IACTA_ALEA_EST   47,452
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IACTA_ALEA_EST's Recent Blog Entries

hello mirror, hello picture

Friday, August 03, 2012

There have been some stare-downs in the past, glances like daggers, and even open loathing and tremendous negativity between us. How did I start hating our time together and feel dread of our next meeting? Was it worse when I loathed you or when I turned my back on your image and denied that you had anything to do with me?

I regret that it took me so long to see the whole picture.

I did not want to acknowledge you because all I could see were my flaws.

As every day goes by, a little more each time I see you, I can celebrate a little, and see more than light and dark, flesh and bone. I strive to see inside, for a glimpse of the happier and more incredible me. When I see old photos I have compassion for myself when I was UNSPARKED and stagnant. But I didn't give up on the hard days, I got here! I found mentors and tools and grabbed myself by the bootstraps and I'm proud of myself.

When I was locked in a cycle of hating a very small portion of me I was missing the person that I am to my family, and the world around me.

I can't make up for lost time, but I pledge to see beauty before flaws.

I take ownership of the things that I can change within my body and character to honor the life that I was given and to keep it a healthy host for a happy woman with so much to give to the people around her.

Namaste and blessings



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPIRIT42013 8/3/2012 4:51PM

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GETFIT2LIVE 8/3/2012 12:49PM

    Hurray--you are getting it! When we start to love and honor our body where we are, as we are, not just once we' have reached our goals, the real changes can begin. Way to go!

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avoiding bedtime

Thursday, August 02, 2012

I love to sleep, but lately I have been decreasing my time in bed...I am getting ready to go back to work and of course, my system is in denial...Like to focus on sparking....

Well, I do enjoy my work, but balance makes the mind relax, so I'm going to do a little mediation upon waking in the morning to a hypnosis exercise that a sports psychologist made for me. It's pretty cool.. He plants positive thoughts (you have the wisdom and strength to achieve your health related goals) while I am relaxed and receptive. I mentally rehearse success and when faced with choices, I have already practiced them...McDonalds (blech)....see that was easy! Tomorrow I will try, "go to bed early so you are well rested and your metabolism can stay high".

as a little footnote I woke, stretched and listening to my relaxation tape. Then I logged into spark and found a basket of goodies and sweet notes from my spark friends.... Starting out to be a very good day. There is a fresh pot of bone broth simmering downstairs, and its flylady errand day. I added kombucha tea for added probiotics and that was some fizzy fermented tea. It's is so yummy, I may just make room in the budget for it.

I have amazing friends on spark. I am surrounded by their amazing energy!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JXNCHICORY 8/2/2012 8:42PM

    Peace and love to you.
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when the anxiety comes on

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Today I had a moment. The dog and I were returning from a bike ride and, lo, there was a stranger in my front yard. The phone rings, CREDO mobile says I am paying 42 cents a minute to call Toronto. The stranger is inspecting my home for an insurance appraisor. I have a to do list that is a mile long and I haven't had breakfast.

This is vacation! My heart is pounding and I am in anxiety mode! The positive spin:
Had broth ready for warming and spark going.
"Paid myself first" (piper is second)
Reprioritize came to mind.
The inspector was fine on his own.
I got my breathing back to normal.

It gave me a glimpse of how habitual the stress response is. I used a spray of rescue remedy and breathed. I hope I find a way to disable the stress reponse. My neck and back are still tense!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLORNH 8/1/2012 5:14PM

    Sounds like you handled it well!

And the background shot on my page, in answer to your question, is a shot I took on Puget Sound when I lived in WA.

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STHAX10 8/1/2012 11:40AM

    I know so well, the anxiety response. I get so bad that I develop hives, then tear my skin apart! It is rather embarrassing when people can see how I mutilate myself. I also have developed an ulcer which gets irritated when I am overly stressed. With limited medications available, because I am allergic to so much, my doctors have me to a minimum plus I go to counseling now. I have always been a strong person, but with age...I can not handle too much at once now.

I am glad that you are able to get the positives out of it and reconfigure how you will handle it! emoticon emoticon

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bought a car today

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

I spent the last few days at dealerships and learning about cars online....very little cardio compared to the last two months, but at least that is done.

I stayed with a base model despite temptations of blue teeth and turbo engines -- it is MY engine that needs turbination more than anything.

I'm also pleased with the full strength cleanse and am feeling better ever day. I read a few pages of Eat Fat , lost fat while waiting for quotes and learned a little about lower cortisol by feeding my adrenals with the right fat. I still dont have a handle on lacto-fermented beverages but did find that the bone broth I am making it a super addition to digestive health.

Would have been nice if Gastro MD had mentioned it..... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MTREFRY 8/1/2012 7:55AM

    Enjoy the new car emoticon

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SALGUOD2 7/31/2012 8:16PM

    enjoy the car

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SPARKABELLA13 7/31/2012 7:03PM

    Congrats! Enjoy the new wheels!!!

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PATTOMMC3 7/31/2012 6:44PM

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PHATPAT18 7/31/2012 6:44PM

    Enjoy your new car. emoticon

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day three cleanse

Monday, July 30, 2012

I appear to be tolerating the parasite cleanse at half strength and tomorrow I will increase to full strength. I have also been increasing fiber with new vegetables like well cooked cabbage and eggplant.

Other people have reported this is a rough cleanse but then again, maybe I dont have any parasites. Perhaps tomorrow will open a full strength world of hurt! Yikes!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLORNH 7/31/2012 3:11PM

    Doing it half strength initially probably helped! Hopefully today is going well! I've done the cleanse before without too much discomfort.

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