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Like a 4 year old starting full-day preschool, Pitfalls of downtime

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

This past week has been, um well...
(dramatic pause)
well, I'm not sure I have the words.

Every single day for the past week or so, when I've gotten home from work I have unintentionally taken a nap. Even on the days I really carefully, conscientiously, and purposely tried to NOT nap, I have fallen asleep like a four year old just starting a full-day preschool program. And not a short nap either, I'm talking 3-4 hours of deep, hard, satisfying sleep. It wreaked havoc on my sleep cycle and the quality of night-time sleep I have been getting since sleeping from 4-8 each day killed my normal evening routine. Finally yesterday I broke the cycle!!

I started to get a little worried as the days began to run into one another that maybe something more serious was happening internally. Some friends sent me "inspirations" and buck up notes, which I appreciated, but somehow I knew my sleepiness wasn't about that -

I have a good life, and I know it. I have amazing productive and independent kids who are such a joy to me. I have a good job. I've accomplished my education goals. So what's the problem? (and before you suggest all the reasons that health issues attribute to sleep issues...) I've had my thyroid checked, I take a B12 booster and Vit D and E supplements, my blood sugars are stable (yay!), I'm not drinking sodas or using water enhancers and I'm not dehydrated.

What I realized was, for the first time in forever, I have down time. Laugh all you want - my life up to this point has been well, busy. As a single mom of 3 kids I took care of my household, ran car pools, acted as room-mom, supported sports and academic teams, clubs and other parenting groups. I serve in callings for my church as a teacher, organizer, and anything else they ask. I was in school full-time for the last five years getting my Bachelors and my Masters degrees, while working full-time in a high-stress job and life has hit a point that it's just not that busy. I finished school in January, my youngest finished high school in May, all three kids have shifted to being more in charge of their lives and don't need me to do things I've always done for them. And so suddenly there is this downtime and my body clearly needed a break.

Not that life hasn't been stressful lately, obviously that's added to it. My hip, changes at work, preparing all three kids to leave me at the start of the new year, I've been very dialed in to the fact that the fallout of having a lot of stressful things happen at once usually perpetuates my depression taking over and so I've tried to support my own awareness and keep from dwelling on all the "not fair" things that are circling me and I was proactive in getting my scrip from my Dr. refilled. I've been able to conquer most of those triggers, but I did not always win the battle against comfort eating, and so this weeks weigh in is up a teeny bit (not horrible) to put me at 282.4 (+.4 lb weight gain). I am grateful it wasn't worse.

Recognizing that I have extra downtime and accepting its existence has made me realize that while I've taken care of everyone else, I have this time to take care of myself right now and I need to listen and support myself! The sad reality is that my first inclination is - oh a nap sounds so good!

Downtime can be a pitfall - so it's time to put away the preschool naps and find a schedule of my own to take care of me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTINLOOKSLIKE 10/22/2014 10:15PM


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ALOOGOBI 10/22/2014 11:39AM

    Yay for naps! I think you are right, that your body is just taking advantage of some much needed down time! You might also be fighting off a fall bug. I notice that when I feel a little under the weather, like something is trying to catch hold of me, I also have a tendency to fall asleep in the afternoon if I have the opportunity. So let yourself have a few days of extra nap time, it might be doing you a world of good! emoticon

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AUNTRENEE 10/22/2014 8:34AM

    We all need naps. I have at least 2 or 3 small ones a day when we have busy days. I have at least 1 at home and 1 or 2 when we are on the road (I don't drive so it helps). When we going on vacation I have longer naps because the ones that I have here at home aren't that long. It helps recharge the our batteries.

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JAROL7 10/22/2014 8:26AM

    I'll be 77 in a week and I STILL think naps are good.

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Pinteresting Perspective

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

This morning I sat down on Pinterest to get some affirmation/motivator things I could print out and have as a reminder of why I'm pushing myself.

Big Mistake.

Color me crazy but I've never really looked at the health and fitness section of pinterest before. And if I were in a different mindset I could easily have gotten super discouraged at the images and messages on there. In the first few rows showing there were not one, not two, not four, but five images that referenced thigh gaps, perfect abs, and beating belly fat. One even carried the message that you should "lose it as revenge to the haters". I realize it's a fluke (or at least hoping) that all of these were grouped together (not pinned by the same person).

Or maybe it's just I have a different interpretation of health and well being.

You see - I'm not wanting a thigh gap or perfect abs. More than anything I want to get off meds and have a shot at seeing my kids get married and raising families of their own. Maybe it's just that I'm older but I don't care what the haters think, and losing weight is not about them, it's everything about me. I don't have a popular icon that i want to look like because, well, I don't compare myself like that. I read somewhere that comparison is the thief of joy and I agree.

If happiness is really a choice, then joy is not about revenge or being in the limelight or anything like it. It is about changing life. my life. Joy isn't selective by looks or personality. It has no way of evaluating my thigh gap or the condition of my abs. So this morning my reflection is that thin-ness and skinny-ness are not a measure of success. It's one thing to be healthy and happy and it's another to try and meet unrealistic standards set by comparing ourselves to others.

Find Joy. Find YOUR joy.

Today's weigh in had me doing the happy dance since the changes I made last week are paying off. Navy Ninjas have taught me a valuable lesson - and it is that strength training is an important part that can be done no matter how big or how small you are.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BA5454 10/21/2014 5:53AM

    I know this is an older blog, but it's full of positive messages and thinking. Especially love the comparison is the thief of joy--too true! Power on!

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NUTINLOOKSLIKE 10/15/2014 1:42PM

    Awesome message! It DOES seem like so much of society is focused on some difficult, if not impossible, ideal of "healthy" or "thin". It's GREAT that you are not letting that "ideal" decide what you should look, like, or strive to achieve! ^5

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EVIE4NOW 10/15/2014 8:26AM

  Great blog. Thank you.

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My life is like candy crush

Monday, October 13, 2014

I realized after posting earlier that my life is a lot like the game candy crush. Each time I get stuck on a level I have to keep retrying, sometimes for months until I figure out a way to beat the odds and get through.

I guess I should admit that I kind of stink at candy crush. But I don't have to stink at applying the same lesson in real life. Last month I made massive mental progress with keeping myself in a better perspective about happiness being a choice... only to lose it completely when I had multiple stress things enter my world.

I lost that perspective because I didn't have the daily affirmation and reminder present in my life. It's amazing how fast our mind closes itself off to new things when we stop purposefully choosing them. A good friend at work pointed out that like the game, it takes a few tries to get a feel for the situation and get to a point where you know the right path to beat it.... and I feel like that's where I am today.

I have no idea how I'm going to fix my life.

Some things are in deep, and not in a good way.

But I know I CAN get through it.

Sometimes it just means we have to hit a few bombs to set off the chain reaction we need to move forward. It doesn't actually seem like that will work, and I'm always surprised at how much happens as a result. I have no idea where this set of bombs will leave me, but I suppose being conscious in playing the game is better than playing ignorant and not at least trying.

After all, sometimes getting through a hard level sets you up to get through the next much easier.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTINLOOKSLIKE 10/13/2014 10:38PM

    I find that to be true too. If you have daily affirmations that work REALLY well for you, post them as your screen saver (do they even HAVE screensavers any more? I may be out of touch LOL). Mental attitude plays a really big role in my personal health takeback!

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LANINJALOCO 10/13/2014 7:12PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MSGO72 10/13/2014 4:07PM


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4EVER21B 10/13/2014 3:37PM

    Love the analogy! And the fact you pointed out the power of affirmations and choices.

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MSGO72 10/13/2014 2:24PM


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ARNETTELEE 10/13/2014 1:04PM

  Happy sparking!

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Back to life, back to reality...

Monday, October 13, 2014

I've been struggling this weekend. So much stress going on and coupled with other issues like funerals, ex issues and some $$ complications and I've had a really hard time getting myself out of the funk. I'm sure my plowing through life in order to get past my own struggle-y feelings is also contributing to things so I suppose the healthiest thing is to at least recognize that I am struggling with all of it, and to sort out the things in all this that I can do something about and figure out a way to deal with the stuff I can't.

I'm kind of tired of my own whining and sad feelings.

So I'm grateful today is Monday and I can get back to my regular life. Maybe it is a distraction, but a least I feel like life is moving on.

Some little victories.... I made an awesome chicken soup (no added carbs) this weekend and I feel like I'm making progress to not eating extra carbs and getting back into the habit of thinking better about adding in veggies, and I did make sure to plan and pack food for the day today (BLT lettuce cups). With everything going on I haven't really been very hungry, even tho my first compulsion is to eat when I'm in this weird head space but so far I haven't given in to it.

So here's to a new week, moving on, and getting back in gear.
Happy Monday!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTINLOOKSLIKE 10/13/2014 10:44PM

    Good for you! Keep it up!

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LANINJALOCO 10/13/2014 7:19PM


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SASHAY40 10/13/2014 7:10AM

    Yes!! A new week to recommit!! Congrats!!

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Late Night, early morning

Thursday, October 09, 2014

It's late at night....or really early morning... I figured I should take advantage of being awake and blog - I made the decision at the very last minute to not attend my grandmother's funeral. I had a lot of mixed emotions, but really the determinate was that financially it would have pushed me to the brink. I'm trying my hardest to keep things in check so that wouldn't have been very good. I have mixed emotions about not going - but at the end of the day i think it was the right choice.

Things are going well with the ST and stretching exercises and the pool was amazing. I can't wait until that becomes a regular thing. For now I'm moving forward doing what I can. I go to see my GP again on Friday for a overhaul on my diabetes stuff and checkup on how things are going with the hip. I'm hoping he has some thoughts about more aggressively treating my diabetes. We'll see.

I started my youngest daughter's quilt today - I'm excited to get going on it.

I sat and tracked my food from today....just over the new calorie range. This is going to be tougher than I thought. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTINLOOKSLIKE 10/11/2014 11:45PM

    My condolences on your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a grandmother.
I bet your daughter is going to LOVE the quilt!
I'm glad you are finding exercises you enjoy - it makes it so much easier to work out when you wouldn't rather have a root canal wide awake than do 1 more burpee!
Good luck on getting your diabetes in check. It can be so frustrating, trying to figure it all out!
With the calorie range, try boosting your quantities with veggies. I've always liked veggies, but since my calorie range is low (1400 - 1750) I eat a LOT of veggies LOL I add peppers & onions to my scrambed eggs, make side salads several times a week, and my new go to "chip" fix is popcorn - it's only 25 calories for a cup of light butter microwave popcorn, so I can eat the whole bag if I want and it's only about 200 cals!

Sorry it's so wordy - late at night I get punch-happy.

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SURVIVOR61 10/9/2014 1:30PM

    Hi sweetheart,
So sorry about your Grandmother. I know how hard choice was to make, I am so sorry that you had to make it. I myself have had to make it when it comes to finances many times and it is not very easy for us. Some family members are not so kind and tend to judge us other wise. As my father passed almost 2 years ago and 2 of my brothers were not financially able to attend. Some did not understand, but that is their problem. As for having mixed emotions, that is perfectly normal. You will be able to deal with them in your own time as you seem to be a healthy individual. And remember, your grandmother would never have been happy if she knew she was the reason of your financial crisis. After all if she was like my grandmother they knew the importance of managing our finances. That always came first. I just love that you are making a quilt for your daughter. And Keep on your doctor about your diabetes, it can be controlled. My FNL and GD are diabetic's so I know that your diabetes can be controlled. I will keep you in prayer my sister. God Bless and keep you safe.
Love always your sister in Christ

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