Sunday, September 14, 2008
I overdid it again and burnt myself out with exercise. In March I got seriously out of balance. My whole life had turned into monitoring what I eat, and exercising more and more and work. One day I went to step on my treadmill and I suddenly burst into tears and felt almost a rage come over me. I realized so much for those baby steps i'd promised myself on my spark page...I was burnt out. I decided to take a week off and do nothing...no recording any food, no exercise. Then I'd go again at a saner pace. Unfortunately it was like letting the plug out of fast running drain. I never could face the exercise again, or even the spark site. Whats worse it was like I was self destructing I started smoking again after being smoke free for 6 months. So I went right back to where I was before spark. I haven't gained a whole lot of weight, but I went from running to puffing because of the smoking. Even as I write this part of me wants to run away ...but I know that I'm overwieght and I need to get to a healthy weight, I know that when I'm eating healthy and exercising...(the right amount) I feel wonderful, and I'm trying to get myself back under control. Tomorrow it will be two weeks since my last ciggerette. Which can also lead to weight gain...I didnt' want to do that either. However, there is never a magic day that you wake up saying hey...I want to go thru nicotene withdrawal, or hey I want to exercise. It has to start with a decision. So I'm making some decisions. I'm super shaky though and really need support. I hope you all have a good day.