Tuesday, October 28, 2014
I feel like I have been asleep for years instead of days. I am still hurting but maybe part of that is my fault. I need to exercise starting Wednesday again. The land of spark has videos, I can follow.
I have to journey along with my spark friends and keep to the plan I formulated. I have been eating smaller portions. I have been eating in those little baking dishes. I eat one with veggies and one with fruit for most meals ...sometimes just one for a meal and one later. I have lost another 2 pounds so it is working.
When I get groceries:
1. fish with onions, lemon juice with a baking dish of veggies,3 hushpuppies
2. A pita pocket with veggies, tomatoes, cucumbers, onion and a little drop of vinegar
3. a veggie plate with cornbread on a saucer
4. fruit for snack
5. oatmeal with blueberries and walnuts
these are a few ideas for a menu.
where is my fairygodmother when I need her. I want to lose faster. Please wave that wand and let me go to the land of spark to see the wizard.
If only I had a brain...I would listen to my body and eat the things I need to. Oh wait ..I am eating better.
Maybe the wizard of spark land gave me the tips and tools I needed. Why didn't I keep using them all along instead of searching for the yellow brick road to a fast fix?
The wizard of spark is called spark guy and he has such a big heart to supply us with a land that is free and all the help we need.
I think we just need to muster up the courage to fight the junk food witch and her flying monkey treats.
Look out! There she is and she is loaded with candy and sugary cakes. Help wizard of spark land!
Thank goodness sparkland sent me a friend to help me up and lend a supportive hand.
So if you are struggling down a dark path, reread the articles and use the great tools on spark.
Click those ruby slippers and come back to sparkland. It is the next best thing to home for losing weight and getting healthy. But you can't just lay there , you have to do the work and eat right.
Monday, October 27, 2014
I was feeling pretty down today. I am still hurting and really tired but most of all, I felt so alone. I know God is with me but I still find in my heart that I am asking why? I know it is not for us to understand his plan. I know this! But sometimes when we get tired of being sick. It seems like it goes from one thing to another. I know it is my fault. I ate the wrong things and gained weight and was overweight all my life. It is me who is to blame. God gave us free will.
I had a friend who's house burned down and she said, why? She said" I go to church."
It is to easy to blame God for our troubles when we bring them on ourselves. I feel like my connection is not strong enough yet to feel that undying trust. I want that! I do believe in God with all my heart and I know Jesus died for our sins...but I feel unworthy of so much love. I sometimes think about what a sacrifice he made and I want to cry that I don't feel like I am being what he wants. I know there is more he put me on this earth for but I don't know what that is. I want to help people so bad.
Today, I heard something hit the door and found a package on my porch. A beautiful prayer shawl was in the package. A friend from sp sent it to me. I am not putting her name because I don't know if she wants me too. She said it was a gift from God and I wrapped it around me and felt warm. This note was included.
" Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your soul. It was signed, Jesus. " I have loved you with an everlasting love."
It was like she was an angel and God led her to send me this as a sign.
I ask God to bless her and keep her safe because her heart is surely big and her soul blessed.
Even though there are times we feel alone on this journey he is with us.
His hand is always there for us to find strength.
So if you are feeling alone and ready to give up, stretch out your hand and receive him in your heart. I need to listen more deeply to his guidance.
Please bless those who seek your guidance. Take their hand an let them know that you are there always. Help us all find peace and feel your everlasting love. Let all that feel alone feel your love and presence. Send guardian angels to protect and bless them. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
I didn't go to sleep til 5 am and did take a pain pill because of hurting in my port, jaw and neck...but not the horrible pain. I probably could have done without the pain pill but it was a reflex action.
Woke up about 10 and no pain....except back and that Is pretty much every day. That I can live with. Yeah me! Ambulances please pass by and don't stop here.
Got my dishes done. doing laundry and had lunch. Didn't want breakfast. I told you I gained 10 pounds of water well I am down 3 of it. It might not be all water...I did the best in the hospital but did eat the desserts. I stayed within my calorie and carb range though so maybe something else is going on...not sure. Right now, today, all I want is to enjoy no pain.... except the norm.
Hubby is getting up and down to the toilet and bed from the wheel chair by himself. They are supposed to be having 2 people with him whenever he makes transfers but yesterday he had to go so bad and no one came that he did it himself. That is how he fell before, twice in the hospital. Well the second time was with one person helping him.
He is very proud that he is doing it but I am scared that he might fall again. He told the head of the nurses about no one coming and she told him that was not supposed to happen. I guess one of our favorite nurses over there quit and took a job somewhere else and his favorite can hurt her back and is off for awhile. So they are short handed. They just spent a bunch of money this summer on new furniture, having the place painted and now are redoing the bathrooms. His is of course one, so he has to go down the hall to the big one for everyone. they got a bunch of money from someone who died. At least that is what someone told him. Why didn't they spend some of that money hiring more cna's?
You would think that care should come first and then fixing it up. It wasn't bad that I could see anyway. But it is like a second home to him and we like the people working there. I just hope they are more careful now. He says someone comes to watch him now but they are supposed to have 2.
the wind will blow, the wolves will howl
In the dark you might even hear a low growl
The candy is sitting on the table,waiting for costumes galore.
You might even see it disappear faster than it did before.
Watch out for that hand that snatches it
It might even be your own.
One little piece, then just one more, then get that bowl out of the way.
Halloween comes but once a year, but the cravings might not go away.
The ghosts will tiptoe around your yard
The gremlins stand on watch and guard.
Put that candy just out of your reach or better yet,
let someone else hand it out.
Have a boooootiful Halloween and be safe.
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