DIANEDOESSMILES   45,690
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DIANEDOESSMILES's Recent Blog Entries

Have lost 70 plus lbs. What I've learned

Friday, October 24, 2014

I've been on Sparks now for 3 years. In this time I've gone from 288 to my successful weigh in today of 212.4!! Not bad I say. It's been quite the journey!!! I've been up and down the 200s quite a bit, and once down as far as 174.

I got very scared of the success at 174, I hadn't prepared for others freaked out when they started to to b looking at me and making specific remarks about myself and 2 of them commenting on parts of me. As a rape victim it made me hurt inside and very uncomfortable. I weighed 115 when that happened in 92. I was in my 30s. I have been working on this so it doesn't stump me again. TY. Maryanngi for your loving patience as I talk to you about this as I also do with professional help also.

What else have I learned from those who have put their weigh in on their signature, I've also have done a monthly one. It's very encouraging and keeping me accountable to myself and the Dawggie team I'm the. CL of.

Hope this helps others. Keep. Sparking!!! Keep aiming for those dreams.

TY for reading

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIRIDDELL 10/25/2014 1:09AM

    Awesome Diane what amazing progress

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DEE107 10/25/2014 12:10AM

    woo hoo way to go

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DBEAU57 10/24/2014 8:46PM

    You go, girl! You were born to be awesome and you have already hit it! Don't be afraid of losing weight. You were not attacked because of being thin - it was all about that person needing power and finding it in the wrong way!

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JUJUH51 10/24/2014 1:15PM

    Diane, you are doing awesome!! You are truly an inspiration on every level and thank you again for being a great leader!!!

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NEW-CAZ 10/24/2014 11:39AM

    emoticon emoticon keep up the good work Diane!

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EDENZMOM 10/24/2014 10:20AM

    you've come so far! and you're doing awesome!!
you're a great leader, and show others how to do it well :)
thank you!!

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IOWAGRAMMA 10/24/2014 10:03AM

    No...not bad!! Not bad at all!! In fact, very, very good! Keep up the great work, Diane!!! emoticon

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It saddens me,,, my BFF is dying from overeating

Monday, October 20, 2014

One of my dearest friends since childhood,,, has been very depressed most of her life. She "says" now "I am not" I tend to disagree. She sees one emotion at a time,,,, whereas most of us swing from one to another. We 've been friends since we were in the 7th grade,,,, I was 12,,, she was 11. She was over weight then,,,, I was drop dead skinny. we both ate tas much, but it piled pped on her,, not me.

Well until I was in early 40s or was it my late 30s? I've forgotten tonight , i am tired. She was SO HAPPY I was gaining !! She actually said "NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL" !!! someone we barely knew,,,said at that point to me "HI K,,,," I responded with "No, I am Diane" "Oh well you both look exactly alike". That and one of my Dr's showing me Mr Bones,, how my fat was affecting my back,,, both of those around the same time,,,, discusted me,, I KNEW I was big 288,,,, over twice of my normal weight,, and soon if I hadn't of taken action it would of been 3 x's ! But I DID take action. my BFF K,, (For I really have 4 BFFs,, including MaryAnnGi,,,, on this site,,, who we've met in person,,, and will of course again,,, we live state by state) did NOT take action.

K,,, has a D,,,,, when she was very small,,,, I had wanted by then,,, I was almost old enough too,, a GD !! Of course that was not possible,,,, so I talked to her D,,, and we were very close,,, we agreed,, K approved,, I could Adopt S as my GD ! YES was the answer from both,, esp happy was my GD !!! So since then,, though she was small,,, she began to spend as much time as possible at my place,,,,, as a tween she pretty much moved in. Stayed this way all the way up and thru. She's now though Married on her own.

When my GD was 11,, I had K over,,, I was talking to her,, about her denial to her being depressed,, which would continue for yrs (both denial and depr),,, I asked her "Do you want to die?" "Yes" "Will you do urself ,, do you have a plan" (Scared me horribly to ask that !) "I do not have plan" "Are you safe" "yes, I just do not care if I die, I want too". "You do realize you have S,,, to raise" "ur doing that" "but I AM NOT HER MOM !! I am her GRANDMOTHER,,, a Child NEEDs their MOM and not just from when they are young, but ALL thru life" ! "She has you, that's enough".

Yrs later,,,, I told her to please pick me up (by that time,,, i was on narcs for pain,, my lience was no longer any good),,, she came over "Where we going"? "I will just give you the directions, you do not know that part of that city well" So it was take a right,, aother right,, take a left,, go straight for 3 blocks,, etc,,, finally it we were pulliing into a parking lot. She asked "Where are we"? "We are at UR Therapy appoinment" "WHAT?? NO " !!!! " If you do NOT go in,, they will charge you for it was not cancelled 24 hrs in advance,, and you will have to pay cash" (LOL I know her well unless its HER IDEA,,,, NO $$$ was gonna VOLUNTARLY leave her FINGERS !LOL So in we went. She was NOT willing at first to answer ?s,,, I let the intake worker know,,, it was MY idea to drag her in,, that she was NOT happy with this, but I was scared for her. She was getting larger and larger,, and soo down. The writing was on the wall.

She did than towards the end start to answer a few ?s,,,, the intake worker was GREAT !! JUST PERFECT for being an intake worker. Looked at K,,, said "you are severely depressed,, and you would benefit from coming here,,, life can again look good". So K,,, agreed to go back.

That was 3 yrs ago. K did for a little come out of the depression,, It was GREAT,, but she did NOT change any habits. Come to find out,, she was controlling what was said,, not said,,,, she out right would "not tell the truth" about what was happening. She is also very dirty,,,, and a hoarder to the MAX !! I am scared also,, that this coming week her place will NOT pass inspection from her manager. She has filled my GD's room,, 21X 16 Ft,, with ALL Boxes floor to ceiling,, the closet which is also 16 Feet,,, is not able to be opened. I KNOW She has MICE in there,,, she "found" a bunch of babies this past summer,,, that does NOT AT ALL help her breathing,, dried feces from any animal is NOT healthy. I looked it up,, toxic. I told her,, what was her answer?? This week she went out and bought an air filer,, isntead of cleaning. The depression is back,,, she's very scared also,, cos now she says she has a hernia,,,, we ALL know a good cause of that is,, BELLY FAT,,, up into her lungs,, heart being pressed,, from the hernia,,,,, she says,,, and so she's now struggling to breathe.

A small walk from the drivers side to the rear passengar side,, putting in my knee walker (light,, I can lift with one hand),, into the car,,, to than walk back to the drivers side,, we have to now sit there for a few mins,, she's outta breathe ! A small walk into a Dr's office,, where all she's doing is walking,,,,,,, less than 20 feet,,,, she's also breatheing hard.

I know my BFF is simply dying now,, and it's from over eating. she's now around 300 to 325,,,, her BP is UP and UP ! Etc. I am saddened,, I talked to her today,,, she has no hope,,, she does not care.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1BEARWIFE 10/21/2014 1:18PM

    Hi Diane, I have watched people deliberately destroy their bodies with no intention of changing. I have truly loved some of these people,and I feel your pain. I finally sought therapy for myself because i was so very saddened by watching these people die on the installment plan. I had started to eat like THEY did, and doing nothing that remotely looked like exercise!

The therapy was wonderful for ME. I dumped all my fears and tears, and all my anger to these people. I learned to say "Grant me the SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE(THEM), THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN (me!) AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE".

I was able to let go of those people, join Spark, and have never regretted it for a moment!

Be KIND to YOU, my dear friend! You are WORTH IT!!!! emoticon

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JUJUH51 10/21/2014 10:10AM

    Oh Diane, how sad! You are truly an awesome friend. I could just cry! Sending hugs and prayers to both of you. I believe in miracles! May God bless her and keep her safe.

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DEE107 10/21/2014 12:22AM

    hugs

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DBEAU57 10/20/2014 12:12PM

    You are a true friend, Diane. Only a true friend will stick beside someone through their worst times. I hope and pray that she comes to realize all the life she will miss if she continues down her road of self-destruction. You know from experience that even when life is its bleakest, there can be a ray of hope. My thoughts are with you.

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EDENZMOM 10/20/2014 11:47AM

    Hey Diane, you're a great friend. Sometimes, as we all know too well, it takes hitting rock bottom for people to start entertaining the thought of change. I hope it does not come to that. I am thinking of you and your friend, sending giant hugs. xo

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IOWAGRAMMA 10/20/2014 9:33AM

    I am so sorry for both of you. It's hard to be the friend and want to help but have no way of reaching the other person. We know you can't help someone who isn't willing to be helped, so it makes it so so hard. Sending you prayers and hugs. emoticon

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D_4RECOVERY 10/20/2014 7:24AM

    Praying for your friend.

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TWEETYKC00 10/20/2014 6:48AM

    I hope she can find a way to get better and help herself as you did. She has to want to do this or it just won't work for her.

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RASPBERRY56 10/20/2014 6:37AM

    I hope that K does get the help she so desperately needs.........you are a wonderful friend to have supported her for as long as you have......

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BMCOLLEY 10/20/2014 5:22AM

    K needs to be hospitalized so that she can really make an informed decision. The depression and other mental problems make it easier to die than live and get her life together. Unless you can talk her into going to a hospital, there is not a lot you can do except to continue to love her. emoticon

Bettie

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 10/20/2014 3:53AM

    Sending prayers and positive thoughts. emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 10/20/2014 3:20AM

    Diane sounds like you're a good friend to her and have tried your best, this is so sad,
I friend of mine back in London also has a friend who refuses to see the light.

Love and prayers- emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 10/20/2014 12:24AM

    Oh how sad Diane.Any chance she will change her ways?

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DEE107 10/20/2014 12:24AM

    oh my Diane I know I can say a prayer for her but she does need help hugs

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THis is such a HARD challenge for me !

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I am a SUD (Spirited Undah Dawg) with the 5% challenge. I am also the CL (Challenge Leadah) and as such I always do my best to be a good example.

This week though, we have 2 LTGL (Living The Good Life )part of the challenge,, and its a 2 parter neither of which I'll do well on. One is the NEE (No Evening Eating), and also how many hrs did you sleep? We can count a maximum of hrs we can count is 9 hrs of sleep. And where do I average?? SIGH ! In general about 4 to 6 !! Generally the 4 !!! I function rather well,, cos I also take naps,,,, not always by choice, around 1PM, or 3PM into 4PM (OH NO !! Judge Judy is on,,, and LOL I LOVE that show ! LOL She's soooo funny and straightforward !),, and than again at 7PMish. Than I am up til my usual time of 2AM. This week though I am working on going to bed at 1AM instead. On Fri,, I had gone to bed at 2,, I KNEW it'd be ROUGH to NOT eat at all til 9AM,,,, well I woke up at 4 and was hungry,, forced myself to go back to sleep,,,,,,woke up at 6,, nauseous,,,dizzy, there was NO WAY I was going to make it to 9,, I ate,,,, we will try again on Mon. SIGH !! Why do they NOT consider us with blood tests? I can go in at 7AM,,, which is the earliest they are opened. So you can tell with the NEE (no Eveming Eating) I am also NOT able to make this challenge,, thanks to y TERRIFIC MOJO our team I think?? Judged on what I saw when I went to turn in a report today,, we may of been either #1 on the Landing,, and also the NEE as well as this past weeks, eat 3 meals a day,, which I WAS able to ALL WEEK LONG ! WOOHOOOO !! I even COOKED a REAL MEAL ,, and made enough for the WEEK to eat it !! WOOHOOO !! Sometimes cooking for 1 is GREAT !! When the kids were here,,, and I cooked,, ZzOOM it was GONE before it HIT the TABLE ! LOL So this is kinda nice,,, since I DO NOT Enjoy cooking,, I DO LOVE the smell,,, but hey ! Thats about IT !

I have hypoglycemia and in general NEED to eat every 3 to 4 hrs,, this ALSo plays into my sleep role. If I had been asleep I will feel the urge to wake up,,, pee, and eat. If at times,,, I DO NOT Eat,,,, I'll get dizzy, neasous ,, and can also get a fast not so nice headache. So yeah,,, I d rathr NOT go thr any of this !!! I had a blood test on Fri at 9AM,,,, I ate a lot of protein (Each night b4 sleeping I have a greek yogurt,, and also another protein,, getting in from 17 to 21 grams of it !) still the"HUNGER BEAST" does NOT understand my need to wish to sleep. I'll wake up at either 4 or 6AK,,, I Do though eat,, and DO TRY often successfooy sleep from then to 8AM. I seem to always wake up with the sun,,, which is 8 now,,, I was waking up at 5 or the earliest time,, 4:45 aM,,, with the sun,, though my shades which are the dark ones,,,,, are totally down,, and my room is vrey dark. So that's NOT it. My bed is hugely comfy !!!

Hmmm I am apologizing my team mates,,,,, I'll do my BEST for with MORAH Sleep also comes better WEIGHT LOSS,, and I coud USE THAT !! if I try to go to bed before 1AM,,,, All I do is lay there. Still i'll do what I CAN !!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IOWAGRAMMA 10/19/2014 8:44AM

    Diane, you're doing great...that's why it is a CHALLENGE! If it was easy, it wouldn't be challenging. Just goes to show we all have lots of things to work on and make work for us! Sleep is one thing I can't change, though...if I nap during the day, I definitely will not sleep well at night. That's just me. Everyone has something different. Hope you do have a good week. Love your little underdog background!! Hugs, Jeannie

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NEW-CAZ 10/19/2014 3:15AM

    emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/19/2014 3:15:26 AM

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DEE107 10/19/2014 12:16AM

    hang in my friend hows the foot

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LOSE4LIFE47 10/18/2014 11:35PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KALISWALKER 10/18/2014 11:31PM

    emoticon Diane I know what it is like to toss and turn. I listen to audio book to fall and sleep and I wake up during the night and listen to more. I am not sure what would help you have better sleep but I am sure you are working on it. All the best to you.

emoticon

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Going slow, but progress

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Today's weight in day for the Spirit under Dawgs team. I had gone up the first week 6.2 lbs cos I had fallen and of course was (still am some) swollen. Especially on my left side where I hit the floor. I'm working on this.

2nd week I am soooo grateful I lost those 6.2 lbs. I had my feet above my heart, which I need to do again. Lol Izzy doesn't like this, for she is much of a lap cat. Any time I sit cross legged,, she runs right over. Soooo cute , but hard to do with feet up. Poor. Gizmatt she'll just have to enjoy another spot,, she's a cat,every place she loves,, she'll get over it, or can pack her kitty bag. Lol I do so love this bag of fur.

Today is week 3 of th he challenge. It's a lose 5% of Ur weight in 8 weeks. I have succeeded in the past though not every time. Today I came in minus another lb. So yes I'm pleased.

I have joined it Sparklers who put their monthly weigh in on the bottom of their page. This is both scary and exciting. It's holding me more accountable.

TY soooo much for reading my blog.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IRON_RESOLVE 10/18/2014 7:24AM

    Way to go Diane, keep following Dr's orders, and keep on healing. You really are a wonder, and yet your have our backs, and put so much of your time into our team. We love you.

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HELEN_BRU 10/14/2014 9:45PM

    I admire you for all your hard work and keeping yourself accountable under trying circumstances. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EDENZMOM 10/13/2014 1:02AM

    Proud of you Diane! I've been gaining... but I'm due for... you know, the bloated days.. and I've also spontaniously taken up running.... so muscle plus bloated... yeah...
you're doing great!! Keep it up!

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IOWAGRAMMA 10/12/2014 8:25PM

    Great news, Diane. I had a horrible week last week, but feel stronger and more focused now. I'm looking forward to having a good week ahead. When do you see the docs again about your foot? I imagine they are going very slowly to make sure things are healing. My ankle is about the same...maybe a tiny bit better. I had to get a shot in my eye for the bleeding caused by an old infection. I have 2 more shots and then they evaluate to see if I need more. It could be worse, so I'm grateful it isn't. Happy there is something they can try to do for it. Thinking of you and hoping you have a great week!! Hugs, Jeannie

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NEW-CAZ 10/12/2014 3:26AM

    emoticon Diane you are an inspiration emoticon

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DEE107 10/12/2014 12:03AM

    way to go on losing a pound and with the foot tooo hugs my friend

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CHERIRIDDELL 10/11/2014 10:25PM

    You are an inspiration Diane in spite of all you must endure you are positive and you look out for others .We love you and you are our most exalted leader because of your indomitable spirit ! emoticon

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FORZACHANDMATT 10/11/2014 8:50PM

    WTG

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STEVEN2GO2 10/11/2014 8:48PM

    That is good news you are improving and doing what you know helps you heal quicker!
Izzy will return when you improve and forgive you! emoticon on the positive emoticon progress during your recovery! Good luck on the challenge, I hope at the end you can post emoticon !

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KBEAR9963 10/11/2014 10:35AM

    Slow and steady is the way to go. I hope you heal soon. Good luck with your progress! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I had no intentions of doing it

Monday, October 06, 2014

Sometimes life just surprises us !

Yesterday,,, which was soooo gorgeous outside,, and again today,, how can my spirits,, my well being not soar with the eagles? Well it feels this way.

I used to be soooo very depressed,, for 20 yrs. So to say this now,, is such a gift,,, i am sooo grateful to God for this,,, and also to my sweetest GD, who's now all grown, but I had such an influence on her,,, and she's a Lovely Young Lady,,, reflecting on these,, the amount of loving family (Even though there are some, I choose to not to o,, they are not good for me) and a great amount of friends,, including 4BFF's,,, I can't choose one above the other,, they are sooo special in so many ways. Thanks MaryAnn (GI) for being one I so treasure. She's a Leader on the Spirited Undah Dawg team,, as am I. There are 4 other Leaders,, each so very close to my heart and mind.

Today we wanted "to Land the Plane" its a virtual plane,,, which moves from country to country based on the amount of exercise we do. 2 Mins of Exercise,, moves it 2 miles,, 10 mins 10 miles,, 20 /20 miles etc.

We have what we call "Super Dawg of the Week" which is a Dawggie, ,, who has done 120 mins a day of exercise,,,,, for 5 out of 7 days a week.

I had NO ,, NOT ONE intention of being in this category !! I am working with a broken foot,,, which had been recoverying from surg,,, I broke it only 2 weeks and 1 day ago. It surah can get to hurting. I am doing my dangest to NOT take the oxy for it,,,,, since the Dr is now suspecting I am in the starting stage of either kidney or liver damage. The solution,,, will prob come off the oxy (a break thru med) and also morphine,, which I've been on for yrs. So we will see,,,, i am willing to,, for it'll mean,, i can DRIVE again,,, and I will soon have the $$$ for a fairly decent 2nd hand car ! Or "Cah" as we pronounce it in Maine. LOL

On Sat,,, I did my usual time,, of 70 mins,, well thats the top of the time,,, for exer I've been doing,,, since the surg,, it's generally been 30 to 50 with at times,, 70 mins.

In order though yesterday to help the plane land,,, I did in SMALL amounts at a time,,, took me 4 diff times,, to achieve this,,, 120 mins ! Than again today,,,, I've ALSO done the 120 mins !

So now I am sitting here,,,, I CAN FEEL the MOJO ! Now I WANT that "Weekly SUper Dawg" for week 3 of this challenge !! I WANT IT BADLY !!

So now for my MOJO to stay up. guess when ur this happy,, and life is this good,,,, one needs a healthy,, achievable goal,, dream to reach.

This is mine,, WOW ! I did NOT think I'd do the 120 til I was back on my feet..... and able to swim again (I usually swim 60 to 80 mins,, than I do yoga,, or heavy house work,,,,, and my place is stil nice, but I want it SUPER NICE,,,, once I am healed,,, so yeah,,, i did NOT think I'd do the 120.

I am soo happy !

TY for reading ! I FEEL GREAT !

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IRON_RESOLVE 10/18/2014 7:34AM

    That was so great you were outside enjoying the fall air. What a cool thing you were able to manage 120. But for three weeks straight, that's really fantastic. Way to GO Super DAWG!! Very proud of you!!

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MSGRANNYMAE 10/10/2014 5:34PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MARYANNSQUEST 10/7/2014 5:26PM

    Diane, emoticon
It is so wonderful to see you so happy! I personally see your smile emoticon and your strength everyday, and I know you are the best BFF ever.
emoticon

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CFODEL 10/7/2014 10:01AM

    Well done!!

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EDENZMOM 10/7/2014 9:04AM

    there is something special in the air! :)

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CHERIRIDDELL 10/7/2014 12:37AM

    So glad to hear you are feeling good !

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DEE107 10/7/2014 12:29AM

    so glad you are happy and the sun is out and wish you didnt break your foot hang in my friend

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MT-MOONCHASER 10/6/2014 10:13PM

    emoticon

Sometimes we surprise ourselves with what we do!!

emoticon

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 10/6/2014 9:31PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROBBIEY 10/6/2014 9:28PM

  emoticon emoticon

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