Tuesday, November 18, 2014
As I have mentioned earlier, I have been laid off work and spent time sewing at home. I have made a Christmas/winter quilt that I am offering for sale on Ebay. This is a photo and a link to the item in case anyone might be interested!
Monday, November 17, 2014
Hello, I have missed you all! My absence doesn't mean I have let myself slip back into my binge eating. On the contrary, I weighed myself today and was very happy to see 237, which is maintaining all that I have lost this year!
I used to weigh myself multiple times each day and spend quite a bit of time here on Sparkpeople tracking and reading articles etc. Then my bunnies got disabled, I lost my job, and have spent the last month and a half at home, sewing and watching movies. At first I was worried that being home would entice me to overeat, but I have found that I am not having undeniable urges to binge. I am managing to stay pretty much within a few pounds of my current weight. This is good.
That is not to say that I don't want to lose more weight. 237 is still a lot for my 5'2" frame to carry, but I am feeling pretty positive that I broke the cycle of binge eating. I think that just maintaining for a couple of months was really good for me because my body has adjusted itself to this weight, which means it can adjust itself again when I lose some more.
Going into the holiday season, I am not worried about regaining weight at all. After all, its just a a day or two of big meals and I can enjoy these days without guilt, because when I look at the big picture, I am ok. I am still trying to be a healthier person, and I am still in the game for the long haul.
Being laid off work has been a blessing in a way. I can't tell you how much depression and sadness I have endured over the last few years. This is my sabbatical. This is my retreat. This is a chance to reevaluate things and get a grip on my life and the direction I am heading in. This is healing for me. I am looking forward to reinventing myself soon. Like the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly, I will come out of this better than I was before, I promise.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Oh woe is me! I just got laid off!!!
I went in to work today, just like any other day, and after I got the store opened up, my boss called me into the office and told me they had to make some cuts and unfortunately I was one of them. Yesterday when we got paid, they told us to go right to the bank and cash them. I actually said I wouldn't mind taking a cut in hours, but that I didn't want to be the only one making that sacrifice.
So now what? I am going to file for unemployment. Maybe try and sell some things. I don't know whether I should look for work yet because I expect the layoff to be temporary, but who knows? If business doesn't pick up, they may not need me back. I am worried, not only for me, but for my boss as well. It is a small town family owned store and they could lose it if people don't start shopping local.
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Alright Sparkpeople. I feel like I'm in one of those dreams where you're late for class or work or something, and everybody is staring at you because you are doing the walk of shame.
I have been absent lately. Where has all the time gone? Well, I have sort of settled into a routine with taking care of my bunnies. Big Brown is on the mend and Bobby is functioning better, so that's positive. It is extra work though. I did make a nice little puff quilt for Big Brown to lay on, plus I had enough extra fabric cut out to make another one and I am about halfway through that project now.
Sewing does make my back have a sore spot on the right side. Probably should do some yoga and get that worked out. This is my weekend off, so I am pledging to do at least 2 active fitness things as I have been totally slacking off in that department. I am also not weighing myself 2-3 times per day.. I wonder what I weigh right now... Let's go find out shall we?
So I'm at 241.5. I'm not going to complain about that. I would call that maintaining what I've lost so far and that is a positive thing. I figured it would be more because I had hamburger helper for supper last night and garlic bread but I countered it with a salad. Plus the other day I had cookies at work and then it was my brother's birthday and we had cake and ice cream AND PIE (my mom spoils us). Also I actually made it out of the house to go to a friend's wedding, but scatterbrained me read the invitation wrong and missed the wedding completely, but the reception was great!
So in short, not eating the greatest, not working out like I should be, but also not gaining. There is still work to be done and weight to lose and miles to walk and yoga to do and the ever present water to drink so that's what I will be doing until we meet again.
Monday, September 15, 2014
I have been trying to maintain my weight right now and doing pretty good I think. Hovering around 242. I still have plenty of weight to lose, but I can't focus on that right now.
All of my spare time is spent caring for my bunnies. Big Brown is very disabled and he can't stand up on his own. I have to lay a towel under him for feedings and to help him get in a comfortable position. His scabs from the Fly Strike are coming loose and a big one came off today. The skin underneath is pink and white and tender and not really for prime time.
Bobby is functioning pretty well. He is still wobbly when he hops and he falls over to the side and can't right himself. He is getting a pressure sore/carpet burn on his down side. Today I clipped his fur back by his tail to make butt baths a little faster. Both bunnies need to be kept clean and dry. I have to be very diligent about their hygiene. Bunnies can get scalded from urine and also they can get cecotropes stuck and smeared in their fur which attract the dreaded flies.
I am in a confusing time. I want to help them. I want their condition to improve, but it is a very real possibility that they may not. Big Brown's skin is healing, but he will probably never regain his mobility. I still have to go to work and leave him alone for a long time and it kills me.
What makes the problem even harder is financially it costs more to care for them, and the vet in town doesn't even treat rabbits. It is hard for me to find and afford professional care. I am relying on a book called "When your rabbit needs special care" and I also participate on an online forum for rabbit owners. This is hard and time consuming and costly. I am managing, but I wonder how long I can keep it up.
Even though I am sad and stressed by the circumstances, they are so sweet and such a blessing. The sweet nuzzles and the appreciation they show just steals my heart. Caring for something that relies on you so completely, just endears them to you even more. They are almost 6 years old which is entering senior age for bunnies, so I wonder how much quality time they have. They are both being treated right now for E. Cuniculi and I will evaluate the situation at the end of their treatment.
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