Friday, June 21, 2013
I joined a Sparkpeople challenge in the Progress Not Perfection team called "Four by the Fourth", in which you try and lose 4 pounds from the beginning of June to the 4th of July. I am usually very sporadic on my team participation, but I have been trying to keep up with this. I've gone from 239 to 237, so I feel like I have a real shot at making the goal!
I have another goal this month, too. I noticed while looking at my trophies that I won 1000 fitness minute trophies in June and July of last year, but haven't since then...I usually get 500-750 minutes in. I have pledged to myself to try and get a trophy this month, and strive for a 1000 minutes a month from here on out. So far, I'm at 745 minutes and it's the 21st...I'm spending the weekend with my family and I'm moving next week. I haven't taken any extra time off to do it, either! I think I can still make it, I'll try for at least 60 minutes of a walk or hike tomorrow or Sunday, and Sunday night I will definitely do at least 45 minutes of ST. I'll do my best, I think I can fit in 250 more minutes between now and next Sunday!!!
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
I was looking at my weigh in report today, and realized that I started tracking a year ago today. On my spark page it says tomorrow, but you know. Close enough.
I have gained and lost, gained and lost weight since I was 14 or 15 years old. I have lost weight (at different times) through starvation, extreme exercise, running, eating only plant foods (for weight loss only, not health), and just not eating right (without actually trying to starve myself).
This, my friends, is the first time in my 31 years that I am doing everything with HEALTH in mind. It wasn't just about losing weight this time. It was about changing my life, loving myself, and being healthy. May of 2012 was one of the worst times in my life, and I knew that I either had to start changing my life or just give up. Believe me, I teetered on the edge of giving up for quite a bit. I was killing myself with food anyway, so why not just speed up the process?
I have told everyone I get the chance to about Sparkpeople. It changed my life for the better, not just helped me lose weight. I found out that I'm not the only one who would eat until I was sick, and hate myself, and eat more because I hated myself. It's not that eating felt good; it felt BAD and I felt like that's all I deserved. Why exercise? I didn't care, no one cares. Why bother? I drank ALL the time. I felt bad about myself, felt bad about my life. If you're drunk all the time, you don't notice as much. I smoked. Because why not? Who cared. I had all of these friends, but I felt like they were looking right through me no matter how much fun we had. What I had were a bunch of drinking buddies. Not all of my friends, but definitely more than half of the ones I saw on a regular basis... Looking at numbers, I would say I have less friends now than I did a year ago, but all of the friends I do have are amazing and wonderful, they are people that I wouldn't want to go a day of my life without.
My life has completely turned around. I started small, just watching what I ate. Doing a little bit of exercise here and there. I stopped drinking because the calories were out of control...over 2000 a day some days. That's no good, I wasn't supposed to be having more than 1800 on the plan Sparkpeople generated for me. So I cut that out from 4 to 5 days a week binge drinking to once or twice a week to once a month to now, where I have a glass of wine or a beer once a month and I'm done. I slowly stopped smoking, because although working out felt easier, somehow I was still feeling out of breath. I started neglecting friendships that were unhealthy, and somehow shedding friends built my self-esteem. My relationships with people are so much healthier now.
I feel so amazing. I love myself now. I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been, and it isn't caused by an alcohol-induced haze. I am so happy I turned my life around. I'm so happy I found a supportive community in Sparkpeople to help me do it. I've lost 63 pounds in the past year, but what I've gained in happiness and quality of life simply cannot be measured.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Yesterday I was off work, lounging around, trying to talk myself into a pizza for dinner. I didn't do so hot at lunch, but I didn't REALLY want to keep on with the derailment. I know that if I let myself argue long enough, I will give in to pizza.
Instead, I told myself, lets just get something like hummus as a snacky thing, and I can eat as much as I want until I'm full instead of trying to stay in range. Sounded like a good compromise. Then I thought, it is SO nice out, how about I walk across the Big Dam Bridge http://www.bigdambridge.com/ since it's like a mile from the grocery store? It will be a leisurely 1.5 mile stroll. No pressure. Afterwards I'll grab my snack.
So I go to the bridge, and as I'm walking up a family is walking up...so I really push it so they aren't 2 feet behind me the entire time. I get kinda weirded out about stuff like that.
Long story short, I end up walking across the bridge, then running about a mile into the park and back, then back across the bridge. Total time 55 minutes, distance 3.4 miles. And I felt SO GOOD afterwards. Just getting out there is all I need to really make a great workout, I don't even need the motivation to do big things, I just have to talk myself into little things.
I went to the store and got the snack pack of hummus with the pretzels (by then I felt a little more inclined to portion control), as well as a protein shake chocolate milk (I was already feeling sore, and I was 20 g short of the days protein). I drank the shake on the way home because I was STARVING. By the time I got home, I was pretty full so I set the hummus snack pack aside. I'll eat it in an hour or two when I'm hungry again, I thought.
Well, I never did get hungry haha. I had that sucker for breakfast and it was delicious. All this is to say, it's ALL baby steps. All of it. If you make one bad decision, it can easily snowball into a mess. But, if you can just make one GOOD decision, it works the same way. It all adds up.
Friday, May 17, 2013
I had the best workout today! I did the interval setting on the treadmill, 30 minutes with 1.5% incline. The "rest" portion was at 2.9 mph, "work" at 5.0 mph. The last interval I worked at 5.5 mph. It was a nice run/walk and I feel AMAZING now.
I'm so glad it is Friday. I am behind at work, it's been a pretty crazy week. Yesterday the weather was doom and gloom and rainstorms, today its hot and muggy and SO humid!! It's supposed to be around 90F tomorrow and Sunday. I'm planning on getting a hike in tomorrow or Sunday morning, but I should shoot to do both I think
Next weekend, I want to go out to some areas outside of the city with my housemate, he's a photography student and I want to share some of these places with him before I move out of my house in a few months. He has some real talent, and he's cool to hang out with. That should be a fun time. Hope the humidity isn't up then!
I hope everyone's had a good week and has an even better weekend.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I mean the weather. It's pouring, it has been gray and gloomy all day. In this building, I am bright and happy. I am wearing a pair of size 16 slacks today. They are snug, but not tight. I can't believe it. I see glimpses of myself in the mirror (sadly I usually avoid mirrors) and I can't believe how much smaller I look. I think of trying on these pants a few months ago, and they would barely pull up over my rear. The buttons weren't even near touching, let alone buttoning.
I went and picked up a new bra and panties today during lunch. I was going to wait until I've lost 6 more pounds for that reward, but I wanted it now. I feel like I deserve it now...and need it. Additionally, almost all of my little goals reached were rewarded a week or two late. I have enough faith in myself and my new lifestyle that I know I WILL lose 6 more pounds. I'm not on a diet; I have a new way of life.
Tonight I am spending time with one of my favorite people. He is someone who has been a constant in my life for the past year, and I love spending time with him. It just keeps getting better and better. We will be wasting time, but there's no one I'd rather waste my time with.
Spark on, everyone. Remember, you are worth it. Things do get better. Constant baby steps can take you around the world, all you have to do is never give up.
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