Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Okay some major setbacks.
Binged on chocolate for two days in a row, and didn't log yesterday at all really. I think the major problem happened on Saturday. I woke up early and ate a normal breakfast, but then I had to run around to de-rig at a venue that I had performed at the night before, which was really stressful because the train wasn't running and I had to take a couple of other trains and a cab and walk a bunch. Then I went straight to a hair appt, which took a really long time (I dyed my hair red) and it didn't turn out like I had envisioned (it's fine, I like it now) but the combination of no-sleep, plus not eating for a long time, plus spending a bunch of money on something I was not sure about made me really sad and stressed. So when my husband picked me up and we went to dinner I made bad food choices, and then I insisted we get chocolate afterward and I ate a bunch of it.
Then on Sunday, we woke up early and we went to this brunch spot that is vegan so all of the choices for breakfast are kind of unhealthy (processed fake meats, lots of weird oils and salts) so I had a belgian waffle which I'm sure was loaded with junk. Then for lunch we cooked and we made potstickers and I waited too long to eat again (because I was feeling guilty from breakfast) and my husband and I were both hungry and snappy and when he tried to finish the dumplings in the pan they got ruined and became a weird scramble, so I ate a bunch of them. Then I ate a bunch of chocolate too because I was feeling like I had already eaten a bunch of crap. Then I went to train with my partner and I was feeling really weird and depressed and hungry so of course I ate more crap when I got home.
Then yesterday, I started off okay, but it was my day off, and I told my friend I would perform at this show in the evening. But I trained earlier in the day, waited to long to eat again! and then ate a huge omelet. Then I was stressed about some stuff that went down with my friends (it turned out fine) and then my other friend who was producing the show ordered a bunch of fries and artichoke dip and I was famished so I ate all of that crap. It was so bad that I couldn't even log it I felt so guilty.
So far today is going much better. I ate lunch at the right time, and it was all healthy stuff. I'm now going to drink some water, I'm going to log all of my stuff too! And maybe hardboil some eggs for snacks.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Fridays are my day, and I am 117.4!
Last Friday I was 120.0! That's down almost 2 pounds for this last week of eating right. And it hasn't been perfect but I haven't given up so that's great!
Things I've accomplished -
Not drinking alcohol at all!
Drinking water everyday!
Staying under 2100 calories everyday (and the majority of the days in my range of 1200-1700).
I really think that not drinking alcohol has been they key to my success. And it's not like I haven't been tempted because I most certainly have. My husband and I made dinner two nights this week and he was drinking wine both nights and I did not! It was also my very good friends birthday on Monday out at a bar and all of my friends were there and they were all drinking, but I didn't yay!
I've also made a concerted effort to train everyday. I can't really log the calories from what I do because it's so different that I haven't found a calculator that I feel gives me the equivalent caloric burn, especially since I train so regularly. The only times I log calories is when I take classes that are above and outside of my regular training and instructing. So this week I did BodyART on Tuesday which is a really aggressive class that's aerobics/dance/yoga craziness that makes me sweat so hard that I feel like I'm going to die. I also did AcroFloor yesterday which is a capoeira-inspired acrobatics class that was also incredibly hard! But so fun!! My plan is to try to do it twice a week. I really want to get a handstand! So I logged those. I estimated that I burned about 500 for BodyART and 350 for AcroFloor.
Sooo optimistic about the future!
Monday, February 24, 2014
Yesterday I waited too long to eat. My friend got us free tickets to see Kanye West (which, by the way, was amazing, he totally met all my expectations and his rant was epic! At one point he was simply listing nouns. He also talked about his therapy sessions where he is coached on talking like a normal person and not a meglomanic. He also referenced his friendship with Oprah. And he had a throne made out of hot white girls dressed like 1980s performance artists with pantyhose on their heads. Aaaaand an actor dressed like Jesus came out and blessed him! Omg I can't, so many things, my braaaain!!!) but we had to go to the show directly from a wall running workshop I took, so I ate some trail mix and a banana instead of dinner. By the time I got home I was starving. Normally if I had done that I would have eaten everything in sight, but B had cooked earlier and instead I just had a little bit of the Shrimp etuffee he made.
But here's the big one, I am a dessert addict, and I tend to crave candy at night. So I made B stop at the deli on the way home so I could get some dark chocolate. I got a Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate Hazelnut bar. Usually, the combo of being hungry and it being late at night would have caused me to eat the whole thing in one go, but I DID NOT! I ate three squares (105 calories) and then I stopped. WIN!
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Setback already?? YUP!
I went out to a restaurant with a friend to catch up and chat, it was really lovely because we hadn't seen each other in a while - we talked about all the normal stuff: how weddings are so strange, absentee fathers, civil war enthusiasts, poles (various types), etc. It was really great!
BUT - I tried to choose a healthy item from the menu, it was a noodle place and I knew I didn't want a mess of noodles, so I got marinated grilled salmon, with pickled diakon and curry rice, sounds healthy no? NO! NOT HEALTHY! Fish was greasy, curry rice was also greasy, diakon pickles tasted really sugary and the whole thing was totally salty. I ate most of the fish and maybe a 1/2 cup of the rice, so it wouldn't have been so bad if I had stopped eating, because after dinner I was still within my calories for the day.
But of course I did not stop eating! Because I felt like I had already busted and I felt out of control. I felt like I still needed to eat so that I wouldn't get tired and fall off the hoop because I'm performing later, but because i still felt like I needed to eat but I had already eaten unhealthily I just had 200 calories worth of chocolate and a bunch of microwave popcorn that my Husband was eating. FRACK!
I'm done eating for the day now and I will get back on track tomorrow, but I needed to get this out, because my behaviors were interesting. I failed (even though I didn't mean to) and so I decided to fail some more. Not cool.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Oh my gosh, why did I stop drinking water? What the eff was I thinking?
So I'm back on sp. Again. This time I'm going to use it less for the social aspects and more for the tracker, I'm using the nutritional tracker on my phone.
Why am I back? Because I was on the cover of Metro two days ago, it's a new york daily mag, and I looked SO HUGE!!!!
Gah! So I'm back. We'll see for how long.
I just want to lose weight so that I can be the performer I know I can be before I have a baby with my husband.
I just committed to do this show in October so that is my deadline. I want to have a baby before I'm 33 for sure, I just turned 31 on the 5th.
I'm just going to focus on drinking water, and staying below 1600 calories, and not drinking alcohol. NO alcohol at all!!!! Alcohol is what derails me, every time. EVERY TIME! No more. It's over. I'm not going to let my husband pressure me into drinking unless it's a very special occasion.
So these are all of my plans. Fingers crossed.
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