GRACE2GRACE   29,291
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Wow...its some hard jumping back on the wagon.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Its been at least 6 weeks that I have been off the wagon. I let myself get so driven again, I felt my whole life consisted of work, and what am I eating and exercise. One day I went to get on my treadmill and something justsnapped in me. I couldn't do it. I was so angry I wanted to hit something and thats when I realized once again I was seriously out of balance with my life. So I thought...I'll take a week off and forget about exercising and logging everything I eat. Well I definitly think that was needed at that point but here I am all this time later and I'm still off the wagon. I have to get going again. I have been saying that for weeks but haven't gotten anywhere. So yesterday I thought I'd start small. Log my food if only one time a day, log into spark and spin the wheel, read an article or email and make a post on the boards. Hopefully this will help me to start feeling inspired again.
Do you guys have a hard time finding the right balance?
Heather

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUIRKLES 6/17/2008 8:54PM

    I'm so glad you're back! I'm back too! It was really hard once I finished the c25k program to stay motivated to keep up with my exercise and everything. I fell off the wagon too. But I'm getting back up on it and it looks like you are too! I think balance will be a continuous struggle, but as long as we keep coming back we'll be good in the long run. And starting small is definitely the way to go. Just put on your gym clothes and take a walk. Once you do that you'll be inspired to jog some, and then you'll be so proud of yourself you'll keep going! And remember how good it felt when we were eating mostly healthy food and getting regular exercise? I hope everything is going well with your family and your work, and am psyched to see your happy face again!
Jessica

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COOPERLEDGEN 5/28/2008 4:32PM

    I am glad you are back, even in baby steps. Take it slow. You can do this!

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BREAKINGFREE08 5/26/2008 1:29PM

    Sometimes all we need is someone to come alongside and give us a hand up.
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MARIELLEE 5/26/2008 10:02AM

    Yes! Can so relate to the struggle with balance. I work in a stressful environment and challenging home situation (ongoing renovation of house for last 6 years, still no sheetrock on walls, etc.). Getting the exercise in and eating well require me to focus on my needs, which I don't always do so well.

I am finding that I need to go to God to find that, to see what to say yes and no to, and to stay on track. To truly, in the deepest part of myself, to know that Father God loves me, wants what is best for me, and encourages me to take care of myself.

All the best to you as you work to come back to balance. Praying God grants you grace and peace in the process.
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M.

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Getting Even with my Evil Scale

Friday, April 04, 2008


My plan can be seen in the picture above. It won't know what Hit em!!! lol

I took a break yesterday from all of it, exercise, logging my food etc. This past week as I continued to make myself exercise every day, make myself log my food, while watching my scale not only drop, but climb., I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier. My c25k runs were miserable endurance tests and I was no longer finding any joy in any of it. I got on the treadmill yesterday going to make myself run and three times in less than 5 minutes my ear buds fell out of my ears. I lost it.....I litterly lost it. I was so frustrated I just wanted to punch a wall or something. I ended up in tears. It was insane. Finally I realized I truly need a break. This isn't so much a healthy lifestyle for me anymore, this is turning into major pressure. I'm missing some key componet - balance. I have to find that balance and I have to figure out how to live this as a life style.
Diet rage...I believe its referred to and no question it was getting me.
So I didn't exercise yesterday at all, and I didn't log any food. Instead I went out for a movie and some wings with a friend I haven't seen in a long time.

I'm not giving up here....but i'm definitly in a learning phase. I want to get the weight off but I may have to resign myself to it taking even longer, because focusing only on this and work is making me miserable.

I hate running the 28 minute runs I'm on in c25k and its killing me because i'm so close to finishing the program, yet they make me miserable. That sense of accomplishment that was there at first is gone. Now it feels like getting on the treadmill is going to the torture chamber. I may go back to just running intervals at least it was more interesting and fun.

I'm just really struggling with it all these days. My scale has not dropped but only climbed since march 1 and its getting very depressing.

So I'm taking a small break again today, will get back on program tomorrow. Just need a few days away from all of it, and then I need to figure out how I want to approach this in more of a less driven way.

Hugs,
Heather
Heather

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUFAN1989 4/4/2008 12:13PM

    You are so right; you have to have balance. Good for you that you are taking a break, stepping back and re-evaluating your situation. This is a process; we’re learning a new lifestyle, and that is going to take some trial and error. You have made fantastic progress on the C25K, even through all the obstacles that have jumped in your path. But being miserable is no way to live. Go back to what you enjoy. Intervals are great for losing weight anyway!

Here’s to finding your balance!

Hugs,
Robin


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JUSTLARA 4/4/2008 11:42AM

    I totally understand what you mean about needing a break; that's how I felt last week. I found this article around the msg boards here and thought it might be a good workout, especially to mix things up a little (I'm getting a little bored with C25K right now).
http://www.shape.com/workouts/7
916
I'm going to try it next week I think... Good luck! I'm sure you'll get out of this slump soon!!

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HOFF0081 4/4/2008 9:37AM

    HUGS. I'm so sorry you are going thru a rough phase!! I think we all have them, and it is normal. So take off the time you need to figure out what will work best for you. You've been a huge source of motivation and inspiration for me, and if you need anything, please let me know. I've been there (and am still working to get back, thanks to scale issues too!), and I know that everyone will still be here when you get back and will be supporting you 100%. Like they say, you WILL finish....no rush to get there, just do what works for you! :) :)

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COOPERLEDGEN 4/4/2008 8:44AM

    Hugs to you Heather! Take a well deserved break if that is what you need to re-focus on what is important to you right now. We will all still be here when you return from your hiatus. You've been such an inspiration to me. I read your previous blog about not being diabetic-that is great news! Now if you can just figure out how to get your body back to some sense of normal things will begin to fall into place for you again I just know it!



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Great News...I'm not diabetic!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I got the results of the glucose tolerance test I did on thursday and it was normal. Such great news. Now we just have to figure out why....I have these episodes of such low energy and my blood sugar going so low. I'm just relieved though. Reactive Hypoglycemia doesn't seem to be even in the same ball park as dealing with diabetes.

doin a happy dance.
Heather

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMAT40PLUS 4/3/2008 3:54PM

    Hooray!! That is very good news, indeed!

Marilyn

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JOANBAYONNE 4/3/2008 2:30PM

    I would do a happy dance to at the moment for you, but there is another teacher's class in my room and I don't want them to think I am anymore crazy than they already do. So I am mentally doing a happy dance for you to. Congrats. Now just figure out what IS wrong. Good luck and keep us informed.

Joan

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HOFF0081 4/1/2008 10:08AM

    YAY!!! I'm so happy you got back some good news. Now hopefully they can figure out what is exactly going on so you can feel better. Congrats, and thank you for the kind words of support yesterday - it really means a lot to me. :) :)


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PKTULL 4/1/2008 9:50AM

    That is good news!!! You do have reason to celebrate.

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Whooooooo HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Saturday, March 29, 2008


I'm so excited the Sparkspeople healthy living caclulator says I did greeeeeeeeeeaat.

Today I did the following.
Drank 8 glasses of water
stayed in my range by eating 1485 calories and its the closest I've seen me eat to the chart they recommend.

I ate 5 servings of veggies
2 servings of fruit

I had 8 good hours of sleep

and

got in 80 minutes of exercise. Burning 500 calories on the treadmill.

I'm tired, and I'm sore but I'm happy, and now I'm going to bed...gotta get those zzzzzzzzz's they are just as important as the exercise.

Have a great night guys....thanks for helping me get back my motivation.
hugs
Heather

PS pic is just my face...its done thru funhouse software...lol

Lets get physical, physical....let me here yer body talk, body talk. ahahaha

I don't think you will ever catch me in a leotard...I don't care how small I get. lol

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CBEACHGIRL 3/31/2008 11:35AM

    woo hoo Heather....please put my face on THAT BODY! what an inspiration!
Keep up the good work girl, I'm on my way out of 190 ville, plan to arrive in my new community within the next 2 weeks! Yeah! See ya...and thanks for keeping me smiling!

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SAMANDAXO 3/30/2008 1:28AM

    Heather Newton John...you are one cute girl....love your outfit.....keep up the good work....I enjoy reading your blog....now if you can only put my face on one of those wenches standing next to Captain Jack Sparrow, I would really be smiling!!!!!!
Crisann

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JENNYALL4HIM 3/29/2008 8:47PM

    You go girl! I'm proud of you! And you are proud of you. That's the best!

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I'm feeling proud of Me today!

Saturday, March 29, 2008


Because I've become amazing on the balance beam...lol.

Actually thats the funhouse software the only thing of me is the face. But hey...give me a few months here at spark and that could be me. If the mere thought didn't strike terror to my heart. lol

Anyway...yesterday despite my best efforts I couldn't get back on the treadmill the two more times I planned when my energy gave out at the pool. So I had to settle for my 35 minute pool workout.

I didn't let it get me down though...I realized that for whatever reason, my body is demanding rest and I don't have a choice anymore I have to listen. Some times I have more energy than others and I'm going to have to maximise my work outs on those days and do what I can the rest of the time. My weight will still come off just not as fast as I had hoped and who knows next month I might be burstin with energy just as suddenly as I lost my energy.

Today I got up at 5 am, and worked until 3pm at the hotel. I was going to swim but I saw how many people were there and decided not to bother and to come home and get on my treadmill. Usually I just come home and fall asleep for a few hours, not today though I got up there and I did....80 minutes of walking/running intervals. I was "supposed" to do my c25k week 3 28 minute run, however the energy wasn't there for the sustained run today, so I just broke it up into intervals and made it my goal to burn 500 calories today. Which I did.

So far today I have gotten in 7 glasses of water, and I believe it was 7 servings of veggies and I'm still well within my calorie limit.

I will be having another mini meal before bed to get my protein level up.

I'm really tired now. lol

But in a good way....I'm feeling really quite good about myself.

So now I'm going to go have a rest and not feel bad about it...I've earned it.

Tomorrow is another early work day and I hope to hit the pool and hottub after work.

hugs all,
Thank you for your inspiration... I love this website.
Heather

  


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