Sunday, December 08, 2013
I am feeling sooooo bummed out for some reason! I don't know why. It could be because I literally got out of bed once since Friday morning. I was sick with some sort of bug and it totally wiped me out. I know I needed the rest, but it certainly didn't do anything to help my mood (or my weight loss!) I didn't eat a lot since I was sick, so maybe that will work in my favor. The scale is safely tucked away in my closet, not to be used until Friday morning :)
I was able to drag myself out of bed long enough to roast some brussels sprouts and make some brown rice to have for lunch this week. For some reason, I LOVE brussels sprouts! I just roast them with a little EVOO, sea salt and fresh ground black pepper.
Let's see, what else can I vent about? Well, I'm doing fairly well with my goals regarding my love life. I'm seeing someone that I'm really starting to care about, but I'm not allowing myself to get to wrapped up in it. I don't know exactly where is head is when it comes to us. He clearly likes spending time with me and is really sweet and thoughtful, but I've seen it before. I guess all I can do is wait, be open to the possibilities and keep my eyes open.
I'm really going to try to get back into my workouts this week after having so many days off. I always feel amazing after a workout, but have been feeling incredibly lazy since winter has officially kicked off here in CNY. I say it every year, but I'm really considering moving away at some point to get out of this cold/snow.
I guess I should wrap up some of my chores for the evening before I head back to bed. I'm surpised I don't have bed sores!
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
I am trying so hard right now not to eat! I actually could probably have a little snack and be totally within my allotted calories, but the truth is I am NOT hungry. I'm just killing time before I can crawl into bed and watch tv...far, far away from the kitchen!
So, I got my Fitbit One in the mail yesterday and used it for the first time today. Can I say that I LOVE that little guy?!?! It's actually really accurate (I figured it would be...I did my research on Consumer Reports) and it gives great motivation. I walk about 3 miles/day just wandering around at work. I'm going to try to walk a little more everyday at work because every little bit helps! I can't wait to clip it back on tomorrow.
I was able to stay completely on track again today, which feels amazing! Oh, and a miracle occurred...I did NOT step on the scale today! When I fall off the wagon and then hoist myself back on for a day or two, I always get on the scale expecting to see some huge loss...and when I don't, I feel let down. So, I'm sticking to my goal from my last blog...I will only weigh once/week and I am not set to weigh myself until Friday morning. Yay me!
Hmmm, it's 7:00...too early to get in bed and watch tv? NOPE.
Sunday, December 01, 2013
So, I am back on track yet again! I've gained about 13 lbs from where I was a couple months ago, and instead of letting it spiral out of control, I'm wrangling it in and squashing it. 10 lbs is nothing compared to the 120 lbs I originally had to lose.
I'm going to be 30 on December 26th. 30!!! I know I'm still young, but it's just a reminder that I'm getting a little older and that it will just become harder and harder to lose the weight. In that vein, I WILL be near goal by summer.
I have a couple of smaller, short-term goals to work on this month.
1. I will not weigh myself more than once per week...I want the scale to be my friend, not my enemy
2. I will not over-indulge at work (I work in a nursing home and we are constantly assaulted with junk food from families during the holidays)
3. I will also NOT beat myself up for indulging in an occasional treat
4. I will work out 2x/day at least twice per week
5. I will not let my fluctuating and often disappointing love life derail me
In a more challenging goal, I am going to try very hard not to allow life's disappointments to derail my progress. I often let outside influences (weather, love life ups and downs, etc.) throw me off my game! Winter is going to fly by (well, sort of...I live in CNY, so that's unlikely) and I have the opportunity to be 50 lbs lighter by the time the snow is officially gone!
I'm also going to be blogging more to get my emotions out. I'm a pretty emotional person, and sometimes it's easier to talk to all of you, ya know? Plus, it'll keep my hands busy and keep them from unapologetically stuffing food down my throat!
Time to guzzle some water to see if I am truly hungry or just in need of some hydration :)
Monday, September 09, 2013
Warning: I will be whining throughout this entire blog
I met a man on match.com...yes, I know I said I was going to give it up, but anyway...He was cute, smart, funny and seemed really, really interested in me. After our first date, we both decided to "hide" our profiles. We had (what I thought) was an amazing date Saturday night. I cooked a delicious meal from scratch and even made his favorite dessert and bought his favorite beer. Throughout the evening he kept promising that "something good is going to happen with us soon"...meaning that we were going to become exclusive. He always tells me I'm beautiful and that he can't stop thinking about me...and since he seemed too good to be true, I should have known better.
So, this morning I logged onto my match.com to deactivate my account. It's due to renew automatically and I figured I could cancel it now and save the money because things were going so well with this guy. When I logged on I saw that he had un-hidden his profile. I am embarrassed to admit this, but I broke down in tears, crawled back into bed and blew into work. I sent him a text and his response was "There's nothing to worry about". And then I haven't heard from him since. I've only ever asked him to be honest with me. We've been texting non-stop since we first met, so not hearing from him all day like this is a sign that something is wrong.
I did everything right. I was honest and giving and now I feel used and emotionally abused. He's either been lying to me all along or he thought he was into me and I've done something to turn him off. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I've literally spent the entire day in bed. I didn't watch tv or read or talk on the phone...I just laid in the dark, sleeping and crying. I wish I didn't let someone who I've know for such a small amount of time have such a major impact on me. Why am I doing this? I can't stop thinking about the sweet things he said and the promises he made. I feel so hurt and so let down. He's been out of work for an hour and all I can think about is "Why hasn't he called me?" He clearly doesn't care. He knows I saw his profile on match.com and hasn't bothered to offer up a single explanation.
Get An Email Alert Each Time ERICAANN44 Posts