Thursday, October 23, 2014
Okay some input please!!! I know some of you know some background but not sure if you all do. I worked in nursing for years, mostly long term care ( seniors). I have degenerative and herniation of my lower back, osteo arthritis in my knees, back, mid back, ankles. I get sciatica badly at least once a year and usually lasts for month or so. I get neuropathy in my toes and down my calf mostly L side. I have arthritis in my thumbs and fingers and sometimes my hands. Sooooooooo.... I had to stop work 4 years ago and have been waiting for knee replacements for nearly 2 years. Interestingly enough, my knees haven't been as severe in past few months, now have heard that sometimes the bones ( it is bone on bone on R knee and near that on L) rub smooth and don't hurt as much. Or perhaps cos I have been doing so much phsyio to get my legs and knees strong for replacement surgery, which I don't really want. Okay I can still walk, do limp some days, etc. but balance has been chore since I was a kid. I was told by my GP that it probably wont help my back issues or the arthritis and fibromyalgia. Oh and have gained some this year and need to lose 45-50 lbs. I know that I am not great arthritis wise and cant work and that knee surg. isn't going to change that but still I don't want to be old and have it done, but also don't want it done if not totally necessary.
Here's the kicker.... My dad who will be 89 Nov 23rd. lives in our basement, pretty self sufficient but I do make some of his meals, help him with his socks and such. He has a chair lift to come up to our main level when he wants ( rarely he is not a social being and rather grouchy, always has been). Okay some may know that end sept he was hospitalized for 9 days after having a chest xray and finding a sac of fluid behind the chest wall and lung area, called a plural effusion. They don't know what caused it or what to do for it. So they drained 1 liter immediately in ER then his other lung collapsed and hence hospital. 2 wks later we spent all day at ER waiting to get in, then after another hr they drained yet another liter. His dr called Monday wanting to see him.... Blood work back. NO not cancer which I thought ( my mum died of lung cancer and they both were smokers dad still is, outside only so smoking less). But his kidneys are not working at all well, should be at least a 66 his is 24. dr said stage 4 kidney failure, 5 is dyalisis and they probably wont do it cos of age, breathing issues and such. he said I don't want it. also no life support or assistance. he has been failing in kidneys ( I didn't know) for few years so dr didn't say any time line etc. dr will send him for CT scan and also respirologist to see what to do about this lung issue.
Okay again...... I got a missed call from the knee surgeon today while we were out. They didn't leave a message but presume they will call tomorrow. usually 6 wks prior to surgery. What do I do!!! I have waited 2 years and go to the bottom of the list if I say no. I will be 58 end of this year. it sure isn't a good time, but then if dad is with us he will be sicker in 2 years, and if not we want to build on our land in Windsor an hr from city and is in cottage country ( so woods). Hubby isn't going to want to drive in daily and I don't want to be in the midst of building a house or whatever.( we have to sell to build so will be living in our RV and on a time line or have to live here and not afford it so well till we see what goes on with my knees...... my son works 2 jobs and has 2 kids and he suffers from crohns disease so is busy and not able to help a lot. My daughter will help but doesn't drive. She can help around here and with dad but not at appointments etc. I suppose hubby can drive them to er and she can stay with him. OMG she freaks at any of that, cries when I tell her things that are wrong with him. Hubby has anxiety and said he isn't going to sit at hospital every time dad has to go to have the stuff drained. Anyway, just venting and nervous. don't want surgery,/ want it over with, would love to go into my 58th year with the worst knee done and then concentrate on me. granted I say that every year don't we all! LOL but my knees aren't super sore now, but then tomorrow maybe but raining for 3 days and not bad, back, etc yea but not knees.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh there now. typed enough! thanks gals!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
First off I too got an ad, but when I made it small enough was able to click it off and get to the videos. oh well.
So dads dr appointment was a surprise for me and probably him too. Not cancer which I am sure lisa( dd )and I to some extent) thought cos he has smoked since he was 15 and is almost 89. but will write what I told a friend I was messanging with so I don't copy it all again.
-so dads appointment, was mostly blood work results. which show his kidneys are very very poorly functioning. of a 5 they are 4 , 5 is dyalisis and they probably wont do it and he doesn't want it. He also can hear fluid so said don't be surprised you will have to go back to ER. He checked his heart and his neck veins and said you are not in heart failure. So he said while you both here and okay, I want to clarify DNR etc. so no breathing assistance either which I knew. But he did say not to worry about that now. I said does he need to go to the urologist now cos he doesn't seem to want to and he said there are more pressing things than that and what the urologist will say is what I have said. If you want to go then yes but don't stress over that. -
So, I knew he had to pee all the time, and didn't pee much, but didn't know it was kidney disease or that advanced. Anyway dr is going to send him for CT scan of chest and to a respirologist to see if there is anything to do with this fluid build up. I don't think there is much more he can do for the kidneys. also he is anemic and is checking his calcium too.
Not much to say right now as not really sure what's going to happen. Guess he was telling us what to expect down the road. anyway.
I had a good day at supper. After the dr dad wanted to go to supper, I chose fish and when they said baked, mashed or fries I said can I have extra veggies instead of any potato. Sure. so that's what I did. Also cos my heartburn is bad, bad, bad with the prednisone really bad. I started taking my nexium and don't want any choc. as it just makes it worse.
The video I listened to really made me think and then the 2nd one she said two lines.
What I put inside my body is 100% my control. Don't ask yourself if you are full, ask is my hunger gone..... Melissa Joulwan
I really took that to heart and today it helped more than once! I have to get ready for bed as haven't been sleeping well again and it is nearly 11 pm.
HUGS and hope you all had a great day.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
I so hope this works, as it is awesome. goes on about binging, emotional eating her breaking up with chocolate forever. and also how she learned bout her body. 36 mins but fantastic. only available for today .
She says some can have treats in beginning, some can't and you have to learn what is right for you. She also said say out loud to yourself or hubby etc. I am CHOOSING To binge now, I am going to compromise my body's health. often that will stop you or really make you binge less.
very interesting video.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Pictures of my grandbabies... Dil puts them on FB but has a very closed page which is great but at times I gotta share LOL
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