Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Evenings are hard for me. I get tired and hungry. The stress of the day puts the proverbial straw on this camel's back and I want to snack on "bad" foods.
I have found that to keep my momentum, I can read SP recipes rather than reach for a bag of chips or chocolate! If I go to my laptop and scroll through recipes, I almost always find something (or many somethings!) that make me think, "Ooooh, that sounds GOOD. And HEALTHY. And it wouldn't sabotage all my work today. I'm tired and don't want to make it tonight, but maybe tomorrow!" Somehow, just reading about these healthy, yummy alternatives lessons my night cravings. I actually DO make some of the recipes, but often when tomorrow comes, I don't NEED the food, and so it goes unmade and uneaten! And in the process I find great recipes for healthy ways to prepare the food I already have in my fridge, or learn tricks to lower fat, etc. Win, win!
All of us need to find our coping strategies. This one helps me.
Monday, July 08, 2013
Wow. It's been a hard 3 months, but now with my CPAP, Thyroid medication for my totally burnt out thyroid and getting a handle (I think) on my "buddy block" problem, I am ready to spend energy and attention on myself. Every sparkpoint is a babystep towards taking care of myself. Every pound released has a lesson to teach, and I think I am ready to learn!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
I had a HUGE a-ha this morning, and I don't know what to do with it.
My husband noticed that I had been eating yummy food lately, not just healthy, but GOOD. He also had seen me working out, be it in 10-20 minute bursts. I made the mistake of letting him know I 'd lost 13 pounds and he asked "How?". I told him about SP...how excited I am and how helpful the site is, and how hopeful I am, etc. Good thing, right? Wrong.
He "did it with me" for a week or so and lost 4 pounds himself, but of course "My Fitness Pal" is better 'cause it ADDS calories allowed to eat due to exercise, blah, blah, blah. Our son came home from college this weekend and we had our Easter Dinner late...cause I was out of town that day and no one else would cook it, etc. My dear husband put on a few pounds...so did I.
I've felt almost compulsive about my eating the past 4 days. Last night before bed he asked, "Are you still doing that Spark People Thing?" When I said yes he said, "Great, cause I need to get back on it, and I do better when someone else does it with me." THAT moment was when I had my epiphany:
I don't WANT to do SP, IF I have to do it FOR someone else. I mean, a BIG part of my weight gain has been because there are so many people in my life I have to take care of and 'carry'. So much so that I feel I have to BE BIGGER to carry them all, or they will suck me dry. Doing 'that SP thing' WITH or FOR someone else takes all the JOY and SELF-CARE out of my efforts and turns them into CARE-TAKING someone else.
I just want to cry. I feel so robbed. I gotta get around this hurdle. I guess SEEING is the first step, but I feel caught.
HOW do I emotionally turn this back into ME taking CARE OF ME? How do I tell my dear husband to take care of himself? I can't carry him. I am so TIRED.
And so I cry the cosmic, "HELP".
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
So, yesterday I was so excited to get back online and begin tracking SP goals and food etc. I've been on vacation and didn't have access to computers regularly and the battery died on my fitbit, etc. so I gave up on tracking for the week. But, I watched what I ate...within reason. I WAS on vacation after all. Anyhow, something happened and I found myself really upset, hurt and angry. I was so upset I wanted to kick someone and cry. I tried solving the problem and talking out my frustration with friends, but I was still just profoundly upset. My healthy dinner went out the door and I bought Little Caesar's Pizza for the girls for dinner. Of course, I had to eat 3 peices. Then, I noticed I just wanted to sit and snack...like I haven't done in a month. the only up side is that I only ate cornnuts and not tons of sweets, but still....
Looking back, I saw the patterns of anger and hurt that lead to munching. I also realized that EFT tapping may have been able to short circuit the binge and heal the hurt. Lessons. Baby steps. Learning.
Monday, March 11, 2013
This past weekend I haven't felt well at all. I am still being screened for some health issues and don't have answers yet. When I feel that tired and sick I crave carbs more, it is just plain hard to want to do more than lay around. I gave myself the weekend off from exercising, but tried to stay in my calorie limit, but ate more carbs and fats, which I'm guessing will have a negative domino effect. Back on the nutritional balance today!
Also, when stress in others washes over me or is put in my lap like I'm supposed to do something with it, I just want to give up. Thanks to SP and tapping, I am not. I choose to take care of myself and trust them and God enough to let them find their own answers. But for a chronic "fixer" this takes faith and great will to not step in or pick up their problems.
Get An Email Alert Each Time HARTMOM7 Posts