DERVAPPY13   3,523
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DERVAPPY13's Recent Blog Entries

I just can't.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

I've pretty much gained everything back and destroyed any progress I'd made.
I can't make myself do anything.
I can't do this and I don't want to try anymore.
It just makes me feel even more terrible about myself when I ruin it all.

I don't know what else to do.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 5/29/2014 9:54AM

    Sounds like there's something in your life that's got you unhappy. That's the key: if you can resolve this you will be able to do anything. Good luck to you.

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STEVEN2GO2 5/29/2014 1:48AM

    Do not give up, you still are not above where you started. Give yourself a mini-break and start fresh June 1!

You just have to start a new emoticon !

Also you may be learning what helps and what does not. If you learn from what you have done you are taking steps forward in the future!

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MCJULIEO 5/29/2014 12:07AM

    Some very good advice here.....

The only way you can be defeated is if you quit. We're rooting for YOU.

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LIFENPROGRESS 5/28/2014 1:30PM

    You CAN. How do I know? Because I did. In 2009, I lost 66 pounds here... and in 2010, I let it all go and gained it back.

I'm here yet again and I'v e lost 17 pounds so far. I'm here for ME. I want to be healthy for ME.

Now is the time to focus on YOU.

YOU have the ability... YOU have the will.

I will come here and cheer you on to victory! emoticon Y*O*U are emoticon and you will not be defeated!!!

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TRIXYMAHOGANY 5/28/2014 1:29PM

    I know it's hard, but try to just take it one day at a time. Do one thing each day that you can be proud of. If you never eat enough vegetables, try to just get an extra serving in every day - that way at the end of the day, you can point to a specific thing that you did and say, "Hey, I did that, that's good, I should be proud."

And eventually, that one thing a day becomes a habit, and you can start working on something else.

Anyway, I wish you luck in all your endeavors and hope that you feel better soon. emoticon

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AJR2013AJR 5/28/2014 1:29PM

    Why don't you just try focusing on exercise instead of doing it all? Consistent walking goes a long way for maintaining weight. Progress is not always linear!

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Back

Sunday, May 11, 2014

I didn't mean to "give up" but I guess i kind of did? Whatever, I'm gonna get back on the dang wagon and keep going. At least I didn't regain everything, so if nothing else, I am NOT starting back at square one--I've kept some of my progress!!

I'm starting my new job soon, so at least i can't mindlessly eat throughout the day anymore. Once I get a decent schedule down mentally, I'll see what I can do.

  


Back

Sunday, May 11, 2014

I didn't mean to "give up" but I guess i kind of did? Whatever, I'm gonna get back on the dang wagon and keep going. At least I didn't regain everything, so if nothing else, I am NOT starting back at square one--I've kept some of my progress!!

I'm starting my new job soon, so at least i can't mindlessly eat throughout the day anymore. Once I get a decent schedule down mentally, I'll see what I can do.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 5/12/2014 8:44AM

    Oh, it's so hard to shift gears and get into a new schedule! I wish for you the best on your new job. May it be challenging enough to keep you stimulated, easy enough to keep you from going crazy, and pay enough to have some "rainy day" money for yourself.

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MCJULIEO 5/11/2014 11:09PM

    So good to have you back!

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ARNETTELEE 5/11/2014 9:24PM

  You can do it!

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Prepare to Gain! (no, seriously, I've been preparing lol)

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Sorry about my outburst in my last entry...I REALLY needed to get all that frustration out to SOMEBODY because it was driving me wild with no outlet big enough to handle the surge that was trying to explode out lol! I'm...staying away from pilates. Like, really away. I don't need to start crying after 80 seconds of trying s video.

ANYWHO, I FINALLY get the see my boyfriend tomorrow night!! For the first time since August!! I'm so excited it's unbelievable! I get to see my precious Aggieland again for a whole week! HOORAY!!! With it being practically a holiday for me (and AggieCon! WHOOP!), I do expect to go way over my calorie limits and all that for a couple days straight, so I know my weight is going to bounce back up for a bit...but I'm prepared for it. Almost welcoming it, even, considering all the fun and reunions it represents to me! Heck, I'm kind of hoping the damage won't be as bad as I'm expecting since I'll prety much be walking everywhere in town. My boyfriend is situated within walking distance (for me, anyway) of 99% of the places I need/want to go! Yes!!

Now, last night I did get a scare from my laptop. After troubleshooting/researching a bit, I've come to the conclusion that the ac port is damaged (something probably loose) and needs to be fixed. Which, from what I hear, can cost me $150ish. Still better than a totally new computer, but ouch! I do have a temporary "fix", though, so I can use my machine...I just need to duct tape the jack into the port REALLY tightly until I can get it to someone....better than nothing.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SALAM4545 4/6/2014 3:41PM

    Congrats on getting to see your sweetie! Have a great trip!

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MCJULIEO 4/1/2014 11:55PM

    Duct tape has rescued more projects than we can even imagine!

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I HATE STUPID PILATES

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Every time I try one of the stupid pilates video I end up crying within 2 minutes. I feel like such a failure and a stupid lump of useless. Even the beginner/intro video makes me just feel TERRIBLE about myself. I end up crying for what feels like forever afterward. I can't seem to do anything. I can't even do the simplest stuff I'm so pathetic. I hate it so much.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SALAM4545 4/6/2014 3:39PM

    emoticon
I hate it too. I'd rather walk, play with kids (I'm a preschool aide so I chase the kids around the playground in a round of tickle monsters going to get you) even doing crunches is better!

Finding something else can be challenging, but variety is the spice of life. If you like doing videos, maybe you could try a belly dancing or zumba video. Don't go back to Pilates unless you feel like it will make you feel better, not worse.
emoticon

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MCJULIEO 3/30/2014 12:30AM

    C'mon, Vappy! You are better than you think!

Can you imagine Edison giving up after the first or second or tenth attempt at a light bulb filament? No!

Can you imagine Shakespeare getting Romeo's declaration right the first time, or the third? Or Hamlet's soliloquey??? Heck, No!

Do you think Mother Teresa was BORN loving everybody!!??? Welllll, that one MAYBE....

But those guys didn't give up! They kept on going !

Their successes were built on failure after failure, practicing and practicing...

You can do this... and if not, maybe there's some OTHER exercise that would give you PLEASURE.... there might be something you like BETTER! It doesn't have to be Pilates, after all! You just want to be MOVING, and HEALTHY, and SUCCESSFUL....

THAT, you most certainly CAN do! Hang in there! Your Aggie bud is rooting for you!

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