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Sneaking eating

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Ever since I was little, I have been a sneaky eater. I would get up at night, when my parents were downstairs watching TV, and sneak out to the kitchen to eat whatever I could eat quietly. Then, as I got old enough to venture out of the house, I would sneak to the corner store, buy 10 candy bars, eat them all, and then throw up before I got home. Once I could drive and had my own money from working, I would sneak through drive throughs and to the local coffee shop to eat cake and fast food. After I had my kids, I would wait until they were in bed so I could sneak eating junk that I didn't want them to see me eating because I wanted to be a good influence on my kids. Once the kids were in school, I would sneak to Walmart or the dollar store and buy candy, chocolate, whatever, donuts from Tim Hortons, you name it, and sneak eating it on the way home to my husband, making sure I disposed of the proof. Then, one day, I read a quote

"Calories eaten in private, still show in public!"

What a wake up call! All those times I thought I was hiding the crap I was eating, it showed on my hips, and my butt, and my bust, and my knees. People may not have seen me eating, but darn it, they could sure see the results of my "secret" binging! For me, food has often been about control. Nobody else can decide what goes into my mouth or not! That's up to me, and I will eat whatever I want to eat........ SO THERE! Talk about a moody toddler temper tantrum! What a bad attitude I had, and didn't even realize it. This quote really hit home, and now I remember that it doesn't matter to anyone else what I eat, because it is my body, and I am the one who has to live in it! Now, I choose to eat healthy foods in public or alone, without sneaking anything!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FATGEEKNINJA 8/9/2009 4:33PM

    Me too. Only I never threw any of it up. I'd be a lot more out of control when my son or husband's gaze wasn't around to shame me. :)
Then, you get this weird sort of denial going, as if the only the food other people see you eat counts. "But I don't eat that much! I eat healthy! You see me, right?"

But nobody know about the fast food lunches or the secret candy. o_O

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LISAW/3 8/8/2009 11:00PM

    I hear you! I did that, too! When I started taking this journey seriously, I knew I had to stop the sneaking. And so far, I've been able to handle it!

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    Great quote there babe! I am going to add it to my collection! Awesome! Bel :)

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BEFIT014 8/8/2009 8:15PM

    I like that quote.

Another I recently read in Oxygen magazine that really hit home with me is 'It's easier to STAY in shape than to get BACK in shape.'

Amazing what it takes for some of us to get the message!

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MINIMOE1 8/8/2009 8:01PM

    Been there, done that, & still sometimes doing that. A constant battle. Good to see someone has figured it out for themselves. Good for you.

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SARIEJACK 8/8/2009 7:31PM

    I've had trouble coming to this realization too. Call me the Queen of Denial!

Thanks for a great post.

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FEWCHERNERSE44 8/8/2009 7:30PM

    Well said.

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Friday, August 07, 2009

When I was starting my weight loss journey in 2007, I had a certain area of weight loss that I added to focus on each month of the year. January was ACTIVITY, to start getting moving more. February was WATER, to encourage me to drink at least 8 cups a day. March was FOCUS, to get my head in the game so to speak. April was FOOD, to make me start paying attention to what I was putting in my mouth. May was SLEEP, to start trying to get a regular bedtimea nd 8 hours sleep consistently. June was SUGAR, to stop my constant addiction to sugar. July was SALT, because we all know what too much sodium can do! August was PORTIONS, to start taking the appropriate amount of food on my plate at meal times. September was BUDDY, because I knew that support could really boost my efforts. October was SNACKING, to start eating healthier snacks during the day. I didn't have any for November and December, because at that point I lost my focus and really wasn't working at it anymore. Hence the 2 pound gain in my first year of attempting to lose weight!

To the point of this blog now. I want to "talk" about my September theme of BUDDY. I asked my hubby to join me in my journey that year. We had a great opportunity to work together and get healthy together. Somehow though, it just didn't work. He and I have worked very hard since then to communicate better about our weight loss efforts, but our schedules and lifestyles and way of thinking are so far apart, that it just didn't feel like support to me when he would try to encourage me. Fast forward to January 2009, and I was blessed with the ideal journey buddy. My oldest child had a friend over for a play date, and upon returning the friend to their home, the other Mom and I started chatting. She mentioned that she was trying to be more active but the winter weather just isn't her thing. I told her that I walk indoors at the local walking track a couple days a week, and if she would like to join me, it would give her at least a couple days a week that she would be active. She accepted my offer! I was very excited when she showed up the first day, because, to be honest, I had been asked my many people before her if they could join me, and nobody ever showed up! Those two days became our standing appointment, and if one of us wasn't able to be there, it was lonely, which I wasn't before she joined me, but I really have grown to appreciate our chats and look forward to it! Now, on to the accountability part of having a journey buddy. When we first started walking together, I would think to myself, I will not eat that chocolate bar because I don't want to have to 'fess up to my buddy that I "cheated". Well, before long, that stigma wore off, and I was confessing to eating many donuts, ice capps from Tim Hortons, 3 chocolate bars in one sitting and on and on and on............ So, the accountability was just not there for me. Well, months ago, we agreed that we would run a 10k together in September. Just when we were about to increase running times, and decrease walking times for her training regimen, life got in the way with busy schedules and me catching pneumonia. I was certain that there was no way we would both be ready for a 10K in September. Then, come to find out, my BUDDY has been running on her own, because she doesn't want to let me down! (I'm almost crying typing this) She really took accountability to a whole new level! I am totally inspired by her staying power, she is 3 pounds from her goal weight, running on her own, and not in the least giving up on our dream. So, instead of using guilt to drive my accountability, now whenever I think about reaching my goals, I know I want to do all the right things, make all the right choices with my eating, so that when we do get a chance to run together again, I will be ready for it, and I will be proud to tell her that I have been following the plan I set out for myself, and that I made progress even though she wasn't watching me every minute of the day, or I didn't have a check in with her every day. I am using positivity instead of negativity to drive me, and it feels so much better, and really does give me success. Instead of saying " I will not eat chocolate for 2 weeks", now I am setting goals like " I will stay within my calorie range, at the low end, so that I can reach my goals". What a motivator!

Thanks friend for "standing by" our goals, even when we don't see each other all the time!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FATGEEKNINJA 8/9/2009 3:26PM

    This is a great post. Negativity, not fat, is the enemy! Now that the strength is coming from within you rather than the approval of outside forces, you'll definitely see your goals someday, and then some!

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    Awesome blog you. I am loving that first paragraph! Brilliant stuff! You did fantastic doing all those things!!! It is so true that we need to pick our fights in order of priority and then go about the battles. We need to take things one at a time and not overwhelm ourselves with all the changes at once. Get one area right and nail it and then move on to the next. I think the mistake many people make is they try and do it all at once and then it becomes too overwhelming and they throw it all in. You have got it all sorted and you should be so proud of yourself!! I loved reading this!! Keep up the good work and go get those goals!!! Bel x

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HPLANDER 8/7/2009 2:15PM

    A workout buddy is awesome when you both are working hard. I am glad your buddy was working even when you couldn't. It sounds like a wonderful relationship.

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TINKMCD 8/7/2009 11:36AM

    What a terrific set of insights!

I especially like your observation about the power of using positivity instead of negativity to motivate yourself. I find that's the best approach for me as well.

Keep up the great work!


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AWOLF24 8/7/2009 10:57AM

    Great blog - very inspirational! Thank you for sharing! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Back to exercising today!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

I had a super wonderful fantastic day today. I kept my dishes done up all day long, had a healthy lunch with an old friend, played some backgammon. Also, went for a nice relaxing stroll with a new friend and our childrens. Then, once the kidlets were in bed, I SLOWLY walked around my back yard for 30 minutes to get back to dedicated exercise. I am determined, that even if it is super low intensity, I am going to get in 90 minutes of exercise this week. I will then be continuing my SparkStreak to make 14 weeks in a row of 90 minutes minimum exercise. I also have a SparkStreak going of 10 days in a row with 8 hours sleep! I am very pleased with how well I am taking care of myself, and feeling much more energetic as a result of taking my time to recover.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEFIT014 8/6/2009 10:20PM

    SO glad you're building back up gradually!

GOOD FOR YOU!! emoticon

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circuit training

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

So, I was reading an email from SP about circuit training, it sounds like fun. I am going to set up a small circuit (4 stations) in my back yard for my kids and I to do.
Station 1: Do 5 push ups
Station 2: Do 5 jumping jacks
Station 3:Do 5 crunches
Station 4:Skip with rope for 10 seconds
This seems very low intensity to me, we'll see how it goes tomorrow, I think the kids will enjoy it, and it will get in a little bit of cardio for me and some minor strength training just to get back to exercising very slowly. I am also going to get in a walk around the block for about 30 minutes with the kids at a very slow pace, just to get back to it slowly. Once I am handling the above circuit, I will add reps to each station, and then add in some more stations to increase the intensity.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLYFIGHTER 8/6/2009 4:30PM

    great idea! it is like a mini version of the "hurricane" workouts that mma fighters do. try to do it with no breaks in between station for an extra challenge! :)

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    That sounds fun! I hope you and your kids enjoy it !!!

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RCHRISPY 8/5/2009 11:51PM

  That sounds like a great way to get started.

I'm going to do the Sparks Bootcamp videos from January to get me started again.

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BEFIT014 8/5/2009 5:58PM

    emoticon idea! Taking it slow & easy AND involving the kiddos!

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AWOLF24 8/5/2009 4:04PM

    Sounds like a plan! Great idea to get your kids involved too.

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SUPERSNAZZ 8/5/2009 4:02PM

    Circuit training totally jump started my fitness routine: it got my heart rate up, increased my cardiovascular ability, and made me feel muscles I didn't know existed. The loop you're setting up is pretty low intensity, but that is the way to start, especially with kids.

I hope you enjoy it!


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Losing weight with no exercise, and how we see ourselves

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

I am very excited(does that convince you? trying to convince myself here) that I have had an opportunity to lose weight just by tracking my food, and that I have been forced to eliminate exercise from the equation. It has given me a chance to see what my base calorie range is, and when I am able to get back to exercising (Thursday with light intensity hopefully), I will be able to balance my calorie deficit really easily just by adding the calories I burn to my daily requirements for eating. I want to exercise so badly, but I know that it will really set me back in my recovery here. So, I am just going to try to be excited about keeping really tight in my calorie range.

Also, on the weekend, I had a chat with a riend. We were discussing plastic surgery. I mentioned that I want to have a breast reduction to take my D cups down to A cups. She told me that she did the opposite, and she was very surprised to hear that I was so "negative" about my generous endowment. I guess we all have things about us that we would like to change, that we really can't change with diet and exercise. I mean, when I have my health and happiness, how selfish am I to want my body to be more comfortable? I admit, I feel somewhat shallow for worrying about how that area of my body will look like without clothing to hold them up. I just know that the last time I lost weight, it was bad, and I am not sure that I want to be in that situation for the rest of my life. Then, I think about the risks involved with plastic surgery, the side effects that I will experience, and the impact on my daily life to recover. So much to think about. I also know how physically uncomfortable it will be for running still, and it makes me think about it all over again! I am not sure that there is a point to my rambling in this second section of my blog today, just really thinking onto my blog I guess.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FATGEEKNINJA 8/9/2009 4:30PM

    ha, wanna swap boobs?
Really, though, unless I live in someone's shoes I don't like to assume that something's not a problem for someone. I'm an A cup, and there were times I would've said the same thing to you. But it's silly! I have no idea what it's like, only the fantasy of what it's like, in my head.
Like WannabFit, I don't want surgery either, because I watch too many medical horror story shows I guess. ;) But if I did, I would, even if my bigger-boobed friends thought I was crazy. But, my advice? Go with a B. I've had many a dress/shirt/swimsuit just flap in the breeze where my boobs should fill them out. I'm happy with my body, but it would be nice to fill out clothing sometimes!!

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CIARANICOLE85 8/5/2009 10:43AM

    I don't think there is anything wrong with a breast reduction. I want one too! Sometimes they just get in the way LOL!

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    Hey you! When I had my reconstructive surgery I wasn't able to exercise for a long time. I really have just maintained my weight and even managed to lose another 7kg's just through diet alone! It can be done! Once you get used to wrapping your head around the fact you can't exercise it's actually not that hard to do!

You know I have had 2 operations now to have my skin off and body changed and I do not regret it for one second. Was the best thing I have ever done. I think you need to look up a few surgeons when the time comes and go see them and discuss it. If it doesn't feel right you will know then and there when you are in their office. The surgery is a bit of a debatable topic with some people but deep down you will know what is right for you. I knew I couldn't live with it so I changed it. Best thing I ever did and I haven't looked back. You do what you think is right for you and don't worry about everybody else's opinions. It's your body and you are the one who has to live with it. Go and read my blogs again on the surgery if you need too! lol

Keep smiling babe xx

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CODEMAULER 8/4/2009 1:06PM

    I have a friend who had reduction surgery and she was pleased with her choice. She's an avid runner, which had a lot to do with her decision.

I'm not very endowed and even less so having lost weight, but I'm (usually) grateful that I am small. My activity level would suffer, I'm sure... not to mention that I'd *have* to wear a bra all the time. =)

I'm glad to see that you'll be getting back to exercising soon; you must be feeling healthier!! ~ Trish

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RCHRISPY 8/4/2009 12:55PM

  Yeah on your sticktuitiveness at maintaining the low calorie range.

I'm large chested and I understand the uncomfortableness of being big, but once I accepted that God made me this size (I've been any where from a 32G - 36DD), I've started to be more confident of who I am.

I realized a couple weeks back that part of my weight gain was because my MIL thought I was a hussy trying to get her son in bed. As I've lost weight my bust has been dropping too (so has another good friend, she just went from a G to a D after a 57lb loss). Give it time your body might eventually drop that bust weight for you.

I personally never wish to be smaller than a C cup, especially since fashion is drafted and cut for B-C cup gals. Being on either side of the equation just makes it difficult to find well fitting off the rack garments.

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SONSHINE1948 8/4/2009 9:44AM

    Reduction is something you really need to think about. Do some research, talk to those who have had it done. Weigh your pros and cons. Speak to your family doctor, then make the decision. Good luck!

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BEFIT014 8/4/2009 9:41AM

    I'm an A cup and have considered plastic surgery-only to a B, tho. Don't want huge but just a bit than what I have now. Like you, tho, all the horror stories about lopsided-ness, leakage, etc. made me change my mind. I'm finally happy with what God gave me-just wish I hadn't held the door for everyone else the day God was giving them out emoticon!

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