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Where is the determination and will power?

Monday, February 24, 2014

I sure needed this article..... www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivat

My emotions are going all over the place lately. Winter blahs, grief, hormones, and weight gain have all taken a toll on me this winter.

I lose 1 lbs, gain 1 lbs, lose 1, gain 2, repeat. For months now, meaning a very slow weight gain and I don't like how I look and feel once again.

I try to stay positive---looking at all the weight I have kept off - nearly 50! And all the health progress I've made---(see a previous blog).

I am exercising like I haven't been able to do in over 15 years!! And yet.....
I am making much better, healthier food choices than EVER! And yet.....

Some days I feel like giving up....it is so hard to eat healthy in this house. Desserts, chips, ice cream, soda pop, Little Debbie cakes, pasta, pasta, pasta, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, beef 4-5x week abound. I feel doomed to weigh 180lbs until the kids (age 22 and 17) leave home. If I don't buy it, they do. I do not enjoy cooking, so I refuse to cook 2 separate meals for every meal lunch and supper.

I try to change up my meals a bit so they are healthier choices.....baked potato with chili sauce instead of hotdog, bun, and chili sauce or salad with tuna mixed with avacado instead of the Kraft mac -n-cheese and tuna, salads, salads, and more salads while everyone else has potatoes, pasta, and bread but it doesn't seem to be enough to keep the weight from slowing coming back.

I had lost 65 lbs. I was at 162. I am now fighting to keep it at 180. ugh.

I've even joined a challenge team to see if competition and accountability would help. Sadly, for my wonderful teammates, NO. (so very sorry WRJ&G team mates!)

I am so much more tired.
I am more achy.
I am more sad.
I am more fat.

I just don't understand how to live my family's life and stay thinner.

Where did my determination and will power go?????????????

I did it before with the same foods in this house.

Where is that determination I had before?

I am a VERY strong-willed person....why am I not applying it to the foods I put in my mouth?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JYGETSFIT 2/25/2014 1:36AM

    Try not to be so hard on yourself, you are in a difficult situation. I like what any of the comments said but I agree with JOHNNMARTINMILES the most. Get as calm as you can be, imagine a blank canvas and then dream about/imagine what or who you want to be, be as detailed as you like. Once you are done, let it all go. Hand it over to a higher power if you believe in one. This is a great practice.

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MNABOY 2/24/2014 11:56PM

    For me November to March have been bad motivation to eat healthy times for the last 6 years. Seems my surgery month in December and rehab is in good form by March? Have to have surgeries when wife can help immediately after, she teaches out of town. two knees, back and renal have taken toll but over all I have made major advances with drift back during the Thanksgiving to March time. We will do better and try to be steadier?

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1CRAZYDOG 2/24/2014 9:07PM

  You've had stress, and that definitely affects the body, and life just doesn't stop coming @ you! So, just realize you're not alone.

Your kids are old enough that if they didn't like what I prepared, they could make themselves a PB&J or the like. But I too just simply don't have the time to make separate meals.


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NIKIZAHA 2/24/2014 1:52PM

    You are not doomed to anything!! emoticon

I know what your problem is. You THINK that you can't move on. And you are terribly scared as well.

It happened to me too. I stayed stuck at more or less the same weight for months. A few pounds up (after a few days of indulgence and binging) and then a few pounds down. And then again.

And then I realized that I didn't believe I could do better. And another thing. It's comfortable here. Not too fat any more. It's already amazing how I've changed.... it's kind of hard to try more.

Yes, I didn't want to pay the price. And the price is dearer now than it was at the beginning. The weight doesn't come off as easily as it used to. And I didn't want to "suffer".

So I asked myself if I was really pleased to stay where I was.

And I also asked myself if I really couldn't bear a little more "pain".

Yes, it feels good to be able to eat more. To be full. But the horror! The horror of the consequences! Have you forgotten?

And I decided. So get up and do it.

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NEWCHINELO 2/24/2014 12:41PM

    My dear just keep doing your best . . . we cant throw away our family,we put them in our plans,we must not give up but keep pushing emoticon

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SARAHTAIT 2/24/2014 12:12PM

    I am there with you...everything you said hit me as though it was me venting. So know you are not alone in your emotions.
Spring is coming and I know that will help you a lot. Getting outdoors has a restorative effect. Here in Georgia it is sunny and in the 60's today...and that has really made a difference for me. Hang in there....soon you will be enjoying warmer weather and feeling better....
I am here for you!

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SPARKLINGHOPE 2/24/2014 10:24AM

    emoticon I am doing the same thing... emoticon

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    Sometimes you have to put determination and will power aside and just relax, let go and visualize you success.

Make Today the Greatest Day of Your Life

emoticon Until Tomorrow!

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Working out during winter

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Here is my view while working out to any one of my Leslie Sansone walking dvds. Because of my fibromyalgia, I can not workout outdoors in the winter, so I workout where I see our beautiful property and the wildlife.

Buddy and I watch the birds eat seed I throw out onto the snow, the squirrels scamper about, the Great Blue Heron fishing in our creek pool, and the mallard ducks swim up and down the creek while I work out.

Today a female Piliated Woodpecker came up to that deck railing, which is just a foot from all my bird feeders. I moved too fast while trying to grab the camera and scared her off. I will attempt again. The bitter cold must have her needing the suet to stay warm.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TPETRIE 2/14/2014 6:21PM

  Awesome pics!!! I love walking to Leslie Sansone! I have the 5 day ultimate walk, it is quite the workout. Have a very Happy Valentine's Day! emoticon

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LYNNIERN 2/14/2014 6:08AM


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SPARKLINGHOPE 2/13/2014 11:40AM

    Beautiful! Best wishes!

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JYGETSFIT 2/13/2014 5:44AM

    Beautiful views!

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MADAMES 2/13/2014 4:48AM

    What a beautiful view you have! Good for you for sticking to your winter workout routine!


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MNABOY 2/12/2014 10:09PM

    You are making a lot of lemonade out of your challenge, way to go. Great view.

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1CRAZYDOG 2/12/2014 8:21PM

  Thanks for sharing your beautiful view! HUGS

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ANNEMAC5 2/12/2014 2:22PM

    Hi I am in the same 5% team and noticed your blog. I did my first Leslie dvd from you tube yesterday a 3 mile in 45 mins and really enjoyed it. So think I will be looking at some others to do. We have so much rain in England but no snow still difficult to walk out doors. Your background picture is beautiful and you have a great view when you do your indoor walks. My two kittens love to sit and watch the birds.
emoticon Anne

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GRACEOMALLEY 2/12/2014 2:05PM

    Looks lovely! It looks like you have some cardinals out there. So pretty. They don't live in Colorado and I miss seeing them.

Keep up the good work and bird watching! emoticon

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NEWCHINELO 2/12/2014 1:53PM


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Artificial Sweetners and the gut

Friday, January 17, 2014


Be sure to read the REVIEWS!!!!!
emoticon I am counting this article as cardio for today!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NSEMANCO 2/11/2014 2:23PM

    Thanks for making me laugh today!

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JYGETSFIT 1/19/2014 2:07PM

    This is so funny, my husband shared it with me too.

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1CRAZYDOG 1/17/2014 9:23PM


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DMSPEER93 1/17/2014 4:11PM

    Good info, Heidi!

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SPARKLINGHOPE 1/17/2014 12:53PM

    Thanks for sharing :)

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HOPEFULHIPPO 1/17/2014 10:30AM


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a review of my 2 1/2 years on SparkPeople (from 5% team homework)

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

* What have you accomplished in the years since you started?

emoticon I have kept about 50lbs off (took off 64, then have regained).
emoticon I have overcome depression.
emoticon I have gotten off 1 bp med (1 to go).
emoticon I have gotten my glucose numbers down to normal.
emoticon I have learned to manage my fibromyalgia.
emoticon emoticon I have re-discovered my love of walking and hiking.
emoticon I discovered I LOVE yoga!
emoticon I have gotten off soda pop.
emoticon I've gone from a size 22 to 16 pant and XXL to L (14) shirt.
emoticon I now sleep all night long (most nights).
emoticon I no longer MUST nap to get through my day. I no longer require a nap after grocery shopping.
emoticon I can now garden all day long once again!!!!
emoticon I can walk a 5K on a regular basis

*What are you currently working on?

emoticon I am getting my 15# re-gain back off.
emoticon I am working towards working out 30 minutes 5-6 days per week (without causing a fibro flare-up--this has taken 2 1/2 years to get to this point)

*What challenges did you face?

emoticon glucose intolerance (with a diabetic father)
emoticon Hypo-thyroidism
emoticon high blood pressure

*What are your proudest moments?

emoticon Being able to hike with my family.
emoticon Being able to garden all day long once again.
emoticon Walking a 5K around a nearby lake once a week (during good weather so my fibro doesn't punish me)

*Update us on anything you would care to share.

I love the increase in energy I discover with each pound I lose! I was completely sedimentary and trapped by fibromyalgia pain and hypothyroid brain fog and fatigue. I re-found ME under all that fat!!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIPALADY23 1/8/2014 6:57PM

    Wow wow wow!! Amazing! Way to go! So excited for ou and you have motivated me to do a similar review!

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1CRAZYDOG 1/7/2014 9:33PM

  Wonderful!!!! Great job. HUGS!

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MADAMES 1/7/2014 6:26PM

    You have a lot to be proud of!

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LITTLEGUYSMOM1 1/7/2014 4:50PM

    Love your blog! So many accomplishments and goals reached - WAY TO GO!! Wishing you success on your 5% Callenge.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENNY888 1/7/2014 3:22PM

    You can be very proud of all these accomplishments. I am inspired by reading all of them. Congratulations.

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10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out (and all my SparkFriends, too!)

Friday, December 06, 2013

I feel I need to add: I did not write this but LOVE it's message. (Sat. 12/7)

10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know About Working Out
by brynnharrington on November 19, 2013

Mid-way through a recent group exercise class, the teacher lost me. She didn’t lose me because of some complicated step sequence or insanely long set of burpees; I mentally checked out because of a few words she kept saying over and over. “Come on! Get that body ready for your winter beach vacation! Think about how you want to look at those holiday parties! PICTURE HOW YOU’LL LOOK IN THAT DRESS!”

“THAT DRESS?” My brain couldn’t focus on an image of some random dress hanging in my closet. All I could think about was my three-year-old daughter hearing and trying to process those words.

My daughter’s little brain is making sense of the world every single second, taking in verbal and non-verbal cues about how things work and what things mean. And when it comes to exercise, I want her to grow up seeing it as a joy, and not a utility…as a gift, and not a chore…as an opportunity, not an obligation. I want her to do it for the love of it, not to fit into a dress. I want her to grow up knowing that…

1. Strength equals self-sufficiency. Being strong – particularly as a woman – is empowering. It will feel good someday to be able to carry your own luggage down the stairs if the airport escalator is broken, and it will be important to have a solid shot at outrunning a stranger should you meet one a dark alley.

2. Fitness opens doors. Being healthy and fit can help you see the world differently. The planet looks different from a bike or a pair of skis than it does from a car or an airplane. Out in the elements you have the time and space to notice details and meet people and remember smells and bugs and mud and rain and the feeling of warm sunshine on your face. And those are the moments that make up your life.

3. The bike is the new golf course. Being fit may help you get a seat at the table. Networking is no longer restricted to the golf course, and the stronger you are – and the more people you can hang with on the road and trail – the more people you’ll meet.

4. Exercise is a lifestyle, not an event. Being an active person isn’t about taking a class three times a week at the gym. It’s about things like biking to the grocery store and parking your car in the back of the lot and walking instead of taking a cab and catching up with friends on a hiking trail instead of a bar stool.

5. Health begets health. Healthy behavior inspires healthy behavior. Exercise. Healthy eating. Solid sleep. Positive relationships. These things are all related.

6. Endorphins help you cope. A good sweat session can clear the slate. You will have days when nothing seems to go right…when you’re dizzy with frustration or crying in despair. A workout can often turn things around.

7. Working out signals hard-working. The discipline required to work out on a regular basis signals success. Someone recently told me they are way more likely to hire marathon runners and mountain climbers because of the level of commitment that goes into those pursuits.

8. If you feel beautiful, you look beautiful. Looking beautiful starts on the inside. And being fit and strong feels beautiful.

9. Nature rules. And if you’re able to hike/run/bike/swim/ski/snowshoe, you can see more of it.

10. Little eyes are always watching. We learn from each other. You may have a daughter—or a niece or a neighbor or a friend – one day. And that little girl will be watching and listening to everything she you say and do. What messages do you want her to hear?

I’ll never talk to my daughter about fitting into THAT DRESS. But I will talk to her about what it sounds like to hear pine needles crunching under my feet and what it feels like to cross a finish line and how special it is to see the world on foot. I will talk to her about hard work and self sufficiency. I will teach her the joy of working out by showing her I love it. And I’ll leave the rest up to her.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNESHOPE 1/6/2014 8:39PM

    Sounds like she was just trying to 'hit' on the things that she thinks are motivating to people. In my case I want to sit & cross my legs, play with my 2yr old without people staring, and yes...I want to look good in clothes, as well as buying them again. I don't even like shopping because I don't like anything I fit into. (or just don't like the way I look in them)

So it's just all a matter of perception. My #1 goal is to get healthy..# 2 look awesome... LOL...
emoticon LOL.... sorry... had to put this on here! hehehehe

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REALLY_ROBIN 1/6/2014 7:16PM

    Thank you....I needed this!

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MIPALADY23 1/6/2014 6:52PM


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VKKESU 12/6/2013 11:30PM

    Wonderful !! You are so right !!

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DELIA38961 12/6/2013 7:22PM

    great blog emoticon

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MADAMES 12/6/2013 6:29PM

    You are SO right about this! When people talk to me about how much weight I've lost or what size I now wear my response always is... Thank you for noticing...I just want to be as healthy as I possibly can.
emoticon emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 12/6/2013 6:22PM

  Your daughter is one lucky little girl!!! What a fabulous blog. Thanks for sharing.


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