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Beck Diet Solution Day Thirty-Three - Eliminate Emotional Eating

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

(???) I have to tell you I have been DREADING this one. This is my BIGGEST vice, of course, along with many other "disordered" eaters. The workbook titles this chapter, "Soothe Your Emotions WITHOUT Eating". When I first looked at it this morning (I'm tired) I thought it said, "Soothe Your EMOTIONS WITH EATING". I was thinking back to the day we had to SKIP lunch to feel hunger and know that it was NOT an emergency to be without a meal (hungry). All I could think was, "I'm NOT doing this one!" But I was wrong....so let's go and learn to ELIMINATE EMOTIONAL EATING.

Today is day 33.

Beck starts out explaining that there are many emotions that lead to overeating: Anxious, Sad, Overwhelmed, Lonely, Bored, Angry, I have eaten for all of these and I will add FEAR....fear of the unknown is my BIGGIE as well as NO CONTROL...over a situation or PERSON....I know you agree...this is NOT GOOD.

Beck gives the example of one patient of hers that was "out of sorts" when asked to stay late at work for for a third night in a row. After all her negative thoughts about how inconsiderate her boss was and why didn't he ask someone ELSE? She went home and abandoned her eating plan and ate a pint of ice cream! THEN SHE WAS MAD AT HERSELF!!!! Sound familiar???

Beck presents the idea that had she been a little more dispassionate about the situation she could have problem-solved her way out of it. She COULD have nicely turned him down. But, says Beck, even if there wasn't a good solution to the problem, she didn't need to EAT.

She tells us then to contrast this woman's behavior with that of people WITHOUT WEIGHT PROBLEMS. It would NEVER occur to most to eat when they were upset. PEOPLE WITHOUT A WEIGHT PROBLEM DON'T RELY ON FOOD TO HELP THEM FEEL BETTER.

HOW TO CALM DOWN

There is nothing wrong with having negative emotions, they are just nature's way of telling us there's a problem. Beck goes on to tell us that WE CAN TOLERATE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS!

She goes on to say that negative emotions aren't DANGEROUS! And given enough time, negative emotions -- JUST LIKE CRAVINGS -- will subside on their own.

FOOD CAN BE AN EFFECTIVE DISTRACTOR -- TEMPORARILY. BUT EATING DOESN'T SOLVE THE PROBLEM THAT LED TO YOUR DISTRESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Your best option (because negative emotions are uncomfortable) is to respond to the negative thinking and solve the problem right away (tomorrow's lesson) but it's sometimes difficult to do this right away. And some problems are actually out of our control.

This is where the lesson on EMOTIONAL EATING come back into play. In that lesson we learned to tolerate the unpleasant sensations of hunger and craving. She gives examples of what to do:

USE MINDSET TECHNIQUES

1. Label how you're feeling. "I'm just feeling upset...I'm not hungry."
2. STAND FIRM. Again, "I'm just feeling upset...I'm not hungry."
3, Don't give yourself a choice! NOT CHOICE! NO CHOICE! NO CHOICE! "I'm DEFINITELY not going to eat!"
4. Imagine the aftermath of giving in. VISUALIZE EATING. How long does the pleasure of eating REALLY LAST? Now, imagine the rest of the picture:
Remind yourself how many times in your life you promised yourself you weren't going to stray from your "diet". Imagine your heavy heart, discouragement, disappointment in yourself for GIVING IN. WHICH seems better? Eating or NOT EATING.

Now, review your ADVANTAGES RESPONSE CARD...the reasons you want to lose weight Is it worth strengthening your GIVING-IN muscle by eating now?

MOST IMPORTANT: remind yourself that you simply will NOT be able to sustain weight loss if you continue to eat for emotional reasons. (MY NOTE: This is exactly WHY I began this journey with the Beck Solution). SO:

WE MUST LEARN DIFFERENT WAYS OF HANDLING DISTRESS SO WE DON'T TURN TO FOOD FOR COMFORT!

USE BEHAVIORAL TECHNIQUES

1. DISTRACT yourself TV or Reading may not be distracting enough...she refers us back to the DISTRACTION ACTIVITIES CHART in the book (again, I cannot stress what a great investment this book is). Some of them are:

Prayer works wonders. (MY suggestion)
Brush your teeth.
Polish your nails.
Put together a puzzle.
Go to a store.
Practice with a musical instrument.

2. Drink a soothing no- or low-calorie beverage such as tea...sit down and drink it SLOWLY.

3. Relax. Try listening to a relaxation techniques tape. Or just slow shallow breathing.

The more you practice this the better you'll get at them. Apply the techniques as SOON as you start to feel upset. Once you calm down work on solving the problem that led to the negative emotion.

Sabotaging Thought: I DESERVE to eat when I'm feeling bad.

Helpful Response: I deserve to feel better. I deserve comfort. But I also deserve to be thinner. Comforting myself with food will only work TEMPORARILY, and I'll feel EVEN WORSE LATER!

The workbook has another that I like even better:

Sabotaging Thought: Eating is my ONLY comfort.

Helpful Response: I certainly COULD comfort myself in other ways. Now, I have to decide: I can eat when I'm upset and GAIN WEIGHT OR I can learn to tolerate negative emotions (or soothe myself by doing something else) and get -- and STAY -- THINNER!

ONCE I START USING STRATEGIES OTHER THAN EATING TO CALM DOWN, DIETING WILL BE EASIER.

Hope everyone is blessed today. Today is day 33 of Beck and day 44 of the STREAK!!!! emoticon Jules and Ginie. I woke up to a white world again...snow everywhere in Michigan! Stay warm where you are!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDWARDS1411 11/25/2014 11:06PM

    emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 11/25/2014 7:57PM

    I have noticed I don't eat for comfort as much as I used to--whether a celebration, disappointment, or any other emotion--food was the end-all. Noticed I wrote "was" and NOT "is." You are doing GREAT!!! emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 11/25/2014 7:47PM

    What an excellent lesson. I will look forward to it... this has to be one of the most vital lessons for me: identifying an emotion or a FEAR, looking it in the face, naming it, welcoming it, sitting with it, and watching it fade over time.

If I can say OUT LOUD that I am angry, preferably to the person who is the focal point of that anger, I won't feel as pushed around and manipulated. What an eye-opener... using my mouth for something OTHER than eating! It takes courage, but often has outstanding results. If I don't tell the other party, they have no clue that I'm upset, much less why!

Well thought through, Gaye! And congrats on that strong streak! emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 11/25/2014 5:55PM

    I just talked to my friend Gary and he gave me bad news. He is the one that open heart surgery. His father is in the hospital with congestive heart failure and his BFF had a stroke this afternoon and can't talk. I am going to have to use these strategies tonight. We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow starting early a.m. right through to Thanksgiving afternoon. emoticon

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MISSM66 11/25/2014 5:42PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon and thanks for reading my blog.

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LEANJEAN6 11/25/2014 4:21PM

    That turkey was delicious Gaye--Thank-yu-Lynda

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TRAVELGRRL 11/25/2014 1:11PM

    This is a super blog and review of Day 33. There are many things I could comment on but the one that strikes me today is that "it would NEVER occur to most (thin people) to eat when they were upset. PEOPLE WITHOUT A WEIGHT PROBLEM DON'T RELY ON FOOD TO HELP THEM FEEL BETTER."

I have had some experience observing thin people eat, and she is absolutely RIGHT. most thin people choke up and can't eat, while the rest of us with "disordered eating" head right to the pantry!

It's an amazing thing to discover if we truly want to "think like a thin person".



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SHAWFAN 11/25/2014 12:49PM

    I certainly eat for all of those reasons too, Gaye. Thank you for the lesson today. I will continue to say "NO CHOICES" and mean it every time I feel like eating, and not let it get out of control.
emoticon WE ARE DOING IT! !!! emoticon

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JUDY1676 11/25/2014 12:08PM

    That is a tough one! Good strategies!
Thanks for your sharing! emoticon

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KALIGIRL 11/25/2014 10:41AM

    "ONCE I START USING STRATEGIES OTHER THAN EATING TO CALM DOWN, DIETING WILL BE EASIER."
Sounds to me like you already are!
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SANDICANE 11/25/2014 9:37AM

    I can tolerate hunger...emotions are not so easy...but Pre-planning and NO CHOICE are helping me act as though I can. Sometimes I had to just fake it until I make it.

You have a fab review of today. We really love this Beck program...she knows us!

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1CRAZYDOG 11/25/2014 8:43AM

    OH boy. YES! Have to keep adding to the tool box for handling negativity in thought. It's not easy.

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DOGLADY13 11/25/2014 8:40AM

    Emotional eating is my biggest barrier to long term success. I feel I have made progress on this. I can often identify that I want to eat because of how I am feeling. Many times I will have a cup of tea instead of high calorie comfort food. Failing that, I can often made due with just one of whatever it is that will magically make my problems go away. Progress, but not ideal.

Good luck. I suspect this will be a lifetime long lesson with continued improvements and the occasional set back.

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WATERMELLEN 11/25/2014 8:32AM

    What a super review of this key key insight from Beck.

Just like I used to believe that I could not tolerate hunger -- I also "told" myself that I could not tolerate negative emotions of all kinds: anger, fear, even boredom.

Well, of course I can. I have to. Negative emotions are an inevitable and recurrent part of life.

But recognizing that was huge for me -- and sustaining recognition of that is even tougher.

Plus: I also believed that every POSITIVE emotion deserved underlining and reinforcing with food. Yikes. Happy? Eat! Joyous? Eat! Celebrating? Eat!

So I've also gotta recognize and sustain the recognition that good stuff can happen without food.

A life-long task, probably!! Oh well.

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NEW-CAZ 11/25/2014 8:31AM

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NELLJONES 11/25/2014 8:21AM

    Eating isn't the only solution, but it certainly is the easiest and fastest. Which means my thought process has to be looking past the laziness of sticking with fast and easy. Why should I expect fast and easy? One of the things I like to do is brush my teeth, brush my hair, put on fresh lipstick and make a cup of coffee. (Keurig is also fast and easy!) Silly, but it feels like I am starting my day over, and I have the same lift of First Thing of the Morning any time of the day.

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JOYINKY 11/25/2014 8:10AM

    I just can't put this much focus on food anymore. I handle stress and emotions with exercise today, indoors if I can't get out. Hugs.

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NANCYPAT1 11/25/2014 7:52AM

    Keep it up - you can do it

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Beck Diet Solution Day Thirty-Two - Prepare for Travel

Monday, November 24, 2014

Today is day Thirty-Two! And seeing the ones I follow, WATERMELLEN and SANDICANE wrapping up their programs I am saddened. I LIKE comfort zones and following them has been one for me. And I have had so much support from all of you it has been AMAZING to say the least! It has truly been an amazing journey...one that I wish I had had to follow in my very young years but I am thankful for it NOW even more because I really appreciate it!

But I cannot thank each of you ENOUGH! emoticon

"Prepare to Travel" is what the book titles day 32. "Take It On the Road" is the title the workbook gives it. I like the workbook title better....because that is all that I plan to do, no matter where I am. Why not? It's my NEW Way of Life!

Making a Travel Plan

Beck tells us to think about it a week before your trip and create a "diet" strategy. She suggests a week so that you can think about it every day before you leave. Decide how closely you will follow your plan and what exceptions you will make, and how much WEIGHT, if any, you'll allow yourself to GAIN.

She stresses there are no right or wrong answers. Some follow as closely as possible when away so they don't gain ANY weight during this time. (this will be ME)

BUT, she says this strategy, is totally unrealistic, for most people. "If your eating rules are too strict, you might get fed up and abandon your diet altogether" she says.

She gives three other strategies:

1. Allow yourself a few hundred extra calories every day. (This is what she does.)

2. Follow your usual plan every day but add minor splurges on a few occasions.

3. Follow your diet every day except for a splurge on the last day.

Whichever you decide, decide in advance.

To decide what your strategy should be think about which foods or beverages you'll most want to have while away. A few mixed drinks at the bar? Indulging in a rich dessert after dinner?

HOW TO NOT GAIN TOO MUCH

Try to think of specific situations that might arise while you're away that will test your resolve. Then figure out what you'll do about them.

EXERCISE MORE. It will help counteract small amounts of overeating.

EAT BRUNCH INSTEAD OF BREAKFAST AND LUNCH. This will allow you to eat a larger meal in one sitting.

CARRY FOOD WITH YOU. I ALWAYS plan ahead when we go somewhere and take food with me "just in case", I don't want to be caught off guard!

"EAT WHAT'S IN THE BAG" is ONEKIDSMOM's FAMOUS quote and it is SO true!! I, personally, am SO much BETTER OFF if I don't have CHOICES! (NO CHOICE!)

She also gives the suggestion to bring foods for in transit but warns not to eat from boredom. And to be cautious of eating more meals than you had planned due to time changes. You can make arrangements with your hotel in advance for a mini refrigerator in your room or to remove the alcohol that is already in the minibar. This way you can find a grocery store and buy some food that is "safe".

USE THE STRATEGIES YOU'VE ALREADY LEARNED. Take your Beck book with you. Reread how to differentiate hunger from cravings and how to tolerate them, how to use anti-craving techniques; how to prepare for unplanned eating and overeating; how to get BACK on your diet after a slip up; how to handle disappointment and the unfairness issue; how to deal with FOOD-PUSHERS; and ESPECIALLY, how to prepare for eating out and drinking alcohol, if applicable.

She reminds us that we have learned a tremendous amount in the last month.
USE THAT KNOWLEDGE!!!

DURING THE TRIP HOME

You tried to follow your predetermined diet plan while away.

You should be giving yourself CREDIT for everything you did RIGHT!

But maybe you slipped some....are you DREADING getting on the SCALE?

Tell yourself:

WHEN I GET ON THE SCALE, I MIGHT BE HEAVIER. THAT'S OKAY I PLANNED TO GAIN A LITTLE WEIGHT. AS SOON AS I GET HOME, I'LL HAVE MORE CONTROL OVER MY FOOD AND MY ENVIRONMENT, AND I'LL LOSE IT AGAIN!

Make your trip home your SYMBOLIC TRANSITION from vacation eating to "DIETING".

Plan what you are going to eat for the rest of the day and tomorrow.

Many dieters try to quickly undo their weight gain by OVERLY RESTRICTING their eating when they return. AVOID THIS TEMPTATION because it will only put you at risk for overeating within a few days.

Be sure to REESTABLISH your helpful eating behaviors such as:

Eating everything SLOWLY and WHILE SITTING DOWN
PLANNING YOUR MEALS the night before
MONITORING EVERYTHING you eat
CALL YOUR DIET COACH as soon as you get home

In the workbook she basically gives some questions to give yourself such as where you are going and how long you will be away, etc.

But, she also gives four examples of reasonable options that I will list here.

1. Continue to eat exactly as you are now.

2. Continue to eat as you are now but also factor in up to 300 extra calories a day (of food or alcohol). (examples: a piece of bread and butter, a mixed drink, a slice of cake, etc.)

3. Continue to eat as you are now but on tow or three days also factor in MINOR splurges of up to 500 calories. (examples: two glasses of wine and an appetizer, sampling small amounts of an appetizer, bread, or a dessert)

4. Continue to eat as you are now but also factor in up to 1,000 calories ONE TIME ONLY (preferable on your last day, so you have something to look forward to). (examples: a dinner with larger portions and either an alcoholic drink and appetizer, bread, or a dessert)

Be sure to take the workbook and ALL your Response Cards with you, she advises. Reread Days 20 and 31 to refresh strategies for eating out and drinking alcohol. Do more exercise, etc.

Sabotaging Thought: I KNOW I won't have control over my food. What if EVERYTHING I'm served is really HIGH in calories?

Helpful Response: I might be able to request food that fits in my plan. If not, I'll just have to eat SMALLER PORTIONS and eat even MORE SLOWLY and MINDFULLY than usual. The WORST that will happen is that I'll be hungry sometimes. But, I've already PROVEN to myself that I can tolerate hunger. (HUNGER IS NOT AN EMERGENCY!) And I'll be SO HAPPY that I limited my eating when I come home and get on the scale!

Thank you all again for suffering through this long lesson, but this one was very important to me (FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN).

Have a blessed Monday...time is just a'flyin'! Today is day 32 of Beck and day 43 of the STREAK!!!! emoticon I think Jules and Ginie will agree with me that the longer you can follow a streak, the EASIER it becomes!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANOE10 11/25/2014 7:19AM

    Great tips for travel. You basically keep up your normal habits and allow for some indulgences. Then jump back into high gear when you return.


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GINIEMIE 11/25/2014 6:47AM

    It's easier to streak Gaye, but I am still struggling with calories-I'm either over or under never in range. The under doesn't scare me, just eat an orange or an apple but sometimes I'm just not hungry and the more I fixate on it the more irritated I get with myself. I should just be glad I have under days after Sunday's over indulgence.
I'm planning ahead for Thursday. Can't have two off the chart days in a week. So I'm answering you on day 44.
Have a blest day emoticon emoticon emoticon
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DALID414 11/24/2014 10:49PM

    Option 4 sounds scariest, I'd probably go for 2 or 3.
Happy Monday

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ONEKIDSMOM 11/24/2014 8:59PM

    Well done, well done. I can confidently say I eat MUCH healthier when traveling now than I did back in the "bad old days". Back then, travel was an excuse to indulge in everything in volume... those gigantic ice cream sundaes (you know the kind of place)... food was a large part of the experience... it was the focus of the trip for me. Now? I pack my own, grocery shop, and am SO grateful for the practice many hotels have of putting microwaves and dorm-sized 'fridges in the rooms. I'm at home even when I'm not at home.

And it was such a joy sharing such a trip with my sister last June... she called it having a "diet buddy" or "food buddy" or something like that in one blog... but it was FUN... we talked strategy and implemented that strategy, meal to meal.

Travel with confidence... you can do this! emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/24/2014 9:00:10 PM

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EDWARDS1411 11/24/2014 8:51PM

    emoticon

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JOYINKY 11/24/2014 8:33PM

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DOGLADY13 11/24/2014 8:10PM

    I used to travel A LOT for work (pre-Spark) and I tried to pack my snacks because that was the hardest part for me. I would choose reasonable meals but then get the bored munchies while driving from one location to the next. If I had apples or pretzels in the car, I did much better.

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LKWQUILTER 11/24/2014 7:52PM

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JUDY1676 11/24/2014 7:30PM

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SHAWFAN 11/24/2014 6:36PM

    You have nothing to fear, and you're not alone. Everyone is still with you and cheering you on, including Watermelle and Sanican. (Sorry. I'm on my phone and it won't let me spell properly)
You can do it and we're right there with you all the way!!
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WATERMELLEN 11/24/2014 5:54PM

    You are most definitely taking this "on the road" -- travel or life, whichever.

And you are absorbing all of it at a deep level because it's what you wanted when you wanted it --

Happy trails!! You're heading for success, no doubt about it!!

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/24/2014 4:40PM

    great ideas thank you

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MISSM66 11/24/2014 4:40PM

    emoticon Blog just keep doing what you are doing,I always problem with eating when I travel because of eating out of the house,but I try to find a healthy place to eat most of the time,keep up the good work emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TRAVELGRRL 11/24/2014 3:50PM

    It has always been difficult for me to control my eating while traveling, which is unfortunate since we do so much of it! These are great tips and definitely will work. I have not been as vigilant as I should be about getting back to my "normal" diet once we got back from our month-long trip, but now I am motivated and your blogs through the Beck book have definitely inspired me!

You are doing an awesome job! You can't argue with what works, right?

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PICKIE98 11/24/2014 2:14PM

    SOunds like you have the routine ready to go. Al those trips down south will be easier now...

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IAMAGEMLOVER 11/24/2014 1:44PM

    When I am going away, I calorie bank for about a week before I go. If I need to I calorie bank when I get home to. I usually don't gain when I go somewhere. emoticon

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SANDICANE 11/24/2014 1:14PM

    Hey there you! We may be almost finished our books (Watermellen says we have 2 more blogs to do) but we're not GONE! Watermellen is already a long-time maintainer and I certainly am a "wanna be" so we'll be around. And this Beck thing is for life! Honestly, it's for life! I know what you mean when you say you wish you could have known about this when you were younger...but would we have listened if we had? I'm thinking I wouldn't have!!! There's an old saying "When the student is ready, the teacher appears!" and that was certainly true for me...

So onward we go...together!

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NEW-CAZ 11/24/2014 11:05AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/24/2014 9:22AM

    I applaud any effort to restrain oneself from overeating and travel is no exception. As I said in my blog from long ago (Inside the Mind of the Fat Self): you may be on vacation but your fat cells aren't.

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ANGELBELIEVER 11/24/2014 9:19AM

    You're doing great Gaby. You have such a wonderful attitude. You have helped me more than you know with the phrase "NO CHOICE." I started back on WW on my own on Sat, Nov. 22. I have not had ANY snack size Three Musketeer bars. I remembered your phrase and it worked. emoticon I would find myself grabbing one up to about 5 times a day. No more. They are for my husband. He can eat them..I have no choice but to not eat them and I'm fine with that. emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 11/24/2014 8:54AM

    Keep on going and YOU will graduate and celebrate too.

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1CRAZYDOG 11/24/2014 8:35AM

    Awesome blog! You have nothing to fear with reviewing Beck with no one to follow! Love your blogs.



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Beck Diet Solution Day Thirty-One - Decide About Drinking

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Today is day Thirty-One, about drinking Alcoholic beverages. This one is a freebie for me since I don't drink ANY alcohol anymore. I considered skipping this one but decided to do it anyway since many people following these blogs do drink some alcoholic beverages.

First, most of us know that alcohol is metabolized at 7 calories per gram, a bit more than protein and carbs, but a bit less than fats. That should tell us a lot right there.

Beck begins by saying: "Drinking alcohol is an individual choice." I agree with her totally. She goes on to say, "My personal decision is to have a drink only occasionally because I'D MUCH RATHER SPEND MY CALORIES ON FOOD." I agree with her 110% again. I have always said I would rather CHEW my calories and KNOW that I have had something than let them slide down my throat without really getting the enjoyment. That goes for ANY beverages for me.

THE FACTS ABOUT ALCOHOL

She tells us that at 7 calories per gram, it's nearly twice as caloric, gram for gram, as protein and carbohydrates at 4 calories per gram. If one adds a mixer, they are highly caloric as well. One mixed drink can easily contain 400 calories.

She goes on to say that many dieters try to make up for those calories by eating less. BUT, she warns, eating less can cause you to eat MORE later. Alcohol tends to lower your inhibitions, making you MUCH MORE LIKELY to overeat or eat something you hadn't planned.

This is even shocking to me as I write it all and think back to younger days when I did drink.

"You might think it's okay to make spontaneous decisions to drink. But just as you've had to learn to eliminate SPONTANEOUS EATING and stick to your food plan, you have to learn to eliminate SPONTANEOUS DRINKING." She goes on to say that any drinks or decisions to drink, just like your food need to be planned out or you are likely to drink too much.

HOW MUCH, HOW OFTEN

Think about your choices: You can decide not to drink at all, or you can set some kind of limit. You might decide to have one drink a day, week, or month. Bottom line, it needs to be figured into your calories for the day. (MY NOTE: remember, your body will keep track whether you do or not!)

Ask yourself, "DO I REALLY WANT TO SPEND MY CALORIES THIS WAY? WOULD I RATHER EAT ______ or ______ instead? If you struggle with this, write out a list ot the advantages and disadvantages of drinking and talk about it with your diet coach.

TIP! WHEN YOU DRINK, NOTICE AND ENJOY EVERY SIP. DRINK SLOWLY SO IT'LL LAST LONGER. AS SOON AS YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR DRINK, ORDER A NO-CALORIE BEVERAGE, SO YOU WON'T BE TEMPTED TO ORDER ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE.

She then tells you whatever you decide to do about alcohol is fine, as long as:

1. You don't skimp on food.
2. You plan when and how much you'll drink.
3. You calculate beforehand how caloric the drink is.
4. You don't allow alcohol to lead to unplanned eating.

In the workbook she lists out the steps to follow if you plan to have a drink.

Sip Slowly and SAVOR every sip. Be careful! Alcohol loosens inhibitions, and you may give in to temptation, resulting in unplanned eating and/or drinking.

BEWARE of friends and family who push you to drink more. She advises you to read Response Card #4 - see below - and review day 29 to deal with "alcohol-pushers" in the same way as "food-pushers".

I came back to ADD this from BROOKLYN_BORN...her excellent reply below she said: "..and carry a glass around at a social function." That is a great solution for those that REALLY have a hard time with drink-pushers! Thought that was so good I had to add it here!

Make a commitment now to drink moderately so you won't have to cut back too much eating. If your diet isn't healthy and balanced, you body will rebel and you'll surely start to gain back weight. (MY NOTE: THIS IS SO TRUE...WHEN I WAS WITH THE "NO-FAT" CRAZE, AFTER ABOUT FOUR DAYS I FOUND MYSELF BINGEING AND IT WAS ON ALL HIGH FAT FOODS, WITH BUTTER AND PEANUT BUTTER....BUT WHEN I ADDED IN HEALTHY FATS (believe me, I did it begrudgingly) NO MORE BINGEING.

Response Card 4

IT'S OKAY TO DISAPPOINT PEOPLE

"I'm entitled to do what I have to do to lose weight, as long as I am nicely assertive."

There are many sabotaging thoughts in the book, buT I best like the one in the workbook:

Sabotaging Thought: It's sad that I have to forgo a glass of my favorite wine with dinner.

Helpful Response: I don't have to give up wine entirely. I can modify my diet plan as long as I stay within its parameters (calories, carbs, or assigned points). I'll just have to make sure the other calories I eat count so that I get the proper nutrition for the day.

One last one from the book I think fits really well also is:

Sabotaging Thought: The people I'm with will think I'm no fun if I don't drink.

Helpful Response: That may or may not be true. What's more important to me, anyway: WHAT THEY THINK or whether I'm doing what it takes to lose weight?

Today is day 31 of Beck and day 42 of our STREAK!!! Ginie and Jules, we ARE doing it!

Everyone have a blessed Sunday, and week, and Thanksgiving week if you are in the US. Michigan is in a "heat wave" now, it's 40.5 F this morning. Hope you are having warmer weather where you are too!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GINIEMIE 11/24/2014 6:40AM

    This is good information, I do like a glass of wine in the evenings or with a meal on occasion. The evening glass is only allowed if I've had all of my freggies and have calories left over. With dinner I have one glass. I don't attend wine tastings anymore and at my DIL's my one glass last several hours as I'm drinking water and keep "losing" my wine glass. My solution to getting my glass refilled emoticon Sunday was a very tough day for me, I didn't fix my plate in the kitchen by the scale, with 11 of us at the big table there was no room for it and I actually didn't think of it till too late. emoticon emoticon
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JUDY1676 11/23/2014 11:23PM

    Drinking is sure not a problem here! Very seldom does it pass my lips! The biggest drink I have is the sample they give at Olive Garden!

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EDWARDS1411 11/23/2014 6:36PM

    emoticon

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DALID414 11/23/2014 5:44PM

    I stopped drinking the day my so-called best friend bought me a huge mixed drink I tried declining. She said, "Drink it, you're more fun when you drink." emoticon I also stopped calling her my best friend that day.

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1CRAZYDOG 11/23/2014 5:05PM

    No alcohol here, either. But it's good to know the information.

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SLENDERELLA61 11/23/2014 4:03PM

    Like you, this is one that is easy for me. I'd much, much, much rather spend my calories on food. Thanks for going through it, though. I think I had basically ignored this chapter, so I learned some things.

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SHAWFAN 11/23/2014 2:57PM

    I'm not a drinker either, Gaye, although not by choice. The medications I take prohibit drinking alcohol. I may have a craving for it once in awhile, but I remember why I can't, and stick to it.
Too bad it's not as easy with food. And it should be. Especially now.
We're doing well on this streak, Gay and Ginie! Let's keep on going! Hugs and Love to you for a wonderful Sunday! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSM66 11/23/2014 2:45PM

    emoticon emoticon blog once in a while like on my birthday I will have a glass,but not a drinker. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPINNINGJW 11/23/2014 1:57PM

    I drink very occasionally. I did have a Margarita wine cooler with friends last night, but I am still on my "resistant to doing what I am supposed to" streak.

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BUSYGRANNY5 11/23/2014 12:56PM

    Great blog!!! Thanks for sharing with all of us! I'm learning via your blogs!!

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LKWQUILTER 11/23/2014 12:27PM

    I don't drink at all now and rarely did when I was younger. I have very low tolerance to alcohol so no problem for me. We are in the high 60's today but rainy--that's ok cause we need that liquid sunshine, Have a great Sunday too Gaye.

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WATERMELLEN 11/23/2014 11:03AM

    It's great to hit a Beck day that isn't a problem for you: and GENEROUS in the extreme to provide such a thorough account of it for people who do struggle with drinking!!

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/23/2014 10:52AM

    Don't normally care for alcohol although I do drink every once in a while. I never felt like I needed a drink and it was never an issue for me weight wise or any other way.

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TRAVELGRRL 11/23/2014 10:15AM

    Enjoy your good weather!

Sadly, red wine is one of my vices and as you say, definitely sabotages my weight loss. I can only lose weight and keep it off when I don't drink.

Thanks for the informative blog!

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IDLETYME 11/23/2014 8:49AM

    I don't drink alcohol - at all. But - great advice! emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 11/23/2014 8:48AM

    Oh, heck, I've been the token guaranteed designated driver from my youth up. Alcohol was not even a question, because it was against my religion. When I gave up the religion and no longer had that as an excuse, I was over 50, and I was into the medical advice that said a glass of wine a day was "good for you". But one thing they said was "If you do not drink now, don't start, just because of this."

Seemed like sound advice to me... so I've never started. emoticon

And I'm with you... I'd rather chew my calories... I feel more satisfied that way. emoticon

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TERI-RIFIC 11/23/2014 8:37AM

    I don't drink alcoholic drinks very much. If I do it's "fat girl" drinks. (Pina colada etc.) I should substitute Latte for alcohol and take the very good advice above!

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JOYINKY 11/23/2014 8:32AM

    Great blog! emoticon

Thanksgiving is coming on quickly and I will have one glass of wine. My DD hosts and there will be around 20 of us; that means food in the kitchen and seating upstairs and down. I help with the prep and slow down my eating and temptation by focusing on people. I do stairs easily, sadly quite a few don't . I'll fetch that extra napkin or forgotten drink, carry the plate of someone not able to juggle and do stairs, watch a little one, help clear, serve desserts etc. Honestly, I've gotten it down to where no one notices whether I'm eating or not! Since I eat vegetarian, I bring deviled eggs and green beans with almonds to help balance my plate. I will have A slice of pumpkin pie and as things settle down will enjoy relaxing with a glass of wine. It's all good. emoticon

Again, no mindless eating.

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KANOE10 11/23/2014 8:29AM

    I also use the carry the glass around trick. I have gone to wine tasting events and had water in my wine glass. The calories from alcohol can easily cause weight gain.

That was a nice informative blog.

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MSLZZY 11/23/2014 8:24AM

    This one is easy for me as well. I don't drink much at all, maybe once a year.

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SANDICANE 11/23/2014 8:00AM

    Yep, I hardly drink at all...ever. But when we have ppl over for dinner DH will pour me a wine glass of diet ginger ale so no one will "push" me to drink wine too.

I'd rather eat my calories too, but also, alcohol lowers the effectiveness of my resistance muscle!!!

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/23/2014 8:00AM

    no more alcohol for me either great info though thank you

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LEANJEAN6 11/23/2014 7:57AM

    HI Gaye--- That silly blog flew away and I hadn't even written much--but--it's there now-----The Beck diet is really working for you-----Enjoy Sunday-We have rain!!!!---I hear that ONEKIDSMOM and her sister might get over to see us in July---Could you get here too?---Lynda

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NELLJONES 11/23/2014 7:54AM

    The old old old WW plan I lost my weight on eliminated alcohol completely, not because of the calories or because it couldn't be fit into a Plan, but because just one drink lowers inhibitions about what you are willing to eat. I don't drink at all, but I see too many people have a glass of wine and all the "what the hecks" come out. For alcoholics, the first drink leads to the second and the twentieth. For those trying to lose weight, that one drink leads straight to the snacks or the dessert bar.

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ANGELBELIEVER 11/23/2014 7:25AM

    Good reading but I too am a non-drinker. I still enjoyed reading this. Thank you.

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BROOKLYN_BORN 11/23/2014 7:02AM

    I prefer to chew my calories too which is why I drink only water after my morning coffee and OJ. I will have wine with dinner occasionally and carry a glass around at a social function.
Back in the 60s when I was pregnant, we were allowed alcohol and in my case even advised to drink to "calm me down." DH had orders to Vietnam. We were also warned to keep weight gain to 20 lbs. That's when I realized how many calories were in my mixed drinks. Yikes!

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NEW-CAZ 11/23/2014 7:00AM

    I'm okay/....tea total emoticon

Good advice though!

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PICKIE98 11/23/2014 6:48AM

    i drink about one glass of wine a year,if that.. red wine is great for the heart. the redder, the better.

No booze for me this year though:I have to work T-day and Friday..

I just read the article:Mindful eating,,very helpful..it is so hard at first..

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Beck Diet Solution Day Thirty - Stay in Control When Eating Out

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Beck includes going to a restaurant, family gathering, holiday celebration and other special events, in this. She reminds us that we will encounter lots of TRIGGERS.

Plan to Eat Out: Create a plan for eating out and set a date to implement the plan at a restaurant sometime this week. Beck tells us that this is a SKILL that requires preparation and practice.

Choose a suitable day and place. Pick a day you won't be particularly stressed and plan to eat a slightly earlier time than usual so you won't be too hungry. Serve a restaurant that serves food allowed on your plan.

Go with a friend (someone you know won't try to push food at you).

Plan in advance how much you're going to eat. Se says it is fine to eat up to 25% more for this meal and it shouldn't hurt.

Plan what you're going to eat. Check the restaurant's menu on their web site, if possible.

Anticipate the SABOTAGING THOUGHTS you might have. Make Response Cards to read before going and bring them with you in case you need them.

Example: IT'S OKAY TO EAT MORE THAN I'VE PLANNED BECAUSE...EVERYONE ELSE IS EATING MORE / I RARELY GET TO EAT THESE FOODS / IT WON'T HURT / I CAN START AGAIN TOMORROW / I SHOULD EAT MORE TO GET MY MONEY'S WORTH.

Be sure you take your Advantages Response Card too. (the card with ALL the reasons WHY you want to lose the weight).

Plan HOW you'll tolerate cravings. Distance yourself from the food by taking a short walk through the restaurant, going outside for a minute, or going to the restroom to read your Response Cards.

When your food arrives, PORTION OFF the food you can eat. IMMEDIATELY push the extra food not on your plan to the side or to another dish, like the bread plate.

ADDRESS YOUR SUCCESS. When home, think about mistakes or successes and what you can do differently next time. BEWARE of self-critical thoughts. Try it again and prepare better.

If you did well but feel disgruntled because you couldn't eat everything you wanted, work on your sabotaging thoughts. Give yourself CREDIT for following your food plan and work on acceptance:

OH WELL! I couldn't eat the way I used to eat, but I do REALLY want to lose weight (AND THINK LIKE A THIN PERSON) so it's good that I limited myself.

The more we practice, the easier it will become. After enough practice you will leave the restaurant and say to yourself, "I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T OVEREAT!"

DINING-OUT STRATEGIES

Tell the waiter how you would like your food prepared. Most are accustomed to it. (I LOVE Reuben sandwiches with sauerkraut and I always ask them to substitute turkey for the corned beef and NO DRESSING)

Order smaller portions...appetizer instead of entree, ask for a take out container with it and IMMEDIATELY divide it and put half away (my suggestion here and I have done this).

At a buffet look for food options before filling your plate. If disappointed this is another OH WELL! point.

Practice what you know. Eat slowly and mindfully.

When you're finished, make it final. Arrange your flatware so the handles rest in the remaining food, put your paper napkin over your plate. Push your plate away.

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET ABOUT PARTIES, CELEBRATIONS, AND SPECIAL EVENTS

1. You're likely to encounter special circumstances repeatedly. There are many throughout the year and if you give yourself permission to make EXCEPTIONS you could EASILY OVEREAT AT ALL OF THEM.

2. You might go overboard in making exceptions. If you go overboard, you set yourself up to think, I'VE ALREADY BLOWN IT...I MAY AS WELL EAT WHATEVER I WANT.

3. You might find it difficult to return to restricted eating once the event is over. Beck gives the example that SHE did at her daughter's wedding. She planned to eat 25% more....she skipped all the hors d'oeuvres except a few raw vegetables, she ate all her salad and only part of her main course. She didn't eat dessert but brought a lot of the wedding cake home and ate a small piece of it for her evening snack every night for the next week. IT CAN BE DONE!

She reminds us of how SHE feels: "BEING THINNER IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN THE MOMENTARY PLEASURE OF OVEREATING ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS."

MY NOTE: I agree with her last statement 110%. I don't know about all of you but I am tired of letting ANY FOOD be a "god" to me (small "g").

There are many examples of sabotaging thoughts and answers but I will only list one short one:

SABOTAGING THOUGHT: It's sad that I can't eat everything I want.
HELPFUL RESPONSE: It's SO WONDERFUL that I can stick with my plan and LOSE WEIGHT!

This is an excellent lesson for me, though we go out to eat at least once a week but we eat at the same place and I always order the same thing and always box up anything other than my turkey Reuben. But I need to remember this one for on vacations and not such "safe" atmospheres as my regular restaurant.

Again, I am sorry if this was LONG, I tried to condense it as much as I could. And, yet again, I would advise anyone that is helped to any of this Beck Solution to borrow or buy both the book and the workbook.

Today is day 30 of Beck and day 41 of our STREAK!!! Ginie and Jules, THANKS girls, for sticking with me!

It has warmed up in MI...it's 27 right now. STAY WARM where you are.

Again, I wish you all a blessed Saturday, be SAFE, and WARM, and careful of those "sabotaging thoughts"!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMAGEMLOVER 11/24/2014 1:43PM

    Yes, those demon thoughts are always around. Today I was able to overcome, tomorrow is another day. emoticon

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LIVINGLOVINLIFE 11/23/2014 12:07PM

    Very good tips on eating out and maintaining nutritional goals. Thanks for sharing.

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DALID414 11/22/2014 10:32PM

    I pack up half my portions too.
I think I've read TINAJANE76 say, 'I can have it, if I half it!'

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EDWARDS1411 11/22/2014 9:39PM

    emoticon blog especially at this time of the year!!!

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MSLZZY 11/22/2014 7:22PM

    Wow! Lots of information. I found I did that today at the restaurant. I picked a salad that looked like more vegetables and less dressing but still had protein. I researched it after I got home and found out it was a perfect fit. But I was watchful and had budgeted for it so it turned out great.

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SLENDERELLA61 11/22/2014 4:40PM

    Another great blog!! I had forgotten about making the meal final -- that putting the handles in food. Great idea. I can even use that at home. Occasionally I find that an issue. I think I am done. I have had enough, but then I find myself taking another bite I don't need.

Thanks for these long blogs. They contain many gems. I bet it helps you, too, to get it all written down, a way to reinforce all these lessons and great ideas.

You are doing a tremendous job on this program. You have definitely "got it"!!! -Marsha

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ANGELBELIEVER 11/22/2014 3:15PM

    Another great blog. I'm starting back on WW today with a very serious attitude as I weighed 131. 8 today. I want to be around 125-127 for a 2 lb. cushion for bodily changes from day to day. emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 11/22/2014 3:13PM

    emoticon Gaye. When I eat out, I calorie bank for a few days before.

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/22/2014 2:50PM

    thanks for the great info have a great week

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JUDY1676 11/22/2014 2:20PM

    Thanks, Gaye.
I'm learning from your blogs!

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DOGLADY13 11/22/2014 1:41PM

    It is hard to plan ahead for parties. I find if I know the restaurant I am going to I can adjust based on the menu and stay reasonably close to plan. But I need time to do it. If I am dumped into the situation without time to prepare, I don't handle it very well.

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TERI-RIFIC 11/22/2014 9:57AM

    emoticon I have found that even if fresh fruit plate isn't on the menu a lot of places will make you one. You can get a burger on a plate- some restaurants feature this and it is really good. I never go to a buffet! I used to fear eating out, but not so much anymore. I stll fear buffets. Too much choice is not good for me.

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JOYINKY 11/22/2014 9:52AM

    Timely blog, "tis the season". Three evenings in a row eating out this week, two with family, one with a friend. I've done well, checked menu/nutrition online before going. Nothing like knowing a "light as air roll" that might seem harmless has 150 calories! No thank you. I push my other meals a little later in the day if I'm having a late supper out and that helps. I still have to be careful not to overeat later in the evening. Again, no mindless eating=no surprises when I weigh.

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WATERMELLEN 11/22/2014 9:36AM

    What a great blog on a really important topic -- not too long at all, it's a situation that arises again and again for most of us, and we need to be reminded about all the key strategies for dealing with it.

I am NEVER happy that I overate.

I am ALWAYS happy if I eat moderately.

I'm always stunned by the size of the portions in American restaurants (and American chains in Canada too . . . )

And like NELLJONES, I've on occasion stuck with the black coffee when there is really nothing on the menu that I want to eat . . .

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SHAWFAN 11/22/2014 9:23AM

    emoticon Gaye! I'll be looking for the books this weekend and hope to be able to start the program by next week, if not sooner. I love everything that you have been posting! Please continue to do so!
Day 41 for us, and we're doing great! I could be doing so much better though.
Have a great day, my friend! We can DO this!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MISSM66 11/22/2014 8:38AM

    Great blog,this is what we all should be doing for our self,thanks for sharing emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KANOE10 11/22/2014 8:28AM

    I study restaurant menus ahead of time also. This was a good blog. I particularly like the comment " being thinner is more important than the momentary pleasure of pvereating on special occasions." This is a nice reminder with the holidays approaching.

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NELLJONES 11/22/2014 8:26AM

    Personally I hate eating at restaurants because the big servings offensive. We went to a French bistro last year, and the waiter told me that the food may be French but they were American portions, not French portions. Which meant BIG. I told him to put half my food into a container before bringing me my plate, and there was still too much. Some restaurants have an "Over 55" menu of smaller portions, and they are still too big. Even appetizers are larger than a regular meal. I have been known to just drink coffee while everyone else is eating. It's not like I'll never eat again. The next meal is just a few hours away, and I will have total control over it.

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LKWQUILTER 11/22/2014 8:16AM

    Love the info and it is so helpful. It sure makes me think. You are still going strong Gaye!!

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SANDICANE 11/22/2014 8:12AM

    This is a really important skill, especially since our society socializes around food rather than activities.

You go girl. You can nail this skill...you CAN. Yep, sometimes it takes practise but you can do it...and you will, b/c this skill can change your life forever!!

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/22/2014 7:59AM

    I love going to the restaurant's menu on line and seeing what I CAN have, planning it and ordering it when I get there. Takes all the stress out of eating at a restaurant (which is pretty rare for me anyway).

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ONEKIDSMOM 11/22/2014 7:38AM

    Love this one, Gaye: "I'M SO GLAD I DIDN'T OVEREAT!" How many times does one tell oneself they were glad they DID overeat? Me? Never! But I have often been glad that I did NOT.

The one I have to beware of is the AFTER a holiday or special occasion during which I did well... the let-down "consolation" eating. Preparing for that reaction has taken me a long time, and I won't say I've completely mastered it! My self-talk phrase is "don't get cocky!"

You said it with this one: "SABOTAGING THOUGHT: It's sad that I can't eat everything I want.
HELPFUL RESPONSE: It's SO WONDERFUL that I can stick with my plan and LOSE WEIGHT!"

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NEW-CAZ 11/22/2014 7:11AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GINIEMIE 11/22/2014 7:05AM

    I'm loving this Gaye. By the time I get the book, I'll have a feel for what I have to do I don't eat at buffet restaurants anymore. Gave that up years ago and only go if it's a family function, then I walk through the lines, pick what I am going to have get a plate and take what I want. I do NOT go back for seconds and if I'm full I leave it.
I'm back to taking home doggie bags or in some restaurants getting an appetizer in place of an entree-means I have to pay for my salad, but the proportions are better and I don't have too much.
Turkey/pork roast dinner here tomorrow. My daughter is disappointed because I will NOT make green bean casserole-green beans almondine w/ no butter instead.
Have a blessed day. emoticon emoticon
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BUSYGRANNY5 11/22/2014 6:58AM

    Wonderful blog! Thanks for sharing!

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BERGBA7 11/22/2014 6:51AM

    Great blog! I will try out some of your clever ideas on Monday when I am going out with my colleagues to a restaurant at night!
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Beck Diet Solution Day Twenty-Nine - Resist Food Pushers

Friday, November 21, 2014

Okay, today is my weigh day. I was thrilled AND disappointed. Thrilled because this morning I was 158.2 and from one week ago that is 2 pounds down! But don't forget half of this week was out trudging in the woods hunting with John, getting absolutely EXHAUSTED. Disappointed, because I actually do want to do this SLOW so it STAYS off. I'm happy where I am now so I can do this slow. Another thing, I actually refigured my BMI and had to set my goal down from 145 to 135 because I have actually SHRUNK one inch in my "old age" and I was in denial! Another note, I just realized that I have lost 5 pounds now...time to CELEBRATE and give myself CREDIT! and I thank ALL of you, I could not have done it without you!!!! emoticon

Now, today's lesson is "Resist Food Pushers" and the workbook calls it "Week 5- Solve Real-life Problems" Day 29 "Say No to Food Pushers".

Beck gives a long account of an actual example of her own life where she had to resist "food-pushing". It is excellent but for time I won't go into it. I would recommend that anyone either borrow or buy both books they are THAT good.

I will do today's blog from the workbook.

Food-pushers are people who urge you to eat something that's not on your diet. They fall into three categories:

1. People who are just trying to be nice but don't care whether or not you eat what they offer.

2. People who genuinely want you to eat something and are offended if you turn them down.

3. People who are deliberately trying to get you to eat something they know isn't on your diet. (WHO of us has not run into this one????)

Beck then tells us to do the following:

Thank them nicely: "Oh, thanks very much, but no thanks."

If appropriate, if the food won't be too tempting, AND IF YOU WANT TO, you can ask if you can take it with you: "That looks good. Would you mind if I took it home and had it later? Then add it to your food plan for tomorrow or for some other day.

IF THEY INSIST, you can give a simple explanation if you want: "Thanks, but I have to watch what I'm eating these days." Or you can just say more firmly, but still politely, "No, thanks. I'm going to pass."

DON'T LET THEIR REACTION IMPACT YOUR DECISION. Read Response Card #4

#4: IT'S OKAY TO DISAPPOINT PEOPLE: I'm entitled to do what I have to do to lose weight, as long as I am nicely assertive.

Also she refers us to Response Cards #5 and #14

#5: SAY NO TO EXTRA FOOD: Get rid of extra food. It'll be wasted in the trash can or in my body. EITHER WAY, IT'S WASTED!

#14: IT'S NOT OKAY: It's NOT OKAY to eat this. I'm going to be VERY SORRY if I do.

Think about the next couple people who might try to push food on you. Then ask yourself these questions:

Is it reasonable for them to have a strong negative reaction?

How long will they be upset? How soon will they actually be thinking about something else?

What's the WORST that will happen if I turn them down? If that happened, what could I say to them?

If I had to be on a diet because I had a HEART CONDITION, wouldn't I refuse what they were offering? Why isn't my goal of losing weight also legitimate????

Now, think about the COSTS you will incur if you say yes to these food pushers (note the similarity to drug-pushers).

I'll have to deviate from my plan.

Eating this might set off cravings! (or a BINGE, for me)

I'll feel like I'm being controlled.

I'll feel weak.

I'll be giving the message that it's okay to push food on me.

I'll feel bad after I eat it. (UNDERSTATEMENT)

Finally she goes over a Sabotaging thought that goes with this.

SABOTAGING THOUGHT: If I don't eat, [this food pusher] will be upset.

HELPFUL RESPONSE: She may not be as upset as I fear, but even if she is, SO WHAT? I should turn down any food I hadn't planned to eat. I'M ENTITLED to do this as long as I'm politely assertive. I SHOULDN'T LET HER PUSH ME AROUND.

I have to say that this one is another one that is pretty easy for me. I have told you I live with a "thin person" who thinks like one and he has NO PROBLEM turning food down or throwing it away. I have learned a LOT from him! And the two biggies for me are I HATE feeling CONTROLLED and I know if I allow someone to control me I WILL BINGE (anger turned inward). It's just NOT worth it!!

Today is TGIF and again I wish all of you a blessed day today. It is 8 F as I write this here in MI and we were blessed not to get the "lake effect" snow that hit most of the state. They got 4-5 inches and it missed us.

I also want to thank KANOE10 emoticon and pass on this information. On her comment on yesterday's blog she told me of a site called weightgrapher.com where I can write my weight each day and see the graph. I LOVE it. I don't like keeping paper records any more than I have to so this is easy and very appreciated, I don't use a SMART activity tracker yet, I am still trying to figure out which one I want...I know I want a bracelet one this time!

Today is day 29 of Beck and day 40 of our STREAK!!! Ginie and Jules, all I can say is
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 11/22/2014 6:41AM

    Awesome! I find that with my food allergies, I have a "built in excuse" for food pushers -- "Oh, terribly sweet of you to offer, but I'm allergic to (fill in the blank).

Anyhow, appreciate the suggestions for how to deal with "pushers!"

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EDWARDS1411 11/21/2014 9:55PM

    Congrats on losing the 2 lbs. - woohoo!!!

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ONEKIDSMOM 11/21/2014 8:24PM

    40 days and 40 nights... puts you guys at Biblical proportions. emoticon emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 11/21/2014 7:47PM

    You are an A+ student of Beck's. Another very good job! And congrats on the weight loss. A very, very good job, indeed.

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MISSM66 11/21/2014 7:21PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LKWQUILTER 11/21/2014 7:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 11/21/2014 12:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 11/21/2014 11:43AM

    emoticon Now that I have lost the weight, I get people saying but you aren't on a diet anymore. I just tell them I never was on a diet, I have changed my lifestyle and that is for life. emoticon

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MSLZZY 11/21/2014 10:33AM

    Great tips for the day. Yesterday there were roasted in the shell peanuts at the café and I ate 3. One guy offered me more and I said I didn't want to ruin my dinner (3 hours away). Sometimes you just have to stand your ground. You are doing great!

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DALID414 11/21/2014 10:14AM

    Sometimes, the food pusher #3 is the boyfriend! I find it's best NOT to tell him I'm abstaining from a certain food and just not eat it, he tends not to notice. If I proclaim, I'm not eating chocolate this month, he tends to go overboard in buying me King Size chocolate bars, go figure.

I saw day 40 coming! emoticon

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BROOKLYN_BORN 11/21/2014 9:40AM

    I either tell them I'm full and can't eat another bite or mentioned my many food allergies. I don't want to disrupt your party by having to call the squad. That one always works (just not on family)

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NELLJONES 11/21/2014 9:31AM

    Food pushers don't bother me anymore. I don't care how insistent someone might be about joining them for bungee jumping or skydiving. I would say No and not care what they thought. If a man makes an inappropriate suggestion, I say No without hesitation and don't care what he thinks. If someone offers me food that I don't want, I say No and don't care what they think. I don't need to explain, "No" is a complete sentence. If I ever find myself waffling, then at some level I want what they are offering and am going through the mental process of taking the food while blaming someone else. If you really really mean No, it isn't hard. I cannot expect others to be the mechanism for making it easy to keep me on plan. That's my job.

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JUDY1676 11/21/2014 9:09AM

    You are doing a emoticon job! emoticon emoticon

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JOYINKY 11/21/2014 9:03AM

    Congratulations on the 2# and everything else! WTG!

I'm lucky, I only have one food pusher here; and am not seeing much of her. She's one that "won't eat" unless I eat. It really isn't about me, I find food pushers want to be OK with their choices.
My biggest pushers are my siblings. When they go too far; I push back as only siblings can. Last visit, my brother picked up ice cream to have for a treat at my daughter's. Nice gesture. It was after a dance program when we returned there and were visiting; I offered to serve ice cream to those wanting it as my daughter was both worn out and wanting to visit. I passed on the ice cream. Brother insisted on knowing why. So I shared that I did not eat ice cream with additives anymore. (true, has limited consumption as it's pricey!) Then came a crack about how I was ruining my immune system and went on to insist next visit he was bringing me an ice cream maker. I explained to him I didn't have an ice cream maker for the same reason I don't have a bread maker. He wouldn't let it go. I came back, "don't forget to take your medicine when we get home." and that ended it. Mean, yes. My grandkids were aghast! Problem? No, he got the point and we still love each other. There's no denying their health problems are due to poor choices. Sadly all my siblings are in poor health

P.S. I was in denial on the first inch too; figured it was in the way I was measured. Now I've lost 2"! Bummer!

Comment edited on: 11/21/2014 9:06:30 AM

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GINIEMIE 11/21/2014 8:49AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Glad you lost some weight. I guess I should measure how tall I am... and base my goal on that too.
I try not to be a food pusher, and I always offer and offer to let people to take a sample home, and I don't usually eat what is pushed. I can't believe we are on day 40-I'm liking my streak.
Yesterday, I wanted a tiny taste of an apple pie Erik had gotten at the hospital, not even a half inch of the tip. He at first refused my request and told me to "get one". I knew I had no dinner planned and didn't know what we would have and refused to indulge. Finally he allowed me to take a teeny-tiny piece, and when I'd eaten it. I thanked him, he said "that's all?" I said yes, "I just wanted to see if it is as good as the ones you used to make us. It's not"
I had my taste, it was all I really wanted and I abstained from pressure to buy a piece. BTW no one in my family can make apple pies the way Erik used to before his accident, so this year we are having apple crisp-a slightly healthier alternative as we make it with oatmeal-not flour.
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RAINBOWFALLS 11/21/2014 8:41AM

    You are doing amazing! emoticon

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/21/2014 8:32AM

    Great job on the 2# loss -- a reflection of the week you've had!

I had an incident recently where someone was trying to get me to eat an extra breakfast with her and when I offered to sit with her and drink water or tea, she angrily rejected my suggestion. She wanted company for a binge! She thinks I am ridiculous for wanting to spend time with her even though I wouldn't be eating, and I think it's sad she feels that way.

But, no matter what, my new (very strong) feeling about myself is: NO ONE gets to hurt me with food (not even me).

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WATERMELLEN 11/21/2014 8:03AM

    Weight to go!! You're doing great with the weight loss.

And I'm glad food pushers aren't too much of a problem for you -- you've got this!! Your DH is setting a terrific example in this area too: nice to have that support so close.

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SHAWFAN 11/21/2014 8:01AM

    emoticon emoticon on your weight loss!! You're doing emoticon
Let's emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYJOANNA 11/21/2014 7:43AM

  What part of no don't you understand?

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SANDICANE 11/21/2014 7:40AM

    Firstly congratulations on your 2 lb weight loss this week. 2 lbs a week IS slowly. Ok, not as slow as .5 lbs per week, but not as fast at 5 lbs per week...I deem it slow!

As for food pushers, they don't walk your journey with you. They aren't there as you try to plan your food, cook your food, weigh and measure your food and ultimately get on the scale.

When I think someone might feel bad b/c they've gone to a lot of trouble to make something for me, I just day "Oh that looks sooo good, but I can't b/c my stomach has been off lately". And that's my story. As time goes along, they realize I can't/don't eat what I used to, and stop asking.


So my friend...happy dance today! Happy dance and onward we go....together...



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JOHNMARTINMILES 11/21/2014 7:21AM

    At some point you just have to tell the food pushers to go to he!!

Make Today the Greatest Day of Your Life

emoticon Until Tomorrow!


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