated in all challenges - that was even with being sick with a fever and needing to go to the Walk-In clinic on Friday! Again, amazed at what I actually can do - and I'm not being a martyr about this! I didn't do a whole lot on Thursday or Friday...I let myself start to feel better first. I had permission from the doc to pick up as soon as the chest heaviness went away - and Saturday I was up and running again! ( I guess that could be why my minutes were so low this week.....duh!)
Since editing my blog last week, I have been working on the 30 Day Shred. NOW - I haven't consistently gotten it done every day! I'm not sure where that leaves me with it, I don't know if I should just count 10 days that I do it and say that's phase 1, or if I should start it and actually do it for 10 days IN A ROW! Thoughts from anyone who's done it before?
So - since we were challenged with an actual number to lose this week, I am deciding to step up my game! Since I met the challenge, I am going to push myself a little harder, a little father, and TOTALLY out of my comfort zone. I am challenging myself to lose 6 pounds over the next 3 weeks. 2 pounds a week. Shouldn't be a problem for someone like me that has a BMI higher than 30. And, why is the 6 pounds significant, you may ask? Well, I will finally break into the 210's. Probably for the first time since 2009. Over 4 years ago. THAT will be a major accomplishment for me....but I think I can make it there in 3 weeks!!! I am going to push myself like I've never been pushed before!! I'm going to Jillian Michaels my own rear end! LOL
I am at a point right now, where I can feel the changes taking place. Normally I avoid any exercise that puts me vertical - with feet off the ground. Last week and a half, I purposely pick exercises that take me off the ground! (JUMP ROPE!!) So much of what I'm personally going through is mental. I have to break through this stuff mentally, in order to see that I AM capable of stuff!! I can do so much more than I give myself credit for! Now I am setting out to prove it to myself!! Wish me luck!! :-)
Here's to a GREAT week!!! :-)
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