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The Madness Stops "TODAY"

Friday, March 28, 2008

Okay I have been regularly messing up this month, and because of that I have no weight loss. I've moaned and groaned, then groaned and moaned some more. Its not working though.

So is officially putting on her big girl panties...and getting back in the game.

I'm off today and my plan is to leave the computer in the next 5 minutes, get dressed and go to the pool at the hotel. Where I will swim/waterjog for at least an hour and if my energy will hold up 90 minutes.

I will focus on small meals eaten on time and getting my water.

When I come home I will make a list of the foods I need to get into the house for the coming week, and make an exercise plan.

My immediate goal for this week is to get to 191 so that I can finally officially put up the lost 15 pounds pic on my page.

5 pounds after that = 185 Hair cut/color

5 pounds more =180 = new outfit

I'm also going to call this week to find out if the new gym in town offers any kind of class I might be interested in.

Its a new day...and I have the power to make these changes.

I'm refocusing and choosing....that I will be successful and I will reach my goals.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAROGERS 3/29/2008 1:25PM

    Hurrah for Heather! You've motivated me. I was supposed to go to a yoga class (for the first time in 2 months) and I said nothing would stop me, then my sister called and I didn't go. But your attitude inspires me - just because I missed the class doesn't mean I can't go to the gym and do something else. So here I go, out of my robe (it's morning here) and into my gym clothes, right now! Thanks!

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JENNYALL4HIM 3/28/2008 11:29AM

    Yay! I've been off for awhile, too, but it's a new day! No beating ourselves up, just put on those "big girl panties!" hee hee You did great for going swimming! 30 minutes is a lot more than nothing! And like you say, you still have time today to do more.

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HOFF0081 3/28/2008 11:16AM

    Great job Heather!! I think we are having some motivation problems, but today is the day! I gave myself a pep talk via blog too, and hopefully it will work. We can do it! :)

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COOPERLEDGEN 3/28/2008 9:44AM

    Great Job Heather. I think today sounds like a new day for a few of us. I think I am feeling better but I am going to use the weekend to rest up and then back to training on Monday for me. No excuses.

Your body has been through a lot lately, and you are doing great. Great job on finding the motivation today to keep going in smaller spurts. You can do it!

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GRACE2GRACE 3/28/2008 9:28AM

    Update - went swimming but forget the grand 90 minutes...I only lasted 30. My energy is just so low these days.
However, this is my day off and the day that I have the time to really get in a good workout. So rather than be depressed that I got to tired after 30 minutes swimming. I decided to come home, have a snack a little rest, then do 35 minutes on the treadmill, and then later on tonight I will do another 35 minutes on the treadmill. I'll still get the large workout just not all at once, but from what I've been reading it doesn't have to be all together.

So it didn't go as planned but it will still all work out. This is what I need to cultivate that attitude of if this isn't the way we'll go this way. Rather than my usual if its not perfect all is lost attitude.

I'll report in before bed and see how well I make out with these smaller goals.


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SURFACING 3/28/2008 7:19AM

    Good for you! That's a great attitude. Keep it up. I know you can do it!

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When I hit self destruct mode....I don't do it in half measures.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I'm in trouble. I have not been able to really bounce back into the good groove I had going on since being sick. I have been getting up each morning vowing to be good and at the end of the night hopelessly over my cal. limit. HELP!

Today started off okay and then I got so hungry I told my husband to bring me chinese food. Not the veggie kind either. I have enhaled no less and probably far more than 900 cals and i'm over agian. My scale is up too and i've been hoping its fluid...but well come Friday if it still says that I'm going to have to change my meter. : (

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAFEHAVEN 3/27/2008 10:18AM

    Hello! I saw your comment on bible study - Integrity and you made a comment regarding the desire not to do the things you don't want to do etc. Thought this will help you and relieve you of a burden that you don't need to carry and cast it on God and give you peace in your heart and lift you up! ( I posted this on my blog on 10/25/07).

Praying through the deeper issues

What to do When I do the Things I do Not Want to Do

Read these encouraging words that Apostle Paul said and see if this doesn’t speak to anyone who has ever struggled with a behavior that they knew wasn’t good. (e.g. Alcohol, drugs, other destructive substances, eating disorders, other compulsive behaviors…)

Romans 7:15-25 (The Message)

14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.

17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

The point is, when you try to get free and do the right thing on your own, you can’t. But with Jesus, you can do all the things you need to do because he will strengthen you and enable you to do them (Philippians 4:13). And if God is for you, who on earth can be against you? (Romans 8:31). Ask God to show you what steps to take to find all the healing, deliverance, and wholeness you need.

Comment edited on: 3/27/2008 10:19:02 AM

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LIZPB2008 3/26/2008 2:47PM

    Hey (((((HD)))) I'm sorry I haven't been around more. :(
I hear ya about this issue. My biggest troubles come when I get too hungry too. I really try to space out my eating so this doesn't happen. Breakfast, 2 hours later snack (usally a kashi bar) lunch, 2 hours later a snack, supper... when I skip those snacks I always go overboard with the eating at lunch and supper.
Don't beat up on yourself too much. This is a marathon not a sprint and it will take some time to train ourselves.
Did you get your results back from the Dr?
Smile and give yourself a hug sweetie.

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SAMANDAXO 3/25/2008 8:56PM

I have been worried about has been really quiet around here. Gosh I miss your humor!! Dont beat yourself up, we have a long road ahead of us and it is bound to have obstacles and roadblocks and potholes in it. Just dont quit it!!!! Get back on that smelly horse and go for a ride girl..I need you in this race. Be good to yourself, maybe you tried to do too much too soon. Slow it down, I am here rooting you on...shaking my Pom Poms all the way!!!

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Need a motivation injection.

Friday, March 14, 2008

This past month being sick has really put a kickin into me. I have had no energy at all and felt sick almost every day. This week I had an episode where I nearly passed out twice. Now I have a little machine to monitor my blood sugar. I can't tell you how many times I've gone out to do something, get the groceries, go out to dinner, or to a movie, and gotten so sick I had to come home. Last month I felt so good and this is just the extreme opposite. I've tried to continue to get in some exercise, and I've tried to log my food. But little by little I'm slipping. I don't want to give in to this discouragement. Its bad enough I have to be sick, I don't want to lose all the positives I've gained from joining spark.
Today I was supposed to get the groceries and go to Suzy Shier's to buy a couple new tops for work. I was looking forward to that. However, getting the groceries turned into a battle ground to stay upright again. I wouldn't have even gotten them if my husband hadn't been with me to help. So I didn't get to Suzy's but I did manage to get the groceries.

However, I'm really bummed out. I'm just so tired of being sick and tired, and I'm not coping very well at all.

I'm going to go to bed this afternoon and hopefully I'll be able to get up and go to work tomorrow morning.

Yup I'm singing the blues for sure.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALITHERUNNER 3/21/2008 11:48AM

    **hugs** my friend... it's SO hard when it feels like our bodies are fighting us. Take care of yourself...

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NO-EXCUSES 3/16/2008 6:28PM

    Thank you for your comment on my page. I just want to encourage you to hang in there. Right now you need to think about your health. Things will get better sweetie. I agree about the other post here about trying to eat lots of small meals. Do what you can, don't push yourself. If you feel up to it go for a little walk one day (even to the mail box and back) build back up to where you were last month. I don't think you are giving up, you are still here posting girl, and that helps sooooo much. You will over come this and look back on it as a small speed bump. Oh by the way you are beautiful!!!!!!! Have a great day and keep your chin up. It will get better hun!

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LIZPB2008 3/14/2008 2:24PM

    (((HeatherDawn)))) I'm sorry I've been AWOL lately but just haven't had much time to get online. I did read your post on BV and just briefly checked the info regarding Hypoglycemia here at Sparkspeople. Sounds like serious stuff. (that is what you said they thought it was right?). Anyway, I think you need to go easy on yourself right now until they can determine the extent of your situation and any treatments if necessary. You are ill and need to treat yourself as such, not beat yourself up. I'm sure that once you are healthy again you will get right back to it. Try to hang in there until then, eat small meals frequently (from what I read) and definitely don't over do things!
Sorry you're feeling so crappy. Wish there was something I could do to help out. :(

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The Cow just jumped over the Blue Moon

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Well after checking myself out I realize two amazing things...
A...I'm still alive!
B...I actually completed the 20 minute run in the week 5 of the C25K running program I'm doing.

I was convinced there was no way in the world I could get thru that run. I figured the cow would jump over the blue moon and do it quite gracefully, before I would succeed running for 20 minutes straight.

I had visions of repeating week 5 for 6, 7, 8 weeks similar to the repeating piano lessons I had as a child. Usually on the 8th week, the piano teacher who's hair had now turned grey, would let out a pitiful shreik of purest agony, and then turn around for a few minutes, get herself under some measure of control, turn back and with a shakey smile say,..".veeeerrrrry goooooooood Heather..shall we move on." : )

So to all my Couch 2 5K teamates - if your thinking right now you can't make it thru week 5's final kick in the butt. I think thats probably pretty normal, and you will get thru it too.

hope that encourages you in some twisted way....

If you can find the breath to growl that helps too.

So shall we.....move on. : )


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALITHERUNNER 3/6/2008 12:36PM

    Can I be the first to welcome you to week 6?

I'm not even scared of the 25 minute run coming!!

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64 year old Nana...makes her dance dreams come true.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Something happened today that really inspired me. I thought I'd share it here because I know that deep in the back of our minds, especially those of us who aren't in the best physical shape is that little voice of doubt and doom...saying a runner? come on get real.

But why NOT?

Today i was at DanceAbition where my daughter was competing in dance. I have practically lived in the theater the last two days, and was exhausted until I saw someone inspire me and the entire audience, to give us a shake that said it doesn't matter how old you are, or out of shape you are, or what you weigh...if you have a passion, a dream, a purpose, you can succeed at it.

Last year the grandmother of one of the girls at our studio confided that she had always loved dance, and wished she had been able to compete like her grandaughter when she was a girl. Well we all knew Nana adored Dance. Need a costume Nana. Need a fund Nana....Need an organizer call Nana. She was Jordans grandmother but all the girls in senior troop called her Nana and thought very much of her.

Well Jordan said to Nana...its not to late. If you like and if you dare...I'll teach you to tap dance this year and you can enter and compete...that is as I said.."if you dare".

Nana wasn't about to let Jordan get away with that...uh uh uh! So she said your on and bought her first pair of tap shoes. Jordan taught Nana tap once a week in the kitchen and tonight...Nana competed her tap solo at DanceAbitition.

The place went wild everyone was blown away, and so inspired. At 64 years of age, and several pounds more than a regular size dancer...Nana proudly displayed her not to shabby tap skills. She received a standing ovation from the crowd who just went crazy. The Judges said she was in their opinion there new "IDOL". She won a gold medal and to top it off....the trophy for top marks in adult tap. Whooooo HOOOO Go Nana.

Tonight her dance dreams became a reality.

So tonight it doesn't matter your age, your weight, if you want to run, or do anything eles. If you want it and your willing to invest some time and energy into it...You can make your dream come true.

I'm not lying...I saw Nana do it tonight. She's currently beaming, can't stop smiling. she beat Jordan her grandaughter who only got a and she inspired every one of us lucky enough to be in that theater today.

what is it...thats been knocking around in your mind...what kind of missed or seeminly missed opportunities. Dig em out...look at it..and go for it. Cuz Nana would tell you...its never too late.

Oh and guess what song she danced to?

"When I'm 64"....what eles. lol hahaha

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNCHOOSE 3/3/2008 9:16AM

    Thanks for the inspiring story.

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TAKE2ASAP 3/2/2008 12:22PM

    I'm so glad I stumbled onto your blog. A real inspirational story! Thanks for posting it.
Cindy from Kansas

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KATHJSMITH 3/2/2008 11:07AM

    What a wonderful and inspiring blog. Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us. GO NANA!!!!

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