Friday, November 21, 2014
My name is Greg I am a grateful recovering Compulsive Over Eater, I was not abstinent yesterday.
I am not really sure whats going on these days, I have been out of sorts the last few weeks. Life seems to be spinning more out of control each and every day that goes by . I've been praying when I get up and before my meals, I've worked on getting back into as many phone meetings as I can.
Still I am run down and not feeling well, I truly am powerless over the food and I have just been giving in the last few weeks. Prayer and turning it over to my HP seems doesn’t seem to be working at all.
The ongoing suggestion is to turn it over and let my HP handle things and I need a power greater than myself. At this point I really don't know what that looks like or how to do it. I start my day off with prayers from program and ask for help to get through my day, at various times during my day I say quick small prayers asking for help, it all seems useless because I am still suffering.
I am starting to get resentful at being told to let my HP handle things because he doesn't seem to be doing anything. I am doing the best I can at the work, yet the compulsion is still here, in full force and as deadly as ever
All I know how to do is keep coming back like I have done for the last 4 years. Yesterday someone asked me if I thought I would ever get recovery, and I said yes without missing a beat if I just keep coming back I will recover, but as I sit here this morning those words hold little value to me.
My blood sugars have been running really high as of late which in turn makes me feel like crap. I have been off my meal plan a little bit here and there, but nothing to justify how high my sugars have been running. I'm going to email my Dr for suggestion
Plan of Action
send meal plan
make 2 out reach calls
make 2 out reach texts
be of service