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Sparkland, follow the yellow brick road and find your brain, heart and courage to go on.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

I feel like I have been asleep for years instead of days. I am still hurting but maybe part of that is my fault. I need to exercise starting Wednesday again. The land of spark has videos, I can follow.

I have to journey along with my spark friends and keep to the plan I formulated. I have been eating smaller portions. I have been eating in those little baking dishes. I eat one with veggies and one with fruit for most meals ...sometimes just one for a meal and one later. I have lost another 2 pounds so it is working.
When I get groceries:
1. fish with onions, lemon juice with a baking dish of veggies,3 hushpuppies
2. A pita pocket with veggies, tomatoes, cucumbers, onion and a little drop of vinegar
3. a veggie plate with cornbread on a saucer
4. fruit for snack
5. oatmeal with blueberries and walnuts
these are a few ideas for a menu.

where is my fairygodmother when I need her. I want to lose faster. Please wave that wand and let me go to the land of spark to see the wizard.

If only I had a brain...I would listen to my body and eat the things I need to. Oh wait ..I am eating better.
Maybe the wizard of spark land gave me the tips and tools I needed. Why didn't I keep using them all along instead of searching for the yellow brick road to a fast fix?

The wizard of spark is called spark guy and he has such a big heart to supply us with a land that is free and all the help we need.

I think we just need to muster up the courage to fight the junk food witch and her flying monkey treats.

Look out! There she is and she is loaded with candy and sugary cakes. Help wizard of spark land!

Thank goodness sparkland sent me a friend to help me up and lend a supportive hand.

So if you are struggling down a dark path, reread the articles and use the great tools on spark.

Click those ruby slippers and come back to sparkland. It is the next best thing to home for losing weight and getting healthy. But you can't just lay there , you have to do the work and eat right.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FORZACHANDMATT 10/29/2014 9:29PM

    LOVE THIS!!!

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STAV44 10/29/2014 8:42AM

    Love the Wizard of Oz. I have watched this movie at least once a year since I was a little girl. Now my grandkids are hooked on it, It is always better when watched with a child.

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LADYDL 10/29/2014 8:10AM

    Keep up the good work! You can do it :)

Drink your H2O, rest, movement and feel better soon!


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HAWTGRANNY2014 10/28/2014 8:27PM

    thanks Lita

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L*I*T*A* 10/28/2014 8:16PM

    love Oz too...........
take care prayers you will get some relief soon......

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HAWTGRANNY2014 10/28/2014 8:03PM

    thanks bean. I love the wizard of oz too.

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A_RARE_BEAN 10/28/2014 5:33PM

    This blog made me smile, love the wizard of oz. You are losing weight and that is great keep it up, small losses all add up! I hope your pain eases up soon.

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An unexpected gift that brought joy to my heart and a knowing that Jesus and God are with me.

Monday, October 27, 2014

I was feeling pretty down today. I am still hurting and really tired but most of all, I felt so alone. I know God is with me but I still find in my heart that I am asking why? I know it is not for us to understand his plan. I know this! But sometimes when we get tired of being sick. It seems like it goes from one thing to another. I know it is my fault. I ate the wrong things and gained weight and was overweight all my life. It is me who is to blame. God gave us free will.

I had a friend who's house burned down and she said, why? She said" I go to church."
It is to easy to blame God for our troubles when we bring them on ourselves. I feel like my connection is not strong enough yet to feel that undying trust. I want that! I do believe in God with all my heart and I know Jesus died for our sins...but I feel unworthy of so much love. I sometimes think about what a sacrifice he made and I want to cry that I don't feel like I am being what he wants. I know there is more he put me on this earth for but I don't know what that is. I want to help people so bad.

Today, I heard something hit the door and found a package on my porch. A beautiful prayer shawl was in the package. A friend from sp sent it to me. I am not putting her name because I don't know if she wants me too. She said it was a gift from God and I wrapped it around me and felt warm. This note was included.

" Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your soul. It was signed, Jesus. " I have loved you with an everlasting love."

It was like she was an angel and God led her to send me this as a sign.
I ask God to bless her and keep her safe because her heart is surely big and her soul blessed.

Even though there are times we feel alone on this journey he is with us.

His hand is always there for us to find strength.

So if you are feeling alone and ready to give up, stretch out your hand and receive him in your heart. I need to listen more deeply to his guidance.
Dear God,
Please bless those who seek your guidance. Take their hand an let them know that you are there always. Help us all find peace and feel your everlasting love. Let all that feel alone feel your love and presence. Send guardian angels to protect and bless them. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STAV44 10/29/2014 8:39AM


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FACETOTHEVEIL 10/28/2014 8:49PM


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L*I*T*A* 10/28/2014 10:04AM

    whan a beautiful gift of love!!

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GOANNA2 10/28/2014 7:59AM

    Pam, that was a wonderful gift from a spark friend.
Just remember that you are never alone even though
at times it seems like nothing is going our way. hang
in there and keep praying. Hope you feel better soon.

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HAWTGRANNY2014 10/27/2014 10:59PM

    I do feel blessed and really hurting again tonight. Took a pain pill and been wrapped in the warmth for awhile. I am not now because I needed something to focus on besides the pain.

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COLOR-BLUE 10/27/2014 10:49PM


What a wonderful gift, you've been given! Do you realize that this is a tangible gift that a SP member gave to you and then Jesus spoke from the prayer shawl! It just brings to mind the woman with the issue of blood and all she did was touch the hem of His garment! Wrap yourself up in the shawl and rest!

Pam, you are TRULY BLESSED!!


- Nancy Jean -

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SHEENADEE 10/27/2014 6:43PM

    That is such a wonderful gift! And I know that has to make you feel good to know that someone thought so much of you to take the time (and talent) to make the shawl for you.


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SHARON2014 10/27/2014 6:06PM

    Remember Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who went into the fiery furnace because they would not bow down to the king's idol? They told the king that they would not bow down and that their God would save them. Then they said, "But if not, we will still not bow down." God delivered them, but He doesn't always deliver us from pain and hurt. These young men loved and worshipped God unconditionally - not for what he did or did not do, but because of Who He Is. Jesus said that we would have trouble in this world...He certainly did!. emoticon

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BLOOIZEANGEL 10/27/2014 5:52PM

    That is beautiful!

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AUNTALICE2 10/27/2014 2:58PM

    I belong to the prayer shawl ministry in our church and this gift is wonderful! You are prayed for while making the shawl. May God bless you my friend!! emoticon

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LADYDL 10/27/2014 1:50PM


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The little kidney stones that could. Relief at last. plan for victory

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Not feeling as good today as yesterday but my kidney stones are like the little engine that could. They are chugging right out and still going. How many can be in there? As many as want to I guess.

Can you say more fiber? You already know about the constipation issues and my impacted bowel. Boy I bet you just love the subjects of this blog. My body and mind have been saying eat fruit and veggetables and I had been except for the 25 days in the hosptials with hubby. I ate what they gave me but I still didn't eat enough though. My mind tells me to eat just that but not listening very good, I guess. I am going to eat fruit and vegetables but also get back to no meat but fish as soon as I get groceries next week. If I end up in the hospital again for that it will not be for lack of trying.
according to articles I read, you need more fiber and lots of water to push it out. The water I drink most of the time. The last week in and out of hospitals and bed, I guess I needed even more.

Ok so sometimes I crave junk food. What am I crazy or is it those luring commercials on tv and the smell that it evokes? Is having a sandwich of this meat worth the horrible pains in my stomach from being constipated? Meat is a cause of constipation, so is dairy, etc...and all the other things I had gone back to eating. Where in the world is my mind? Is it on vacation in some tropical island while I sit and eat too much?

I was so afraid I would have to go back to the hospital again so I took a laxative and I am back on stool softeners....had them for 3 days... and lots of water and hot tea ( decaf...caffeine can also cause constipation) and finally today, after sitting an hour: I went! What a relief I felt.

I felt like I was facing a tiger on a limited space and kept backing up until that moment that I won the battle!
I am the victor.

I am taking a bite out of that bad food and watching what goes into my mouth. Thing is sometimes I eat without thinking until it is already in there. Oh no you don't junk food. I am on to you!

My mind is back from vacation. My body is trying to co-operate and I am forming a plan.

1. Only eat when I am hungry
2. more fruit and vegetables
3. lots of water
4. get more movement after I have the stint out and am ready for it. Don't overdo at first. Give my body time to adjust.
Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night. Going to be very hard for me.

Get relief.

Thanks for reading my blog. I appreciate you all. Big hugs. Pam

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

L*I*T*A* 10/27/2014 11:15AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 10/27/2014 10:15AM

    Hang in there, Pam.

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A_RARE_BEAN 10/27/2014 8:52AM

    Oh do I hear you on problems with the pipes, I battle it most days and yes fruits and vegetables really are the best way to keep them moving. Sometimes I use aloe Vera juice and as am at my grandmas I have sersi tea daily. You can do it!

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GOANNA2 10/27/2014 2:47AM

    Glad to hear you will plan what you will be eating now.
I am lucky that i don't have constipation problems. I find
that when i eat 2 brazil nuts every morning around breakfast
time and i am off to empty out... emoticon
I hope your hubby is feeling a little better now. is he in the
rehab centre now? I hope they are looking after him there. emoticon
I want to say boo right back at you. Thanks for the Goodie!

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COLOR-BLUE 10/26/2014 11:31PM


I understand about the constipation, as when I was in the hospital I had a bowel obstruction and in was so bad in was all the way up under my breasts. They took me off the rehab ward and put me in the regular hospital for SURGERY! I flat out said "NO" and so I began a regime of mineral oil. 2 TBS. every night and after 5 days man it broke loose and made a really BIG mess all over the hospital room and through into the bathroom an al over me. It took the nurse 4 hours to clean everything, including me, up! I have IBS so I'm from one extreme to the other and the middle ground doesn't exist for me. My heart goes out to you!

Girl, you seem to have it all in order, as to the game plan you'll be following, and that's FANTASTIC!!! Stick to it girl, and all is well!


- Nancy Jean -

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AUNTALICE2 10/26/2014 10:24PM

    I understand your problems with constipation. Since i have had my gastric sleeve - i am taking two stool softeners every day. And i still have problems. I hope it straightens out for you - i know it makes you miserable. Great planning on your goal list! emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 10/26/2014 4:14PM

    Great plan to keep yourself feeling better inside and out emoticon

Hope you feel much better soon emoticon

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no Pain, halloween tricks

Saturday, October 25, 2014

I didn't go to sleep til 5 am and did take a pain pill because of hurting in my port, jaw and neck...but not the horrible pain. I probably could have done without the pain pill but it was a reflex action.

Woke up about 10 and no pain....except back and that Is pretty much every day. That I can live with. Yeah me! Ambulances please pass by and don't stop here.
Got my dishes done. doing laundry and had lunch. Didn't want breakfast. I told you I gained 10 pounds of water well I am down 3 of it. It might not be all water...I did the best in the hospital but did eat the desserts. I stayed within my calorie and carb range though so maybe something else is going on...not sure. Right now, today, all I want is to enjoy no pain.... except the norm.

Hubby is getting up and down to the toilet and bed from the wheel chair by himself. They are supposed to be having 2 people with him whenever he makes transfers but yesterday he had to go so bad and no one came that he did it himself. That is how he fell before, twice in the hospital. Well the second time was with one person helping him.
He is very proud that he is doing it but I am scared that he might fall again. He told the head of the nurses about no one coming and she told him that was not supposed to happen. I guess one of our favorite nurses over there quit and took a job somewhere else and his favorite can hurt her back and is off for awhile. So they are short handed. They just spent a bunch of money this summer on new furniture, having the place painted and now are redoing the bathrooms. His is of course one, so he has to go down the hall to the big one for everyone. they got a bunch of money from someone who died. At least that is what someone told him. Why didn't they spend some of that money hiring more cna's?

You would think that care should come first and then fixing it up. It wasn't bad that I could see anyway. But it is like a second home to him and we like the people working there. I just hope they are more careful now. He says someone comes to watch him now but they are supposed to have 2.

the wind will blow, the wolves will howl
In the dark you might even hear a low growl
The candy is sitting on the table,waiting for costumes galore.
You might even see it disappear faster than it did before.
Watch out for that hand that snatches it
It might even be your own.
One little piece, then just one more, then get that bowl out of the way.
Halloween comes but once a year, but the cravings might not go away.
The ghosts will tiptoe around your yard
The gremlins stand on watch and guard.
Put that candy just out of your reach or better yet,
let someone else hand it out.

Have a boooootiful Halloween and be safe.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

L*I*T*A* 10/26/2014 12:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LADYDL 10/26/2014 9:00AM

    Sounds like you are doing better! Continuing to pray for you and Jack.


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NEW-CAZ 10/26/2014 4:31AM


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LJCANNON 10/26/2014 12:44AM

    emoticon Praying that you and DH have a safe, Uneventful Week and that you both continue to recover well.

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COLOR-BLUE 10/25/2014 7:32PM


Does your DH use a board to transfer himself from the wheelchair to anything else? I don't understand him falling, if he has a board to transfer himself. That's how they taught me to move from one surface to another when I was in rehab. It might be different for other people and places, who knows.

It's good that you're doing better and that you did get some sleep. You may think that it might have been a reflex action as to why you took the pain pill, but I believe Father God, was trying to spare you some other pain and letting you get your rest! You're getting stronger and stronger each day and so is your DH! Both of you keep up the GREAT work and get home as safely and as soon as God allows!

Thanks for the little Halloween poem, it's cute!


- Nancy Jean -

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LKWQUILTER 10/25/2014 6:01PM

    Pam, I just go through reading several of your blogs to see what is going on with you and am so sorry for all that is happening in your life. Praying that you and your dh will get healthier and have a better 2015 than 2014. Know that I am thinking of you and will do better. (((HUGS))) dear friend, Linda Kay

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SEATTLE58 10/25/2014 3:17PM

    Yes, goodbye ambulances! We don't want you to need them ever again! Right? Right!! I'm so glad that you have less pain and I hope that that continues, for your sake. I'm glad too that your husband is doing pretty good. Yes, the $ could of hired more CNA's, if there were any around to hire. It seems that everybody is hiring these days. It's a pity shame how so many don't want to work nowadays! emoticon I love that poem! So cute and so true!! Have a great rest of the weekend!! emoticon Boo!! emoticon

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Another ambulance ride! I am home tonight though after surgery

Friday, October 24, 2014

Well I took another ride in the ambulance at 3:00 Thursday morning. I'm beginning to think it is my new mode of transportation.
Lets start from the beginning. first went to hospital, found kidney stones, kept me for 2 days then sent me home to pass them. That night pain really bad, ambulance ride to same hospital. Had impacted bowels, cleaned them out. Not a ride at Disneyland but a nightmare.

They took an exray and said that the stones were all gone. That night pain twice as bad. Could hardly breathe. Ambulance ride but went to the other hospital. My blood pressure was in the 200's. they took me to exray. found my kidney completely blocked and took me for emergency surgery. Put in a stint to drain the stones and kept me til this afternoon to make sure everything was going right and not much pain.

Now I am home and if I take another ambulance ride tonight I will scream all the way to the hospital and you will here me. Right now, I have no pain...still passing stones, but no pain.
Thank God for ambulances because i would still be at home in pain without them.

If Pain comes to see me tonight it is in for a fight because for once this week, I feel pretty good.

Look out Pam's coming through!

loads/2014/04/ambulance5.png is where I got this for free.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHEENADEE 10/27/2014 6:45PM

    My goodness, you are having more than your share of issues right now, Pam. I'm glad to hear you are feeling better after this ordeal. Take care and rest up!

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HELMTGRL 10/25/2014 12:02PM

    Pam, you remind me of something we used to say in Vermont, "If she didn't have bad luck, she wouldn't have any luck at all." I think you are in for a long run of good times, after all this. How is Jack doing?

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SALGUOD2 10/25/2014 6:38AM

    Hope you are through this and have passed all them stones.

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TERI-RIFIC 10/25/2014 6:11AM

    emoticon I hope everything goes well now that you have the stent.

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NEW-CAZ 10/25/2014 3:10AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HAWTGRANNY2014 10/25/2014 1:07AM

    thanks everyone. I am going to stay home...no more ambulance rides.

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BLOOIZEANGEL 10/24/2014 11:40PM

    My poor little Tiger!!! My goodness girl, you have been through a lot! I am praying nothing else happens. emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 10/24/2014 11:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SEATTLE58 10/24/2014 11:10PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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APROMISE4ME 10/24/2014 10:07PM

    Hope everything turns out alright for you .. take care !


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FACETOTHEVEIL 10/24/2014 10:05PM

    Holy frijoles!!! You are just a barrel of fun! emoticon

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LADYDL 10/24/2014 9:50PM

    Oh my Gosh Pam....Get well soon. Sending an extra prayer your way.


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