Tuesday, December 02, 2014
I went to North Carolina and back over Thanksgiving. It was a long drive ... Over 9 hours ... And I did all the driving. One thing that helped me was finding a car in the traffic that was going the pace that I wanted to go and just following along and using it as my "pace car". Since my cruise control doesn't work, it was nice to just follow along and not have to worry about my speed all the time...the pace car did that for me.
Today I weighed in... Something I've been dreading. I'm at 243...the exact weight I started at back in 2010 when I started SP. During my journey here, I lost 90 pounds. But now I've gained it all back. I need to follow a pace car back on this long journey. Since I blogged my way thin before, I'm going to use my blogs and tracking from before as my "pace car".
My first entry on SP was...
"So I begin another weight loss journey. Will this be the journey to the destination? I hope so. I'm really tired of trying, starting, failing. :( I want to try, start, succeed. I think I can do this. I know I can do this. I am smart and I like to write and I like to interact with the computer. So, this should be a perfect fit, right? I think so.
I would love to just ride this wave all the way to the finish without looking back, without falling off, without having to start over again. Well, as of right now, I'm 100% on track. :) So, why not? I CAN do this. Now, I begin. "
It rings true today for me. So I begin...again...and my plan is to go all the way to the finish. I CAN do it. And right now, I'm 100% on track.
Monday, September 29, 2014
I've begun...again...my journey to thinness. I've really lost my way and gained almost all my weight back. I weighed in this morning at 234. But at least I'm not at 243...which is where I originally started SP back in 2010. I had gotten down into the 150's. What happened?
This new job, mainly. It's a good job. But very stressful. I went through a major ordeal with someone from management when I first started. It really knocked me for a loop. I ended up with PTSD from it. But that is all past me now. I feel I have recovered from the PTSD. And now I'm in a management position...and the offensive individual is gone. So, it was a long road...but life has righted itself.
Now to right my weight. I know how to do this. I've been with SP off and on since 2010. I was 100% in back when I lost all my weight. Then I've been off and on while I gained it all back. So, that's a pretty good indication of where I need to be to accomplish my goal of weight loss.
Good things currently happening in my life...my daughter just had another baby. I have 3 granddaughters now. Here's a picture of me with her two daughters...taken just a week ago...
My other daughter recently moved out so we are working on cleaning out her old living space (half of our basement)...and we are going to put in a workout room...yay! That should help.
Bad stuff...over the weekend my husband had a seizure while driving. It was really scarey. He usually only has them when he is sleeping. Luckily, we were at a stop light and I was able to put the car in park and turn it off and call 911. So, we didn't hit anyone and no one hit us. But, it was just really scarey for me. I've had a hard time getting over it. He goes to see the doctor today. He is not allowed to drive currently (which is fine with me...after that, I don't want him driving). But we came to find out that he had missed one of his pills for a couple of days and so his levels of that medicine were nil...which was the probably cause of the seizure. I am going to take him to his doctor today. I have a lot of conflicting thoughts about all of this. Needless to say, it was a heavy eating weekend for me. I really need to quit having food be my "go to" when life gets hard. I'm 234 lbs of life being hard. It needs to stop...today...so I'm stopping.
Time to get ready for work. Hope you all have a great day! Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! (I'm fighting sinusitis...ugh.)
Friday, July 25, 2014
So, I really like all the encouragement I received on the deep fried veggies (yesterday's blog)...and we are going to the state fair tomorrow...I'm sure they'll appear there too. I don't know what I will have tomorrow...but I plan to keep things in check...and stay food sober.
Today completed a week of being food sober. My big success today was giving myself a break when I could feel the stress getting to be too much...instead of pushing myself on. If I had learned to do this when I was young and when I began, instead, to turn to food to get me through my homework, maybe I wouldn't have to be re-training my behavior today. But, it is what it is...and I'm going to keep trying until it sticks. I am hopeful this is "it." I know it could be...it's up to me.
Today I noticed the difference in how I feel...after only a week of being on track. My jeans fit better. My belt is notched further. My ribs and mid section do not feel squished under the fat. It's getting better. That all means more to me than the scale...and the scale was not kind today...so what. While I do want and expect to see the scale drop, it's not "all that." There are other aspects of my obesity that bother me more right now than the number that comes up on the scale. The way I feel and the way the fat effects me on a daily basis are more of a motivator than the scale. Those are the true effects of the fat.
Tonight, I was watching Black Box. As I watched Katherine and all the challenges she faced, I got the point. She had just gotten back on track with her disorder and her meds and all these things were happening to her...any one of which could entice her to "lose it." But she just took it all in stride... Yep, that's it. That's life. Stuff happens. We just have to take it in stride and go on. And hopefully, some good stuff will offset the bad...but either way...just keep on keepin on. Going to a drug, alcohol, behavior, or food is not the solution. Pushing through and keeping your head through it all is the way to go.
Hope you all had a great TGIF! Keep up the good work! Have a great weekend! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on!
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