Friday, April 09, 2010
So since it's SNOWING today I can not be outside gardening and tell you all about my first experience roller blading!
My 9-YO gets out of school and I have clothes all ready for her. She asks where we are going and I just tell her that we are going on an adventure. Sure was an adventure! There is this cute little park in town with a paved track and grass on both sides (good for falling I think). Neither one of us have ever been on roller blades. First lap around I have my daughter put her skates on and I walk around with her. She does pretty well. Then she wants to be by herself. Of course there is a boy about 12 zooming around the track on blades, a mother with a stroller, an older couple walking and a lady about my age power walking. As soon as we start the boy is gone. Too bad, I wanted to watch him to see how he does it! All of the people are so nice, they all chit-chat with us when passing. That's why I love my little town. The people are really friendly for the most part.
Then after my daughter wants to be on her own, it's time for my big debut. OK, I can stand on these pretty well. OK, I can move pretty well. Reminds me of roller skating in the 80's in a way. Then an older gentleman walks by with this huge fish he just caught. I remark on what a nice fish it is. He stops to chat. OOPS... lost my balance and down I go. "I'm so sorry, Honey. I didn't mean to make you fall!" It's fine. Only my pride is hurt. Of course all of the people strolling by have to comment on how brave I am to try skating. "Never would get ME on those things!"
Almost make it around the full lap when I realize that I'm going down hill. Then I realize that I don't know how to stop. I do know where the brake is, but it is a matter of being able to use it. I choose wiping out again instead of going out of control. Just as I'm getting up, a mom and her toddler enter the track with a big Power Wheels car. Mom keeps yelling "Watch out for the people!" and I decide it's time for my exit.
All in all it was a fun experience. The next day my bum was sore not from falling but from muscle ache, so realize what a good exercise it will be. Next time maybe will try in the rink so it is level. Always did dream of being in the roller derby when I was young, maybe there's hope for me yet...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Ahh...the water park.
I think I did good. I put on that bathing suit, no towel wrapped around for security, and happily walked out with my family. Of course at this point the bathing suit is one of those 2-piece skirted jobs instead of the teeny bikini, but I did feel comfortable in it.
Then we started floating down the lazy river on the inner tubes and I was trying to help my daughter get back onto her tube. ROLL CAMERA! Over I flip off the tube, legs over head, under the tube, under water. The lifeguard comes running. I get up. I tell them that I think I can handle it because IT'S ONLY 2.5' DEEP! My daughter is laughing "Mommy, that was really funny!" I laugh too "Yeah, I bet it was!". The only thing that was not so funny is that when I was flipping I hit the inside of my elbow on the rock wall and now have a bruise and scrape about 6" wide by 8" long. That really hurt. My pride wasn't hurt. It WAS funny.
Of course I just couldn't help myself. I found myself comparing myself to others from a distance. OK, I'm about HER size. Strange thing was when that person got closer and was right next to me, she was almost twice my size. Next one would come up that I thought was about the same size as myself, same thing would happen. After a few misses I realized how skewed my perception of myself has been. Then I had to try to pick slightly smaller people and work my way down and was really pretty surprised when the one that walked past me that was actually about the same size as myself at how small she actually was.
Thank you Spark People and all of my buddies for the support. It really does begin from the inside out, doesn't it? We need to accept ourselves and get a realistic self image before we can begin our transformation. Maybe now I can rid myself of a lot of my negative self-hating and turn it to a much more positive theme. Chronic pain can really do a number on you can't it, body and mind!
Monday, March 08, 2010
those dreaded 2 words have left fear in me for the past few years. Tomorrow we are headed to Lake George to spend an overnight at the indoor water park for my daughter's 9th birthday.
Isn't it funny how we don't appreciate what we have when we have it? I think I must have looked nice body-wise in my teens and twenties. Never had to worry about my weight (sorry to those of you who have). Even in my twenties I was asked to and did a commercial that aired on the television where I was in a tanning bed in a tiny little neon pink bikini. So others must not have thought I looked too bad or they wouldn't have asked me to do the commercial, right? How did they get me in that commercial you ask? It was for a Country Club that I was bartending at and when they asked me to be in the commercial I said "no problem". Figured I'd be behind the bar in the commercial. Surprise, "put this on". Good thing the owners of the Country Club were such wonderful people and they look me by surprise!
Strange thing was, was that I was always self conscious. I never thought that my body looked that good. I always felt fat (even at 125 lbs/ 5' 8") and have never been comfortable in a swimsuit. Of course, now it doesn't help matters that my DH of 10 years, dated for 3 years before that still looks wonderful with not an ounce of fat on his very muscular body (one benefit of being a farmer). If anything, his body looks better, more muscular and well defined. That sucks in a way. I'm proud of him but wish I'd kept up better. Feels like it accents the worse that I look.
Things are going to change this year in bathing suit land.
I promise that I am going to let loose and just have fun and stop worrying about what others may think of how I look.
I'll try not to notice all the younger girls and women checking out my DH and me getting nipped a little by that jealousy bug.
I'm going to try to be happy with what I look like at this point (because the weight is just not going away) and live life to the fullest, which doesn't include being self conscious.
I'm going to have FUN tomorrow (pain permitting...).
Saturday, March 06, 2010
I really wanted to sleep in a little this morning since I have to work 3-11pm tonight. That just wasn't meant to be. Bright and early my daughter had to go searching for her hurt kitty Oreo. That in itself, not an issue BUT... she started heading down the stairs to the walk-out basement (steep and about 20 of them). She got really excited because she saw Oreo sitting by the glass door that she proceeded to tumble down the entire 2 flights of stairs. Big booms and screams. Sure woke me up from a sound sleep and got me off to a running start!
So all-in-all a good morning. No broken bones with the child, just some scrapes and bruises. Poor little Oreo (see my blog from last night for her story) is walking pretty slow but seems fine. I picked her up and felt her all over and no definite areas of pain for her. She's eating well and purring away this morning just walking and moving pretty stiff and sore. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK, YOU! For returning our baby safe and sound!
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