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DESIDERATA~GIRL's Recent Blog Entries

Wow, a 1,000 calories burning workout video!

Sunday, July 28, 2013

I was looking for new fitness videos on youtube and came across this new fitness channel and their first video was
, which was about how to burn 1 thousand calories! Mind you, the video lasts 1 hour and a half!

Would this be even healthy to do and would it be best to cut it into sections, like doing 30 mins now and 1 hour later? I might as well do several workouts in a day to burn the same amount of calories.

Even though I have not been active on my sparkpage or blogging, I've still been on SP, tracking my fitness and nutrition when I can. I've been on a massive health kick for about a few months now. I'm so near my goal weight! I'm trying to clean up my diet and get over my bad eating habits, such as snacking at night, eating too much in one meal and regretting it when my stomach complains, etc. Slowly but surely, I am getting better. I make many mistakes like eating more food 30 mins after having food, causing my stomach to be in pain from eating too much without realizing how full I actually was but am learning to try and not repeat the same mistakes.

I love my strength training! I feel stronger and fitter but was neglecting the cardio side of things, which I am now trying to readdress by adding more interval / circuit workouts into my regime and be more consistent with the jogging.

I've been eating, on the whole, very healthy and clean but I seem to eat far too much! I can eat all the best food (lean protein, fruit and veg, wholegrains, no sugar / junkfood at all, etc) but seem to struggle keeping within a decent calorie limit.

I have more free time now the school term has ended and I'm not teaching. If I could burn 1,000 calories a day like in the above video, I 'should' lose about 2 lbs a week! I think I'm about only 10lbs or less than my goal weight, which I haven't been at in years, but am very close!

I'm trying! I'm learning from past mistakes, working out what and how often eating suits me and how I work, so even though I have been losing weight for close on 5 years with SP now, I'm definitely still learning!

This is me in June, 2013 - I look so much healthier than I did at uni in 2007/2008, when I was obese and would feel self-conscious and bad about myself. Sure I do have issues to do with, and some hangups regarding food and my body, but when I stop and think of how nice it is to not be so out of breath just moving out in the day and how much I feel stronger, it really does hit me. I love being healthier! I enjoy getting fit! It's certainly a struggle sometimes and being consistent in healthy eating and getting the fitness in the day can be hard, but it's so worth it. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKMAN6797 8/3/2013 4:58PM

    You look great!
Living a healthy life has so many benefits!


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MYAKAYAH 7/29/2013 5:19PM

    That video looks fairly intense after the cardio warm up! A few adaptations here and there are needed though, if you have bad knees especially. Looks like they have a series of videos to try~ emoticon

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NUTRON3 7/29/2013 9:58AM

    Have a great day

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NANNABLACK 7/29/2013 7:19AM


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THE_SHAKESHAFT 7/29/2013 1:06AM

    Definitely not for the beginner!! :D

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FATHINSN 7/28/2013 11:53PM

    I watched the video and when I saw the description, Oh. My. God. 32-min HIIT! I think this is not a workout for a beginner but perhaps can modify according to our levels :D Such as making longer breaks, decrease the intensity. But if you think you're up to the challenge, you can just follow the video or even increase the intensity! Good luck!

I think I'm also healthier now compare during my university days, too :D

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EDDYMEESE 7/28/2013 9:38PM


Any advice on finding workout routines? I just joined a gym and feel like I need some structure. In particular, which actual weight training exercises to do. Usually I just wander around not sure what to do until I just end up going back to the treadmill!

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MJ7DM33 7/28/2013 8:24PM

  I'm gonna check out the video. Thx for sharing! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/28/2013 8:34:25 PM

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What I need to focus on! (Update on medical issues blog as well)

Friday, January 04, 2013

I need to get my priorities sorted - I need to calm mind, help it recover and eat nutritiously! Not starve or berate self for going over cal limit but eat to live! I need to help myself, not feel determined by my weightloss and weight. Sure, I've stopped weighing myself but my expectations on suddenly getting fitter and healthier are unrealistic. I live in the real world. I will go out to meet friends and sometime have a coffee or a healthy meal that ends up being more cals than I realised!

I had a very bad day (lots of minor things going wrong, then realised how little money I had over Xmas and worked myself up in such an anxious state then I ended up crying). I did realise that overcoming my depression is not easy and tried to stay calm and not freak out. That saved my in the afternoon but when speaking to my Mum this evening, I cracked.

What I should be proud of today:
- I am trying to get priorities straight. I need to do an important application and have been neglecting it so concentrated on it for the last few hours and made some headway.

- I did not eat as badly as I realised. Sure I went over my newly imposed 1700 cal limit but I ate good food. I said no to the chocolate cake that my friends offered to share with me. I made the best food choices I could while still trying to eat healthy.

- I decided yesterday that I would go jogging for the first time in months since it is part of my new plan to exercise in small amounts but more consistently. I said I would only have to do 5 minutes but ended up doing 15 minutes non-stop, which I am proud of.

I did not do the strength training session I planned and know I would have done if 2 of my friends were not visiting my city and who I had not seen in a year. I knew that getting out of the house and interacting with people would help me feel a bit happier and defeat my depression. I have a lot of plans I want to implement this year to sort out my mind and body by creating my own happiness project like that Gretchen lady advised in her book, tailoring it to me and my needs. I have so much hope in it but fail to realise that great intentions don't automatically means I've done it. It takes time and I need to remember this.

This sparkpage made me realise that I still have unrealistic expectations regarding my weight and it is something that I need to work on.

Update from my last blog - I wasn't pregnant and don't seem to have suffered from an early menopause which I had convinced myself I was experiencing at the age of 28!

My periods stopped for 3 months. I spoke to my doctor and realising I was quite depressed, I've been put on a SSRI antidepressant. After 2 weeks I had a marked improvement in mood and my period came back! My doctor thinks it was my stress that caused the periods to go away. I have heard that some individuals who eat so little or exercise so much that their periods go but I did not think that was my reason. Just in case, I stopped focusing on dieting as much and ate more (but still healthily mostly) and put exercise on the backburner a bit more, but neither really helped.

It was the antidepressant that truly helped. When my period came back, the doctor assumes it was the extra stress I have had and said 'don't underestimate the minds affect on the body'. It hard to not be stressed when you are very depressed and your periods disappear, making me stressed!

I have been on the antideps for weeks or so now and they definitely do help. It's not to say I have bad days where I end up very anxious or cry about something but I am a LOT better than how I was before. I had suicidal thoughts (even though I doubt I would act on them), had no enjoyment in life and was so unhappy, very tearful and incredibly anxious. I may be on them for 6 months but if it helps me live life without feeling so unhappy, then so be it. I want to sort my mind out and am thinking of many things I can do in my personal happiness project that can help me, like meditating every day, writing my thoughts in a journal and dealing with my issues. I'm positive but need to remember to not do too much since I often find I have very high expectation on myself to achieve things and this can be very damaging to myself. I want to go all guns blazing with the many things I am trying to but need to calm it down I think or I will be taking on too much and start suffering again. I'm doing this to help, so I don't why I make it so difficult sometimes and stressful!

I need to remember that


Update on my update 10 mins after! I decided that I was being silly. My focus should not be on losing weight but getting better. I am not going to deny myself a healthy snack like an apple and nuts or a bowl or muesli with soya milk if it simply goes over my calorie limit. I wanted a bowl of cereal and just decided to have. I normally measure everything to each miniscule part but did not bother. It's a bowl of mixed granola and muesli. It won't kill me. Freakly out, being obessed and mentally beat myself will though. I will eat healthily but to maintain my current healthy weight. Once I'm doing fine on 2000 calories and could lower to a bit less, than I will. But not now. Not when I am starting a new regime on trying to beat my depression. Not when I have 1 week left to do my educational psychology funded training application, which is very important and will set me in career-wise for the next 5 years with 3 years training and the required 2 years working that is done in the same area straight after. I need to ENJOY life and actually LIVE. I can only do some much and my sanity and health is the most impact. Not weighing 9 and half stone (133 lbs). I've stopped weighing myself because I don't want a number to define my worth but estimate I'm around 10 and half stone (147 lbs). It's a hell of a lot better than when I was obese and weighed 15 stone (210 lbs)!

My goals for my personal happiness project will be focusing on peace, love and joy. I want to find peace and calm my mind while increasing positive thoughts and getting rid of negative thinking; I want to care more by volunteering later on when I am ready and start loving myself more by treating myself with care and kindness; and I want to have more joy in life, do fun things and ultimately be happy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKMAN6797 1/7/2013 4:57PM

    I wish happiness... emoticon

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ODDLASS 1/5/2013 4:26AM

    HI. I love the name. And, when stressed, try verse or two.. works for me! emoticon
I also find reciting it as a form of meditation (or before meditation) works for me. and remember 'beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle on yourself'!

15st to 10.5 st? hey, don't I wish? I started at 210 and have gone up and down stuck at it then lost the 'mojo' for ages!! I am back on the way down again ... but still 14st. and I have never got as low as you, so be proud! (enjoy your achievements as well as your plans) emoticon

Depression is lousy and makes getting in shape a pain in the ... neck, So I am pleased the little pill are working for you, you are still in there!
and are finding support from the spark mob helpful. emoticon


PS I have just read your spark page ... you are at your original target (if your guess is right) you have done great!

Comment edited on: 1/5/2013 4:44:25 AM

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    You are taking steps in the right direction. I am glad that you have a doctor to help you. I think you are doing very well. Keep up the good work.

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    I'm happy to hear the medication is helping (my daughter recently started and it's done wonders for her too). And I agree that you need to take smaller steps to getting healthier... You're on the right track!!

PS - when you want to comment on someone's comment on your blog - you need to do so on their SP page or they won't see your message.

Have a fabulous weekend!

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MIRAGE727 1/4/2013 8:27PM

    Education plays a huge part on this journey. After two years I'm still learning! Stay strong, focused, and be well!

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    Thank you for your comments. I'm sorry for rambling on like that but had to write it down. I'm going just gonna try to take it one step at a time. The help and support I get from Sparkpeople and all you Sparkies is invaluable :)

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SLENDERELLA61 1/4/2013 6:52PM


Best wishes for health and happiness!

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LEXIE63 1/4/2013 6:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Keep on keeping on. We are here to listen and cheerlead where necessary, and offer tissues and a shoulder when appropriate.

Lex xxx

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Medical issues affecting my physical and emo health. What's going on?

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

How to start...

My period hasn't come in 8 weeks and yet I'm not pregnant. I'm 28, in a non-secure job and single so thankfully am not pregnant I guess. I've never had my period not coming before and it scares me. Once I realised my period was so late I even totally convinced myself that somehow I may be carrying despite not being in a relationship for several months (apparently some people who are pregnant can still have 'periods' and even end up in labour before they realised but obviously it's very RARE!). I was scared, freaking out but in a way part happy - who knew I wanted children?! I have had moments of broodiness in the last few years but have never seriously considered it! Two pregnancy tests and a dr's visit later, I know this to not be true.

I have gone from thinking I may be thinking that I may be having a baby sometime soon to worrying that I may not be having babies (conceived naturally) ever! What if my period never comes back? And why has it gone! I have read about people who get their menopause in the twenties! To think this may happen to me and with no warning is surreal. I went to the dr on Monday and she suggested it may be a thyroid issue and it could explain the other symptoms I've had of late. For the last several weeks I have felt stressed as normal but particularly feeling down. Having had depression several times before I was (and still am) worried that it may be returning. I have trouble getting to sleep and not waking in the night (sometimes from worry, others times due to hunger even when I have a late night snack like oats and casein protein, which is meant to release slowly to keep you fuller for longer. I know that if I am hungry, I just simply can't sleep! I will lie there with my eyes closed until I eat some food).

My eating habits have gone haywire. I was hungry all the time and often felt insatiable. Now I eat out of habit (5 / 6 smallish healthy meals a day by basically eating clean). And yet I can't sense when I am hungry, which is very unusual for me. When I do eat I don't get the usual satisfaction of eating food and being satied. I have found that sometimes this as led me to overeating but weirdly I never feel full in a way but will feel uncomfortable in my stomach as if I have eaten too much. It's weird because I don't feel that I am hungry but physically I only know it later on.

I'm tired all the time. I find it difficult to get thought the day of working as a teaching assistant with small children. I stopped exercising for a week or two but am trying now to do some activity as my dr suggested. Last weekend was my dad's birthday and unusually I was very emotional and cried every day. I worry about what do with my life, what career I should aim for and start working towards and feel stuck in life, and just ended up crying a lot to mum. I've had a few suicidal thoughts but doubt I will act on them.

I don't know if the possible physical medical issue of having an underactive thyroid is causing my depression or if they are separate. And what happens if the blood test comes back saying my thyroid levels are normal? I have no idea what could cause the last of period? It could range from stress to possible menopause or tumour.

I don't mean to moan about my issues but I need to mention is somewhere. I'm trying to relax and not worry too much but with my period not coming it's very hard! I feel like something is not right with me or functioning properly - my body and in my brain. I'll get the results of the blood test in a day or two and will see the dr next Monday. In some ways I hope they do find a problem with my thyroid so at least I can take a tab that may make me feel better and bring my period back and my mental state to normality even though the idea of taking a pill every day for my life would not be great.

I'm hoping I can

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEXIE63 11/29/2012 3:12AM

For what it's worth, I have occasionally skipped a period, and I also have endometriosis, which makes it hard to conceive, but I have two beautiful daughters, so whatever is going on may well have no effect on your ability to have children.
I hope the doctor can find you some answers really soon, and that whatever is going on is easily resolved. :-)
Lex xxx

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SEPPIESUSAN 11/23/2012 4:08PM

    I hope you get things figured out soon! I have a friend whose period stopped coming when she lost a lot of weight...apparently her body didn't like being thin! When she gained some weight back, her period came back.

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ROCKMAN6797 11/18/2012 10:05AM


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JULIAINLA 11/17/2012 2:34AM

    When you wake in the middle of the night or whenever you feel most upset, try to say comforting, positive affirmations. Hear yourself say =that everything IS alright and will be alright and that you are safe and well...and happy (even if you don't feel happy's good for your mind to hear). I hope you are feeling better soon. :)

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NYKIMMIE 11/15/2012 12:48PM

    things have a way of working itself out,you'll read this blog a month from now and giggle

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GINA180847 11/15/2012 9:09AM

    Good luck sorting this out!

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    I hope that you sort it out ... and speak to your doctor.

PS - just a word of advice with regards to your own reply to the posts of those who commented on your blog - they won't see it unless you post it to their SP page (unless they go back to read your blog).

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DESIDERATA~GIRL 11/14/2012 4:43PM

    Thank you ProudGrandma and Chum48 for your helpful replies - I really do help it resolves soon. I'm luck that my doctor seems like a nice lady who cares about what is going on and what may cause it. I don't want to take anti-depressants but if I need to, I will. I am realising how important my health is and am trying to look after myself but it's not easy when I sometimes feel I'm stuck between wanting to wallow in self-pity and alternatively doing all my best to get my life on track.

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PROUD-GRANDMA 11/14/2012 4:13PM

    I've got you in my prayers. My period was like that when I was younger and I ended up having 4 children. It could be brought on by stress. I hope you find out soon. There are doctors out there that can help with depression.

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CHUM48 11/14/2012 4:07PM

    wow! so much going on! get help, see your doctor, get him/her to give you the advise you need to make it through. Hang in there!

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Aaah, binging but trying to stop it!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I don't know why but I have been binging a lot in the last few days. I was going so well before! I ate a very clean diet, did my determined amount of cardio each day and did ST when planned but yesterday and today I've eaten like there is no tomorrow!!

It's weird but over the last few days I've been returning to this thought I've pondered over the last few years about selling my own baked goods. I've read articles about people making a bit of money selling their cakes and such at local markets at the weekend and since I love cooking, I've always wondered whether I could do the same. I love to cook but obviously want to eat healthily and have often found there to be a struggle between these two issues. I went to a country fête in Upton park near Poole (a town in south England) where I met this lovely lady who made these cakes from vegetables and that contained no fat. I forgot what it was but it wasn't like a carrot cake or something like that, but a cake with such a strange vegetable to include but tasted delish!! I now want to make cakes and treats that are nutritious if that is possible and which aren't like the sinfully chocolate stuff because I love to eat clean and do believe sugar is so bad for you. Anywho, my mind has been racing with how to start a business selling healthy baked treats, what I could make, where I could sell it, what I could call it, how I would design the packaging, etc, like a madman with an idea that has run away with me!!

Even though I love food like cake and fruit tea bread because of the calories I have been trying out various versions in cafés which I wish to emulate and been thinking about what I could create and all this focus on treats has made me eat like crazy!! My binging these last two days can't be all down to this but it's like I have had no control over my appetite! Even when I know I am full, when I've previously backtracked on promises to myself to not have another treat for the day and to stay super clean, I eat some more and then snack again!!

On Friday night I know I had eaten more than I had planned in the day but thought that rather than berate myself about it, just say I had eaten more than planned but I will eat superclean the next day and even planned my meals and prepared in advance. Unfortunately I have not stuck to it! I went to Bath today with family to meet relatives from South Africa that I have never met before and so it's been a crazy day. I did okay in beginning, ate a good breakfast of greek yogurt and fruit, and then oats with protein powder later but then kept on snacking on falafels on the way down, had 5 coffees in the day, had an alcoholic drink when decided I didn't want to have any in the restaurant and ended up having dessert which I never normally do! I even had sticky toffee pudding which I have tasted a bit before and really liked it. It was good but not that amazing and to be honest, I would have felt better and more proud of myself and felt better in the long term but NOT eating extra, not feeling bloated and bit angry that I did not keep to my plan. I plan to eat clean tomorrow, eat my oats and protein in the morning, no coffee in the day, no sugary / sweet snacks, and such but I am worried I can't guarantee it knowing how I did today! All I can say it that I ate too much, don't feel great about but not going to hate myself and make it worse. I plan to eat better tomorrow and want a super clean week next week while doing regular exercise but unsure know whether I can do it! Why is it after losing 65lbs I find it hard at the last 5lbs?! Surely it should be easier or I would have thought!

Sorry my thoughts are very random but this is how I have been feeling of late, like there is a million thoughts and ideas going around and around in my head and it's hard to keep track of them all and know what to focus on. I should be getting resources ready for my job where I work as a one-to-one person with an autistic child in a mainstream school; I really want to eat super clean and continue daily exercise; I want to work out my issues surrounding my low self-esteem and deal with past problems; and apply for a funded place on an educational psychology which I have to do by late January and so on, so many things I have to do and want to achieve but it's like where do I get the time?! I've tried cutting down to what is essential but I find many of these things I need to deal with now. I've noticed I have been very stressed of late and so have realised that I actually just need to stop sometimes and simply relax but that's not always easy for me to do. I never used to be like that. Even 2 years ago I could relax whenever and just take time out but now it's like 'I have to do this and do that...'. I'm the opposite of my brother who is very lazy and procrastinates. I know that if I want to get something done, I need to do it now and it can't wait or I'll forget or get sidetracked by something else.

I'm going to write down my plan for next week that I hope to stick to and will just take it one day at a time! I don't know what else I can do.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALEXSGIRL1 9/28/2012 9:45PM

    wow that supper healthy cake idea is mavelous I hope you persue it. your binging could have been hormones or stress or just sugar. I dont have it anymore and tonight I put honey( innocent right ) in my tea and I am thinking of making pumpkin brownies guess what more sugar and so it will continue until I stop It now.!!! You will get on track again soon and do beautifully

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SUSANBEAMON 9/24/2012 2:00AM

  you are aware of your binging, so just start over and don't worry about the past except to understand that you went off the rails then. that is past. you are on the right track now. and the last 5 pounds are sometimes vanity pounds. the only reason to loose them is you want to.

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SIRENSONGS 9/23/2012 9:40AM

    I think your creative business plan sounds awesome! I know I'd definitely buy some of your cakes if you lived near me, especially as I know they'll be super healthy! I wish you good luck in that endeavor!

Everybody binges occasionally, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Maybe your stress is contributing to your eating habits? I know stress can definitely trigger binges in me. Definitely give yourself some time to relax, even if you are super busy. You need time to revitalize yourself!

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SKINICOOK 9/22/2012 7:19PM

    Congrats on losing 65lbs and adopting a healthy lifestyle! The last few pounds are always the toughest but you'll get there. By the sounds of things you eat a very clean, healthy diet. You should be proud of your achievement. Selling your own baked goods sounds like a great idea. I hope you can go somewhere with that.

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SALONKITTY 9/22/2012 5:35PM

    I love that you've got this creative bug and are obsessing a bit and coming up with all these great ideas for starting a business. That's fantastic! Maybe when you go to the cafes to try cakes and such, you could take a friend or two along and share the cakes so you'd only really have a bite or two...perhaps that would be do-able for you. Sugar makes me crave more and will result in binges, so I have to really avoid it...but I think if you're going to start baking and working to emulate certain cakes, you sort of have to try them, right?

You definitely need some time to unwind. I think your idea of coming up with a plan and sticking to it sounds good.


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Why can't I stop eating! Why do I feel so guilty for trying to be healthy!

Friday, August 17, 2012

I don't know why but I've been eating loads these last few days!!! It's weird because I've only just hit my target weight of 140 lbs and have been trying to maintain my weight whilst thinking about losing some more but my eating habits have gone crazy! It doesn't help that I'm visiting relatives in Dorset and although it's lovely to be here and do fun active things like see various seaside towns, swimming in the sea and biking, I've been unable to control and dictate what I want to eat rather than be left to circumstances. I've been trying to do my best, said 'no' to various sugary / fatty foods like ice cream and chocolate, which is great. but on the flip side is that I am eating loads of typically healthy food but in big portions and more often.

Me and my Mum went biking around Portland today at the last minute and I didn't have much time to prepare food but made some healthy lunches for us (salad with some cheddar cheese, veggie bites that needed to be eaten, pears, apple, nuts and seeds, carrot, tea with soy milk in a flask), but when we came to stop and eat I was starving and ate more than my half. When I got home, stuffed my self with more healthy food and even though I was full, I needed a bowl of cereal! I'm following the clean eating diet and so normally eat 6 small meals a day with protein and complex carbs at each sitting but I've been insatiable these last few days.

Another thing that annoys me is that I've staying with my Mum and while I love being around her, she tends to make me feel bad for exercising and saying no to treats. If I say no, she feels bad for eating it and I end up feeling guilty! She's quite overweight but won't accept any help from me on losing weight. She will eat the same things as me and eat more nutritious food but also have extras like chocolate and fudge additionally. All I want is to just eat what I want, when I want and not feel guilty about it. I would love to just say I'm going to do some exercise now and not bad about it. Why does it have to be so contemplated!! I'm having laser eye surgery next week and been told to not exercise for 2 weeks so I need to keep my eating habits as clean as possible and within limit now so I don't gain extra weight later on.

I need to get some balance = I've been overthinking and worrying about how much I eat and what I'm eating. I'm trying my best but am struggling. I know that perfectionism is the quickest way to unhappiness but it's not easy to fully accept this when I expect so much from myself. I need to start meditating more, it should help me calm down I think!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROCKMAN6797 9/3/2012 8:26AM

    I have been struggling with the same issue of eating too much healthy food lately. It can be such a struggle at times but I try to take some solace that at the very least I am not eating crappy foods. I attribute this behavior to some recent stressful situations. While eating is not the way to deal with stress I am proud that I have not sunken back to eating unhealthy foods. It is, and will continue to be, a lifelong struggle.


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JONESINGAL 8/21/2012 8:54AM

    Sorry to hear your family is giving you grief over eating healthy. It makes the healthy journey so much harder when you have people around you that don't understand.

As for eating more than you should. I do the exact same thing! I make dishes that are clean, but then over indulge and end up eating too much. It is infuriating!

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    It's too bad that you mum makes you feel like that - but good for you for staying on track. I was just talking about this with a friend who said her cousin gets very competitive with her when it comes to weight issues ... and perhaps your mom feels like she's losing you through your 'healthy ways' but just keep at what you're doing. Don't allow guilt in...

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HAKAPES 8/19/2012 1:03PM

    Huh, I could have said the same words...

I also like to eat a lot, volume matters. Of course, over time the amount I eat has gone down, but still, I enjoy eating, and usually a small volume is difficult to go with.

As for people, if family doesn't support, it's a difficult one. I've noticed that because they love me and are close, they often package THEIR ideas into love, and expect me to behave the way they think is good for me. Which is not good for me, despite how much they love me.

What worked for me with close family was a sit down talk. I told them that eating the way I eat now, and exercise are very important to me. And I would like them to support me to do this. I explained them that when they tell me to eat more, and make jokes about exercise, it makes it very difficult for me to stay with my goals. So I would like them rather encourage me to eat less, and do exercise.
Also, I asked them to look for books, restaurants, new foods, new exercises that could support me.

For some, it worked, and they are supporting me. They even buy a bag of salad when I visit them.
Other still keep on holding me back. For them, I use other strategies to support myself. It's more difficult, because they are working against me, but still my life is my life.

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A-STRONGER-ME 8/18/2012 9:11AM

    No one should make you feel guilty for making wise choices and ONLY YOU can control how you think about that.

Never confuse "need" with "want." (i.e. need a bowl of cereal)

We all go through ebbs and tides with eating. If you are continuing to maintain your weight - you are obviously fueling properly for what your body needs.

I think you may just be obsessing about your loss of control on this visit. Probably not nearly as bad as you think. Are you tracking - they key may lie in accurate tracking.

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FITMOMMY18 8/18/2012 8:57AM

    Sometimes when we get to a goal we can let our guard down. And as for me, when I'm not in my usual surroundings, I can't keep it together... .but I have to learn to! Keep going, you are so close!!

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SHEILA1505 8/18/2012 5:49AM

    Well said Oolala53
Maybe the sea air and the biking have given you an appetite? Stay with the clean eating and enjoy the change of scenery.
You cannot control your mother's behaviour, habits and feelings - you can control your own. Good luck! Wishing you strength.

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KKLENNERT809 8/17/2012 10:47PM

    Tomorrow's a new day--start fresh! Don't beat yourself up when now it's in the past. Make your goal to live a healthy, active weekend.

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SUGARSMOM2 8/17/2012 8:02PM

  emoticon emoticon

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OOLALA53 8/17/2012 7:12PM

    It's not weird that you're eating more. It's actually typical at your stage, but it is manageable. However, being with your mum and in different environments while you try to practice better eating is new, so it will take new efforts.

Why do you think you are allowing yourself to have larger amounts? Do you secretly think you are missing out? Have you actually not been getting enough to eat? You know, it's unlikely you will be able to eat much more than you have been if you want to maintain forever. Is this some rebellion against that notion? You'll have to examine if it's worth it without giving up and regaining everything.

You also have to try to get over the guilt with your mum. She cannot actually make you feel guilty. You can let her know that you love her and feel connected to her without the extra eating and that you don't want to curtail her pleasure. If she feels bad because she's eating when you aren't, you have to let her have her feelings. She could just as easily decide that she wants to enjoy the food whether you want any or not. She has a right to eat if she wants and you have a right to refrain. You don't even HAVE to approve of each other and you can still love each other.

After strict dieting, when you trip the wire of more food or stressful situatiosn, it can be a signal to eat more. But you don't have to do what the urges say. Divert yourself and ignore them as well as you can. They will recede if you keep doing that. And it won't harm you at all.

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