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IDLETYME's Recent Blog Entries

Safe Driving Award?

Thursday, November 21, 2013


A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"
"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"
He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."
The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."
The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEALHAWK1 4/21/2014 10:25PM

    Lol! thank you

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CAROLFAITHWALKR 1/7/2014 2:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CATIATM 12/13/2013 7:33AM

    emoticon

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JOYCECAIN 12/7/2013 10:08AM

    Love this. Keep up the great work. You always make me laugh.

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PURPLEPEONY 12/3/2013 10:43AM

    emoticon

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REXTINE1 12/3/2013 10:41AM

    Hard to believe. Good one.

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KLONG8 11/25/2013 1:18PM

    Made me smile!!!!

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IMEMINE1 11/24/2013 10:37AM

    emoticon

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ELIZACG9 11/22/2013 4:31PM

    Good one!! emoticon

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MAUREENIE1 11/22/2013 9:42AM

    Ha! Good one!!!!

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KATHRYNLP 11/22/2013 8:58AM

    I hear there's going to be a sequel to Dumb and Dumber.... maybe this is the preview? emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GABY1948 11/22/2013 4:15AM

    emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 11/22/2013 3:09AM

    emoticon

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JTREMBATH 11/22/2013 12:40AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ARTJAC 11/21/2013 11:27PM

    emoticon emoticon

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LINDAK25 11/21/2013 9:44PM

    Oops! emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 11/21/2013 9:16PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MCJULIEO 11/21/2013 9:03PM

    Bwah hahahahaha!

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MILLISMA 11/21/2013 8:08PM

    Boy, they hit them all emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 11/21/2013 7:17PM

    emoticon

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WALLAHALLA 11/21/2013 6:53PM

    emoticon

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JULIA_211 11/21/2013 6:34PM

    emoticon A good day for the cop! emoticon

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TEALHAWK 11/21/2013 6:12PM

  emoticon

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GINNABOOTS 11/21/2013 5:21PM

    emoticon

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BESCATS 11/21/2013 3:57PM

    Sounds like a case for NCIS to get involved in ~ they can solve anything. emoticon

That was awesome, thanks for sharing !!

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MLEHTO 11/21/2013 3:54PM

    emoticon

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PICKIE98 11/21/2013 3:49PM

    Sounds like a Cheech and Chong movie!!

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Two Nuns and a Mini Dracula

Friday, October 25, 2013



Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?" shouts Sister Mary Agnes.

"Show him your cross," says Sister Mary Vincent.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Mary Agnes. She then opens the window and shouts, "Get the hell off our car!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERILYNN1 6/17/2014 7:34PM

    I was a nun for almost ten years and NO "nun story" has ever made me laugh so hard. . .good thing I hadn't taken my water pill yet!!!!! Meri

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TEALHAWK1 4/24/2014 10:44AM

    emoticon

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PICKIE98 11/21/2013 5:05PM

    Well, I hope you are happy now: I am Catholic and I just spewed water all over my desk and keyboard!!

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KLONG8 11/5/2013 2:18PM

    I didn't see that coming! Funny!

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 11/4/2013 10:09AM

    Lol!!!

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JOYCECAIN 11/1/2013 12:12PM

    I just love your blogs. I actually made it to Mass today. Take care. I am back ONLINE. Love.

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PURPLEPEONY 10/29/2013 6:26PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 10/28/2013 10:18AM

    Ooo, too funny!

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IMEMINE1 10/26/2013 9:40PM

    emoticon

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CASTIRONLADY 10/26/2013 9:15PM

    Great funny! Works for me.

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TEALHAWK 10/26/2013 8:56PM

  emoticon

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GABY1948 10/26/2013 6:26PM

    emoticon

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JULIA_211 10/26/2013 7:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 10/26/2013 2:24AM

    emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 10/25/2013 9:10PM

    Where do you find these? lol

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ARTJAC 10/25/2013 9:04PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SOFEDUPP 10/25/2013 8:51PM

    That was awesome!!!

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MILLISMA 10/25/2013 8:26PM

    Ha, ha, ha....didn't see that one coming!!!! emoticon

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LINDAK25 10/25/2013 6:11PM

    emoticon

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WALLAHALLA 10/25/2013 5:25PM

    emoticon

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DORIS39 10/25/2013 4:53PM

   

CUTE...... emoticon

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WILDKAT781 10/25/2013 3:59PM

    emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 10/25/2013 3:07PM

    emoticon

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BESCATS 10/25/2013 2:51PM

    That should do it ~ a "cursing nun" !! emoticon

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ELIZACG9 10/25/2013 1:58PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CATIATM 10/25/2013 12:43PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 10/25/2013 12:32PM

    emoticon

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JAMARIGOLD 10/25/2013 12:22PM

    I love that joke! emoticon

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REMEMBER_THIS 10/25/2013 11:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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One Blonde To Another

Thursday, September 12, 2013



A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEALHAWK1 4/24/2014 5:22PM

    Too funny!

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MAUREENIE1 11/7/2013 7:10AM

    So hilarious! emoticon

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SENATOR9 10/25/2013 12:54AM

    blonde jokes are great

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ELIZACG9 10/18/2013 11:24AM

    emoticon

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GRAYLADY13 10/14/2013 10:20PM

    Wonderful funny joke! Thanks for a good laugh!

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DEQUINTA 10/3/2013 4:37AM

    emoticon too cute! my laugh for the day!

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IMEMINE1 10/2/2013 9:05AM

    Good one! LOL! emoticon

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CATIATM 10/1/2013 12:45PM

    Too cute!

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REXTINE1 9/28/2013 2:17PM

    Good one.

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PURPLEPEONY 9/22/2013 10:51PM

    @ ALDEBARANIAN
you must be blonde too... emoticon

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PURPLEPEONY 9/22/2013 10:48PM

    emoticon ha ha! emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 9/22/2013 2:30AM

    hehe

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GERIKRAGH 9/21/2013 1:40PM

    That's great!

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JOYCECAIN 9/21/2013 1:35PM

    I loved this.

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DOLLYHOLLY 9/17/2013 10:10PM

    emoticon Too funny!

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DORIS39 9/17/2013 9:08PM

   

LOL.

GLAD I'M NOT A BLOND

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WILDKAT781 9/17/2013 2:12PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 9/16/2013 10:26PM

    Haha

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ARTJAC 9/15/2013 5:32AM

    emoticon

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REMEMBER_THIS 9/14/2013 10:37PM

    Too cute! Thanks!

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JTREMBATH 9/13/2013 10:15PM

    emoticon

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KATHRYNLP 9/13/2013 9:35AM

    "sigh"

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ALDEBARANIAN 9/12/2013 9:47PM

    :\ I don't get it.

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LINDAK25 9/12/2013 8:29PM

    emoticon

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SIRENALEANNE 9/12/2013 4:46PM

    BWAHAHAHAHA emoticon

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LAINYC 9/12/2013 3:37PM

    emoticon

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3016DEBRA 9/12/2013 2:25PM

  emoticon Great!!!

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WALLAHALLA 9/12/2013 1:44PM

    emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 9/12/2013 12:42PM

    emoticon

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MILLISMA 9/12/2013 12:13PM

    Ha, ha...didn't see that coming!!! emoticon

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BESCATS 9/12/2013 11:45AM

    emoticon A need another drink for that one !! emoticon

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TEALHAWK 9/12/2013 11:41AM

  emoticon

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GABY1948 9/12/2013 11:13AM

    emoticon

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GK1963 9/12/2013 11:11AM

    Oh My!

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TINY67 9/12/2013 11:00AM

    emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 9/12/2013 10:57AM

    Nooooo! emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 9/12/2013 10:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NKING1982 9/12/2013 10:46AM

    emoticon emoticon

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A Man Dining Alone

Sunday, July 28, 2013












A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
********************
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'
**********************
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.
*************************
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time..
************************
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
*************************
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. . ..





Wait for it ... ......

It's coming ..... ....

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?






She said ... .....:

'You just happened to catch my eye.'



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAUREENIE1 11/7/2013 7:31AM

    emoticon

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GK1963 9/12/2013 6:06PM

    "Groan"

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TEALHAWK 9/12/2013 11:46AM

  emoticon emoticon

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ELIZACG9 9/10/2013 11:46AM

    ha ha ha......LOL emoticon

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JIMINY24 8/20/2013 6:51PM

    Ha ha ha ha! Made my day! emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 8/19/2013 4:53PM

    *groan* emoticon

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KLONG8 8/15/2013 2:14PM

    It take nerve to share a joke on these blogs. I really didn't see this one coming. Funny! Thanks!

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IMEMINE1 8/9/2013 2:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DOLLYHOLLY 8/6/2013 9:48AM

    So funny! emoticon

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CATIATM 7/31/2013 7:47AM

    emoticon

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MOM1014 7/30/2013 3:17PM

    Great laugh!! emoticon

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GABY1948 7/29/2013 7:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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3016DEBRA 7/29/2013 2:46PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon Can't believe I didn't guess that!

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LINDAK25 7/29/2013 11:19AM

    emoticon

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BLITZEN40 7/29/2013 10:23AM

    emoticon

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REXTINE1 7/29/2013 10:16AM

    I hadn't heard that for a long time, and I did really laugh out loud. Thanks.

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KATHRYNLP 7/29/2013 8:22AM

    Nancy... that's hilarious.. I loved it! emoticon emoticon

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FERRETLOVER1 7/29/2013 7:48AM

    emoticon

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JULIA_211 7/29/2013 6:30AM

    emoticon emoticon

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THROOPER62 7/29/2013 4:41AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JENJEN1004 7/29/2013 4:35AM

    You're a hoot! I was trying to figure out what the punch line was going to be...maybe something about "keeping and eye out" but yours was alot funnier.

emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 7/29/2013 2:25AM

    emoticon

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CONNIER64 7/29/2013 1:38AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ARTJAC 7/28/2013 11:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MCJULIEO 7/28/2013 10:59PM

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

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WALLAHALLA 7/28/2013 10:07PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 7/28/2013 9:40PM

    Oh GROANNNN lol!!!

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MILLISMA 7/28/2013 8:25PM

    Ha, ha, ha!!! Good one!

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SENATOR9 7/28/2013 8:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 7/28/2013 8:16PM

    emoticon

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TXGRANDMA 7/28/2013 8:15PM

    Ha Ha! I must admit, I guessed the punch line! emoticon

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GINNABOOTS 7/28/2013 8:11PM

    Very funny, loved it.

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DORIS39 7/28/2013 7:49PM

   

THAT'S A GOOD ONE, NANCY. emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 7/28/2013 7:45PM

    OMG lol

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0309COOKIE 7/28/2013 7:39PM

    That was very clever!

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LIVINGFREE19 7/28/2013 7:39PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BESCATS 7/28/2013 7:37PM

    What a way to end it, I couldn't get to the punch line fast enough. emoticon



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KSCRAP363 7/28/2013 7:36PM

    that's hilarious!!! I loved it!!!

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Baby's First Doctor Visit

Saturday, July 27, 2013


This made me laugh out loud. It may be a little saucy for some.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied.

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITTYCAT64 9/12/2013 9:05AM

    That was funny.

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DESERTDREAMERS 8/19/2013 4:54PM

    Go, Granny!

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DOLLYHOLLY 8/6/2013 9:48AM

    emoticon

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TEALHAWK 7/30/2013 7:14PM

  emoticon

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MOM1014 7/30/2013 4:08PM

    Oh yes...It IS funny

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POOH_BEAR_69 7/28/2013 11:25PM

    That's hysterical!

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PAMNANGEL 7/28/2013 8:20PM

    Grammas just don't look like Grammas anymore! I remember when Grammas looked like 👵! Nowadays they look more like 👩! emoticon

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GINNABOOTS 7/28/2013 8:14PM

    Yes it did make me laugh out loud. Hilarious!

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ASHERAH38 7/28/2013 7:46PM

    emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 7/28/2013 7:45PM

    hehe

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TXGRANDMA 7/28/2013 5:33PM

    Ha Ha! I'll bet that doctor turned red! emoticon emoticon

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REXTINE1 7/28/2013 4:29PM

    emoticon

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ELIZACG9 7/28/2013 3:59PM

    emoticon

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BLITZEN40 7/28/2013 2:46PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 7/28/2013 1:21PM

    That killed me! emoticon

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BESCATS 7/28/2013 9:40AM

    Definitely made me more than laugh emoticon Guess the doctor had a red face after that !!

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IAMFRANSGIRL 7/28/2013 9:38AM

    emoticon emoticon
Thanks for the laugh!!

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CATIATM 7/28/2013 7:14AM

    emoticon

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    emoticon

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    emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 7/28/2013 1:00AM

    emoticon

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 7/27/2013 11:03PM

    Lol!!'n

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KATHRYNLP 7/27/2013 10:39PM

    That's Hilarious! emoticon emoticon

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JTREMBATH 7/27/2013 10:03PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DORIS39 7/27/2013 8:36PM

   

OH PHOOEY, AND I HAVE NO LITTLE GRANDCHILDREN TO TAKE TO THE DOCTOR. emoticon

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ELIZACG9 7/27/2013 7:02PM

    emoticon

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SENATOR9 7/27/2013 6:57PM

    emoticon way to go Grandma

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PHEBESS 7/27/2013 6:39PM

    Go Granny!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 7/27/2013 5:32PM

    emoticon AWESOME and so very funny!!! Thank you for making me laugh this afternoon!!!
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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0309COOKIE 7/27/2013 4:38PM

    emoticon

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JULIA_211 7/27/2013 4:19PM

    Oh my God! Hilarious! emoticon

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MILLISMA 7/27/2013 3:38PM

    Ha, ha, ha....can you imagine the poor doctor!!!! Love it. emoticon emoticon

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MATTEROFHEART 7/27/2013 3:30PM

    emoticon

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CBLENS 7/27/2013 3:20PM

    lol

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I*AM*BLESSED 7/27/2013 3:13PM

    Very funny!

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