Friday, February 08, 2008
Lord knows I gave my scale every chance to redeem itself today. I stepped on lightly, I stepped on firmly, I stepped on with my arms out to the sides like a flying airplane., I got off and stepped on with one foot, while holding other foot off to the side, I stepped on holding my breath, I stepped on letting all my breath out with a whoosh until i practically saw spots, I did skinny visualizations and then stepped on again, it even resisted ferverant prayer...I tell you its evil. I would have been happy with a mere ounce lost ...but oh no.
So I got off and scratched my head and decided I'd do one more thing...a breakdancer head spin on the scale might work. I got a headache....scale just said 198, 198, 198, 198, ..........................
For whatever reason despite eating in my calorie range, and exercising. (went above cal range one day) for the last 2 weeks my scale has fallen in love with 198 and won't let it go.
I think thats very rude. However, I'm stuck with my unreasonable scale so I'll just have to try harder to trick him next weigh in. I think I might call Him Hitler. lol
Anyway he'd be really mad if he knew I lost another half inch off my waist, that I was actually able to eat 8 servings of vegetables the other day, and drink all my water.
Bruahahahahaha......Hitler will lose his power over me, its just a matter of time. The weight has to go sometime.
Hope you all have a wonderful day, and haven't been traumatized by this foray into my wacky world where in-animate objects come to life and are far too powerful for their own good.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Okay can you lose weight chewing your nails, and having every muscle tightened while watching your daughter compete in dance. lol Okay..this really has nothing to do with losing weight...but everything to do with whats dear to me. My family and celebrating the success of my daughter who is so fit and talented. Today she competed in the Apple Bowl Dance Competion. I'm just going to repost a post I made on the quit smoking forum...Here it is.
Kailee and Kelli her very pregnant instructor and studio owner who she works for as a dance instructor.
I'm so excited......Her choregraphy and performance for the beutiful people took first Place for the Apple bowl and.....
She as an individual won the over all prize the Apple Bowl trophey itself for the Top dancer. The judge said she cried at her lyrical solo. I know I sound like this horrific stage mother, but if you only knew this kids personal journey. You would understand.
She took her first recreational dance class only 5 years ago, when a couple of her friends urged her to come with them. Kailee was in a deep depression, distraught over the death of her best friend since primary class. Vanassa died suddenly we saw her in the morning and that afternoon she had a seizure. Kailee wasn't coping at all, and to this day her room resembles a shrine to Vanassa but also to dance now.
I was so worried about her. Then she started dance and everything changed. She found her passion. She decided to try out for troupe the advanced dancers, even though she knew her chances for getting in were nil. She prayed and we went and held our breath and she got in against all odds I'll never forget that day, my troubled daughter looked at me and said...Mom I prayed for this, and look what God has done for me. Her teachers have commented what has happened to Kailee she's like a different person so confident and sure of herself.
Since then she has never looked back., and she decided I don't want to be a lawyer I want to be a dance teacher with my own studio and store. She lives and breaths dance. Last year she auditoned for the Maritime school of performing arts. During her interview...the director looking at a mere 4 years of experience was setting Kailee up to be rejected, by saying how much more experienced and professional her dancers were and that she might feel bad being in this school. Kailee cried after the interview but still went back at 2pm to audition and when the audtion was over...the director called her back but let the other dancers go. Kailee was certain she was going to be dismissed. The director said I'm going to break my rule as I normally notify applicants by mail, and tell you my ruling now...Kailee nearly burst into tears certain she hadn't got in. the director instead said...You are the biggest surprise of my career and welcome to my school.
So yes I sound like the biggest, braggiest, stage mom of the world. I just can't help it I love my daughter, and tonight I could just cry tears of pure joy. She has been thru so much and she really deserved this. I'm so excited I'm having a better time than she is. hahahaaha
Whooooo hoooo....thanks guys for crossing the fingers, feet, and eyes...it worked...whooooooo hoooo there is a party in the ferdinand house tonight!!!!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
This week my challenge and focus has had to turn from keeping my exercise up to keeping my motivation up. I tend to be an all or nothing type person. Which is why dieting could never work for me. The most important thing that can happen for me here is to learn how to live a healthy way, and not in a diet mentality.
I was so pleased with myself the last few weeks, eating right, exceeding my goals with the fitness, feeling good. Until the day I woke up and my body said I have had enough and will not perform another minute for you...I need to rest and heal! I was hurting so bad, and had to concede that I could not exercise that day, the next day came same thing, my routine was going down the toilet, my body was hurting, and my mind was becoming discouraged. I was frantically telling myself tomorrow you'll be able to exercise and get back on track, but alas its now tomorrow, and I'm still too sore, and not well to exercise. This afternoon, i got really down about it all. It was like a black cloud came and settled over me, and then started to rain down on me.
What I need to learn this week is there will be set backs, yes and sometimes we get ill and we can't do anything about that...this is life. My challenge is to somehow really know...thats okay...its not the end of the world, and you can and will get back into your routine.
These things are going to happen, and I have to figure out how to not let them send me into such a tailspin. I went from super excited, to depressed in a matter of days.
Its just crazy. The one other thing I can think that may have contributed to the blues coming to visit was the fact that I have all but stopped taking the champix I am on to quit smoking. There have been some links to depression with this drug. I'm praying its not so, I've had depression on 2 other occasions in my life and just don't feel I can face it again. God willing I'll soon start to feel better.
I chose the pic above to go with this blog because you can see Gods hands in the clouds. I am reminding myself no matter what cloud comes into my life....God is in it, filling it, and using it, for my good and His glory.
I hope my blog doesn't discourage anyone today, but I feel if I'm going to blog I need to make an authentic record of this journey, both its highs and lows, and hopefully re-reading in the future, will help me deal with those as I grow and learn, about this healthy lifestyle. I hope it will also help others to be real and reach out for help when they too find themselves in a place where discouragment can creep in.
Bless you all,
We can do this...one baby step at a time. (and yes you may have to remind me its baby steps now and then). lol
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