Tuesday, October 07, 2014
I went to Zumba tonight. It made me feel good, great actually.
i can't wait to do it again tomorrow.
I heard from an old friend today. He had tattooed my name onto his arm and then we lost contact. So many years and there was a reason he didn't stay in my life, that is being in jail for impaired driving. He said that he was seriously injured last year in a car crash caused by an impaired driver. It is good that it made him finally quit drinking.
I got to read about workaholics anonymous and it rang so true for me.
I have a pattern of working until i cannot function then taking a year off on medical leave to recover. I don't have that kind of employment insurance anymore. In this last while i have used family needs to caretake and avoid my own feelings of insecurity or to build my ego.
Plus, i realized that i can only do quilting or sewing projects for others when i do it in a very self-damaging way and procrastinate the work until it has to be done. Creating a crisis that is a huge detriment to my work, sleep and family.
I do not know how to work or do other projects as a sane person would do. Stopping smoking has made me short-tempered , irritable and also given me some clarity.
i am going to learn how to work and sew in a way that is not intense, but methodical. It was the turtle who won the race after all.